Disclaimer: Characters belong to Fresh Tv. I own nothing.

~A/N~ I was going to write for Novel Month, but I missed writing fan fiction, so I'm back with a new story. Basically, the summary tells all, so enjoy!

Brainiacs and Bookshelves

Chapter One: The Challenge

The quiet, monotonous buzz of a small fan reverberated in the employee's ears as he peacefully turned the pages of his book, casually absorbing the story like it was his only directive in life. He let out a relaxed sigh and moved his eyes down the page, looking over every word as he reclined in his rolling chair. His red t-shirt folded as the book pressed against his chest, snug and warm like a tucked in child.

"Excuse me," a soft voice interrupted his literary meditation. "Could you help me?"

The employee grumbled to himself and slowly lowered his book into his lap. His face was as plain and dull as humanly possible and showed no signs of interest. He smiled faintly and falsely.

"I'm sorry..." The woman looked at the employee's name tag and squinted in order to read it. "Noah," she finished. "I know you were busy, but I need to know where I can find a copy of 1984."

"No clue," Noah sighed in utter boredom. "Can I read my novel yet, or do you want to keep asking? Trust me, honey, I don't have a clue where anything is in this place." He looked down at his book and went back to reading.

"But you're working here right?" The woman pointed at Noah's red uniform, marked with a golden label and Noah's name. "You're supposed to know where the stuff is."

Noah scoffed. "And you're supposed to know how to use the store's organization system. How about you go back to grade school and learn about the alphabet?"

The woman gasped. "Rude much?" She stomped her foot and hissed. "I need this book for my son's English class and you're not helping, like, at all."

"I don't even like it here," Noah groaned. "What did you expect me to do, hold your hand as we cross the aisles?"

"No," the woman whined incessantly. "I just want to know where 1984 is!"

"Interesting," came a snarky voice from behind the woman. "You're in need of a copy of 1984?"

The woman turned to see a young woman with red hair, glasses, and a rather petite frame. Her eyes were sly and made her to be a calculating woman.

"Uh, yeah," the customer said with caution. "You can find it?"

"Thank God!" Noah sighed in relief. "Scarlett, just get her the book before I pop a vein. She hasn't left me alone in ages."

"That was less than a minute!" the customer said in defense, glaring at the lazy bookworm.

Scarlett grabbed the woman's shoulder and turned her around to stare into her eyes. "Look, ma'am. I know you want 1984, but you don't need 1984. How about one of my picks instead?"

The woman put her hands on her hips and glared at Scarlett, dumbfounded. "But the book's for my son's English class; he'll fail if I don't get it today!"

"Well," Scarlett chuckled. "Take it from me. 1984 is a terrible influence on today's youth. Overthrowing a dictator? Horrible ideology! Fighting the system? A rather shameful act if you were to ask me. Let's be honest here. If I was a world leader and could decide the fate of every human being in existence, would you want to challenge my word?"

The woman slowly inched herself back until she made a dash for the front door. "I'll try another store," she gasped as she pushed her way outside, ringing the bell that was hanging above the doorway.

Noah smiled and looked at his fellow employee. "Nice job, Norman Bates. You just cost us another sale. Congratulations!" He went back to reading his novel.

"And you have no share in the blame?" Scarlett growled. "We would've sold that book if you'd been knowledgeable about the inventory, not that I would've actually sold her that book though. My point: you diminish our sales."

"At least I don't scare the shoppers away," Noah said dryly. "Remember that time you slapped that kid in the face because he sneezed on your leg?"

"There was a flu going around and you knew it!" Scarlett retorted, crossing her arms and glaring at the bookworm. "You also know that I hate getting sick!"

"Whatever," Noah scoffed. "But here's my two cents: if we don't sell books, we get fired. It's not that hard to understand. Hell, just throw in a scolding by the boss while you're at it." He held up his book, still opened. "Now let me finish this chapter."

Scarlett reached over the checkout counter and snapped the book out of Noah's hands.

Noah growled. "Not cool, honey. Not cool."

"Look," Scarlett sighed. "I know we need to sell books, so how about you drop this piece of filth called Harry Potter and get used to socializing with the customers for once. If you do so, I'll work on my... issues. Do you understand?"

"Fine," Noah grumbled. "And keep the book. It's not even mine and I've read it a million times over."

"Good," Scarlett smirked before a beefy hand latched onto her shoulder, causing her to instinctively kick back with her foot.

Behind her, a middle aged man in a bookstore uniform collapsed to the ground and squealed his hands latched to his crotch.

"Nice nut shot, crazy bird," Noah quipped.

"The boss wants you two in his office," the man groaned in pain.

"You heard the man," Scarlett gestured towards Noah to get up. "To the office we go."

Noah rolled his eyes and dragged his frail body out of his chair, limping on his sleeping foot and walking past the downed employee.

Noah and Scarlett took their seats in the boss' office on small, wooden stools. Noah struggled to pull himself onto the chair, so Scarlett grabbed his shirt and yanked him to the top. The two shared a quick glance that read "this is all your fault."

"Alright, guys," the balding man said as he sat in his elegant, leather chair behind the desk. "I bet you two know why you're here. Am I right?"

Noah glanced at the golden plaque that read "Mr. Massey" and smiled. "I sure do, Mr. Massey."

"Really?" Massey said sarcastically. "Enlighten me, brainiac."

Scarlett rolled her eyes and quietly chucked. She knew what Noah would say, and she was ready to refute.

"Well, sir," Noah started, still smiling a false grin. "I hate throwing people under the bus, but sometimes the truth must come out and whoever-"

"It's whomever," Scarlett said, interrupting her partner mid-speech. "Not whoever."

"Wonderful," Noah sighed in frustration. "But to be honest and truthful to you, Mr. Massey, I'll have to let some secrets go. First of all, this is all Scarlett's fault."

"Hold on!" Scarlett replied in offense to Noah's claim. "You're just as guilty. Did you not ignore the needs of the customer in favor of your own?"

"You slapped a kid," Noah said as he narrowed his eyes in frustration. "That's literally all I need in this case."

Mr. Massey watched as Scarlett and Noah, two brilliant minds, tossed their arguments back and forth. Noah brought up Scarlett's past on Total Drama. Scarlett brought up Noah's recent naps on the job. He brought up Scarlett's ignorance towards certain books and their themes. She brought up his playing of video games on the checkout computer. Massey finally had enough and snapped.

"Quiet, both of you!" he bellowed, his guttural scream echoing through the hallways and attracting the attention of a few employees.

Noah and Scarlett froze in mid-conversation and shuddered as the scream rattled them to the core. Both locked eyes with Massey's burning pupils.

"Here's the deal, Drama Dorks," he said in a slightly lower voice. "Our sales have plummeted with that new bookstore opening across the street and I can't pay both of you! Now, you know that means that one of you is halfway out the door, right?"

"Yes, sir," Scarlett said, sitting in perfect posture as Noah snorted arrogantly.

"Good," Massey grunted. "You're both annoying, so I can't decide who to cut. That's why I have a little idea in mind: a game of sorts."

"What do you want us to do, whore ourselves on the street outside?" Noah chuckled. "I know Scarlett would excel at that profession."

"What?!" Scarlett gasped. "I have an IQ of over 180! I'm too valuable to society to be a prostitute." She shuddered at the last word.

"Meh," Noah scoffed. "You'd just have to lure guys into the back room and steal their wallets after slitting their throats. No sex whatsoever."

"I'm not talking about whoring, you wingdings!" Massey shouted. "I'm talking about a competition between each employee to see who can raise the most money in one week. Losers get cut; winners get a raise, small, but still a raise."

"Great," Noah nodded. "So who's playing? I'm asking because the woman to my right isn't exactly fair when it comes to games."

Scarlett rolled her eyes. Inside, she knew she wasn't fair. That didn't bother her a bit. It's who she was. So she smiled. "I know."

"Everyone plays!" Massey yelled in annoyance. "I just said that a few seconds ago!"

Scarlett raised a finger. "Actually-"

"I don't care!" Massey hissed before calming himself. "Here's the deal... again. Starting tomorrow, each employee will try new ways to get business into our store and away from that new book store across the street. We're losing money to that house of hell and I can't afford to pay everyone. So, the person who makes the least goes on a job hunt in the streets of town." Massey froze his glare in place and leaned over the desk to get in the faces of Scarlett and Noah. "Don't let that person be you."

"Oh, it won't, sir," Scarlett smiled, nodding in respect.

He turned to Noah, who shrugged. "Aye-aye, captain."

Massey sighed angrily and slammed his fist on the office desk, scattering papers across the floor. "Just get out of my office, nerds!"

Scarlett bowed and followed Noah outside, closing the door behind her.

"Well, I'm done for today," Noah told his opponent, stretching his arms.

"Really?" Scarlett asked in disbelief. "You mean you didn't give up when you started your shift at checkout?"

"Ha ha," Noah said sarcastically. "You're just lucky that I don't need this job. Winning should be easy for you if you don't stray too far outside the boundaries of the law."

"What?!" Scarlett gasped. "You don't need the job?! Then just quit and save my occupation. Unlike you, I need to work here. It's a condition of my parole."

"And give up a chance to prove my superiority over you? No way, honey."

"But you don't like this job. Logically, quitting is the best option at this point."

Noah chuckled. "I only took this job because my lousy parents wanted me out of the house so I wouldn't laze around in my bed doing nothing all day. It means nothing to me."

"So now you slack around in a chair instead? Not surprising at all, given your anal nature and snobbery."

Both employees stopped walking and locked eyes.

"All you do is sit among the shelves and read anything within arms reach," Noah asserted. "Don't tell me about a snob. I actually talk to people."

"I do too," Scarlett hissed. It was obvious that she was starting to become unsettled. "You just never leave your chair enough to see it."

As Noah was about to retort, Mr. Massey's cacophonous voice echoed down the hall. "Shut up and work, dorks!"

"Yes, sir," Scarlett chimed back before turning to Noah. "Look, Noah, I need this job and nothing will take it from me. So, if you would be willing to stand in my way, I will do whatever it takes to crush you, atom by atom."

"Is that a challenge?" Noah asked slyly. "If it is, I'm ready for battle."

Scarlett flashed an evil grin. "Prepare to burn."

"Challenge accepted," Noah nonchalantly smiled back.

The two geniuses linked hands and eyes, shook on the deal, and departed for their respective shifts.

As Noah walked towards the checkout counter, he eagerly brushed his way past a line of customers and took a seat in his rolling chair. Without even once looking at the people in line, he grabbed his book and began to read the rest of the chapter as the customers' mouths dropped.

Scarlett took a seat on floor in the back of store and pulled a few books from the shelves. She opened a copy of Dictatorships For Dummies and flipped to the third chapter: Torturing Prisoners.

A small child of about seven years walked up and babbled. "Miss, can you help me find my mommy?"

Without speaking a word, Scarlett grabbed a book from the pile and tossed it at the child, hitting him square in the head and knocking him out cold, sending him toppling over.

She leaned back against the bookshelf and continued to read as Noah did the same.

"This is going to be too easy," both Noah and Scarlett whispered to themselves. "Winner's circle, here I come."

~A/N~ Well, I hope that turned out good with some laughs thrown in there. There will only be three chapters to this story, so the plot is pretty simple. Anyways, drop a review if you like it and don't hold back on the constructive criticism.