When Everything Turns To Black

Chapter 1

When everything turns to black,
you don't know where to go.
You need something to justify your soul.
Silence is broken, confidence is gone.
When everything you're holding on to falls.

»Yeah, Cas, I got him. Just head to the bunker, okay? I'll see you there.« Although he kept his voice lowered, he knew Dean was able to understand every word he said. He could see him staring at him when he looked into the mirror, but he tended to ignore it. This just wasn't Dean. Every movement, every word of his screamed Not Dean. Maybe it was his own soul wandering around in his own meatsuit, but his behavior changed completely, and made him into something unpredictable.

»You're looking for someone to have your back,« Dean summarized the whole call, as Sam finally put his phone down. »Oh yeah, I forgot. It was usually me who had your back.«

Sam shot him a look through the mirror, before his attention strolled back to the dark highway in front of him. Right after Dean had told him he wouldn't took mercy on him either, he prefered to not talk to him again. The real human Dean would never have said something like this to his brother. It was difficult to deal with him now.

»Well, I don't think Cas is a good option as backup. With his stolen grace-«

»What, Dean?« Sam finally said without paying him any more attention other than talking to him. »You want to kill him, too? Rip his angelic throat out?« He had a reason to use Deans own words against him. Maybe Dean would get the hint.

»As far as I'm concerned, there's not much of an angelic throat left.« Dean was well aware of the fact that Cas's grace was burning out. And once it was completely gone, Cas was so as well. Right now, Dean couldn't have cared less about him. »He's gonna die. It's just a matter of time. As it is with you, Sammy.«

Sam stayed quiet. So many thoughts ran through his mind, but right now he couldn't think of one word that would make his demonic brother shut up. Saying nothing was far more intelligent.

They weren't exactly somewhere around Kansas, so it would take much more hours until they would finally reach Lebanon. He had no idea where Cas was, but Sam hoped he would make it to the bunker quick. In front of Dean, he wasn't able to say it, but he could really use Cas's help with Dean at the moment since he had no idea how to deal with him any longer.

Dean was handcuffed to the door in the backseat of the Impala. Without his demonic mojo, he wasn't able to just zap out of here. If he even was capable of doing such things. Sam had no idea, how strong Dean had become. Was he just a regular demon? Apparently not. Even Crowley was afraid to get murdered by the older Winchester which was why he took the blade. Sam could only hope he would throw the thing into a vulcano or toss it onto the moon. Some place safe where Dean wouldn't be able to reach it. It only made him far more aggressive and dangerous as he was even now.

»You're really going to regret the things you've said when you're human again, Dean.«

»When I'm human again?« Dean repeated, a grin slowly appearing on his face. »You're so profoundly convinced that you can turn me back into a human.« He chuckled. »Here I am thinking this couldn't get any better, but it can, right, Sammy?« Dean watched him through the mirror as Sam decided to just stay silent. Again, he smiled. »This is gonna be a long drive.« His voice sounded almost amusingly.

Sam sighed silently.

»Castiel, where are you going?« Hannah followed Castiel across the playground where the portal to heaven was located right now. The odd angel, the old woman, still sat on the bench, observing them suspiciously.

»I have to go to a place in Kansas. You can either stay here, or come with me. It's your choice.« Castiel stopped, looking at Hannah. Whether she decided to come with him or not, he had to go to the bunker. He was weak, yes, but Sam's call was urgent. He'd found Dean, and in all his demonic glory, he wouldn't be as loving and caring as he used to be as a human. They never talked about it, though it hadn't been necessary to do so. But even without talking about it Cas knew they had to do something. Anything.

Due to the men of letters, they knew how to cure demons. Sure, they'd never finished the ritual before, but they almost cured Crowley. The king was still a demon, however, it left behind a pretty decent impact on him. Maybe they were able to completely cure Dean. Well, it was the only hope Castiel got, and it was worth a shot.

»Let me guess,« Hannah began slowly. »The Winchesters again.«

»Hannah, I... They're my friends and they're in trouble. They need me. I'm so sorry.« Castiel really felt sorry, but regardless of what had happened, he just had to go. Still, Hannah didn't seem to understand. She was angry.

»Just once, you have to think about yourself, Castiel! We have to do something about your Grace. I'm trying to do something.«

»I know,« Castiel interrupted her, not knowing how he could finally bring an end to this discussion. He felt tired. Tired of telling her again, and again that he'd accepted his fate. Even he deserved to die after all he'd been through. Metatron was imprisoned, and they had no clue how to open the gates of Heaven again.

Hannah sensed something wasn't right, and instantly, she calmed down, an apologizing look on her face.

»I'm sorry, Castiel,« she whispered. For a few seconds, she was deep in thought, before she gave up and sighed. »I should come with you. You can't even drive. You probably wouldn't arrive safely.«

Castiel formed a little smile on his face, thanking her without saying a word. He really appreciated her decision.

Hannah pulled the keys out of her jacked to unlock the car, before getting inside, Cas right beside her on the passenger's seat.

»Where do we have to go?« Hannah asked, starting the engine. Maybe she wasn't the best driver, but for an angel who'd only driven a car once in her life, she wasn't that bad either. Angels were quick learners.

»Lebanon, Kansas,« Castiel answered. He sunk a bit into the seat, fully relaxing his body. It seemed like he'd lost a lot of power again. »Just wake me up when we're in Lebanon.« Quickly after the car started rolling, Castiel fell asleep, trying to gain a bit of his power back which he needed so desperately.

The road was almost empty which gave Hannah the opportunity to watch Castiel. His face wasn't even relaxed. He looked lost, and in pain, barely holding it together. Although Sam and Dean themself seemed to have enough problems to deal with at the very moment, Hannah really hoped just one of them would be able to help, or even fix Castiel. She certainly couldn't as she was just an ordinary angel without much of her power.

Metatron would be her backup plan, nonetheless.

Hannah woke Castiel up after she'd passed the city-limit sign of Lebanon. It took him a few seconds to realize where he was and what had happend, but then he was able to navigate her to the bunker.

The road was as empty as expected, and the Impala was nowhere to be seen. Seemed like Sam was still on the road.

Castiel took advantage of the moment, and got out of the car to get some fresh air. He wasn't feeling any better. Still, he tried to hide this fact, even though Hannah was well aware of his physical state. She watched him as she also got out of the car, leaning against the door after she slammed it close.

Since Castiel had no key to the bunker, and wasn't able to zap anywhere, they had to wait for Sam outside. Both of them stayed quiet. Castiel tired. Hannah not really sure if all this was a good idea. She was still convinced, finding a way to restore Castiel's grace was a much better idea than helping Sam and Dean Winchester, not really sure if one of them could even help Castiel out of his misery. Not losing hope seemed like a real task these days.

The drive was long and quiet. Sam managed to not speak any more words with Dean who was still sitting in the backseat of the Impala. He only stopped once at a gas station to refuel the Impala, and getting some fresh air without the sharp looks of his brother. The demon inside of him really drove him crazy, and sometimes Sam wasn't even sure what was better: Dean saying all kinds of awful things to hurt him, or Dean staying completely quiet, and just giving him those evil smiles or grins when their eyes met unintentionally in the rearview mirror.

Somehow, he felt really relieved when he finally reached the bunker, and saw another car parked in front of the main entrance. Another person was with Castiel, and Sam identified her as Hannah, the angel who apparently followed Castiel. At least, he wasn't alone in his condition.

»Oh look, my saving angel is here,« Dean tauntingly said. A grin appeared on his face again. Sam just ignored his words before parked the Impala right beside Cas's car. Then he opened the door and got out of the car. He shut the door behind him which gave him the safety to talk to Cas and Hannah without Dean being able to listen to every word they spoke.

»Cas,« he said, greeting the weak looking angel who just raised his hand to greet him back. Then Castiel shot a look forward to the Impala. Through the windows, he could see Dean.

»He seems calm now.«

»He ist calm,« Sam agreed, then he shook his head. »I didn't know how long he would be this calm, so I cuffed him to the door.«

Castiel raised an eyebrow.

»Did he try to attack you?«

»No,« Sam instantly replied, shaking his head slightly. »But trust me, you don't want to get into a fight with him. He's strong. I saw him fight with an ex marine, and he was just playing like it was nothing. He could've killed him within seconds.«

»But he didn't,« Castiel summarized his words and heard Sam sighing quietly.

»Don't get too excited,« Sam said. »I don't even know if there's anything of his former humanity left in him.«

»I can sense it,« Hannah suddenly said, watching Dean for a few seconds before she eyed Sam and Castiel. »Your brother really is strong. A very... dark presence. If I didn't know him, I would think he's a high level demon even angels can't kill.«

»Great,« Sam said unimpressed. »Alright. We should get him inside and lock him in the dungeon. Just... Don't get influenced by what he might say, okay?« He mostly addressed Cas with his words since Hannah had no weak spot Dean could make use of.

Castiel just nodded and watched Sam turn around. Together, they headed towards the car. Dean, still inside, watched every step they took with his green eyes. He didn't give a shit about the female angel, and even Sam was very uninteresting now. Instead, he only focused Castiel. For the first time, he could see his true form. It was just like a silhouette, a shadow even, because even Dean was able to sense his fading, stolen grace. There were no wings at all. Not even broken ones like Hannah seemed to have, even though this image was a bit blurred for a demon. Dean blinked, like he wanted to clear his view, but the next second he wasn't even able to see Hannah's wings again.

Sam opened the car slowly so that Dean had to follow this movement as he was still cuffed to the door. Without letting his older brother out of his sight, he loosened the handcuffs, just to put them back on both of Dean's wrists as soon as the chain wasn't around the door handle.

»Come on,« Sam said, pulling at the chain to get Dean back into movement, and get him out of the Impala. He even followed him, eyes still on Cas.

»Good to see you, Cas,« Dean said amusingly while he was pushed towards the entrance of the bunker. Castiel and Hannah followed anyway.

»I wish I could say the same thing about you,« Castiel replied as Sam opened the door with the key he got from his grandfather.

»Oh, Cas, now you're disappointing me.« Dean didn't sound as disappointed as he said he was, though. For the first time, his eyes wandered to Hannah. »I see you got yourself a little girlfriend. How sweet.«

»We are not-« Hannah realized only a second later that she really wasn't supposed to say or deny anything. Dean probably wouldn't even care at all. And he really didn't.

Sam shot Cas a look as he opened the door, then he pushed Dean inside. Almost as calm as the normal Dean, he went down the stairs, taking in a deep breath.

»Ah, finally back home.«

»Don't get used to the feeling of being around familiar places. You're not going to stay here,« Sam said, as he was shoving his brother towards a certain room.

»Let me guess! The dungeon.« Dean smiled, as if he didn't care. He even chuckled a bit, but he could smile as much as he wanted. Sam knew he was gonna snap eventually. Even Crowley had had a hard time in that dungeon, cuffed to a chair without being able to move one muscle, sitting in the dark with no one to talk to.

Regardless of what Dean said or wanted, Sam felt it was the best to leave his brother there. It was safe for him in the bunker, however, he wasn't sure if there was anything that could've harmed Dean at all. And it was safer for everyone else. Dean seemed to be on edge. Maybe he was as calm as he could possibly get at this moment, but the footage he had viewed in this police station showed very clearly that this state of calm could change within seconds into bloodlust and anger.

Dean headed towards room 7B all by himself to everyone's surprised. Sam followed, and found Dean waiting in front of the large book shelves, standing inside room 7B which was used as kind of archive for all kinds of documents. After he opened the entrance to the bunker right behind the archive, Dean went in, but he stopped right in front of the devil's trap. Only after a little push from Sam, he chuckled, before he finally stepped inside the trap. Even though he didn't want to show it, Sam knew, his brother wanted to avoid the devil's trap at all cost. But there was no way he was going to rest his bones outside of the trap.

There was still a chair in the middle of the huge trap where once Crowley spent his days. The grin was long disappeared from Dean's face, and Sam got the feeling that his brother was going to be pissed eventually. He sat down on the chair anyway, so that Sam could tie him to a chair. In the background, Castiel and Hannah were watching.

»You can't leave me in here forever,« Dean slowly said while Sam tied even his legs to the chair. Then he got up again, looking at his now immobilized brother.

»Not forever,« he corrected him. »Only until we fixed you.«

»Fix me?« Dean repeated, now smiling his amusingly smile again. »There's nothing to fix, Sam. In fact, I feel better than I ever have.«

»Is this you or the demon talking?«

»There is only me.« Dean bared his teeth. A very obvious sign he was going to get angry. »Why can't you accept the fact that I'd rather stay this than going back to be the old, damaged Dean? Oh, is it because I was the one who tricked you into letting an angel in? Now you wanna ruin all the fun I have?«

»You had your fun, Dean.« Sam shook his head slightly, before stepping back out of the devil's trap. His eyes still on his brother. »To me, looking for your dead, missing brother who ran away with the king of hell wasn't fun!«

»Oh, jealousy, Sammy,« Dean throw out. »Is it only because of Crowley? I told you to let me go!« His voice got louder with his last words.

»You were dead, Dean, and in the next moment your body was gone. What was I supposed to think? Oh, he's gone, but it doesn't matter, because he's dead anyway?« Sam turned up the volume as well. But it didn't seem to bother Dean. He was just chuckling again while he just watched his little brother becoming more, and more enraged about his words.

»For instance.« Dean grinned, and Sam seemed like he couldn't take it anymore. Somehow, Dean noticed his anger and frustration. »You could've just let me live my own life. For the first time in my life without having to babysit your annoying little ass.«

The anger just built up in Sam, and Castiel sensed it. He knew the Winchesters too long for not sensing something like that.

»Sam,« he said calmingly, trying to get Sam's focus back to far more important things. Like setting up the ritual which would hopefully cure Dean from being a demon. But Sam refused to listen to him. Instead, he was still watching his brother. And Dean took his chance again to provoke Sam's anger.

»Dad was right. I should've killed you when I had the chance.«

His words were just enough, and Sam snapped. Quickly, he was back inside the devil's trap again, before he just hit Dean right in the face. A groan of pain escaped the demon's lips, blood dripping down his nose. Even his lip was bruised. Sam rose his hand again for another hit, but suddenly Castiel stopped him.

»Enough,« the angel decided, pushing Sam out of the devil's trap, and back to the book shelf. As Castiel shot the demon another look, he could see that his bruised lip had gone back to normal and even the blood flow stopped.

»You're gonna burn for that, Sammy, you hear me?« Dean promised angrily with a rough voice, but Sam just slammed the door behind him, after he'd escaped room 7B.

Castiel shook his head slightly, watching Dean for a few seconds, but then he turned around as well, leaving the room. Together with Hannah, he pushed the book shelves back to it's usual place, closing the dungeon. A few seconds later, Dean could hear the door shutting somewhere behind the shelves, before even the light went out.

Growling silently, he tried to get rid of the ropes around his wrists, but they were far to tight to escape. So he had to wait - something Dean Winchester pissed off even more.

A/N: As you may have guessed, this is set right after 10.02 »Reichenbach«, and is pretty much my own version of how I imagine season 10 from this point on. Later on, there will be some Destiel. And a lot of demon!Dean of course, because I just love Dean as a demon. It's pretty awesome writing him this way.

Furthermore, English isn't my first language, so forgive me if you can find any mistakes. It's not my first english fanfic, but I'm trying to get better. My first language is German, by the way. But writing Supernatural fanfics in German just doesn't feel right. The characters would just sound... awkward since I'm watching the series only in English.

Chapters should be coming regularly.

I really hope you've enjoyed reading. Let me know what you think! I'll love you to pieces.