A/N - This is just a short little fic detailing how Anakin feels about the Sith Code, which he has to record because of a previously unknown assignment from his Master. The books never go into detail about the Sith Code, but I think they should. So, this is just me musing about how Darth Vader/Anakin (after corruption, before battle of Mustafar), feels about the Sith Code.
Of Freedom
Peace is a concept. It's an idea.
As with all ideas it cannot be solidly defined.
Dig deep, dig deep, just a little bit further.
And you'll see just how deeply the real truths are aligned.
Some might argue that peace is contentment,
But yearning for that storybook ending will lead only to resentment.
Some might argue that peace is your right to have a choice,
But then the silence of the gray will eventually drown out your voice.
Some might argue a lot of things.
But I disagree. I disagree with all of them.
Freedom is nothing more than feeling
That you are in control.
Freedom is the will to experience,
An adventure from the dull.
Freedom is what you feel when you go against all expectations,
Or assumptions,
And in doing so,
Become more powerful than
Everyone else that you know.
All those other people are still trapped,
Within the realm of what is considered socially "acceptable."
These people fear the mavericks, as they should,
Because of something barely perceptible.
The fighters, who break free from the concept of peace,
Are the ones who truly live.
Darth Vader put his pen down, looking over what he had just written. Some parts are a little rough, but nothing too hideous... What am I thinking, I refuse to put my name on this garbage! And with that thought, Anakin crumpled up his poem into a ball using the force, and burned it too a crisp using a thin tendril of force lightning. He couldn't yet create actual lightning, but he could at least summon enough to burn a piece of paper.
Anakin was travelling to Mustafar, to kill the last of the Separatists. His Master had tasked him with both annihilating the traitors, and to record his thoughts about his new Code. Darth Sideous didn't specify how to record them, just that they be on paper, and thus, untraceable, thought Anakin. Since my rhyming skills are a little lacking in complexity, I think I'll try something else. Mildly enthusiastic, Anakin grabbed another piece of paper, ideas already forming in his head. Slowly but surely, he planned out his musings into something more structured, and then, he began to write.
"The feeling that nobody can punish you, that you are somehow above the law, is so intoxicating; it runs through your system like a drug. We call it adrenaline. If nothing matters, if you do not have to limit yourself for the benefit of others, then the world is limitless. All of the possibilities suddenly don't seem so far away. Your eyes open up, and in those few seconds, those few precious seconds, anything is possible. The elation, the emotion, the excitement that comes with those few seconds is the nectar of life. That is living, it is why we don't want to leave this earth and pass into the void. We remember those few seconds, those fleeting moments, where all life's concerns and miseries fade away, and all that is left, is freedom.
We weaken ourselves so much by the fact that we need to have acceptance. It is the natural order of things. The weak ones will simply follow what is the norm, to escape any responsibility or challenge of actually going out and trying something for themselves. They are afraid. Afraid to take the risk. Because, after all, what if it backfires on them? What if their fragile lives change in a way that they don't understand or don't think they can handle? The weak ones are the ones who find contentment in the tranquility of repetition, while the strong are the ones that find contentment only when they break free of the tranquility. Only when they can feel the fire if life. It is no coincidence that you feel stronger when you have someone you love standing by your side. You feel the fire then, the fire of emotion, of love. It is a more tempered flame usually, because there are other things happening at that moment then two people loving each other. Life is still there, along with its trivialities that serve to distract you from what matters. Only when they stare into each others eyes and the entire world falls away until it is just the two of them, does the true blaze come. That is life.
Honestly speaking, when are you the most aware of your surroundings? When do you feel the most alive? When do your veins pump liquid fire? When you are at work, being calm and effective, with a sense that eventually, someday, all of the work will pay off and you'll be better because of it? Or is it when you are in a fight, testing yourself in the most ancient and effective methods of gaining power? To fight, especially in physical battle, awakens your senses like nothing else. The feel of the hunt, the confrontation, awakens all of your emotions at once. Excitement over what is about to happen. Fear of your opponent, if you should lose. Determination that you will get over the fear, and that you will not let it impair you. The sense of injustice, of desperation, when your opponent gets the upper hand. The drive to beat them, to win. All of these emotions take over you, and the distractions of life fade away, until it is just the two of them. Enemies at that moment, but when the fight is over, one will be more powerful than the other. The order will be established, and life will continue.
This is also clear in verbal sparring, or debates. Whenever you are debating something, which is just a euphemism for a fight, then you feel your pulse quicken. You actually have a good time, because you get excited over the fight. Anger burns when someone makes a better point then you. After all, you are in the right. They are the wrong ones. Now you must try again, try harder. You come back at them with a more emotional argument, and you let your passion color your words, giving them strength. Haven't you noticed how all discussions or debates seem to escalate? It is because of this pattern. Someone wins, and the loser just comes back even harder in order to become the winner. Then they either win, or lose again, and then another round will take place, with the positions usually changed. Sure, a verbal battle is more "civilized" then a physical battle, but you still can feel the same fire, although it is more a flicker of flame than an actual inferno.
There is an opposite of the fire, as all extremes have. The opposite of fire is not ice, because even ice can burn. No, the opposite is nothingness. Plain gray hazes that choke out the fire and envelop your mind with the feeling of helplessness. Subconsciously, we know this, and understand that it will eventually lead to a fate worse than death. As a result, people develop routines to make themselves more effective, so they can get the job over with as quickly as possible. They're not quite sure what the job is. They just label it as a job, as something to be done and over with. What they are actually trying to do is hasten through life, but they don't realize that.
They don't realize that the troubles they are trying to distance themselves from aren't real. They are the ones that create the troubles, which they then try to run away from. In the process, all desire or memory of a life without running disappears. They forget the true reason they are working in the first place. They forget the power that comes with both hate and love. They forget everything that makes them alive. Their emotions are stuck in a permanent grey, a limbo, a pernicious area of uncertainty. People loose themselves in the haze that comes with daily routine. They eventually lose all enthusiasm and spontaneity, because they can no longer imagine anything else happening then what has been happening daily, over and over again.
Nobody is ever content with their situation in life, because in some unconscious level, they realize that something is wrong. That maybe the security of a mindless repetition isn't worth the slow draining of your spirit. This malcontent they take out on themselves, usually on their physical appearance or attributes. They think, or wish, that if they were prettier, smarter, faster, then maybe life wouldn't suck so badly. Then maybe "I'd be somebody. Maybe I'd be happy." But of course, they wake up in the morning to the obnoxious beams of sun pouring through their windows, realizing that they have another day of work, and no matter how pretty or smart they are they will still wake up to those harsh rays every morning.
They don't really want to do it, don't want to go. They just want to stay in bed all day and wish that they were something they could never be. But of course, they'll get up anyway. They are trapped. They are unable to do what they want to do, because following the pattern, following the rules, has been so deeply ingrained into them, that they no longer know anything else. They can no longer imagine what would happen if they just decided not to go into work. Not to get up at that moment, merely because they didn't want to. Most people view this situation, a single, middle aged humanoid with a stable job, as peace. "What is wrong with their lives?" right? They have perfect lives. No fights, no love, no anything to add drama to their life. And yet, do they seem peaceful to you? Do you consider that never-ending restlessness peace? Would you want that? It is not peace.
Peace is a lie. There is only passion.
Through passion, I gain strength.
Through strength, I gain power.
Through power, I gain victory.
Through victory, my chains are broken."
Anakin let the pen drop out of his hand, surprised at the emotions he had put into the paper. He sat back, pondering on whether or not to give something so deep to his Master. If he did, then the Master could have a possible weakness to use against him, but if he didn't, then he would be punished later for his disobedience. Maybe I can just write something else... thought Darth Vader. At that moment, however, the computer came on, alerting him that he was approaching the planet of Mustafar. Anakin knew that he didn't have enough time to write something else before he arrived, but he figured that he would just write something on the way back. Satisfied with his reasoning, Darth Vader once again burned the piece of paper using force lightning, glad that he was eliminating something that could come back to haunt him later on. Putting all thoughts of his writing assignment aside, Anakin focused all of his attention on the nav computer, making sure that he safely landed on the one platform on Mustafar, and not in a river of lava.
A predatory smirk came across his face as the ship landed on the platform, with a walkway leading into the building where the Separatists were gathered. His Master had given him two assignments, after all.
This one, he was more than happy to complete.
