A/N:

Hey! :D

So this year I participated in a massive secret santa fanfiction exchange called Yuletide. The following is a stocking stuffer I wrote on the day before the big reveal, when everyone's requests were made public so people could write treats for others besides their person. I found someone who asked for 'any pairing', and I simply couldn't resist. x)

It's slash, just so you guys know. Also, it's a pretty obscure pairing - this is prolly the first fan thing for it hehe... though I bet it's crossed everyone's mind at least once before! ;P

Huh. I'm noticing a trend of janitor closets in my writings. Fancy that, eh? B:

Soo - enjoy, I s'pose?


The Benefits of the Uniform

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Police Headquarters after hours. Offices and hallways deserted. Or so it seems.

Down the hall from the break room, a door marked 'Utility Closet' creaks open and a head adorning a white helmet with a gold police insignia, peeps out. The face behind the clear visor belongs to an adult, a man in his late twenties. His narrowed eyes dart up and down the hall, abnormally large buck teeth gnawing his lower lip. The tension in his gaze fades into triumph when he realizes that all is silent.

In a weasel-ish yet commander-ly voice, he declares:

"All clear!"

Immediately, the deep, baritone voice of his unseen partner responds from the depths of the closet:

"You sure 'bout that, baby?"

"Affirmative! They've all left!"

"Cool."

The first officer emerges from the closet - a fairly thin, shrewd fellow decked out in full uniform: matching navy blue pants and shirt(bearing the word 'POLICE') complete with white gloves, black boots and belt, and finally, a triangular white vest-like shoulder piece to top it off. Stepping into the flickering light cast by the hall lamps, it is revealed that the second cop is a slightly buff-built robot dressed in a similar uniform.

The two look around a bit more; without turning around the human officer speaks again.

"Phew... they almost caught us that time." Voice laced with relief.

"You humans sure make a lot of noise." Slightly accusatory.

The human cop whips around to face his partner(who slightly towers over him), miffed-

"Hey - you were the one who knocked over the mop!"

"I wouldn't have knocked it over if you'd taken it easy instead of jumping on me."

"Yeah, well, you were late today and I was... was..."

"...eager to get it on?"

"...yeah."

"..."

A brief silence hangs suspended between them for a moment, as the manbot smirks (as best a robot can) down at his human partner, who appears to be fighting a losing battle to the blush creeping over his pale face. The opening of a door somewhere in the building causes them to jump and look in the noise's direction, effectively shattering the moment.

The weasel-ish voice:

"C'mon, URL - let's go before the janitor comes and sees what we did to his closet. Again."

"Good idea, Smitty."

---

After high-tailing it out of the Police building, the two make their way down the street to the corner where they always part. It's awkward. Smitty the Human shuffles his feet and minutely fiddles with his wrist communicator in an act known as 'stalling'. URL the Robot casts a glance at the glowing red neon sign of 'Robot Arms Apt' building, his processors aching for 'Stand By' mode.

Deciding that he'll do just that, URL claps his companion on the shoulder with a metal hand in farewell.

"See you at work. Drive safely now." Smitty's car is parked a little ways down the street.

The manbot begins to quietly clank down the sidewalk. He doesn't go five steps before-

"Wait!"

URL stops. Smitty hesitates, then clumsily asks the question he knows he doesn't have to ask, but does anyway just to feel the familiar fluttering sensation in his stomach at the answer:

"So uh... lunch shift tomorrow...?"

The robot's response is instantaneous, shiver-inducing.

"Ohhhh yeaaah..."

---