A/N: Hey! This is a Taiora oneshot. It's my first Digimon fanfic on this site, but don't worry, it won't be horrible, I've written stuff before, just not put it up here. It's a songfic to Miley Cyrus's "Don't Wanna Be Torn" which is weird for me because usually I don't like Miley Cyrus all that much, but I do love this song. You should listen to it! And Sora's a bit OOC. It's a matter of opnion whether or not Tai is. I din't really think he's out of character, I think he's just showing much more of his mature side. Okay. Sorry for any mistakes. Here goes.
Disclaimer: Pssh, please. If I owned Digimon, there wouldn't be a Sorato to speak of.
Tai was walking away from me.
It was raining and the wind was rushing past, as if trying to get away from the horrible scene laid before my eyes.
Tai was walking away from me.
It was the only thing that could have turned the sky so gray so quickly; he wasn't supposed to do that. He was supposed to stay in my life forever. But he had turned his back on me.
Somewhere deep inside, I knew it was my fault. For thinking I could have both of them - that I should have both of them.
I had tried to kiss Tai. I was going out with Matt.
It wasn't that I didn't love Matt. I just loved Tai too. I loved them equally. So why shouldn't I have both of them?
I thought it could be like the movies. The girl would have a secret relationship with one guy, and a public relationship with the other, getting all of what she wanted.
We were there on the open, grassy hills by the highway. There was not a car nor building in sight, though. Tai and I walked here a lot to think. It was our spot. When I had leaned in to kiss him, I wasn't expecting him to lean away.
"What are you doing?" he had asked.
"I'm kissing you," I answered. He was completely against it.
"What about Matt?" he asked heatedly. Why was he getting angry?
"Matt's…I love him, but he's just…not enough for me."
Tai raised his eyebrows and then laughed a cold, humorless laugh. "If Matt's not enough for you, no one is. He's the ideal boyfriend; he gives you everything you want, material or not."
"But…" I tried to counter.
"But nothing," he said, "you know I'm right."
Maybe it's the things I say,
Maybe I should think before I speak.
But I thought that I knew enough,
To know myself and do what's right for me.
"I love you, though," I said.
"Exactly!" he yelled. Tai was getting mad at me now. "Me and Matt both. But you think you can have both of us! So you tried to kiss me! It's disgusting. You know I love you too. How could you not? And you just use it to your advantage, to get what you want! You think you can have everybody you want, all at the same time! That's not how this world works, Sora!"
Actually, I hadn't known that. I hadn't known that he loved me.
"What are you saying?" I asked desperately. "You've always been there for me."
"I know," Tai responded. "Looks like that was a mistake. I've done all your feeling for you, ever since we were kids. You need to grow up some more."
With that, Tai had turned, and walked away.
Now, as I watched his retreating back in a stupor, I noticed he wasn't going the right way. Our apartment building is the opposite direction. The way he was walking was the road to…nowhere in a long time.
"You're going the wrong way!" I shouted, the sudden raindrops accompanying the tears in dripping down my face.
"No, I'm not," he replied loudly, not turning back.
I realized what he meant. He wasn't going home. He was running away.
"What about school?" I asked.
"I've learned enough," he answered. I could barely hear him.
"What do I do?"
It was a miracle that he had heard me through the distance and my choked voice. "Whatever you feel is right. Listen to your heart. You'll be okay."
"How do I do that?" I coughed out.
He whipped around. "Sora, it's so easy!"
"Well, I fail to understand."
"I always do what my heart is telling me. Don't you?"
I ignored his question and answered with my own. "So, your heart is telling you to walk away from this right now?"
"Yeah, it is." He shifted again, and walked into the distance.
When he was out of sight, when he had melded with the pitiful gray horizon, I fell back into the untamed grass, which was slightly taller than it should be. Tai had really left me.
Time went on.
Why does time go on? When that one, important person is missing from your life, time should not be going on.
I had closed myself off from the rest of humanity. Given up on life.
But there was always that one question that followed me relentlessly. What do I do?
Mrs. Kamiya and Kari were extremely bothered by Tai's disappearance. It had been a whole year now. I never told them I had anything to do with it. Kari had told me one day that they had received a letter in the mail a week after he left. It had been from Tai, saying that he was alright, and had chosen to leave home. It was so like Tai, doing that. He could never leave his family deserted.
But I was deserted.
And these walls I'm building' now,
You used to bring them down.
And the tears I'm crying out,
You used to wipe away.
Tai was right. He had always done my living for me, sheltered me from the scary emotions that would have encompassed me, had he not been there to shield me.
I had broken up with Matt. I loved Tai. I could see that now. But there was nothing I could do about it. Even if I knew where he had gone, I could not force myself to act. I was stuck in this depression. What do I do?
I thought you said it was easy.
Listening to your heart.
I thought you said I'd be okay,
So why'm I breakin' apart?
Don't wanna be torn,
Don't wanna be torn.
How was I supposed to deal with this? My heart was torn, and I didn't happen to know how to sew.
Don't wanna be torn,
Don't wanna be torn.
I needed Tai back right now. He thought I needed to grow up. So I did that. I understood, no matter how reluctantly, that this could only be done without him there to protect me from life. He was right to leave.
Don't make me have to choose between
What I want, and what you think I need.
When we were younger, before I had fallen for Tai, and he had fallen for me, we used to wish we were related. So he would try to act like my brother. It sounds stupid, but he would call me his "little girl", kind of like a dad, but more in a brotherly way. And ever since then, I've been his little girl. It was my permanent nickname.
And I'll always be your little girl,
But even little girls have got to dream.
I had joined the battle for maturity. I began to wrestle my old self down, shoving her away in my depths. No more selfish Sora. I needed Tai back.
Now it all feels like a fight.
You were always on my side.
And the lonely I feel now,
You used to make it go away.
I thought back to some of Tai's parting words.
"It's so easy, Sora!"
For him. But I knew eventually, it would become easier. It was all part of the journey to find myself.
I thought you said it was easy,
Listening to your heart.
I thought you said I'd be okay,
So why'm I breakin' apart?
Don't wanna be torn.
Why is all this
So confusing,
Complicated, and consuming?
Why does all this make me angry?
I wanna go back to being happy!
Today was the day. A year and half later, I was going to find Tai. I had grown up, just like he asked. I was going to be with him again. But this time, I would really be with him.
I thought you said it was easy.
Listening to your heart.
I thought you said I'd be okay,
So why'm I breakin' apart?
Don't wanna be torn.
Don't wanna be torn.
I walked to our spot by the empty highway in the yellow-green grass on a Sunday. It was then that I noticed the unfamiliar bend of the grass. It had been shaped specifically into a curvy line…it was an 'S'. Capital.
Don't wanna be torn,
Don't wanna be torn.
I widened my gaze. The grass was bent, pushed down to form letters in the grass.
Sora.
Don't wanna be torn,
Don't wanna be torn.
My heart was in my throat. I was so close. He had been here. The letters hadn't been formed to long ago.
My tears of anticipation, sadness, excitement, joy, overwhelming, and etc spilled into the grass.
"Shh…shh now," I looked up and beamed. He was here.
He was here.
Tai was here now, and it was going to be alright. Everything.
"Why are you crying?" he asked innocently.
"Because I love you so much," I answered, taking on his same tone of voice.
Then I ran at him, threw my arms around his neck, and kissed him.
He didn't protest.
"How are you here? How did you know?" I launched my thoughts at Tai.
"I didn't. I come here every Sunday, waiting for you."
"Since a year and a half ago?" I inquired, tears rolling over my cheeks.
"Ever since," Tai responded. "Why are you still crying?"
"I'm just tired. All that growing up made me really, really tired."
Don't wanna be torn.
Don't wanna be torn.
I wouldn't be torn anymore.
A/N: So, how did you like it? please REVIEW! It's always very helpful and never goes unappreciated. It was a little hard for me to adjust some parts of the song to fit the circumstances, like the whole little girl part, because I think the song was originally written for her mom or dad, but I made it work. Or tried to. Thanks!