Harry Potter walked through the halls of Hogwarts like a fiend in lederhosen (which he was). He blasted through the doors of the great hall with the new dramatic entrance spell he had been working on, but it backfired and all that happened was a kazoo appeared with a loud bang and started playing "Row, Row, Row Your Boat". Harry knew that the spell wouldn't matter because everyone in Hogwarts loved him for who he was, The Boy Who Lived (in capital letters folks). Everyone watched silently as he marched through the doors, snapped his lederhosen straps, and struck a dramatic pose. Everyone in the hall, clad in their usual black robes, stared at him. Crickets could be heard in the background. After ten seconds of not receiving any applause, Harry looked up. Dumbledore, as always, looked slightly amused.
"I'M THE BOY WHO LIVED, DAMN IT! THE BOY WHO LIIIIIIIVED! I THOUGHT THAT MEANT SOMETHING TO YOU!!!" and with that, he turned around and blasted back through the doors of the great hall. Everyone in the hall resumed talking and Dumbledore continued looking slightly amused.
Harry stormed down the hall, on his way back to the Gryffindor common room, when he saw Malfoy. Malfoy was wearing a pink dress with tutu like qualities.
"Hi Malfie!" squealed Harry mockingly, "I'm better than you!"
Malfoy started crying and yelled, "I'm telling Father on you!"
"And now I'm going to curse you with my high tech cursing abilities!" said Harry excitedly, "Goodygoodygoodygoodygoodygoodygoody!" He whipped out his wand and waved it around fanatically. "Expecto Patronum!" A silver stag burst out of Harry's wand and promptly took a crap on his lederhosen. The stag then disappeared.
"Oh! Oh! Pick me! Pick me!" screamed Malfoy jumping up and down and waving his hand around, "I know a really good one! Accio best warriors in the world!" The Fellowship zoomed across the grounds of Hogwarts, crashed through doors and brick walls, and, with a splat, collided with the wall to the left of Malfoy. They skidded down making that really irritating squeaky noise. All were now unconscious. "Rejuvinatie thinger mumblemumble..." said Malfoy trying to remember the spell. Fortunately, his incantation was close enough and one by one The Fellowship got up. Aragorn, being the natural born leader that he was, was the first to speak.
"Why are we in a strange fortress with strangely clad... hobbits?... men? I'm so confused!"
"My keen elven seeing should do the trick!" said Legolas and he peered at them intently. "One of them seems to be wearing attire of the Alps, while the other is clad in a dance costume. This cannot be happening! It is elf-lore that if one is to meet strange and strangely clad beings in an unbeknownst fortress then we shall all be DOOMED TO EAT NOTHING BUT COFFEE CREAMER FOR ALL OF ETERNITY. IT CAN'T BE! IT CAN'T BE!" he hurled himself on top of Pippin who collapsed under his weight. Legolas wasn't heavy, but Pippin was a weakling. Suddenly, Peeves the poltergeist came bouncing around the hall spitting Teddy Grahams all over the place.
"GONDOR!" screamed Boromir hurling himself at the phantom. He swiped Peeves's head off with one slash of the sword of... um... stuff.
"You killed Peeves!" shouted the lederhosen clad Harry, "Now I have no choice but to kill you! Expecto Patronum!" The silver stag made another appearance but this time took a crap on Frodo.
"EEWWW! I hate the poo!" he shrieked.
"Scourgifry!" roared Malfoy mispronouncing the cleaning spell. The poo on Frodo instantly burst into flame.
"Aaaaahhhhhhhh! Somebody save me from the burning poo!" wailed Frodo like a damsel in distress.
"I will save you!" bellowed Gimli like a primitive monkey. He raised his axe and charged at Frodo.
"NOOOOOO!" Frodo leaped out of the way just in time and Gimli sunk his axe into the brick wall.
"SILENCE!!!" Dumbledore had just appeared looking slightly amused.
"I'M THE BOY WHO LIVED, DAMN IT! THE BOY WHO LIIIIIIIVED! I THOUGHT THAT MEANT SOMETHING TO YOU!!!" and with that, he turned around and blasted back through the doors of the great hall. Everyone in the hall resumed talking and Dumbledore continued looking slightly amused.
Harry stormed down the hall, on his way back to the Gryffindor common room, when he saw Malfoy. Malfoy was wearing a pink dress with tutu like qualities.
"Hi Malfie!" squealed Harry mockingly, "I'm better than you!"
Malfoy started crying and yelled, "I'm telling Father on you!"
"And now I'm going to curse you with my high tech cursing abilities!" said Harry excitedly, "Goodygoodygoodygoodygoodygoodygoody!" He whipped out his wand and waved it around fanatically. "Expecto Patronum!" A silver stag burst out of Harry's wand and promptly took a crap on his lederhosen. The stag then disappeared.
"Oh! Oh! Pick me! Pick me!" screamed Malfoy jumping up and down and waving his hand around, "I know a really good one! Accio best warriors in the world!" The Fellowship zoomed across the grounds of Hogwarts, crashed through doors and brick walls, and, with a splat, collided with the wall to the left of Malfoy. They skidded down making that really irritating squeaky noise. All were now unconscious. "Rejuvinatie thinger mumblemumble..." said Malfoy trying to remember the spell. Fortunately, his incantation was close enough and one by one The Fellowship got up. Aragorn, being the natural born leader that he was, was the first to speak.
"Why are we in a strange fortress with strangely clad... hobbits?... men? I'm so confused!"
"My keen elven seeing should do the trick!" said Legolas and he peered at them intently. "One of them seems to be wearing attire of the Alps, while the other is clad in a dance costume. This cannot be happening! It is elf-lore that if one is to meet strange and strangely clad beings in an unbeknownst fortress then we shall all be DOOMED TO EAT NOTHING BUT COFFEE CREAMER FOR ALL OF ETERNITY. IT CAN'T BE! IT CAN'T BE!" he hurled himself on top of Pippin who collapsed under his weight. Legolas wasn't heavy, but Pippin was a weakling. Suddenly, Peeves the poltergeist came bouncing around the hall spitting Teddy Grahams all over the place.
"GONDOR!" screamed Boromir hurling himself at the phantom. He swiped Peeves's head off with one slash of the sword of... um... stuff.
"You killed Peeves!" shouted the lederhosen clad Harry, "Now I have no choice but to kill you! Expecto Patronum!" The silver stag made another appearance but this time took a crap on Frodo.
"EEWWW! I hate the poo!" he shrieked.
"Scourgifry!" roared Malfoy mispronouncing the cleaning spell. The poo on Frodo instantly burst into flame.
"Aaaaahhhhhhhh! Somebody save me from the burning poo!" wailed Frodo like a damsel in distress.
"I will save you!" bellowed Gimli like a primitive monkey. He raised his axe and charged at Frodo.
"NOOOOOO!" Frodo leaped out of the way just in time and Gimli sunk his axe into the brick wall.
"SILENCE!!!" Dumbledore had just appeared looking slightly amused.