If You Need Someone to Love You
Summary: Jenny/Jethro. Pre-Paris. Jenny finds Jethro alone at NCIS late one night on the anniversary of Shannon and Kelly's deaths. Will she be able to ease some of his pain?
Oneshot songfic to 'Here I Am' by Leona Lewis.
I really have to apologise here for my lack of updates and the fact that I've been completely abandoning the Jibbs fandom here. I don't really have an excuse, just that my muse has been absent for far too long now, especially when it comes to Jibbs ideas. However, I've been watching S3 re-runs and slowly reawakening my muse. I can't promise to update any of Jibbs WIPs anytime soon but hopefully I should be posting more oneshots and songfics in the near future. Thanks to everyone who loyally reads and reviews my Jibbs fic, I really appreciate it and I'm sorry for the hiatus. I hope you enjoy this songfic, reviews are appreciated! Take care! Vikki. Xx
NCIS Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs had watched his team pack up and leave as another working day had ended. It had been a fairly average day to be honest, there had been a little progress on a case they were working on involving a missing petty officer but other than that, things moved slowly. Jethro would rather have had a major investigation to sink his teeth into, to help him forget what day it was and the emotions that had plagued him all through his shift. His co-workers seemed to be acting differently around him today and it almost seemed as if they knew, but Jethro knew that was impossible. He would be glad when this day was over and, in theory, he could go back to his usual self.
Once the squad room had emptied out and the lights had dimmed, Jethro reached into the bottom drawer of his desk and drew out a bottle of bourbon and a chipped glass tumbler. He looked around to check that he was alone before pouring a generous measure into his tumbler. He sipped the liquid and let out a sigh of relief as the bourbon slid down his throat, lighting a glorious fire within him as he did so.
"Drinking on the job, Agent Gibbs?" A familiar voice asked from somewhere behind him, making him jump and nearly choke on the bourbon.
"Jen?" He turned around to face the woman who had spoken. "What are you still doing here?"
Jenny ignored his use of the nicknamed she hated; she had discovered this was the best way to deal with it. "I could ask you the same question," She put the files she had been carrying down and perched on the edge of his desk. "You know, they have bars where you can drink that," She paused as she sniffed the open bottle. "...Stuff, rather than bringing it to the office."
Gibbs couldn't resist a smile. "It's better than being at home and I don't fancy being around people tonight." He finally admitted.
Jenny reached out and placed a hand on Gibbs' shoulder, slightly surprised at the way her body naturally wanted this intimacy with him. If she was honest she had wanted to touch him; to hold him for a long time now but she sensed that these circumstances were not right tonight. Something was up with Jethro and she had no idea how to begin to find out what it was. Gibbs looked around in surprise at the light touch on his shoulder; he was surprised at how right it felt even though this was totally the wrong time to be experiencing an emotion like this. Feeling guilty, Gibbs shrugged her hand away and was surprised once more to see a look of hurt in Jenny's green eyes. She said nothing in reply but brought her chair closer so that she was sitting opposite him.
"Are you going to offer me some or what?" She asked, the hurt replaced by a light in her eyes now.
Gibbs considered this, lifting the bottle and studying the contents. He really wanted to be alone with his bourbon but having Jenny spend time with him seemed like a much brighter alternative.
"Okay, fine." He muttered, pulling out another glass and pouring Jenny a measure of the alcohol.
"Thanks," She replied, her eyes never leaving his as she took the glass from him and sipped at the liquid. Even Gibbs couldn't suppress a smile when he saw the disgusted look on her face. "Oh my God, it takes like something I'd clean my oven with!" She exclaimed, pushing the drink away from her.
"Come on, Jen, it's not that bad."
She shrugged. "I suppose not, it made you smile at least." She said, picking up the glass again and taking another sip. "Hmm, it's not so bad I suppose."
Gibbs smiled again. "It's an acquired taste, Jen." She looked up at him, her eyes meeting his and she realised that maybe he wasn't just talking about the bourbon.
"Is there something on your mind?" Jenny finally asked after the silence began to stretch out between them. She was beginning to feel a little light headed and blamed it on the fact that the bourbon was actually starting to grow on her.
Gibbs looked up in surprise, wondering why the question had caught him off guard. Maybe it was because he had been beginning to relax in Jenny's company.
"No, nothing," He said quickly; too quickly.
"Are you sure?" Jenny asked, not wanting the press the issue but wanting Jethro to know that she was concerned; that she cared. She had been beginning to feel something more and more strong for him.
"I'm sure," He replied, hoping his eyes didn't betray him as he fought to keep his voice steady. He liked Jenny a lot, and he did trust her but he wasn't sure he wanted to tell her everything. He hadn't even shared this with his close friend Ducky.
"Okay, well, I think I should be heading home Jethro," She said, reaching forward and covering his hand with her's.
He wanted to stall her to make her stay with him for longer, her company and the alcohol in his system were helping to banish some of the thoughts and feelings that had been haunting him all day.
"I'll take you home," He offered seeing Jenny stumble a little as she went to her desk to retrieve her coat and purse.
"Maybe that's a good idea," Jenny agreed as she gripped the edge of her desk. As they made their way to the elevator, Gibbs guided Jenny with a hand to the small of her back.
Gibbs pulled up outside Jenny's house and killed the engine. He and Jenny sat in silence for a while, neither of them wanting to end the evening yet. Jenny leaned over and kissed his cheek.
"Thank you for the lift," She said, and then smiled. "And for the bourbon, I think."
Gibbs smiled at this; the place where Jenny had kissed him was still tingling. She reached out, her hand resting on the door but still she lingered for a while longer.
"Do you want to come in?" She asked, looking out of the window as she spoke. His rejection would be easier if she didn't have to look at him.
He sighed, and then looked over at her. "Yes, I would."
Jenny looked back at him and smiled before pulling her keys out of her purse. Jethro followed her up the path to her front door and it felt good to be bringing a man home for the first time in a long while.
While Jenny made a pot of coffee in the kitchen, Jethro sat in the living room. He absorbed the room, everything here was so 'Jenny' and it made him feel like he knew her better. He actually smiled when Jenny came back into the room, a mug of coffee in each hand. He took one from her and sipped at the hot liquid gratefully.
"The coffee's good, Jen." He said, as she sat down next to him on the sofa. Close enough so that he could smell her perfume, her shampoo and the faint aroma of bourbon but not so close that he felt she was invading his personal space.
Jenny said nothing, but smiled softly in reply. After a few minutes to relaxed silence, Jenny set her mug down on the coffee table by her side, leaning around to face Jethro. She wondered what it would like to kiss now, right here in her living. She was convinced he would taste good, with the mixture of bourbon and coffee and he always smelled faintly of soap and sawdust. She suddenly wondered why she was just thinking about kissing him and not actually acting on the impulse. She closed the distance between them, crawling over to him and pressing her lips against his. Jethro supported her body with one hand and cupped her face with the other. He knew he had to end the kiss, it was wrong, especially today of all days but right now it felt so good.
"Jenny," He said softly, pushing her away from lightly, one hand still remained cupping her cheek.
"I'm sorry," She replied, blushing and looking away.
Gibbs smiled. "What did I say about apologising?"
"Sign of weakness," Jenny replied, smiling now too but still unable to meet his eye.
Jethro became serious again. "Jen, it's not that I don't want this," He said, tilting her face so that she had no choice but to look him in the eye. "Just not tonight, okay?"
Jenny smiled wryly, looking away and looking for a way to worm out of Gibbs' arms.
"If I had a dollar for every time a man has said that to me..."
"I'm serious, Jen, any other night but not tonight." He paused. "Please,"
Jenny sighed. "Are you sure you're okay Jethro, I've never seen you act like you have today."
It was Gibbs' turn to look away from Jenny's probing eyes now. "Today isn't a good day for me," He explained but he didn't know if he wanted to go into any more detail; if he could. "It's the anniversary of," He paused. "...A difficult time for me."
Jenny looked at him with concern. "Do you want to talk about it?" She asked, giving up her struggled and leaning against Gibbs.
Gibbs laughed harshly. "Not really, no."
Jenny rested her head against Gibbs' shoulder. "Okay, but if you ever want to..."
"Thanks for the offer, Jen." Gibbs said, aware of the weight of her head on his shoulder, it felt good. "I think I should be getting home."
At the door, Gibbs gave Jenny a quick kiss on the lips. Maybe tonight, with the memory of her, his nightmares wouldn't be quite so bad.