A/N:Before I continue with this story, I just want to say that I just find this guy funny for some strange reason, and if you could, please tell me if I'm trying to hard to be funny since humor is my weakest point when it comes to writing(I'm not going to make it my focus though.)...So enjoy the rest of this trip?
Disclaimer: I do not own Fire Emblem or it's characters, ya' know, the usual stuff.
The Quest of Gheb: A Legend's Legendary Legend; Part One
"Your looking for commander Gheb?", The knight nodded his head slowly. "Are you sure about that? I heard some rumors that he eats those who dare to interrupt him during his...alone time...To this day I still wonder about what happened to a friend of mine who entered commander Gheb's chambers without permission that one cold, pitch black night...this is why I won't ever go near his quarter again...I might be next...", he lowered his head as he sighed, letting loose a lone tear full of fear and wishes never granted, fall to it's death, forever gone, never to be granted another chance at life. He resisted the urge to let loose the waves that were his tears, but his efforts were in vain.
The knight simply stood there, observing the broken man before deciding it would be best to leave him alone, in the company of his tears. Marching down to the foul demon's nest, a few thoughts flew around in his head.
What if the rumors were true? What would happen to me? Would I survive? He is a tall man...horizontally...Maybe they just hated him so much that they made up empty lies without any thing to fall back on...Hmm...I'm pretty sure I can still outrun him with all my armor...bah, I should stop dwelling on-CRAP!
He stood in front of the magnificent doors that acted as a veil to cover the presence of the demon's lair to the eyes of mankind...He chose to push them open. "Commander Gheb? Sir?" And that's when he saw the beast of a man, a monster who was truly feared by all:
GHEB
Gheb turned around, with a whip in hand, giving the knight a glare that made his blood run cold. "What do you want you insignificant worm? Don't make me squeeze it out of you."
Thoughts of Gheb sitting on him was all he could think about the moment he heard 'Squeeze it out of you'...he was terrified"Uh...I...I...why do you have a whip?", He replied tilting his head to the left before he noticed some children, no older than 6, chained to the wall, their skin revealed to the world bleeding in all the places he could imagine..."W-why...!?", was all he could say...
Gheb noticed that the knight's attention was placed on the children he was busy...disciplining..."Now that you have noticed this...I can not let you live...prepare to breathe your last breath."
"N...never! I won't let a walking tub of grease catch me!" Gheb grinned.
"You forgot...you have 2 points in speed, and I, 6! Prepare to die!" He lunged forward with all his might and yet, he was no faster than an elderly person walking slowly...but it was all he needed in order to catch his prey who was walking with all his power.
The knight finally gave up trying to run and decided it was best to slay this land whale and escape with his life.
I can't believe this! That giant chunk of flesh can outrun me! Why does the RNG Goddess hate me so much! I might as well defeat this demon!
"You'll never be a real human you monster!" Roared the knight as he prepared to engage in combat with the obese warrior known as Gheb.
Gheb Smirked as he grabbed his killer axe and charged forward, for he knew the glory of battle was the only choice left. "You dare raise your pathetic weapon against me!? The man who is the only one capable of carrying Grado to victory!? Prepare to meet me in a glorious battle where you will fall! Be glad that I will be the one who slays you! Say your prayers and ready your body for the one blow that will end your miserable existence! DIE!"
The knight knew the moment he lowered his guard, his efforts to anger the charging elephant would have been for naught. "Have at thee!"
But before he had a chance to ready his defenses, he was struck down by Gheb, the magnificent tactician and warrior, the savior of Grado. "GAAAH!"
Gheb simply watched as the man was fell on the cold, lifeless floor and laid in the puddle of blood that escaped from his crumpled body. "Enjoy that beautiful gash that I have gifted upon you, you foolish idiot..."
"...The Renais twins will stop...your tyranny...you monster who believes...that he is truly a man..." His last words were filled with uncertain hope, for he knew Gheb was Grado's only chance of victory...without him, Grado will slowly, but surely, lose the war.
"Feh, I am Gheb the Divine and Serene. They won't attack me for they surely have heard of my tales of heroism. But if they do...they stand no chance against me in battle." He walked back to the throne and made himself comfy before falling asleep...
2 Hours Later...
"Gheb...you awake?"
Gheb opened his eyes and the closest person they landed upon was Valter the Moonstone. "Ah...General Valter the Moonstone...have you come to retrieve your whip?" Valter simply nodded. "That fool over there," he pointed at the already long dead knight, "Thought that I whipped children, when that was your handiwork, because he found out about them I had no choice but to end his worthless life in order to preserve your secret..."
Valter merely grinned as he took the whip from Gheb and continued whipping the children who were just granted 3 hours of sleep before he continued...
Gheb could only watch as a lone tear made it's way down to the floor.
Don't worry children...I will protect the other kids from the hands of this madman once I gain enough power to defeat him...for now, hold on and don't lose hope for I, Gheb the great and magnificent, the one who will become the first to unite Magvel under one ruler, will save you all one day...
Gheb simply got up, and exited the throne room, bit before he even got the chance to walk 10 feet away from the door he previously exited, he was alerted by a rather nervous looking soldier. "Commander Gheb sir! We've received reports from our scouts and found out that Lord Ephraim and his army are heading this way!" Gheb said nothing as his face slowly grew into a rather displeased look.
"You call that an army? You might as well call yourself a legion"
"We also found a pegasus knight snooping around!" Another soldier appeared from the door that was left open, and has got a girl trying to escape from his hold.
"Let me go! Stop it! That hurts!" She yelled as she struggled to free herself from her captor's grip. Gheb simply eyed her with hungry eyes.
"Oooh...you didn't tell me she was a treat for the eyes. Heheh...I can't wait...
"I-I came for Ephraim. If you do anything to me, he will not be merciful." Gheb couldn't restrain himself from grinning even wider if that was possible.
"I like her...throw her in a cell so I can thoroughly interrogate her later...heheh...you will be interrogated by me later in the evening...I hope your looking forward towards it...hehe...haha...hahahahah..." He licked his lips as he was now obviously leering at her while trying to control his...manly parts...for lack of a better term...
"Y-you monster! I'll never tell you anything!" Gheb finally broke out into a full on laughter as soon as he heard those words, for she knew nothing of the term 'interogate' when he uses it...The soldiers took the pegasus knight to her cell.
The great one simply walked outside to order the rest of his troops to assemble and prepare the castle's defenses...Gheb smirked as he had thoughts of beheading the prince of Renais in front of Tana, who was the captured pegasus knight. "Heh...looks like I'm having a lucky day so far...I hope you can develop a strategy that can stop me! The oh-so fantastic Gheb! I'll crush you insects and your puny kingdom! I AM GHEB! The savior of Grado of course!", He bellowed into the heavens...
Does Ephraim truly stand a chance against Gheb, the savior of Grado, the hero of war, the only one who can free the world of it's heavy shackles of misery and pain?
A/N: Yeah...was this story odd? Pointless? A waste of time? Or did you actually enjoy it? Should I continue? Will Gheb be triumphant? Or will Ephraim snatch victory from the chubby hands of Gheb...?
This entire story except for the first paragraph and the part were Tana was captured, were all just made up as I want along...
Please review and point out any errors if you have the time and thank you for reading this! :D