Title: Simple Nonsense
A/N: I just wanted to write a little bit of humour. For once, the Judas Priest and Nosferatu, which is a shock. Just a little bit of fun that came to me in class.
Disclaim: I don't own…still!
Enrico looked up at Sir Hellsing. He had to admit that for a simple, Protestant whore she was quite beautiful. Slowly, Integra folded down into the seat across from him.
"Well Maxwell," she asked in an icy tone. He smoothed out his face with a tender smile, his eyes crinkling at the corners. "Please Hellsing, let us just be civil this once, yes?" He lifted his hand, holding the chartreuse flowers across to her. The roses were just a shade darker than her hair. The corners of her mouth curled slightly as if in a smirk.
"Thank you Maxwell and she reached across to take the bouquet from him. Their gloved fingers touched, and he felt colour spot his cheeks as he attempted to laugh it off. The laugh, however, came off a little crazed, and Integra lifted a silver eyebrow in question.
With a cough, he looked down, turning his attention to the smooth china teacup in front of him. Enrico smoothed his fingers along the rough table. "Alright Maxwell, what do you want," Hellsing said with a sigh. He looked up at her. Light reflected off her glasses for a brief second, allowing Enrico to see himself. Self-consciously he smoothed his white blonde hair down from where it was trying to escape the elastic band holding it back.
"Can I not wish to apologize for earlier?" Integra gave him a look, and Enrico took a deep breath. In an effort to summon his courage, he took a sip of the scalding, bitter tea before him. He desperately wished that he could be dealing with an angry Anderson instead of the stony creature in front of him.
His brow furrowed in thought as he rethought what his mind had just wished for. Enrico questioned his sanity as he shook his head to be rid of the thoughts. He glanced up at Integra, who was looking at him as if he were going insane.
"Are you alright Maxwell?" Integra was watching him with wariness in her eyes, as if she expected him to sic Anderson on her yet again or to come across the table and beat her to death with the bouquet of yellow roses.
He grinned, his eyes closing in an overly exaggerated show of happiness, "But of course Sir Hellsing." He opened his eyes, the smile smoothing from his face. "On a serious note, I'd like to offer you a trade."
Integra's silver brows jumped halfway up her forehead, nearly touching her long hair. "And that would be…"
Taking a deep breath, Enrico took a calming sip of tea and replaced the cup on its saucer with trembling fingers. "I would like to know what it is you would wish in return," he stopped, his voice quivering in the air before his mouth. Integra lifted a brow, "…in return for?" He closed his mouth, swallowed hard and rushed out the rest of his sentence just like word vomit. "What will it take for you to go on a date with me, you Protestant sow?!"
Her lips fell apart in shock before curling up in a smirk. "You wish to take me out and yet, you call me a sow?" He blushed hard, feeling the colour heat his face. "It is merely habit; do not let it belie my feelings." He tried to glower at her and found it nearly impossible as she smiled at him in a cheery way.
"Well, that would you be willing to offer me Enrico," she purred softly, leaning on her folded elbows, bent toward him across the table. He tried to think of something that would be an adequate trade but couldn't keep his thoughts from Father Anderson, the loyal Paladin. "Anderson," he growled, his eyes narrowed as he tried to banish the man from his brain.
Hellsing smiled broadly, "You are willing to lend me your treasured monster hunter in return for a date?" Enrico felt his eyes widen, realizing that he had just sentenced his own death, either by Anderson or Sir Hellsing. But Integra stuck out her slender, gloved hand. "I will accept Anderson for five days, and in return give you three dates. Is that satisfactory?"
Enrico grasped her hand softly, curling his fingers about hers. "Of course my dear," he purred, shaking her hand. Integra smiled, "I believe this will be a win-win situation for both Hellsing and Iscariot." They released hands, picked up their thin china cups and touched the lips together in a toasting gesture. "Quite," he stated, smiling so hard it hurt his jaws.