What if?

Chapter 1

It was supposed to be the happiest day of her life. She was getting married, after all. She loved her fiancée, and they had been going out for the past three years. Everything about the wedding itself was beautiful and very high-class, just like the fairytale wedding she had always dreamed of. There was a huge turn-out, hundreds of people were in the audience. It seemed this was the marriage event of the year. In spite of all this, she couldn't help thinking about who wasn't there.

It wasn't like this was anything new. They had barely spoken in almost two years. Unfortunately, this was the only thing she could think about.

"You ready, Rory?" her grandfather said softly, with a gently squeeze of her hand and a small, almost sad, smile.

She took a deep breath. "Yea," she breathed. In her preoccupation, she could barely get it out.

Her grandfather's smile broadened. He no longer looked sad. He could tell she was nervous. "You'll be fine," he said solemnly. "You're a Gilmore."

She smiled as she walked down the aisle, but it seemed more for show. Each beat of her heart brought on another pang of guilt. I should have invited her. This thought kept flowing through her head, haunting her, making it impossible to enjoy the event. She knew it would be frowned upon to look behind her, but she caught an inconspicuous glance at her bridesmaids following her down the aisle. Her two best friends, Lane Kim and Paris Gellar, were smiling back at her. She knew she should have a matron of honor as well. I should call her, she thought, and not for the first time, although she knew she wouldn't.

She stood there numbly while the preacher went through the standard procedures. Between the rehearsal and the many movies she had seen, she knew exactly what he was going to say. "Lorelai Leigh Gilmore," she hated the sound of her own name at this moment more than she could remember ever hating it before. She used to love her name. "Do you take Logan Huntzburger to be your lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold, to love and to cherish, in sickness and in health, for as long as you both shall live?"

She hesitated. Do I really want to do this? This was not the time to have second thoughts. I don't have to go through with it. I can go home and call her. She's my mother, she should at least know that I'm getting married. Logan will understand. But in reality she knew that she couldn't do that. She just couldn't. So many people had gone to so much trouble to make this wedding a success. She didn't think she had ever seen so many expensive things in one place before in her life. And so many people! It was like the wedding event of the year or something, she couldn't disappoint this many hundred people all at the same time.

Although it seemed like longer, it only took a second for all this to go through her mind. "I do."

Of course, the after party was fantastic. Great food and everything elegant, just like the rest of the event. Everyone stopped to congratulate her. Her friends, family, and just a few too many people she had never seen before. Through all of this, she still couldn't help thinking about the two people who didn't even know this was going on. They used to be two of the most important people in my life.

Only one person at the event seemed to sense her unhappiness. Someone who had some experience herself with family trouble. Of course, nothing quite like this. "Hey Rory, congratulations!" she said on approach. "Wow, I can't believe you're married! It's so… amazing, I guess. Wow."

Rory smiled another believable, yet fake, smile. "I know, Lane. It's wonderful," she replied. She said it halfheartedly, but with some enthusiasm, again, for show.

Lane started to walk away, and indicated that Rory should follow just as she was about to turn away. Leave it to Lane to sneak the bride out of the party and into an empty room without anyone noticing. "Rory, you should call her," she said immediately.

"I know, Lane. I just… can't."

"Why? You two used to be so close. What happened? You have to make up sometime. Why not now, use your getting married as an excuse."

"Lane, she's not going to see this as a happy thing. She never even liked Logan. She's not going to be happy to find out that we're married and I didn't even tell her."

"She's going to find out eventually."

"How?"

"Come on, Rory. She still talks to your grandparents sometimes. There are like three hundred people here, someone's going to tell her. Don't you think it would be better if she found out from you?"

"I know, you're right. But I can't tell her. We've hardly even spoken in like two years. How am I going to call her and say, "Hey Mom, guess what? I just married Logan. I didn't invite you, but I thought you'd want to know."

"Well, that would work."

"No, Lane. It's won't work. I was being sarcastic. I can't tell her, I can't call her. Not now."

"Then I'll do it," Lane said firmly.

"Lane…" Rory whined. "No, not now, please."

"Not now. But I will. Tomorrow. I'll call you on your cell phone to tell you how it went."

"Lane, you are not going to call me on my honeymoon to tell me how newly upset my mother is with me. I would like to enjoy it."

"I'll leave you a voicemail message after I tell her. I promise I'll keep it brief. Call me for the details if you want."

"Fine," Rory sighed.

"Why didn't you invite her? I mean, I know you aren't exactly getting along great, but couldn't you just invite her and ignore her?"

"No. She wouldn't be happy. I wouldn't be happy. All these people, all the stuff she hates. It's better like this, trust me. Now I should really go back to the party, I'm the bride."

"Fine, but one more thing. You can't tell me you don't wish she was here, can you?"

Rory gave a tiny shake of her head, and an even tinier sad smile, and went back to the party.

"Can you believe it, Ace? Hawaii! I mean, I've been here before but man, this is so much better! I mean, we're on our honeymoon, can you believe it?" Logan was a little excited when they got to their hotel room.

Feeling a little better now that they were away from all the people, noise, and money, Rory replied, "Yea, It's wonderful." It was only partially halfhearted, and Logan didn't even notice.

"So, what do you want to do? Unpack, go to the bar and hang out, are you hungry? We could eat. I think I saw a casino downstairs somewhere, we could hang there for awhile. Or we could just go to bed," he said with a slight smirk.

Rory caught it. "I'm actually kind of tired. Big day, you know?"

"Oh, okay. I liked that option, too," Logan said, grinning.

"No Logan, I'm serious," Rory said, with a small giggle. I really do want to go to bed."

"Oh, okay. You're no fun. We're on our honeymoon, remember?"

"I know, Logan. I'm just tired."

"Yea, fine."

After dinner the next night, Rory checked her voicemail. She had a message. Sure enough, it was from Lane.

"Hi Rory, it's me. Uh, I told her. Call me back if you want, otherwise I'll see you when you get back."

"Wow, she wasn't kidding about the 'brief' part," Rory said out loud.

"What?" Logan asked, smiling.

"Oh, it's nothing. Just Lane."

"Oh, okay. Everything alright?"

"Oh yea. She just said she'd call and she did." She was keeping it light, she was on her honeymoon. But she had visions of how it went when Lane told Lorelai. She didn't like any of them.