Written By: Amy Yu

On: December 31, 2000

Duo's in the Kitchen

(And Disaster's in the air)

Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing (even though I wish I did). Gundam Wing owns me and the Sotsu Agency and Sunrise own everything the least bit Gundam Wing.

This fanfic was made possible in part by Enigma, who provided the idea for this fic.

Duo: Yeah. That baka was making the most disgusting goop ever and she actually claimed that it was mashed potatoes. Even I wouldn't eat that junk.

Wufei: Ha!! If Duo won't eat it, it must be really nasty stuff.

Quatre: Wufei!! That was mean.

Wufei: Maybe so, but it's true. Only the braindead would make "food" like that.

Duo: Yeah, it gives new meaning to the term 'dumb blonde'.

Quatre: I resent that remark. If you haven't realized yet, I'm blond. Trowa...he's making fun of me.

Trowa: ...

Duo: Well I said 'blonde', with an 'e', so technically, I'm only referring to the females.

Quatre: True...but she's not blonde, her hair's brown, so technically, you're still wrong.

Duo: Well...I...she...damn, I can't believe I lost in an argument with Quatre of all people.

Well, it was still disgusting. *Pout*

Heero: Hn. That gives me an idea. I can make some and give it to Relena and see how toxic the stuff really is.

Warning: Mild profanity (in Japanese), yaoi and extreme OOCness.

Content: Humour

You've been warned, so read at your own stupidity:

~*~*~*~

It was a beautiful day on Earth. The sun was shinning, the skies were clear and the birds were singing. The war was over and the Gundam pilots have finally settled into a relatively normal lifestyle. They had all decided to stay at one of Quatre's many mansions. They had all adjusted quite well and were enjoying their time away from the battlefield. All was well and all was peaceful when...

CRASH!!!!!!!!!!

At that, everyone immediately stopped doing...whatever they were doing and raced to the scene of the crime...or in this case, the kitchen. The scene that awaited them was truly frightening.

There was Duo, sprawled out on the floor covered in some unknown substance. The kitchen looked as if a mobile suit battle had just taken place inside it. Everything that was inside the cabinets was now all over the floor and all over Duo.

Duo looked up and smiled weakly as the others simultaneously sweatdropped.

Quatre looked around his once beautiful kitchen and frowned at the mess that it has become. "Duo, what happened?", he asked.

Duo squirmed at the glares that he was receiving from his fellow ex- pilots. "Well...I was cooking."

Heero stared at his goop covered koibito and muttered, "...or you were trying to make a sad attempt at cooking."

"Not like you can do any better." Duo retorted.

"Don't change the subject."

"You're no fun."

"That's not what you said last night in bed." Heero said with a satisfactory smirk.

At this, Quatre pulled a full body blush, Trowa's one visible eyebrow twitched and Wufei tried to suppress the nosebleed that threatened.

Realizing what he just did, Duo gave everyone his best I'm-a-poor- little-shinigami look in hopes that they would forgive him or in Wufei's case, in hopes that he won't kill him right there and then for ruining their peaceful afternoon.

"Duo, drop the puppy dog look, it's just making me want to strangle you more." Wufei said in a voice so cold that Heero would have been jealous, "What did you make anyway?"

Duo scrambled up of his spot on the floor and grabbed a big bowl of...something... and proudly showed the others the reason for the mass destruction of Quatre's kitchen.

The bowl was filled with a strange yellow-ish substance that somehow resembled mashed potatoes.

Grinning widely, Duo proclaimed, "Go ahead guys, try some. You'll love it...trust me..."

Quatre peered into the bowl and then turned to Trowa and whispered, "Why is it that I don't trust him when he said 'trust me'."

Trowa nodded in agreement, but realizing there was no way out of it, each pilot got a spoon and they simultaneously took a spoonful of the goop and ate it. Then they chewed and chewed and chewed some more.

"I think...I tasted paprika in this." Quatre said thoughtfully when he finally swallowed.

"I think...he put orange juice in this." Heero said as he swallowed right after.

"I think...there was some pepper too." Trowa told the others as he finished his mouthful.

"I think...I'm going to be sick." Wufei groaned as he finished too.

Duo looked on as his friends each began to turn a funny shade of green and then the four all fell unconscious.

"Hmm...Didn't see that coming. Maybe I didn't put in enough tobasco sauce...oh well." Duo shrugged and then decided to try to get the Maguanacs to eat his "mashed potatoes".

1 OWARI