This is a TDI one-shot featuring Ezekiel, Cody, Heather & Noah. Inspired by an episode of the British comedy series "Black Books". It takes place three years after the last season of Total Drama.
Heather, Cody, Ezekiel and Noah all sat in a cab driving thru a big city. They had all been to yet another big celebrity party and all of them were pretty drunk. After the last Total Drama series all contenders had become B-list celebrities that dragged their way thru one aria of the entertainment industry to the other with limited success.
Heather had hosted several TV specials (including being judge at Canadian Idol). The mean girl persona had bought her a lot of attention both on TV & in the teen magazines. Cody was one of the few people from the show she kept contact with and thru him she had started converse with Noah & Ezekiel.
Cody had been a part of the band The Drama Brothers for years. It had not been a very successful boy band. It had gone thru several rosters but the most they got was gigs at clubs and the occasional talk shows. Still, Cody had played it smart and invested his earnings in bank accounts so he was set. Right now he tried to get into to engineering business. His rich dad had offered him a job at the family company but Cody refused. He thought it felt like cheating.
Noah had been given some acting jobs at various TV stations. Producers said he had a certain charisma that TV junkies loved to watch. Noah quickly got bored with it and instead tried to get into writing & editing but nobody wanted hired him.
"Hey anyone up for continuing the party back at my place?" Cody proposed.
"Yah let's do that" Heather excitedly exclaimed.
"Yay" Noah & Ezekiel said sarcastically.
Ezekiel would usually be more enthusiastic to hang with his friends but this had not been a good night for him. Since the last season he had gone thru intensive therapy. The show had made him insane & feral and it took him years of physical & psychological therapy to get over it. The only person that had visited him (more than his parents) was Cody. He didn't know why thou. They had talked a bit with each other on Playa des Losers and a bit on the bus trip to season three but he had never considered him a friend. Despite that a very close bond had grown between the homeschooler and the tech geek. They had similar interests & Cody was very compliant whenever he needed company. Ezekiel had no career within the entertainment industry unlike most but he had been asked in for various talk shows. A few weeks ago Cody had reintroduced Beth to him and he had misinterpreted her friendly banter as them having a connection. He had tried to get with her during the party but it had failed.
The cab stopped outside of Cody's hotel. Cody paid the cab driver and the four teens walked out of the car, all caring a bottle of different kinds of liquor. They got into Cody's room. It was a pretty big room. It had two sofas, two stools at a small table. There were also a small bathroom and a bedroom.
Noah took a sip of his drink and it tasted awful and spit it out in a plant jar.
"What is this stuff?" Noah asked and looked at the label that said Green Mint Whiskey. He sighed and lay down on one of the couches. Heather laid down on the other, putting her harm over her forehead while holding her bottle in the other.
Cody tried to think of something they could do. He obviously didn't have a plan when he proposed they should hang out. "Does anyone want to play some poker?"
Ezekiel sat down in one of the chairs and opened his bottle. "I don't want to do anything but drink until I can't feel my legs and then curl up in a hole. Nobody is sleeping in your bathtub tonight eh?
Cody put his hand on the homeschoolers shoulder and gave an encouraging smile. "Oh, come on Zeke, sure things didn't turn out as you hoped with Beth but at least you tried. That's something to be proud off right?"
"It was pathetic" Heather proclaimed out of the blue. Cody & Zeke turned to her.
"When you first meet her all you talked about was your shock therapy and later when you got drunk you bothered her by constantly apologizing for your sexist comment in season one" Heather explained while counting of Ezekiel's mistakes on her fingers.
"Hey, I still feel really bad about that eh" Ezekiel said.
"Well girls don't like apologetic crybabies. Most girls like confident strong men. I hate to say it but you were probably better of looking like golem. At least you could have gotten some Tolkien fan-girl to fall for you." Heather said nonchalantly.
"Hey, that was mean Heather. Maybe you should apologize" Cody spoke up.
"I just call them as I see them" Heather responded.
Ezekiel rose up from the chair, with an intense glare directed at Heather.
"You always have some excuse don't you Heather. I am just playing the game, I just take revenge, I just call them as I see them".
Ezekiel walked towards her, hobbling after drinking so much.
"Why don't you just admit that you like to hurt people eh"? Ezekiel asked.
Heather retained her cool. "Does it look like I am enjoying myself right now"? She asked coldly.
Ezekiel leaned closer to her face as if he was shortsighted. When he confirmed that she was frowning he responded "No" and walked backed to his chair.
"Sometimes I take pride in my accomplishments but I never really liked hurting people. It's just something I feel like I have to do" Heather said melodramatic.
"Why don't you try to me nice?" Cody asked looking sympathetic.
"I really don't know if I can do that". Heather looked up at Cody. She then sat up and wrapped her arms around her knees.
"Listen, I know that my personality is unlike bull but it is what works for me, it what comes natural to me. Being nice just wouldn't work for me".
Cody rubbed his neck. "Yah, it doesn't work much for me ether".
Heather gave him an intense look of anger. "Do you know what Cody, you don't know how good you have it" Heather shouted in a mix of anger & sorrow before lying back down on the couch with her back turned towards the others.
There was a pregnant pause after Heather's outrage.
"She does have a point eh" Ezekiel finally spoke.
Cody looked at his friend somewhat puzzled. "What do you mean Zeke"?
"Just look around you. You have a big hotel room for rent that ether you or your dad has paid for eh. Right now you have three friends here, two of which wouldn't be caught dead with most people. You were the smartest contender on Total Drama Island".
"Hey" Noah interrupted.
"Sorry Noah. Second smartest" Ezekiel corrected. "And more than us everyone wants you as a friend, Gwen, Lindsey, Harold, Trent, Tyller, Cameron, Owen, Zoey, Mike, Dawn, Sam and Beth, Oh Beth". Ezekiel sighed and sat back down in his chair. "I am a bit jealous of you Cody. I think Beth you like me better than me and you already have Sierra after you".
Cody looked down struck. He had no idea his friend hide so much jealousy from him, he also felt a bit ashamed for saying what he said.
"I am sorry Zeke, I didn't know and just as you know I count my lucky stars every night for all the friends and the privileges I got, including you" Cody finished and clapped Ezekiel on the back. Zeke gave him a smile.
"Are you two gonna kiss? Cause then I will need a bucket" Noah commented nonchalantly but the rest didn't seem to notice.
"I'm sorry too Cody I didn't mean to take out my bad luck on you eh" Ezekiel said.
"It's just that I am 20 years old eh. What do I have to show for it? I have poor social skills, no girlfriend, three years in a cuckoo's nest, a home school education I can do nothing with and the most embarrassing TV career ever".
"And that says a lot" Noah teased.
Heather gave out a laud sigh and stood up. "You know what you guys problem is? You two are pathetic and not for the reason you think you are. You are pathetic because you put yourselves down. I want you to straighten your backs and repeat after me".
Heather sighed as she gathered her dizzy thoughts.
"My name is…"
The two boys followed her command. "My name is…"
Heather raised an eyebrow at them.
"Oh my name is Cody".
"Um, Zeke".
"I am smart, nice and proud" Heather continued.
"I am smart, nice & proud" Cody & Ezekiel said in unison.
"And no matter what I do in my future I will do it with my head held high".
"And no matter what I do in my future I will do it with my head held high" Cody & Ezekiel said with heightened enthusiasm. Heather fell back on the sofa looking completely exhausted (emotionally she probably was). Ezekiel sat back down in his chair.
"That was a strange gesture considering you called them pathetic just a minute ago" Noah pointed out.
"Well, they should know better than to listen to me" Heather responded.
Ezekiel turned his head towards the cynic. "And what about you Noah"?
Noah gave the homeschooler a questioning expression.
Ezekiel started to walk towards Noah. He didn't look angry, he looked cocky (probably brought about by Heather's words & Noah's annoying comments).
"Why don't you ever make an effort to make a connection with anyone"? Ezekiel said. His balance sense was compromised by the alcohol and he tripped, landing on his stomach.
Noah looked down pitiful at Ezekiel.
Ezekiel looked up at him. "That sort of things are beneath you isn't it? You don't even consider yourself a human being are you eh? You are some sort of superior species, Homo Noahcus".
Noah got an expression of annoyance.
"You know I don't think I ever seen you with a girlfriend". Cody proclaimed.
"Maybe he is gay" Heather said teasingly. It was fun to tease Noah since he himself was so good at it.
Noah stood up and walked over to one of the chairs. Sitting down, he was facing the others. "I am not gay and it's not beneath me. I just don't have a romantic bone in me" Noah shrugged.
Ezekiel used his arms to push himself of the floor. He leaned against the table. "Then why are almost all of your fanfics romances eh"? Ezekiel asked.
"You 'we read my fanfics?" Noah questioned, looking surprised.
"I didn't know you wrote fanfics" Cody exclaimed.
"What are fanfics?" Heather asked.
"Um, it's a nerd thing, you don't need to know" Cody responded before he turned back to Noah.
"So I write pairings, big deal. I simple like to mix" Noah said defensively.
"Oh really well take a look at this" Ezekiel said and opened his backpack. Eager to put Noah in his place. He took out a big pile of papers.
"Okay listen" Ezekiel said and cleared his throat. "Love in the Dark Empire, a Star Wars story by HobbitJedi9 aka Noah".
Noah rushed up from the chair and tried to grab the papers. "Give me that Zeke"!
Ezekiel continued to read. "Luke & Mara felt helpless in the void Nihilus created. They clung close to each other and in that moment they felt a power stronger than the force, they felt lo…" Ezekiel didn't get to finish since Noah grabbed the papers. He looked angry at the homeschooler.
He noticed that all of them looked questioning at him. "Sigh, Okay so maybe I have some desire for romance. Are you happy now or do I have to write some poetry?"
"So why haven't you asked anyone out yet"? Cody asked, sounding as unimposing as possible.
"Maybe I haven't found the right one" Noah responded irritated.
"O please, you were a hormone filled teenager stuck on an island with thinly dressed women an entire summer. The idea that you weren't infatuated with any of them is statistically improbable" Heather argued, trying to emulate him.
Cody & Ezekiel narrowed their eyes at the cynic. Noah felt nervous and he knew he needed to respond soon to Heather's argument. He hung his head in defeat.
"I have been in love with several girls".
"Really, which ones"? Ezekiel asked.
Noah gulped and spoke as rapidly as he could. "Bridgett, Eva, Gwen, Izzy, Zoey, Dawn, Jo". Noah sighed and slammed his forehead on the table. "And that's only the girls you know" he added.
"Wow" Cody exclaimed.
"So why haven't you asked anyone out eh"? Ezekiel asked.
Forgetting the horrible taste for a second Noah took a sip from his bottle, feeling he needed some courage. His distaste for the drink was evident by his retracting face.
"Cause I don't know what I would do? Noah admitted. "If they said no I think I would be devastated, if they said yes I don't know what we could do. Go on dates? I hate dates, I hate anything physical or social. Any girl that gets stuck with me would get miserable".
There was a short moment of silence. Ezekiel felt bad for the cynic and even worse for being the one that put him in this position. The homeschooler put his beet liquor on the table. "Here you can have mine. I mean it, the entire bottle".
Noah looked discontent at the red bottle. He had been drinking least of all of them and was now getting into that stage where he realized how drunk he was. He felt a burning sensation in his throat and a headache that was starting to take form.
"Nah, I don't want any more liquor. Do you have any coffee Cody"?
"No, sorry but there's soda in the fridge" Cody responded.
Noah opened the fridge and took out a soda can before going to the couch. He nonchalantly fell down on the couch before opening the can.
The cynic gave Ezekiel a distrusting stare. "So did you bring that along just to humiliate me"?
That question had been on Cody's & Heather's minds too. It was very uncharacteristic of Ezekiel to put any effort into making others feel bad (unless it was Chris).
"No man, I started reading it yesterday and I knew I wouldn't be able to finish it so I printed it so I could read it on my way to the party" Ezekiel explained.
"So you read my fanfics often"? Noah asked somewhat shyly.
Ezekiel just smiled & nodded.
"So what do you think of them" Noah asked tensed.
"I really like em eh. You have a great style, especially that 20 chapter Star Trek story you wrote" Ezekiel answered with enthusiasm & ardour.
A small smile grew on Noah's face and he turned to his soda. "Thanks Zeke. You know a lot of my fanfics are based on my manuscripts that get rejected by the media-companies" Noah sighed. "At least someone likes my crap".
There was a moment of silence when none of the four teens said anything. Sometimes they glanced at each other but mostly they looked the other way. The awkward atmosphere didn't go unnoticed by anyone.
Cody had not expected this when he suggested they would come here. He thought at the very least they would drink the rest of their drinks, play some game and chat, he didn't expect such an emotional confessional from everyone.
He yawned and stretched his arms. "I think am gonna get some shun eye but don't let me sleep to long, okay" the tech geek exclaimed and headed for the small bedroom. "You can crash here if you want to, I don't mind".
"Sleep tight Cody" Heather cry to him.
There was another silent moment but now the three remaining teens looked at each other.
"You know what? I am gonna call Beth and apologize for anything embarrassing I did while I was drunk eh" Ezekiel proclaimed and took up his cell phone.
"Sigh, Zeke I was with you the entire party and trust me, you did nothing inappropriate" Heather said.
"I know but don't tell me that, otherwise I don't have an excuse to call her" the homeschooler responded and walked into the bathroom for some privacy.
"And so there were two" Noah commented.
Heather sighed. "Noah, can I ask you a personal question?
"Shoot from the hip".
Heather tilted her head back a bit. "Have you ever had a crush on me"?
Noah smirked arrogantly. "Why would I"?
"Well among the girls you mentioned there was no mention of Lindsey, Dakota or Anne Maria who are pretty hot but not as smart or as though as the ones you brought up".
"Who is it now that is sending out the gay vibes" Noah interjected jokingly.
"…And I am tough and smart to a fault" Heather finished her argument.
"I think you think to highly of yourself" the cynic responded.
Heather put her hands behind her head. "I am serious Noah. Have you ever thought about us as an item"?
Noah smiled and walked over to her. He sat down on the floor with his back leaned against the sofa. He took a sip of his soda.
"To be honest queen bee I have been infatuated with you once and I even thought about how it would go down if you said yes".
"So why wouldn't it work?" Heather asked, predicting how this conversation would go.
"We are too similar. What if one of us got sad? Neither of us would be able to comfort the other. The only thing we would do is sign impersonal antidotes and shrug" Noah said with hidden frustration.
Heather understood Noah's argument well and sighs. "I know what you mean. We don't care enough about other people".
"I wouldn't agree with that" Noah responded untouched. "I think we care about people we just…do it more objectively" he argued.
"I don't follow" Heather said.
Noah took a moment to think about a good explanation for his claim.
"We read & react on people's emotions but we don't let them influence us" he said, hoping to be coherent.
Heather chuckled a bit. "So we are not psychopaths, we are, what? Observopaths"?
Noah was amused by Heathers insightful little joke and jerked a finger at her. "Hmm, Observopaths that's a good one. Send it to the dictionary publisher".
He took a big gulp of his soda. "Besides, you are infatuated with Cody".
Heather's eyes widen in surprise and sat up. "What? I am not in love with that dweeb" she angrily proclaimed.
Noah raised an unconvinced eyebrow at the queen bee.
Heather shot Noah an angry glare. "What makes you think that"?
Noah got a smug smile when he realized he provoked a reaction. "First of all you always seem happy when you are around him".
Heather rolled her eyes. "That doesn't mean anything".
"Second, you got frustrated when he put himself down as if you had higher expectations of him and that little speech of yours seemed more directed towards him than to Zeke". Noah nodded to her, still with that irritating smile of his. "Third, that entire line "I am not in love with that dweeb" sounded so tacky, like if you had practiced it in front of the mirror or something" the cynic finished with a victory smirk.
"You don't know what you are talking about" Heather snipped at him.
"OOO nice comeback, next you will say "It isn't what it looks like" Noah responded sarcastically.
Heather's anger got more intense. "Listen nerd, I am not in love with Cody"!
Noah looked at his soda can and poked at it with his finger to determine how much was left in it. "Yah, you are probably right. I just thought that since I predicted you and Al would eventually get together aaand your unavoidable break up that I thought I understood you." Noah's voice was inoffensive but definitely had a feeling of dishonesty.
He stood up and walked towards the exit. "Tell Cody when he wakes up that I appreciate his offer but that I' we gone to my place. See ya". Noah waved a hand at her before walking out the door.
"And then there was one" Heather sighed.
She was all alone now in the room. She curled up her legs in her arms and leaned her head towards them. Noah's argument had left a shiver in her body. He was right, he did understand her (way too well).
She drank what was left of her beverage and walked to the bathroom to check on the homeschooler. The door was unlocked and lights sipped thru the cracks so she decided to just go in.
Ezekiel was sleeping in the bathtub. As feral he had been sleeping on rocks & metal floors so in comparison the hotel's bathtub was cozy. A drop from the shower tap landed between his eyes and he flinched. Heather put two fingers on his hat and pushed it down his face. The next drop that hit him didn't bother him.
Heather's motivation for her seemingly kind act for the homeschooler was that she didn't want him bothering her. She walked to the bedroom. She took a deep breath before opening the door. She saw Cody sleeping with his back facing the door. The white bed seemed pretty large for being a single, although that could be because of Cody's small proportions. She leaned at the frame and gave it a few hard knocks with her knuckles.
Cody quickly woke up and looked at her. "Heather, is something the matter"?
Heather sighed. "Noah went home and Zeke fell to sleep in the bathtub" She paused a bit before continuing. "Is it okay if I sleep in here? I don't wanna be alone".
Cody was a bit confused over her request. Usually when Heather wanted something she would play all defenseless & innocent but she sounded very demanding, as if something bothered her. "You want us to sleep in the same bed"? Cody asked puzzled.
"Don't worry, I trust you" Heather responded, sounding more casual.
"Well I guess that's okay" Cody said and pulled back a bit of the blanket. Heather climbed into the bed and rolled the sheet over her.
Heather lay there a few minutes frowning. What had she expected to happen here? That something romantic would happen?
She rolled over and was surprise to se Cody looking right at her. She could see both longing and insecurity in his face.
"Heather, do you think were just drunk or…" Cody couldn't finish his sentence. He was too afraid to say the words.
Heather felt closer to the tech geek than ever but for some reason the fear of being alone (that never bothered before) suddenly felt stronger.
Heather wrapped an arm around his shoulder and slowly pushed herself closer. She buried her face into his chest and closed her eyes.
"Just shut up and sleep idiot".
Okay, I will admit that this didn't turn out quite as I thought it would. I was too eager to get to the emotional stuff and forgot to involve more humor. I am a little bit uncertain about the passing but have no idea how to fix it. Still, I hoped you guys like it and I welcome all kinds of comments & criticisms.
Thanks to all that support my work.