Simply the Thing I Am, Shall Make Me Live
Beta-read by: Reiko x 3 (20th March 2013)
Summary: A trio's mission: Save Gaia, people who died in the games, & take a chance at a second life. Easy part: They have foreknowledge. Hard part: Bad time twists & making sure Goddess Minerva doesn't label them as a another Jenova. FFVII timeline/Self-Insert
Title Disclaimer: 'Simply the Thing I Am, Shall Make Me Live' is from a quote of Shakespeare's All's Well Ends Well.
Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy VII nor ANYTHING by Square Enix or ANY copyrighted products/quotes/etc that are in this WHOLE fanfic. I write for personal enjoyment as well for others, thus I'm not making any profit from this fic. The only things I own are the plot, as well as the depictions of me and my friends. I will NOT repeat this disclaimer again and in future chapters refer to the first disclaimer.
Author' s Note: This fic is a dedication to my best friends. xD I know I'm guilty in writing a self-insert, but a gamer can dream to at least want to interact with their favorite game characters and the adventure with it, right? First fic~! May make mistakes with grammar (English as second language) and please tell me of any typos if I missed any!
Besides, I wanted to try mixing and exploring with ideas and plots that haven't been tried before. One of them is an alive Zack, but I'll keep my mouth shut on 'special' others. XD I'll add that character later on to my summary fic label as the story progresses.
On with the fic!
Enjoy~!
~ Chapter 1: A Legacy of an Alternate Universe ~
"I think that everything I've ever done at some point is part of someone else's legacy." ~Liev Schreiber
If you had a choice whether it was better to die or live, what would be your choice?
Die, because you knew that it was your time to sleep peacefully in your grave and you had that gift of salvation...
Or would you live, knowing and having future knowledge that it wasn't going to be pleasant walk in the woods, and with every single corner you would have to suffer. Would you take hold of whatever consequences you took because of a single decision?
Well you know what?
I chose to live.
The bad part was, that 'chance' happened to be that I had to live in a Final Fantasy 7 game that I knew there would be (without a doubt) a lot of pain and excruciating experiences ahead. I mean, I know many gamers would've been thrilled to in hopes that perhaps in the 'end' they'd get back home. In my case...I was never going return home.
There was no 'Earth' to return to.
I was dead.
It didn't really help that I was on an extreme deadline in making decisions.
For one, I wasn't alone in this... However, what decision I made over my friends ended being my responsibility as well. One part of my brain, the logical side, was lecturing me that I was stupid to actually agree to dragging my friends into the whole mess because I decided we're all going to live again (and somehow the 'child' in me was giddy to live a fantasy game). The other part was saying I did the right thing, if there was anything I could do... was to make sure my friends lived somehow even if it meant I was going to die trying.
So... the magic question comes up...
How was life now?
For the moment...
Maybe I should have shut my big mouth up and died peacefully.
A five day migraine (and don't know when it'll stop) would to that to you.
Not counting the time paradoxes or any butterfly effect occurrences to figure out afterward...
UGH.
You see, this all started off when the three of us, Ryan, Rika, and I were coming back from our long vacation. We were all fresh out finishing our degrees at college at the same year, and we decided to take a backpacking trip across the States as a celebration. Three months of camping out and visiting numerous tourist places, we were finally heading home by plane to start looking for jobs – start a new stage in life. Sadly, we never did get a chance–all I remembered was that the plane had engine problems–the three of us sitting in a row holding hands and bracing for our doom.
That's when moments later I woke up.
I was worse for wear, I realized I was very tired, and wanted to sleep for good. Like forever.
It was then I realized: how the hell was I sleepy when I was dead?
I cracked an eye, then the other.
What I saw when I opened them then totally left me breathless. A sea of stars surrounding me, one in front of me was the Milky Way, and from my eyes it was the size of a huge tour bus. I didn't know how I felt at the time... confusion, peace, panic, and even blank at the same time. Yet, I was pretty sure this wasn't Heaven or Hell. If those two did exist anyway... Does it matter?
"Perhaps not."
If the whole star gazing thing surprised me, seeing a really hot (blame my male hormones) and amazingly beautiful goddess just flashing into being behind me shocked me so much that I fell on my ass spectacularly. I felt stupid and foolish as abruptly I try to stand up again with red rising from my neck to my cheeks. I tried to straighten myself out along with the t-shirt and jeans I was wearing, choking down the embarrassment with what dignity I had. I had thoughts that I might as well throw my ego out – at least was left of it.
She giggled softly at me, but with the sadness I saw through her eyes... I had an uncanny feeling she wasn't around to comfort me.
I blinked again and then I knew I've seen her somewhere before.
"You recognize me."
"Are you... Cosmos?" I blurted out.
My memory kicked in as the Goddess of Harmony in the Dissidia Final Fantasy games looking very identical in her white dress with golden linings and that ethereal white glow–but on impulse I gave a wary look and started to look for cameras. I had to be dreaming! Maybe this was some crazy, sick, demented joke that some cos-players set up for me. I wasn't even supposed to be alive!
"Yes I am, Issac Anders. This is not a dream. You are dead."
My eyes glazed a moment as it were going to spill out, but I forced myself to hold the tears back knowing that I wasn't alive. Words like weak,pathetic and idiot replayed in my head as I barely manage to croak out, "What does a Goddess from a game want with me?" It came harsher then I intended to, but my emotions were all over the place, rationality be damned. I wasn't exactly happy either when pity came as her eyes softened at me, but a sudden flash of blurring images that went through my mind as quick as a blink. Thousands of memories as planets, races, and creatures... and as soon as it started it came to a halt.
"You're real." I trembled out of fear that my mind was going to go insane. Forget she knew my name in the first place, I was too busy keeping myself sane; my consciousness intact. She read my mind like it was nothing.
"I'm sorry. You wouldn't have believed me if I had not done so. Our time is short."
A gulp went down my throat. There was a catch, there always was. I've learned that in knowing, reading any sort of fiction that when Gods or Deities wanted something from you there were pros and cons. Mostly cons when it came the real tragic fates. Maybe it's better to disagree on any offer that she would ask of me. Being dead was easier. I didn't have to do anything anymore.
"What do you want from me?"
She doesn't say anything, but two balls of light appear besides her forming into two people. My best friends.
"You decide. Do you all wish to live... or die?"
Seeing the sleeping forms of my friends, I calmed down, but nervousness made me twitchy. "It's never that simple is it?" She shook her head. After a while the rational part of my brain was finally working. "Fine–I'll listen. But– I'd like a good explanation on what you want me–us to do."
"To save Gaia. In turn, you have a chance at life that you were stripped of." Cosmos looked to my friends. "You will not go alone, and I will bless you with power and knowledge to aid you."
I ran my hand through my short brown hazel hair frustratingly. When I thought of Final Fantasy VII she only nodded at me saying it was the world I was supposed to save. Still, I didn't get it at all. Why was she going to be so kind about this? If this was about saving Gaia, then wasn't The Planet/Goddess Minerva responsible instead? Why did she want the three of us here? It made no sense at all.
"Minerva is just one of many of my children that exist in the universe I am in. She does not know I sought to help her. I failed to do so the first time, resulting in her losing what is left of the Cetra."
This time, my curiosity took hold of me. I totally was going head-over-heels and I needed to know more. If the Goddess Minerva was the voice of the Planet, then Cosmos was the mother of the Universe. Wait–did she just said failed the Cetra? It dawned on me she was referring to Jenova, the Calamity of the Skies. However, the part of 'her universe' immediately made me ask, "So you're from an alternate universe?" A light nod. "It doesn't explain how you can just grab a person from another universe and make them exist."
"It's because you, Ryan, and Rika do exist in my universe. More importantly, I was your patron." Guilt evident on her face.
'WHAT?'
I wasn't shocked at all about another 'me' existing in another alternative universe–the part of being my patron, yeah–but the fact she said it in past tense... clearly told me it didn't ended with a happy ending.
"I'm assuming we/they died... and that was– what? 2000 years ago?"
Geez, it is weird talking about yourself in third person!
"I've preserved their/your bodies into a new state, but, unfortunately, I can never revive their souls ever again. For a long time they served me well in fighting for what is Good. Nonetheless, Jenova in her celestial body form was too much to handle. The reason she was able to be sealed away, was because you three had made her far weaker before she had managed to land on Gaia."
Okaaay, so the other 'me' was actually some hero or whatever in her universe. But then again, there was no information about Jenova's past in the games. It kind of made sense that someone was fighting her before, considering there were stories of her taking over planets and life forms as she traveled the universe and destroyed everything in her way. Hearing that the 'me' here failed in stopping her, somehow felt like it was my unfinished business. I never liked not finishing something I started, but that was way too weird to care about a 'me' I didn't even know about!
Shaking my head, I think I lost it.
Laughter. "You're very similar to Issac Anders that I know and love. As are Ryan and Rika who have fought with him."
That gaze she gave me was enough to remind me of my mom when she smothered and praised me in doing something good. I was sure that she included my friends with that look.
"I've waited and searched for too long for you three from another Universe. Those with the right knowledge of the future, even if it was a mere fantasy in your world. It is crucial that you knew foreknowledge and as well as the past of Gaia. Endless alternative universes exist but so little fall into what I'm searching for, and I'm not allowed to take those who still live."
"Hold on– You said something about the past? I-I mean I know about the events that's going to happen until Dirge of Cerberus– but a past?"
"That as well. I had to make sure you would accept the past too."
I gave Cosmos a questioning look as to what could be the past.
"How do you think one could have tried to stop Jenova if she was a parasitic celestial being?"
"Intergalactic space civilization?" I said unsure, as the first thing came to mind was like Star Wars or Star Trek.
"Correct."
And here, I thought my other 'life' or 'me' could get any crazier. Heh. As if. I decided to play along. Now I knew better to scoff at anything that screamed impossible. Fantasy is not reality does NOT compute. "Anime, Manga, TV show, game, cartoon, comic, or book?"
"Game. Star Ocean series. More specifically for you three, the third one."
My jaw was left hanging wide for 10 long seconds, before I shut it. Riiight.
The Star Ocean series was a famous RPG that had to do with space travel and everything. Not surprised at all if Square Enix was behind the making. Most of the game was not turned based but real time. Instead of Materia, they used Symbology for magic abilities which was what they believe it was the language of the universe or the 'DNA' language in all living beings. Depending on what character, they had a different abilities or spells. I remembered the major three Symbols that played main roles in the plot: Connection, Alteration, and Destruction.
"However there is a misinformation in your universe. The other Symbol is not Connection, but Creation."
"So the processes of the Symbols are a representation of how the universe came to be and comes to an end to be reborn again." I nod. Now that sounded like the Alchemy theory in Full Metal Alchemist.
"Yes, you all each have the allocated Symbols." She pointed to Ryan. "Creation." Then his sister. "Alteration."
Then to me.
"Destruction."
Crap.
I was afraid of that.
The main character of SO3, Fayt, kinda got the 'tragic power' where normal people would just label you as a monster because you had the 'über mojo destructo' power. Just my luck the other 'me' got it too. Now I was having second thoughts; I might as well back off of the deal. I didn't want that sort of power! If you don't know about the game, let's just say Fayt destroyed an enemy spaceship (as a human) because he lost control over his emotions at one part of the game. Overwhelming fear washed over me if I hurt others with that power.
"You need not fear. It will only activate in times of dire need." I still wasn't convinced by her comforting words. Cosmos then gently placed her hands on my shoulders and I faced her eyes. "If you reject my offer, I understand. I will leave you to eternal rest. If you agree, know that you are there to save more lives than what you know will come to pass. As well for the future generations of Gaia."
Selfless or selfish, I didn't know what I was supposed to do. If I chose to die, I didn't have to go through all that crap–but at the same time, I was denying the people who could be saved like Zack and Aerith, not to mention Midgar from Meteor and more others. My friends would probably hate me for taking over the decision making, but I was sure Cosmos only wanted me to settle it. If not, she would have woken them both earlier. I knew I needed to make my decision, but I wanted to confirm one last thing.
"And after all this ends? Then what?" I asked.
I didn't want to end up as a tool being thrown away once I ended my time of use. For some reason I didn't want that to happen to the other 'me' who I was going to be as on Gaia. After trying so hard to fight Jenova and dying for it... it just didn't put me on ease he didn't get any closure or reward for the effort (even if I'm inhabiting his body; as confusing as that sounds).
"Your life is Yours to live." Cosmos said. "For all they've done, I had planned for them to live life the way they wish after fighting Jenova. That reward never came as Jenova still lives. Their hopes, dreams, and legacy will be yours. You are the proof they lived."
After hearing that, now I was hesitating to reject her offer. Shit. Why did she have to use Zack's words? I'm a total sucker for heroic speeches. Damn. The fan boy in me was totally going for it. "About what you said... we'll have knowledge and power..."
"Your fighting skills will need to be trained back to what it was before you died."
That made sense if the other 'me' in the past was capable of fighting.
"Your knowledge is far more advanced in technology. Use it with great caution, but with it you can save Gaia. Minerva will not know I sent you to help, so be careful in your endeavor."
I understood she meant that I could give someone like Reeve ways to use alternative energy besides Mako Energy since in this Universe I came from a civilization that was already traveling in space.
"What is your choice?"
"I want to live."
At the present...
Getting wiped out literally by information alone isn't actually as embarrassing as you might think when compared to getting incapacitated by a monster. It kinda makes you realize that humans are made to hold only so much information in their heads.
"Issac? Are you monologing?" My best friend groaned on the other bed collapsed tiredly in no better condition than I was. I think he meant I was speaking out my mind too loudly: monologue.
I shrugged as my brain wasn't working properly at the moment. "I blame it on the intel overload we received from Cosmos." I was sure his brain wasn't working properly either. "Is 'monologing' even a word?"
A long pause before a reply. "Beats me, I'm not thinking at all." His voice was then strained. "So, Final Fantasy VII, huh?"
"Could have been worse, Ryan." I answered not faring well with the headache still pounding at me like a relentless boxer to a sandbag. "If we were in FFXIII the plot would be more tragic and the sequel about the time paradox thing– I have no way figuring out that one. I don't think there was a happy ending in the first place." I shuffled my dead weight body to face him. "How's your sister?" I couldn't see my other best friend, who I counted as my sister, because she was lying on another bed behind Ryan effectively out from my vision.
"Rika's been sleeping like a Medusa victim since we got here." He huffed. "Still breathing, but out of it. Her Symbol is making it hard for her–being all about change and all. Not as stable as ours." While Ryan said it in a tired tone, I couldn't help but feel the guilt on the inside. I was certain he was frustrated I made the choice for him to live when he would have better off dead.
"Sorry." That was all I could say.
Ryan sighed. He turned his back on me and lied on the bed towards his sister. "Whatever. I'm still angry at you... but I'll suck it up later. I... just need more rest."
I didn't say anything afterward. I knew he needed his space. On the other hand, I might as well focus on resting and recovering first. Life is a struggle, and reality has always been the slap on the face. It's actually no wonder at times there was a saying that death was better than sleeping.
"I do not feel I have a legacy to protect." ~Bret Easton Ellis
TBC...
Well, I've seen some really great SIs out there, so I decided to try out the plot/what if character: WHAT IF you existed in an alternate dimension and you had to finish an unfinished business that the 'you' failed to do? Since Jenova's past is vaguely explained in the games, I intend to explore it in the fic.
I decided that here, Minerva isn't the one pulling the strings but Cosmos. Still Final Fantasy series. =)
Ah, the intro... tell me what you think! Comments, opinions, questions, advice are welcomed!
If you happen to write a SI yourself I'd love to hear what your opinions are. So don't forget to review~! XD