An Otalia Story - Natalia has been missing for several hours and Olivia doesn't know what has happened to her or where she is...AGAIN. Will she come home? Has she run away?
Olivia doesn't realize how clenched her jaw is. All she knows is that the Excedrin she took an hour ago is not lessening the pulsing throb at her left temple. She wishes Natalia's knock on the door would be just as loud. But for now there is no knock, no jangling keys, and no car motor coming to a humming stop in the driveway. There is nothing but silence and the pounding in her head. She picks up her cell for the tenth time that evening. Natalia's number is still not on the display. "There are no new messages," is the only robotic report that Olivia hears when she checks her voicemail. There hasn't been a new message since 3:12 that afternoon when Natalia had left one lamenting about how long the publisher was taking to meet with her. Blake had sent Natalia into the city to deliver a manuscript. "I'll be home by 6," Natalia's last words before she hung up.
Standing in front of their house, Olivia stares out onto the pitch black yard which is marked by an isolated spray of porch light and dotted in the distant darkness by the fleeting blink of fireflies. She lets the screen door slam shut behind her as she drags her feet back into the living room, the fifth time since dusk. She checks the time: 8:53 pm.
"Natalia?" Emma screams from upstairs. Wearing pajamas with a frothy toothbrush in hand, Emma races down, stopping mid-flight once she sees only her mom in the living room. "Is she here? Was that Natalia?"
"Emma," Olivia firmly says, anxiously running her fingers through her hair. "I already asked you to brush your teeth and go to bed. When Natalia comes home, I'll let you know."
"Okaaay. I am brushing my teeth," Emma whines, as she slumps back up the stairs. "Natalia never misses dinner and she missed dinner. I don't like eating food from the Beacon anymore."
"Well be thankful that you ate," Olivia snaps. "Now go to bed."
Emma changes her mind and suddenly rushes down the rest of the stairs into Olivia's unexpecting arms. She hugs and kisses Olivia and runs back up.
"Hey!" Olivia calls.
"I know, walk," Emma says.
"What I was going to say is. I'm...," Olivia starts, then halfheartedly decides to look at the 'glass half full'. "I miss her too. Listen, Natalia will be home before you know it and everything'll be okay."
With a smile on her face and a skip in her step, Emma disappears upstairs.
"I love you," Olivia calls after her.
"I love you," Olivia's voice wanes as she looks back outside into the blackness.
The iridescent display of Olivia's cell tempts her to call Natalia again, to leave another message, to call Frank again. She reaches for a tissue to blow her nose. It's been running but she doesn't know for how long. It's been running for as long as her thoughts have been about what could have happened to Natalia, where could she...Olivia's chest tightens. My heart, she thinks. Stay with me Gus. Suddenly breathing feels like a struggle, a burden as her lungs shrink in size. Natalia would not run out on her again. It's not possible. Olivia would have noticed this time if something was wrong. She would have noticed, right? Besides, Natalia had promised that she would tell her anything, everything; that they would deal with anything together, no matter how difficult, how complex, no matter how much it challenged their faith in being able to get through it together.
They live together now, Natalia is not only accountable to Olivia, but she's accountable to Emma too and she wouldn't do anything to hurt Emma. And they had...they had made love...Olivia's heart jumps out of her chest. Natalia would never walk out on the covenant that they had made upstairs, in Natalia's room, their room now, in this home they now share. It was the most beautiful promise Olivia had ever experienced with anyone above and beyond her five marriages and multiple lovers. The first time with Natalia awakened her. The second time, Olivia cried. The third time, and every time after that, was like a vow; I do, I do, I do.
"Olivia?" a haggard voice beacons her from the other room.
Shaken out of her reverie, Olivia runs to the kitchen. She stops in the doorway at the sight of Natalia, not knowing whether to rush to her and hold her or to remain paralyzed in awe and disbelief that Natalia is finally here. Natalia is disheveled; her handbag almost drags on the floor suspended by the very tips of her fingers, the curls in her hair hang limply over her shoulder. Olivia can't tell if the expression on Natalia's face is of relief or frustration, fatigue or defeat.
"What, what happened?" Olivia asks. Natalia's growing belly looks heavy and burdensome.
"I'm so sorry I'm so late," Natalia says dropping her bag. She waddles to Olivia for a hug. "My cell died. I couldn't find the car charger. I thought it was in the glove compartment. Then my car died."
"What?"
"It's okay, it's in the driveway. I have to bring it to the shop tomorrow."
"Josh'll come over and look at it. I'll call him in the morning."
"Some nice stranger boosted the battery. He gave me his card somewhere. I have to thank him, mail him some cookies or something. It stalled about 10 miles from here. I was on the highway for hours before someone stopped and oh," Natalia says, suddenly holding her head. "I was so caught up in this whole mess that I didn't even think to borrow his phone to call you."
"I'm just happy you're home," Olivia says giving Natalia an intense hug. They hold each other in the quiet and comfort of the home in their hearts.
Natalia gently pulls back out of the slightly possessive embrace to gaze into Olivia's troubled green eyes.
"You," Natalia says, suspiciously studying Olivia as she strokes a thumb across her cheek. "You thought I...I promised you that I wouldn't do that again. You have to trust me."
"I do. I will," says Olivia resisting the urge to cry. "It's going to take me some time. I need time. I need to know..."
Olivia pulls completely out from the hug and turns her back to Natalia.
"You need to know what?" Natalia pleads.
"I need to know," Olivia says trying to hold back an unspoken fury that has been in her since the July 1st barbeque. "That you'll be there for Emma. She needs you now more than ever. You know...to get her up in the morning and to be there when she comes home from...school. And to…to have a home cooked meal. Did you know that she doesn't like hotel food anymore? Did you know that?"
"What?" Natalia asks perplexed.
"And it's your fault with all that..."- Olivia waves her hand dismissively - "that home cooking that you do. And tonight, she couldn't sleep. I just got her to bed a minute ago, worrying about you."
"Olivia...," Natalia says reaching to put her hand on her shoulder.
"You're due in 3 months anything could have happened. I...We don't want to lose you."
"You won't - " Natalia starts.
"I don't know that," Olivia interrupts sharply. "I don't know. I'm working on faith here. It's not one of my strongest virtues, okay. You know what? Maybe this was all a bad idea. I should have waited to move in. Maybe I'm not ready for this."
"No! No and yes you are," Natalia says desperately grasping Olivia's hand. "I'm ready, you're ready. We're ready."
Olivia shakes her head apprehensively.
"Yes we are, we can do this. I want to do this with you. Look at me," Natalia commands.
Natalia takes Olivia's face in her hands, and holds it tenderly and close to her own.
"I want to make breakfast everyday for us," Natalia continues. "And or Rafe, when he comes back home, and for Ava when she visits Springfield. I want to pack Emma and this little baby" - she touches her belly - "lunches for school and watch them wave goodbye on the school bus. I want to have a hot meal ready for you when you come home from work so you don't have to worry about anything once you leave the job. I want to take care of you, of all four of us, together in this house, in our home. And..."
Natalia takes both of Olivia's hands into her own and places them on her heart, "I want to lay down with you at night and, most of all, wake up beside you in the morning, with your head on my pillow every day and start all over again."
Olivia doesn't feel the single tear fall from her cheek; she is lost in Natalia and in their love. She raises their entwined hands to her lips and kisses Natalia's.
"Emma!" Olivia screams over her shoulder. "Emma! Come down. Natalia's home."
Olivia faces Natalia and says, "We're all home now."