A/N: I love the Harrie Potter movies! I wanted to write a fnfiction where all the charactas were cool and goffik and not preps like the movies. Dis isi what Harry Potta Eplisode 6 would have been like if JK Rowland was a cool autor. I is really fsory if dis does not match the books. I've only seen some of the movies, okay?

Hi My name is Satanina and I am a goff. I gets a letter from the Harry Potter school written in BLODD and it said I was supere cool and can go to da Harry Pooter school. My BFF Hermiones Gangrene also gets a letter from da Harry Ootter scho I went to da train station and we wnet to the train adn took it to the harry potter school called hogwards. On the train,I met a really cool Person named Hermiones Gangrene. She weass goth with really long black hair that went to her waist. We were freinds simulaneosly because we were both goff. She really liked my chemical romanse and she saids tht she would marry Jerard way but I told her I would marry Jerard Way so she said it was ok and that I would marry him and she would be the best woman at our wedding.

IDK if I'm a mugge born or a pureblood or a halfblood because I am a orphan and mine life was with my stupid preppy stepparents . When I gots the letter they said to not open it becasue I can't be a witch I haf to be a doctor or a lwayer or both. But they don not a know if I am a vamire so I cant be a doctor except if i were in THE SUPID VAMPIRE MOVIE WITH STUPID PREP VAMPIRES CALLED TWIGHTLIGHT so i will make myself a VAMPIRE WITH!

When I gets to thd HAry potta school they divide us into 4 groups: NErdy Preps, stupid preps, lame preps (griffendorks(get it? cause im goffic! )), and super cool goffs dats slytheringe. I am really skinny but I get mad when peoples ask me if how I keep myself so skinny cause im not anorexic even though i look at it . I have waist lenght black hair with naturallly purple tips and i wear a black leather half shirt and pure black camoflaged pants so I can be sneaky and blend ins with the nightime because im a VAMPIRE. I also wear a sheath for my ritual dagger because I am STANIST and I haf to do rituals with BLODD with the knife. When I wfas a really young kid in da middle of the night i wokes up and there was a burngin red light coming from my hand in the shape of a pentagram and SATAN told me out of it that i was his faveorite creation.

When da other people gets sorted into da prep houses der are 2 weeally cute guys named Legolass and furrick and Darco malfoys in slytheringe. They are really funny and smart- but not nerdy preps llike the greffendooks. When they leave, hermione tells me "Woe does are really hot guys satinine" "Yeah dey are almost as hot as me lol ;-)" "Yeah but ure still da hottest and hotter than me satinina" "Yeah, but I don't kare about outer beuty."

"Your really caring and compassionatne Stanina," sadi Hermione.

"That is because I have a deep understanding of the problems that being too beautiful can cause - everybody thinks that you're shallow just because even though I'm really pretty and I don't dress like a dumb prep because I hate all of them and I want to shop at Hot Topic instead of Aeropostale because I don't like the color pink and it's not cool to make fun of people for things like that because I am a strong woman that has the right to make my own choices about what I wear and who I hang out with and everybody who isn't dumb should respect my choices and some people don't understand why someone so filled with depressing sorrow like me would want to not wear pink just because they think its cool." Wow, sataniina, hermione, you're really deep

"you think so?" I blush happily, but not relly cus I'm derpressed.

"Totes!"

Da cute boy names Finnik comes over to me and smiles. I can see all of his muscles thorugh his ripped MCR tshirt and hsi wearing black eyeliner ut not the sparkly kind cuz thats dfumb. "Do you want to go to the Good Charlotte concert with me in Hogsmaid?" he asks.

"OMS (oh my stain, cuz I'm a Stanist) yes!" I say. He smiles really big and goes off to sit teh with other boys. Hermilne turns to me."Dat's so excting!"

"Ya, i know"

"What are you going to wear?" she says exccitedly.

"I don't know. I hink i shoudl lgo shopping." Do you know any cool storesin the town nextt o hogwares?" (Sory, I don't remember teh name from the movie)

YES! said Hermione happily. "My fav rite stor is in Hogmeade!"

"HOT TOPIC?!" we both sout sexily. Dt is why we are best friends.

A/N: Dat ist he first chapter! Was it good?