A/N – This isn't a prequel or a sequel, but a companion piece to my current fic – It's a Numbers Game. Fits somewhere between Chapter 1 and 2. Chapter 3 bugged me a little bit after I published it because it was pretty one-sided, showing only Nadia's POV, and kind of making Doyle seem like a jerk, like the break up was all his fault.
This doesn't really belong in Chapter 4 either because I thought it would stall the plot, so I decided to do it as a one shot. Answers the question why Doyle stayed silent when Nadia told him that she missed him, among other things.
Disclaimer: Characters are owned by 24
Why Conversations are Overrated
Talking. Why was it necessary again? It wasn't really his strong suit. That's why he was in Field Ops. There was minimal talk during field assignments. His team preferred to communicate using hand signals and codes. Unlike the polite doublespeak of CTU office politics, the codes were clear, concise and well-understood. All one had to do was read the Field Ops instruction manual. No one cared a hoot about the tone that they were said in. No one felt offended that they were barked out in rapid succession, sometimes with expletives added.
In a courtship, talking meant filling awkward moments together with even more awkward dialog. For instance:
"You did it when it counted." Right. That was incredibly romantic.
"You're doing a good job." Watch out. She's falling for you now. Fast.
It's a wonder they even got together after that.
In a relationship, talking about the present only led to arguments. Words got twisted and fights ensued.
Talking about the past was like stirring up a hornet's nest. It led to questions and answering them only led to more talking and inevitably more fighting. It was a vicious circle. Why not let sleeping dogs lie.
Talking about the future was even more futile. Who could tell what other roadblocks would come up preventing him from joining her in New York. Raising her hopes and not coming through would only lead to further disappointment. That's why he preferred to keep quiet about the future. At least until he had something concrete to tell her.
In a long distance relationship, talking (euphemism for arguing) on the phone meant not being able to kiss and make up immediately after such fights. It amplified the distance and let wounds fester. It frustrated him to no end.
What was the point of making up another excuse for missing yet another trip to see her when there really was only one reason. His job. She was in the business. Things come up last minute. She should know this by now.
Unfortunately, she didn't share that point of view.
Why was it so important for women to talk about their feelings. Even worse, have men talk about their feelings. It wasn't comfortable. Men were just not programmed to do that.
He didn't need words to know what she meant, how she felt, or even that she was in danger.
He concluded that they were happiest when they didn't talk.
Him sipping a cup of coffee, and her licking the back of the spoon he used to stir in the sugar, even though she hated the taste of black coffee.
Him stroking her hair while watching tv, and her resting her head on his lap while reading a book, even though she didn't get enough light this way.
Him shaving in front of the mirror, and her borrowing his brush as she dried her hair, even though she inevitably left long strands of dark hair tangled in it.
She shouldn't need words to know that he missed her.
He missed arguing with her then being able to shut her up with a kiss.
He missed kissing the back of her neck and feeling goose bumps all over her body.
He missed running his hands over her body knowing they would both get a good night's sleep after.
He missed hovering over her early in the morning and waiting for her first yawn awake.
There was no denying he missed her. It was just unsaid and he preferred to leave it that way.
A/N – What can I say, I hope that answered why Doyle is so uncommunicative ;) Please let me know if Doyle's redeemed himself...