Disclaimer: Slayers doesn't belong to me, it belongs to its copyrighted and rightful owners. Duh.

Summary: We all know the Slayers gang kicks ass at fighting evil, but I wonder what or who they will be if they ever lived in real life? (As in, reality.) Well, for those who were wondering as well, here's my take at what will happen if the Slayers gang happened to be in our universe instead of the alternate one, hehe. Okay, so I know that the Slayers gang are in school and some of their ages have been altered to fit into the story, and it's kinda a ripoff off my old fic, Slayers: Trapped in School?! but hey, this one is more original than that one, and the Slayers gang is in school originally instead of being trapped in it, so yeah.

***

It was another morning, another day, and Lina Inverse is up by the time the alarm clocks reads 7:30. "Ahhhhh, why do I have to wake up so early?" she moaned to no one in particular. "Stupid school. I can't wait 'till I'm done with it." Lina, being 15-years-old, is a freshman in high school, and today is her first day of school. Far from being nervous, she's actually ready to beat up anyone who gets in her way. Some things will never change.

After taking a bath, Lina went downstairs to eat her breakfast and comes face-to-face with her sister, Luna. "Aargh! Oh, God, don't scare me so early in the morning, you evil woman!" Lina shouted.

"Excuse me?" Luna said, raising her eyebrow. "Who the heck would cook you breakfast if I don't cook, huh? I don't see you trying to cook! And don't shout so early in the morning."

"Yeah, well, I would've cooked if you'd let me," Lina mumbled.

"Yeah, well, I would've let you cook if you hadn't blown up the kitchen the last time you tried." The poor kitchen had to be reconstructed. The stove had never been the same afterwards. There were still obvious burn marks on some of the cabinets.

"Oh, stop putting me down," Lina said, rolling her eyes and eating the French toast her sister had prepared.

"Whatever, little sister," Luna said. "I'm going to be home late tonight. I cooked dinner already, so just heat it up, okay?"

"Oh, stop playing the caring sister," Lina grumbled. "I could've just bought some takeout."

Luna glared. "I have a feeling you will order takeout. I only cooked one meal. You'll probably order 7 more meals, won't you?"

Lina just grinned. She looked at the watch, which says 7:50. "Oh, crap! I'm going to be late!"

"Oh, it's only a 5-minutes walk from here, stop whining. And classes doesn't even start until 8:30." Luna said as Lina rushed to take her backpack, stuff her mouth with what's left of her French toast, gather her books and run out of the house all at the same time. "See you then! And don't cause any trouble!"

Luna was right, of course. It was only a 5-minutes walk from their house, so it wasn't too bad. Lina's only grumble was waking up early, really. When you wake up early, you're bound to be cranky and get mad at everything. It's rule #55 in life.

When Lina arrived at school, the bell has not rang yet. She rushed to her new locker in the second floor and groaned when it won't open. "Open up, you damned piece of trash!" she shouted at her locker, kicking it violently.

"Oooh, ickle freshies can't get her locker opened?" a taunting voice said from behind Lina.

Lina groaned. Great. Seniors, she thought exasperatedly. Of course, it's not like Lina can't vaporize them in just a second. She just prefer not dealing with the idiots at all, if possible. However, the idiots are idiots, and as such, will never know when to stay away, sadly.

She turned to assess her situation. Five overbearing senior boys stood before her, all of them menacingly tall and bulky. It was obvious from their jerseys that they're football players. It's so typical. Lina was so prepared for the freshmen bullying though. So she just smirked.

"There's no chance in you helping me is there?" Lina asked, grinning wryly, knowing the answer.

One of the seniors, presumably the leader because he was the biggest one among the five seniors, just laughed. "Did you hear that, guys?" he asked among them. "The little freshie dared ask for our help and she's actually smiling!"

The goons laughed. "Are you stupid or something?" another guy said, this one blond. "Aw, man, I think the freshie's flirting with us!"

Ugh. How delusional.

This just made the five boys laughed harder though. It's sad that their humour isn't too extended. Undoubtedly, their brains are even lamer.

"Look, freshie, don't even think of flirting with the seniors," the leader said, grinning and chuckling to himself. "Especially with boobs like that! I mean, seriously, dudes, have you guys seen anything smaller than that?"

"Only an mosquito bite!"

This cracked them up so badly that they didn't even realize that Lina's face had changed from amused to that of fury. Fires blazed in her eyes as she smiles coyly up at them? "Aww, what's the matter? Don't you like small ones? I thought it would accompany your small you-know-what!"

And at the last word, Lina aimed a kick at the leader's crotch.

Except that, before Lina's foot can even kick the leader's crotch, a blond boy had "came to her rescue".

"Stop right there!"

All of them turned to see where the voice had come from.

"What the hell are you doing here?" the leader asked, unaware of what Lina had tried to do before the blond guy came to her rescue.

"Yeah, this is none of your business, freshie." Apparently, these seniors could tell just by one look at the students there to see if they're freshmen, sophomores, juniors or seniors. These guys must have no life.

"Oh, I make it my business when a damsel-in-distress is in… um… distress!" the blond man said. "I am Gourry Gabriev, defender of justice and deliverer of pizza!"

"Huh?" the seniors said simultaneously.

"Okay, yeah, so I don't deliver pizzas," Gourry said, shrugging. "But don't you think it has a certain ring to it rather than just 'I am Gourry Gabriev, defender of justice'?"

By now the leader has lost all patience with dealing with the freshmen and opted to go for more aggressive moves. "Oh, shut up, you piece of crap!" And with that, he lunged towards Gourry, aided by the others.

Gourry was faster than them, on account of him being smaller than the seniors. (Still, though, for a freshman, he was considerably taller than the rest of the 15-years-old Lina had seen in the school.) He drove a kick into each of the seniors' shins and all of them dropped to the floor. Apparently, they're not really good in combat. Their instinct is just to beat up whoever they want to by driving into them. It would've worked if the person they're trying to beat up didn't know any martial arts or any defensive techniques. It seems that Gourry is a skilled fighter.

Lina just eyed the fight with interest. In all the truth, Gourry hadn't even need to rescue her. She had been doing fine. Well, except that she couldn't open her locker. But that could be remedied. She was a skilled fighter too, probably even more skilled than this blond here is. She's probably a  lot smarter than him, too, going by his not-too-marvelous "speech" at the start of the "rescue". I mean, "deliverer of pizza"? Give me a break.

When the fight had broken down, Gourry clapped his hands together with satisfaction and grinned at Lina. His face fell when he saw Lina though. "Oh. It's just some lost kid from middle school," he said to himself, sighing.

"What?!" Lina exclaimed, outrage. The seniors had gotten up and ran away to the end of the hall. Maybe they're going to report to the monitors. That could be a problem.

"Don't worry, kid," Gourry said, grinning, thinking that he's doing a kind thing to the middle-schooler. "I'll direct you back to middle school. Do you have classes here?"

"I am not a middle-schooler!" Lina said, stamping her foot on the floor. "I'm a freshie—I mean, freshman too!" She pouted and gave Gourry her best death glare.

"Oh," Gourry said, rising his eyebrows. "Whatever you say, kiddo."

Lina narrowed her eyes. Is this guy for real? The bell rang at that time, though, so she had no chance to actually show Gourry just how grown-up she is by beating him up. Lina's motto in life has always been "Just beat them all up". It was clear why she had to transfer schools 7 times when she was still in middle school.

"Oh, I gotta get to class!" Gourry said in a hurried voice, rushing to his class with his books in hand.

Lina just sighed. She turned to her locker. And remembered that she forgot to ask the boy for help with her locker. "Oh, dammit!"

***

Lina finally got to her first period class, Social Studies. God, I hate this class. Even though it hasn't started yet, the class outline gave her the idea that it'll be a terribly boring affair. She had arrived late, on account of her can't opening her locker. Which she had tried to explain to the Social Studies teacher, Mr. Fire, but he insist on scolding her for being late to the first class on the first day of school. Lina told him that if he didn't believe her, he could go to her locker and inspect the den she had to put through it for it to fall open. (The poor locker didn't stand a chance.)

High school turns out to be a dud after all, Lina thought. Just like Luna said.

Of course, there's no way to tell that it'll be a dud. It's just the first period, after all. Things could only get better for her anyway, couldn't it?

"All right, class," Mr. Fire said, clapping his hands once. "Now that you all have seen the outline for the class for the rest of the year, I want to get right into our lessons for today. Before that, though, I want to ask you all what history means to you." Mr. Fire grinned his annoying elastic grin. Lina longed to pull it into a frown.

What a stupid idea, Lina thought inwardly. Man, this class is going to be the worst one ever.

"We will first start with the latecomer today," Mr. Fire said sternly, looking in Lina's direction. "Miss Inverse. Would you care to share with us what you like about history, if there's any at all?"

"No, not really," Lina said, shrugging nonchalantly. The other students threw crooked grin among each other. They so loved a rebel and classroom drama. And it's only the first day of school! What luck.

Mr. Fire gazed at Lina long enough for Lina to relent. She sighed. "Okay, fine!" she said, sitting up straighter in her seat. "Ahh, jeez, can't you guys just leave me alone? Okay. What I like about history. Um… okay. I love it because it's good to know about your roots and all and it's nice to know what happens before you were even born and stuff. And besides, it makes you appreciate your situation much more, 'cause people had to go to wars and all before this, but we don't, so we're lucky. And stuffs."

Mr. Fire's eyes were widened. "Well," he said, grinning. "Who would've thought you're such a history lover, Miss Inverse?"

"Oh, yeah, I love history," Lina said, grinning widely. "I mean, the people are dead anyways, so it makes you appreciate that you're alive. But then again, I bet the wars are better than sitting in this boring classroom. I mean, man, even Columbus will drop dead when he hears about the stupid lessons!"

Giggles could be heard from the students.

Mr. Fire had returned to the stern teacher once more. "I think detention would suit you, Miss Inverse. I know it's the first day of school but it seems that you have no respect at all for our education system."

Lina groaned. "Augh, you guys are evil."

"Hey," a voice from Lina's right hissed in her ear, tickling it. She giggled.

"Stop that!" she shouted to the perpetrator, making Mr. Fire glare at her again. "Sorry."

The perpetrator had happened to be none other than Gourry. "Hey!" Lina exclaimed in surprise, pointing her finger at Gourry. "What are you doing here?" Luckily, Mr. Fire had looked away to question another poor freshman of what they liked about history, so he didn't realize Gourry and Lina were communicating with each other.

"What are you doing here?" Gourry asked her instead. "I didn't know you were smart enough to get into Social Studies in 9th grade!"

Lina facefaults. "Oh my God, are you really that stupid or are you just pulling my leg?"

"I'm not pulling your leg, what are you talking about?" Gourry asked, looking confused. Hey, I never said that Gourry and Lina were intelligently communicating with each other.

Lina blinks. "You're weird."

"Hey, if I'm weird, you're weirder for getting into high school classes when you're just a middle-schooler!"

"I'm a freshman you moron!" she shouted to Gourry. This causes Mr. Fire to glance in their general direction again, frowning at them.

"Detention for both of you!" he declared to Gourry and Lina.

"Awww!"

***

"I'm telling you, I'm a freshman!" Lina said huffily, glaring at Gourry still.

"That doesn't mean you have to shout at me!" Gourry said, making a sad face. "How am I going to deliver my pizzas after school if I have to serve detention?"

Lina blinks. "Are you telling me you really deliver pizzas?"

"Yes," Gourry blinks dubiously.

Lina grinned. "Well, then, you're my new favourite buddy!"

"Huh?" Gourry said, confused again. "What are you talking about?"

"I'm telling you that I'll consider you as a friend, you weirdo!" Lina said, knocking her fist to Gourry's head. "So. You brought any pizzas along with you today?"

"Pizzas?" Gourry said, his eyes brightening. "Really, where?"

Lina struggled not to hurt the poor guy. "The pizzas you deliver!"

"But I'm supposed to deliver them, not bring them here!" Gourry protested.

"Well, then you better deliver it to my stomach!" she shouted at him, knocking his head again.

"How can I deliver it to your stomach if it doesn't have any address?" Gourry asked, his usual confused look on his face. "Or does it have an address?"

Lina was speechless. "I swear, if it wasn't for the pizzas…"

"What pizzas?"

Lina sighed. "I can't believe I made friends with this goon. You're worse than the seniors this morning."

"What seniors?"

***

Lina was sad to acknowledge that, due to her unlucky fate, she had every one of her classes with Gourry for the rest of the year! It was a tragic fact, that, and if it wasn't for the pizzas, she would've beat him up and ask his guidance counselor to change his schedule. Or beat up his guidance counselor so that he would change Gourry's schedule. Personally, she'd beat up anyone in her frustration.

"Gee, I can't believe that I have every classes with you," Gourry said, grinning. "It's nice when buddies have the same classes together, eh?"

Lina sighed. "Yes, Gourry, it is very nice." Gourry had stick to her like a plague. It was obvious that he was doing so because she's a familiar face, and by instinct, he probably thought that she could have him pass some of his classes. Every time Lina thought of that, she made herself think about the pizzas that she's going to have for lunch and dinner instead.

But Lina had to admit to herself that it was rather nice to have a familiar face, too. True, she had only talked to Gourry only this morning, but he had noble intentions when he tried to unnecessarily rescue her, and he had been a total jellyfish, but he's not a bad person. And besides, there's a certain advantage of him being a pizza delivery boy. ["Oh, would you stop it with the pizzas, already?" asked the author.]

By the time lunch arrived, Gourry and Lina had bonded, though. This was because both of them had similar appetites. The one where they could eat anything and everything edible in front of them. It was lucky, really, that the cafeteria tables were wood and couldn't be eaten.

"Gourry, that chicken leg's mine!" Lina shouted as she took a chicken leg from Gourry's plate. Gourry had grabbed ahold of it before Lina could chew into it though, so now they're both struggling for it. Other students eating their lunch at nearby tables had stopped eating to see the "tug-of-war-with-food" game.

"Hey, it was in my tray of lunch!" Gourry shouted back, holding on to his chicken leg and feeding his mouth a spoonful of macaronis at the same time. An impressive feat for normal human being, but I doubt Gourry and Lina are what you would call normal.

"No it wasn't, it fell into your tray, it was supposed to be in mine in the first place!"

"It's mine! I'm a boy so I should have more nutrition!"

"But your brain is smaller so it doesn't need that much food!"

"I know your breasts need more food but—"

"What did you say?!"

"I said that your breasts need more food but—"

"Lina's flying kick!"

The rest of the lunch, sadly, was flying with Gourry too, so in the end, Lina never did get to eat the rest of the chicken leg.

"You stupid idiot, now I'm gonna be starved until I get home!" Lina shouted at Gourry as they both got out of the cafeteria after they were both given detention again. So now they have a total of three hours of detention.

"I'm starving too," Gourry said sadly. "The food went into the trashcan before I could eat it while I was being kicked by you." He sighed. Had he not been a man, Lina suspected that he would've actually cried.

Lina was actually sorry to see Gourry displaying such an act of sadness. "Ahh, don't worry, Gourry," she said, grinning at him and putting a peace sign out at him. "You can always eat some of pizzas you deliver!"

"But I'll get fired," Gourry said, frowning, "won't I?"

Lina frowned. "Well, yeah. Then I wouldn't get anymore pizzas. Argh, no, that can't happen! Okay, I know! We'll order Chinese takeouts after detentions, and we'll go to our house to watch this wrestling match I taped once. That's how I developed 'Lina's flying kick'! Well, no, it was from a Jackie Chan movie. So are you coming?"

"Um… did you say Chinese takeouts?"

"No, actually, I was talking about a Jackie Chan movie and some wrestling tapes that you might wanna check out."

"Huh?"

"We'll order Chinese takeouts."

"I'm there."

And that was how the mismatched friendship came to be about.