ANIMAL CROSSING FIC: WORLD CROSSING! Disclaimer: This authoress does not own Animal Crossing, 8-bit Theater, or YuYuHakusho. Infact, she doesn't own much of anything. Poor her, huh? Authoress' Notes: Oh, okay. So I'm writing a fic about AC. Yeah, I know that I'm a looser, but still. I was thinking about this and didn't know what to do so it's gonna come just off the top of my head. Thought I'd warn you. Character Notes: The human charas used Ran-chan, Norin, Natashia, and Ass are real players of the game, and they hail from the towns of "Hell", "Trithone", and "Asshole" in their actual games. They belong to myself, my boyfriend, my little sister, and little brother. Please, don't take our charas or ideas, we won't appreciate it much. Or at all. The charas Kurama, Kuwabara, Hiei, and Yusuke are from YuYuHakusho and we do not own them. B.Mage, RedMage, Fighter, and Theif belong to Square, but these ones are taken from 8-bit theater (the Webcomics) and belong to Clevenger-san. So, that's that. Hell's Townspeople: Freya, Ava, Egbert, Leigh, Butch, Lily, Billy, Tutu, Hugh, Tybalt, Rizzo, and Islander Flossie. I don't know Trithone's or Asshole's population, since those are on other memory cards I don't have with me. So, I'll make the story take place in my town, which I called Hell!!!! Story One: ...needs a title! In the nice town of Hell, Ran-chan was sitting in her house. She had finally gotten a two story house with a basement and still had lots to pay on it before her entire debt was gone. Of course, it would take a while. She was chillin', reading her letters from whoever sent them. "This is crap," Ran-chan said angrily. "I need something to do." she threw her letters over onto her exotic desk, while sitting in her exotic chair. She got up, and walked outside, seeing her favorite person in the world, Norin. Norin, a male human with green horns wearing a Zelda pattern that he scanned in on his E-reader, was drawing a picture on the notice board. "That'll show 'em!" he laughed as Ran-chan tackled him from behind. "Hey, Ran-chan, what are you doing?!" "I love you, too!" she said with a smile. "What are you doing in Hell anyway?" she asked after a moment of glomping him tightly. "You came in from Trithone to see me?!" Norin was shocked and completely out of breath. "Hold on. I moved here yesterday because Trithone was full of dumbasses. Check out my picture up there." He pointed to see a really bad anime style attempt at drawing Tom Nook being chased by many, many angry townsfolk, over tax increase for him to buy a new TV station and only play advertisements. "See, Nookers always was crooked in his ways and I decided since you had two empty houses I could move here." "...how are we both here at the same time?" Ran-chan asked. "This is weird." "Now that you mention it, yeah, it kinda is." Norin replied. "Well, let's go and meet the townspeople!" He said, picking both himself and Ran-chan off the ground. They shrugged off the fact that it was weird and simply ran with it. "Do you have a map?" "Do I have a map? Ha! Uhh, no." Ran-chan shook her head, pointing in a random direction. "Let's go that way..." At that moment, Ass walked out of another house. "Sis! Where is Nook's store at?" he asked, scratching his behind. His look was sleepy and his horns were blue, wearing a flame shirt. "I moved here because Resetti pissed me off. He was always talking because I was too lazy and wanted to cheat that I got all the regal, classic, and space decoration sets all in one day so I ditched Asshole and came 'ere because there is no trouble!" He didn't care about anything, it looked like to the lovers who were trying to escape. "Ya know, Hell's all peaceful and shit like that!" "Ass!" Ran-chan scolded. "Why did you even call yourself that?" "Yeah, why can't anyone go by their real name in video games anymore?!" asked Natashia whom was sitting in her house with her window open. Her hair was bright pink, and her eyes swayed to the side all the time. "Because I DO." She was wearing a twinkle shirt. "I'm bored." Ran-chan was furious. She started a game to have a decent town, to make it into the model town that she knew she could make... but with a distraction and siblings... would Hell actually become a living Hell because she didn't concentrate upon her tasks? Tortimer actually named her one of the best people in Hell, and now... with this! Instead she just smiled and nodded. "Whatever. I'm taking my Norin to meet the townsfolk. You two go and do something, just don't ruin my town. Or I'll be pissed." Ass and Natashia knew exactly what that was to mean. They had to do whatever they could to ruin things in Hell. Just because their older sister said not to, it had to be done! The first person that Norin found was Rizzo, a blue mouse that collected Japanese style dolls and rocks inside his puny house. Well, Ran-chan called it puny because it didn't have any upgrades, and was nothing compared to hers. Rizzo said deeply, "Who are you, squee? Norin, eh? Well, whatever you say, squee." The mouse just looked at Ran-chan and shook his head. "You're messed up, squee." Ran-chan responded, "I'm bored." "Well, squee, that sounds like a personal problem." Norin had to hold the raging female human back. "Need any help?" "No, squee! I DON'T NEED YOUR FUCKING HELP, squee." That further enraged Ran-chan. Butch walked over. "ROOOOWF! Rizzo, you need to leave people alone... especally people like her. I mean, I moved from Kishia and boy, was it the grandest place on earth. Until that human Ralph that lived there, who changed himself to Ass when he moved to another place, well, he fucking nuked it. Rizzo, that's his older sister. Watch yourself and be nice or she'll nuke this place right out of the fuck hole it came out of, ROOOOWF!" Butch was a brown dog that wore ugly clothes all the time. "Make it a true living Hell!" ...meanwhile, at the message board... Ass scratched his ass again. "Look, sis, I'm saying we gotta cut down all the trees in town, then plant fish!" "No, look, we have to mess with the people. And get more people to move here." Natashia said, while checking her mail. "Or steal the money from the post office!" "Shh, they're in that acre over there!" "Or mess with their relationship!" "Quiet! Ran-chan looks pissed!!!" "When is she not, Natashia?" "...when her Norin is around, she's the happiest person on the planet, ya know." Ass stood up and clasped his hands together, doing his impression of Ran-chan. "Oh! Norin! You're my hero! I love you so much!" his voice sounded nothing like his older sister's. "Wait, we could nuke this place!" he said with a smile and in his original voice. Natashia flipped her hair up and shook her head again. "That's your solution for every stupid thing. We can't nuke it. Or who else will we steal from?" At that exact moment in time, a group of travelers came out of the train. All four of them were men. One wore a rose suit, one an all black shirt, another a shirt as ugly as it was... UGLY, and the last wore a flame shirt. "Kurama, this doesn't look like Makai." "I could've sworn that the train monkey said it was to Makai when I asked him. Let's go talk to those villagers." "I got the feeling we're being played, you guys." "Shut up, stupid." Ass and Natashia walked up to the new humans in town. "I thought that it was a rule that only one human could be present at a time in this game." Natashia said with a bewildered look on her face. "Hi! I'm Natashia. This is Ass, my older step-brother." Ass belched. "Yo." "My name's Kurama." the guy in the rose suit said quietly. "I was wondering what is the name of this place." "Oh, yeah. My older sister named it. This place's Hell!" Ass said, picking his triangle shaped nose. "You mean, this is the most horrible place ever to exist?" Kuwabara asked. He, as the others, didn't quite understand what Ass ment. "I could see why, you're gross dude." Natashia shook her head. "No, this place is Hell!" Hiei asked, "Then for the first time, why isn't Kuwabara right, if this place is really Hell?" Yusuke agreed. "Yeah the dumbass never really figured anything out before." The only female present then said, "He still hasn't figured anything out, just like you guys." She pointed to the nearby sign post, where on the back was posted a sign that Ran-chan herself had made even before Natashia had moved in. It said in big black letters upon a the red background: WELCOME TO AC'S PERFECT LITTLE TOWN OF HELL! "My older step-sister made it." "Good ol' Sis." Kurama and his group stared for a moment as Ran-chan and Norin were screaming at Butch and Rizzo from in front of the message board. They understood now, after hearing the screams from both animals. "You're the worst person I've ever met!! SQUEE!" Rizzo yelled loudly. Butch added, "Yeah! ROOOOWF! You're the worst person in HELL!" Both Norin and Ran-chan held out their butterfly nets, ready to attack again. "Shut up! Hell is my town, I founded it right here myself!!" Ran-chan scremed as she attacked once again with her net. "Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!" Butch threw some rotten turnips at Norin, knocking the human out. This made Ran-chan even worse! "HOW DARE YOU HURT MY NORIN!" Instantly, she went into an overdrive, and she attacked with more than just that stupid net of hers. Butch and Rizzo decided to run off... infact, in that moment, they packed up their entire existence and moved from Hell in that instant. Butch left with a scream, "SHE'S GONNA NUKE US!!!" Rizzo didn't add anything to that. He just followed Butch onto the train, never to return. The Final Fantasy ever-present theme song played in the background. Ass looked at Ran-chan and then he remembered. "It's Sis' town tune! So... an hour has passed since we all woke up and decided to live in Hell. Wow. What a coinkydinky!" He cut the cheese in his hands with his axe. Yusuke nodded and sighed. "So, this town's name is Hell, and that's what Porter ment when he said Makai. He thought it ment Hell in Japanese." "Stupid translators." Ass said while he farted. All the characters around him agreed. Then, Ran-chan carried Norin into her house with a worried expression on her face. COMMERCIAL! Ran-chan: BUY ANIME PARAPHANELIA! IT PISSES NON-OTAKU OFF! Norin: Buy ANIME STUFF! 'cuz the only way to get more is to buy! paid for by the Post Office in Hell, with Tom Nook's Stolen Money. Story Two: ...part one continued! Ran-chan and entire stock of beds, one for each floor, in her huge, black-roofed house. On the first floor was her favorite, the exotic set, and that's where she carried her beloved Norin to. Her exotic bed. Upstairs was her regal room, with some Nintendo items scattered about. Downstairs was her classic set, along with a huge glob of junk. She never knew how many guests she may have Ran-chan went to her phonograph and put in her favorite of K.K. Slider's songs. One of his first hits: "I Love You"! She also got some candy from the candy machine, and tried, once again, to draw the Master Sword. That never worked. Of course, it was even harder when your hands were full of candy, but Ran-chan just wanted to try. It took about five minutes for Norin to wake up. He was relaxed in the comfy bed, even when Ran-chan walked up to him he didn't move. "Hey," he said to her as she ate a chocolate bar. "Are we in your house?" "Yeah. This is my humble abode!" she said with a smile. "Want some?" "No. Thanks. So what happened with Butch and Rizzo?" "A turnip knocked you out, darling." "A TURNIP!? I MUST SEEK REVENGE!" Norin sat up. Ran-chan pushed him back down. "No, you're not going anywhere. Besides, Butch and Rizzo moved out, together. I knew they were gay lovers." she shuddered. "Anywho, what do you say to going upstairs? It's more fluffy and frilly, but I can lock the door." She pushed him over, making Norin roll in that direction. "Or do you want to stay?" Norin just shrugged. "I don't care." He accepted her in his arms while she slid right to him. "What's it matter?" "I don't know... I just... I haven't spent much time with you..." They put up Ran-chan's nearby privacy screen, and the entire house began to shake rythmically. At that moment, Kurama was looking at the moving house. "In Hell, do houses dance?" he asked as the Gyroid started to make sexual gestures toward Natashia. "Damn gyroid!" Natashia kicked it, sending the weird creature/machine off into the distance. Now, etenal and forever, Ran-chan could never leave her game. "That ought to fix our problems! Ha!" she said triumphantly as Ass just glared at her. "What about her saving the game? What about her...?" "It was a damn PIMPOID, not a GYROID!" Ass shrugged. "So I'll go to Nooker's and place an order for another Gyroid, after those two stop doing that..." he belched again. The group of Spirit Detectives sighed. "Well, we need to find a place to stay, do we not?" Kuwabara asked. "Since we don't know what that monkey at the train really means and the translators really are horrible..." "I know!" Ass said, "We can Nuke the Translator's Town!" "...no..." Natashia grumbled. "...we can't nuke the translator's town. Then who else will translate games like Final Fantasy Crystal Chronicles and other gamecube titles?" "Yeah! Like that new Yu-Gi-Oh! game!" Kuwabara laughed. The others just stared at him for a few seconds, not knowing what to think. Hiei laughed a moment and then added, "And the idiot plays that new Pokemon game, too." Ass nodded, "But what about Zelda: Wind Waker?" "No..." Natashia grinned. "What about... ANIMAL CROSSING!?" Kuwabara said, "Isn't that what we're doing?" Just then, a random villager, by the name of Tutu walked by saying, "Nah, it doesn't work, I've tried it. I really like that tree over there, though." She then started to skip around, causing yet another akward silence. Ass looked around, but eventually, just like everyone else, his eyes wandered over to the moving house. He didn't know what to do, other than just stare. His sister and her boyfriend were shaking that house so damn violently, it was almost mystifying... "Someone's got to stop this." Natashia said after a while. "This game is rated E!" "This fic ain't." Ass grumbled. "It's what... PG-18.5?" "No, seriously, this is like rated R." Kurama stated. "Look at the story summary." Everyone looked at the story summary, and they knew Kurama was right. Of course, they didn't want to admit it. "Final Fantasy?!" Yusuke asked. "No! Zelda is better!" Hiei just glared back up at him. "No! Final Fantasy kicks Zelda's ASS!" Ass looked up. "What? Did someone say my name? I was named after my family's donkey, which we just called Ass, dude." Natashia just slapped herself. "FINE. If you're gonna keep stalling, I should stop those two!" she growled, walking up to the front door. "Ran-chan! Norin! Come on, we've got to decide what we're going to do!" The only reply that came was heavy breathing and Ran-chan moaning. This only angered the human female, wanting the action to stop. "WILL YOU MAKE LOVE ON YOUR OWN STUPID TIME?!" Natashia screamed. Norin turned to look at the door. "We're fuckin' busy, go the hell away." he proceeded to continue. But stopped when he noticed his love's expression. Ran-chan needed a breather, so he let up. "Holy shit." she sighed, clinging to him tightly. "That... was... wonderful..." she kissed his arm that she clung to. "Thanks!" he replied, tenderly pulling her closer. The house continued to move from the momentum that gathered, but soon it stopped. The two just laid there after, underneath the exotic bed's blanket. "About time," Natashia said as she entered the door. She noticed the Zelda pattern and her sister's moody blue shirt laying on the floor. "Damn... well, whatever. Anywho, you guys, we've got to figure out what we're gonna do." Norin shook his head. "I'm not movin' yet. I've got someone to attend to." The pink haired girl nodded. "So I can see. Kurama and his bunch are lost from a town called Japan, and they're looking for Makai. Well, Porter thought Hell was Makai in Japanese so he sent them here, and now Ass just found out that there was no Makai town in the first place! Well, not in the universe of AC. So now they've got no place to go and we thought you could lend them your basement." She explained this, but Ran-chan was too distracted to answer. "I... Love... You... Norin..." she managed to whisper. "I love you, too," Norin replied. "And hell no! Ran-chan can't lend them her basement!" Natashia grumbled once again. "Why not?!" "Because, I'm moving in." He sat up a little as to support Ran-chan more. "I've got a basement in my house, and after I move in here, they can borrow my basement!" The younger female nodded and turned around. "Well, hurry and move. I'll tell them that they've got a place to stay now." then she stopped and looked at her sister. "And can't you pick this place up a little more? No wonder the HRA hates you." "Go away," Ran-chan said, sitting up. "So we can get dressed." "That's what you'd better do. Now, don't get back to that! That shouldn't happen in the middle of the day, when other people might need you!" Natashia yelled such, then she walked out the door and shut it. Norin laughed. "She's got no clue." "Doesn't that just make it better?" Ran-chan laughed as well, just before getting up to grab her dress. "Norin..." "Yeah...?" "Are you really moving in?" "I mean... may I move in with you?" "If we're married." "...will you... marry me?!" "Do you think I'd ever refuse you?" "Then... now what?" "Now we go and move your shit, baby." "Damn, I thought we'd get it on again." "Well, I just got dressed. Besides, they do need a place to stay." "Yeah, yeah, sure, sure." "Think... once we move your stuff, then we'll continue!" "Hell yeah!" After about fifteen minutes, by Yusuke's clock, the two emerged dressed and ready to move. "All right, now we've got to move Norin's crap!" Ran-chan declared. "Into my basement!" She explained this while she was still straightening out her hat. Norin's shoes were on the wrong feet. Ass just had a great time pointing these things out. "I'd rather not, uhh, discuss what was really on my mind when I fixed my outfit earlier!" Norin shouted, and everyone else but himself and Ran-chan laughed about it. At that moment, four new charas started to walk up to the four houses from the train staition. Now there were twelve people, and no one had any idea of what the hell was going to happen now. "RedMage, where are we?" "I don't know, B.Mage." "I wanna call it... Theiferia!" "Let's go and make real Sword-chucks!" But Ran-chan, Norin, Ass, and Natashia were sure that they were looking for a certain place, and ultimately landed in Hell. As Ass mentioned before - stupid translators! Story Three: ...blank line with question mark at the end... COMING SOON! Episode Preview: While the new group showed up, Ass met up at the Post Office with Natashia to set things in motion for the ruining of Hell. Pete and Pelly... there's more to them than we think. Are they worse than Norin and Ran-chan? Kapp'n and Blathers both hold something dear to them, but what does it have to do with Phyllis? What is with the Hell Dating Show? What? Does Tom Nook want a divorce and to marry someone close to Ass? Read Story Three when it comes out! Rated PG-18.5!! REVIEW FOR ONE, GET ONE FREE... I'm talking STORIES! AUTHORESS' NOTE: I do not hold anything against Pokemon - except the anime series is crap. Otherwise, it's okay. Yu-Gi-Oh! got boring kinda quick, but the manga featured in Shonen Jump is actually pretty good. Please, do not flame because you like these things. I like them too. I just thought that Hiei wouldn't like them. Oh, and I don't own either of them. NOTE TWO: I love both Zelda and Final Fantasy. They are my favorite game series of all time. My brother and I fight about the best of the two all the time, and I pick FF. Sorry, but I do have a massive collection. Time for me to stop bragging! Anywho, uhh, yeah! I love 'em both but I've always known them to be rivals in great stories. And, even though I have a huge collection of both... I don't own the series themselves. Bummer, dude.