Through the Long Night with You
Disclaimer: I still own nothing, except a very loud cat.
AN: I don't know why I can't let this go and write something original, but I'm hoping once this is posted it'll stop running through my head. The story is based on Billy Joel's "Through the Long Night." Originally I assumed Tony would be the logical choice for this story, but I really like the Ziva/Gibbs relationship and I don't write romance well, so…
I know this isn't the best thing written and that others have written similar stories better, but I needed to get it out. Please tell me what you think worked and what felt off. Several people added my last story to their favorites, which is definitely flattering, but let me know what I can do to make it better… please? =)
And if you'd like to write a story inspired by the song I, for one, would love to read it. It just seems so perfect for Ziva this season.
It had been a long day- heck, a long few days, but their current case was finally closed and the paperwork filled out, copied, and filed away. Gibbs was the last to leave NCIS, looking forward to a late dinner and sleep. But as soon as he opened the door to his darkened house his gut had told him that he wasn't the only person there tonight. Gun drawn and moving silently Gibbs descended the stairs to his basement slowly. A soft click from the light bulb illuminated the slight figure sitting against the far wall. He was surprised only that it had taken this long for Ziva to find her way to this moment.
He was impressed with the amount of control she had shown over the last few months since coming back from Somalia. She'd gotten back into the swing of things at NCIS quickly, brushing off the lingering concerns for her well-being and mental state. After a while it had become easier and easier to forget the condition the team had been in just months before. And so it had become easier to miss the signs that Ziva wasn't as 'fine' as she claimed. It was little things that Gibbs had begun to notice, the slight tensing when people brushed past, the surprise when people approached- something that would have been noticed immediately in the past, the drooping shoulders when she thought no one was looking… He could tell that something was coming soon and he had been preparing for this.
Ziva had yet to lift her head from the folded arms she had balanced on her knees although Gibbs knew there was no doubt she was aware of his presence. In practiced movements he walked to the work bench and wiped out two jars for the whiskey waiting on the counter, setting down his gun in the process. He poured two very liberal servings and moved to sit next to Ziva. When she finally raised her tear-streaked face to his Gibbs' heart ached for the sadness he saw in her eyes. Ziva accepted the offered glass with shaky hands and took a large gulp. With a slight cough she set the glass on the floor and drew her knees closer to her chest. Gibbs sipped his whiskey more slowly, waiting for her to make the first move. The slight shaking of shoulders was not what he had been expecting and the soft sobs even less. He brought a hand up to rest on her shoulder, offering what little comfort he could.
As if the touch was the catalyst she needed, Ziva turned to bury her head in Gibbs chest as her sobs increased. Her hands clutched at his shirt in tight fists as he wrapped his arms around her, drawing her close. He knew this was very out-of-character for Ziva and it only increased his worry for her. Ziva wasn't the break down type. He had seen her cry before, but not like this- this was a lifetime of pent up tears and emotion finally getting the release it needed. It was long past due. She had lost her family through acts of violence and her father through betrayal. She had lost her familiar place at NCIS to her past choices, her dignity to Saleem and Somalia, and her homeland in the process. She was angry and scared and uncertain and more vulnerable that she had ever felt before.
Gibbs closed his eyes against the tears threatening to fall down his own face in sympathy. After a while her tears slowed. He pushed damp tangles of hair away from her face and placed a soft kiss on her forehead as she moved away from him. Another quick squeeze and he helped her to her feet. He refused to let her drive home in her current state and so led her to his spare bedroom and tucked her into bed as the father he was to her should. He'd almost made it to the door when her voice, roughened by tears stopped him.
"Thank you- for everything."
He gave her a small smile, "Get some sleep Ziver."
"Cold hands
Sad eyes
Dark Irish silence
So late but I'll wait
Through the long night with you
With you
Warm tears
The bad dreams
Soft trembling shoulders
Your fears but I'm here
Through the long night with you
With you
Oh what has it cost you
I almost lost you a long long time ago
You should have told me
But you had to bleed to know
All your past sins have since past
You should be sleeping
It's all right sleep tight
Through the long night with me
No I didn't start it
You're broken hearted from a long long time ago
The way you hold me is all that I need to know
And it's so late but I'll wait
Through the long night with you"
And later that night when her usual nightmares had her waking with a cry he was there to hold her again. He listened as she started to talk, recounting her time in Somalia in halting sentences. Every act of torture, ever act of violence, every act of intrusion, of dignity and control taken away. And somehow with each declaration she felt lighter, as if by putting it into words she was able to let a bit of its weight, its shame, go. She realized that by holding it in she had allowed it to fester and burn inside, like an infection.
Hours later, words finally spent, she once again drifted off to sleep. Gibbs relaxed against the headboard with her head on his shoulder and tried to let go of the anger he felt at everyone who had contributed to put her in that position- himself included. He tried to let go of the hate he felt towards every person who had hurt the woman in his arms. He promised himself that he would do everything in his power to keep her safe from now on. Dawn began to creep through the window as Gibbs finally dozed off, bathing the room in a soft light. With the dark night now behind him he felt confident that maybe- finally, they could all begin to heal properly.