X'Nedra's Story

disclaimer: the characters in this story belong to the original authors, David and Leigh Eddings. I just use the characters because the Eddings' Belgariad, Mallorean, Elenium and Tamuli shaped how I write. I can't express how much the characters they created have effected me and my world-view.

So, cheesy as it may seem, this fanfiction is dedicated to David and Leigh Eddings, my favorite authors and the ones who opened my mind to fantasy.

this story will be told mostly from X'Nedra's point of view. yes, X'Nedra; the Dryads use the 'x', and I want to be true to X'Nedra's heritage. Besides, X'Nedra always loved to be difficult . . . and X'Nedra is my boyfriend's nickname for me (well, one of them)

Chapter 1: I Remember When . . .

X'Nedra's pov

I remember the day it occurred to me that my husband and most likely my children would outlive me by eons.

Garion was snoring slightly, his arm around my waist as he dreamed the last few lazy dreams before he woke for the day. He would have a slight hangover from the previous night's celebrations, but it wouldn't stop him from doing as he'd been doing lately: studying.

I'm getting ahead of myself, I fear. I thought I'd mostly outgrown that trait, but apparently not. Last night was the Erastide feast. For our little family, Garion, Geran, Beldaran and me, the feast is about more than the midwinter holiday: it is also the day Garion was born, and the day his parents died so long ago. Perhaps not so long ago, for Garion.

The reason I know I won't live as long was staring me in the face, or snoring, as it were. I met Garion when we were fifteen and fell in love with him; at sixteen I raised an army to help him save the world, and married him. AN: I know I fudged the timeline a bit . . . but don't it flow so nice?

We had trouble conceiving, so I didn't have our son Geran until I was eighteen years old if I hadn't had him then, our own subjects, the Rivans, were going to have Garion put me aside in favor of one of those overly-fertile, blonde-braided Alorn cows. My cousin X'Antha showed up our sacred Dryad forest to help me remedy the situation. By that time every Alorn queen had traveled to the Isle of the Winds to add her two cents to the situation. My Uncle Varana was the one who finally convince my Dryad liege to send my cousin; he was doing quite well as the Emperor of Tolnedra, if you ask me. Everyone knows the story, and Geran was born. Then he was lost. Everyone knows the story. Then my beautiful Beldaran was born, and named for Polgara's beloved twin sister. Even Polgara had her own twins, sweet Garlan and Darion.

That was all so long ago. Geran is sixteen now, and Beldaran is blooming at thirteen; my Garion is truly Belgarion now, and I don't know where that leaves me. Belgarath has tested Geran and Beldaran, and he thinks they may have the Talent. Dryads are long-lived, but not immortal, and I'm only half-Dryad.

I am thirty-eight, and I will be old and gray before my children can even imagine it. Not that I feel incipient mortality poking me in the shoulder, but being half Dryad will only give me a few more decades over the human woman.

I wouldn't even be thinking about this if it weren't for Garion spending all his time in that dreadful tower of his he has set up, over in the east side of the Citadel. He's let Geran begin taking over some of the day to day running of the Isle so he can study the universe or something like that. He invites Geran or Beldaran to join him occasionally, but he never seems to ask me if I want to study with him.

Geran usually turns his father down, but Beldaran joins him frequently, when she isn't entertaining her various suitors. All the Alorn families have sent boys to meet her, but not many of the other kingdoms have sent suitors. Beldaran is going to be so beautiful; I wonder if I'll live to see her children, or who she marries.

I sighed and pushed Garion's shoulder. He rolled over and continued his snoring, but I knew it to be fake. He was trying to get a rise out of me, and it wasn't going to work this time. I pushed at his shoulder again, and he snored louder at me, tightening his hold on my waist.

"Fines," I said, smiling, "Then I'm too tired to do anything else this morning, too."

That got the desired response.

I was walking in the Citadel later that day, trying to lose my ladies-in-waiting – by the way, what exactly are they waiting for? no-one ever told me, and I've spent all my time in royal courts, yet never once figured out what they're waiting for – when I happened upon Beldaran in a dark corner with Kheva, the crown prince of Drasnia. I've been told that I have a somewhat shrill voice.

From that point on, both Beldaran and her little playmate knew just how piercing. I lectured them at length about propriety until Garion dragged himself down from his tower to see what the noise was. Geran stayed in the throne room, rather wisely because he was the one who romantically introduced the two young ones. Wolf, however, came bounding into the hall from the general region of the throne room; as Geran's gotten older, Wolf has taken to protecting Beldaran from her suitors rather than sit by Geran's feet all day, looking menacingly at the petitioners bothering the prince.

"Beldaran, this is completely unacceptable! You are a princess of Riva and the Tolnedran Empire! You can not be hiding in dark corners with anyone, not even a Crown Prince! As for you, Kheva, shouldn't you be at Boktor, learning from your mother and actually carrying out some of your duties instead of letting your mother do all the work!?" I was at full voice when I felt my voice leave me, fleeing to someplace behind me. I turned and found Garion standing behind me, his hand outstretched as he stared right back at me.

He took me voice from me! That bugger took my voice, and all he could do was look at me. He didn't even give me an apologetic look. He nodded at me and turned his attention to Beldaran and her playmate.

"Your mother is right, Beldaran. No more hiding out in dark corners, and you won't be seeing any of your suitors for a week. As for you, Kheva, you are on the first ship back to Boktor. Your mother will be missing you by now. And you two won't be seeing one another for a month. Off with you," Garion shooed the two young lovers off in different directions, where servants came out of the woodwork to make sure they each did what they were supposed to do.

I just looked at Garion, because I still couldn't speak. He motioned for me to follow him, and I couldn't refuse.

I was raging inside when Garion and I finally mounted those damn stairs that led to his tower study. He said something I couldn't here and the door opened for us. He ushered me inside and followed, saying something else so the door would close. Unbidden, tears flooded my eyes and I turned my face to the floor so he couldn't see them.

"Speak," Garion said gently. I felt my voice return to me, but suddenly I didn't want to be in the same room with my husband.

"Not right now," I sobbed, hiccupping the words out as I headed for the door.

The damn thing wouldn't budge for me, and I knew that Garion had something to say that wouldn't wait. I turned back to my husband and tapped my foot rather impatiently.

"Well? What is it, Garion? I haven't been humiliated enough by you taking my voice from me in front of my daughter? It is bad enough you'll all outlive me by thousands of years I can't even talk to or scold my own daughter?" I cried, leaning my back against the door, waiting for him to answer.

"X'Nedra, I'm sorry; I didn't think, and I just wanted to actually do some parenting in regards to Beldaran. And what makes you think that we'll all outlive you?" Garion came close to hold me, and I let him.

"You're a sorcerer. Belgarath himself said our children could hold the same Talent. I am half-Dryad, but even Dryads die."

Garion's pov

I never thought about that side of life, not when X'Nedra was around, with her coppery hair and silvery laugh, and that temper that could so quickly become passion if we were arguing in the bedroom. But now that she came out and said the words, there was no going back. We couldn't pretend not to see how I wasn't aging, and how quickly our children were resembling us, looking more like siblings than offspring.

"X'Nedra, Geran won't become a sorcerer. He prefers this world too much. And Beldaran adores Kheva she wouldn't leave him, not even for immortality. I don't know what else to say, except that we can start pulling back from our royal life, and go out and travel the world again, if you like. We could spend the coming spring and summer in Tol Borune and Tol Honeth, visiting Uncle Varana, if you want. We could make it into a grand tour, stopping in Mallorea to see Cyradis and Zakath, dipping into the Vale to visit with Grandfather and Grandmother and Aunt Pol and Durnik and their twins," I said, desperately wanting to make my lovely wife smile.

"I'm going to die tomorrow, Garion," X'Nedra said acidly. "I just will die before you do, and probably after our children. This is so much for me. Please, let me leave," X'Nedra pleaded.

I had to let her go. But I would be talking with Geran tonight, and contacting our friends across the Sea of the Winds about visiting. It is high time I stop studying the world and study my wife again. She really has changed.