It was a warm christmas morning on thanksgiving, and farmer with shotgun was especially lonely. He was masterbating to pictures of objects like toasters and solar panels.

"EUGHAH…BUBUBUBUB...PLLLUTONIUM238OPOPOPO….EUGH." he shouted as he blasted his sticky semen all over his new samsung plasma screen TV he got a payless.

He was no longer horny but had something else that could not be fixed by beating his meat …he wanted love. Farmer with shotgun didn't know where to start, but he didn't have time to waste. After all he isn't getting any younger. He bolted out his door and looked for love.

He found himself in a crowded city and he looked around for a good candidate. He approached a large african american man.

"Excuse me sir…ummm if your single i'd like to date you and fall in love with you" a nervous carl told him.

"What ta fhock did u say to me white pussy ass cracker bitch pussy fucker titty"

"date me"

"I aint a faggot little cracker ass chaser nigga pussy bitch hole booty muncher"

"i want love not ass"

"get away from me before i pound yo little cracker ass niqua pussy bitch ass tit grandma fart suckers dick's sporting goods."

Farmer with shotgun ran away feeling hurt he just felt the biggest pain he has ever felt… rejection. He decided to try nicer looking people so he approached a female college student.

"ummm…will you date me" he questioned.

"No you fat stupid ass cunt pussy ass bitch cunt titty grandpa story time." she replied.

"why are you so mean to me" He beckoned.

"cause you a big fat poppy head"

Farmer with shot gun walked until there was no more land to walk on. Thats when he met the love of his life and the best part is she can't talk back to reject him. He just fell in love with the Atlantic ocean. He walked up to it and kissed it. It was salty but so was he. It was magic and they were in love…real love. in a few months the farmer left and moved to the ocean.

the tragedy happened twenty years later. The atlantic ocean got cancer and died. The pain was too much and Famer with Shotgun killed himself. It was really sad…The end.