A/N: This is my first Scrubs story so it may be dodgy! But I had a fun time writing it so it's all good. I've only seen maybe half of the first season here in Australia, so bear with me if I don't get some details right or if something I've written has been on the show already (which I doubt, but hey it could happen!) Thanks for wanting to give it a read, and any reviews would be great, I love getting feedback.

Disclaimer: The concept and characters of 'Scrubs' don't belong to me. They belong to people whose names escape me at the moment, but I assure you they're theirs!

My Usual Day

BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!

"I'm awake! I'm awake! Just resting my eyes for the…oh, okay, alarm clock going off not beeper."

I reach over to switch it off, but in my sleepiness push the volume button up instead.

BEEEEEEP! BEEEEEEEP! BEEEEEEEP!

Ahhh! Pain! Ears…bleeding…slowly.

CLUNK!

There we go, much better. Who needs the off button when a swift throwing at the wall is all that's needed? Alarm clocks have got to be one of the best and worst things ever invented. Do you remember that really lame old joke about the alarm clock? 'Why did the boy throw his clock out the window? To see time fly.'…Yeah. That'll be me one day. Look out below.

******************

After standing in the shower for a good ten minutes making my hair stick out in funny hairstyles with the soap, and having a shave (well pretending to anyway, I've seen babies with a better five o'clock shadow than me), I get some breakfast.

Turk's already in there with his huge bowl of Frosty Flakes. Putting spoonful upon spoonful of sugar on his cereal. Humming. Looking ready and raring for the day.

Stupid annoying morning person.

"Hey Turk."

[Flash Cut of Turk dressed up as Tony the orange Frosty Flakes tiger.

"Heeeeeey JD! Grrrrrrreat morning, it's Tiiiiiiiiigeriffic!"]

"Yeah. I need coffee. Now. Uh Turk, want some cereal with that sugar?"

"I dunno JD, want some ugly with that face?"

What?

"What?"

"I have no idea."

"Did Carla stay over last night?" I ask looking around for her.

"Nah, spent time with her mom. And since that lady scares the crap out of me, I figured my own place would be better."

I realise we're going to be late, so we grab our backpacks and run out the door. Not before giving Rowdy a little pat on the head first of course.

"Good boy Rowdy! Good boy! No barking, moving or breathing okay?"

Heh. I crack myself up.

*****************

Sacred Heart Hospital. The place where miracles occur daily, and people have life saving surgery. The place where babies are born and diseases are cured. The place where…

SPLASH!

…The place where daydreaming interns walk into nurses with full bedpans and get urine soaked all over them. Great. I smell like a toilet. Oh, even better. People laughing at me.

[Flash Cut of surrounding doctors and nurses dressed up in school clothes pointing and laughing at little JD with his shirt untucked, school cap on backwards and wet pants.

"Ha, ha! You peed yourself!"

"JD's a stupid pissy pants!"

"JD's a baby! JD's a baby!"

Little JD starts crying.

"Shut-up, I hate you! I'm telling my mom!"]

I need clean clothes.

Thankfully there's spares in my locker. I get changed and scoop up the wet clothing, walk out the door to take them to a laundry hamper…and bump into the Janitor.

"What are you trying to do Scooter? Give me your dirty clothes? Do I look like a maid?"

"No I, uh, the pants accidentally got urine on them and…"

"Oh, so you thought it'd be funny to wipe it on me. 'The Janitor's already stinky, let's put pee on him it won't make a difference'."

"No! I didn't mean to…"

"Save it Scooter. You'll get what's coming to you."

He walks off with his trolley glaring at me, eyes unblinking.

Note to self: Use mirrors to look around corners today.

*****************

Alright. Apart from the bedpan and Janitor incident, the rest of the morning has been a breeze. A few sprains, a few broken bones, a couple of coughs and chest pains. Like a walk in the park really.

"Hey, Newbie!"

"Dr Cox, you haven't paged me once today, where's the love?"

"Shut it with the hearts and flowers talk Cindy. We need to be in the Emergency Room about oh, yesterday."

I race after Dr Cox, and find myself thrown straight into the pits of hell. It seems today was the day everyone chose to crash their car, get into a knife fight, severe their finger…you name the injury it was there.

That walk in the park I was talking about before. It just got ploughed down and had an apartment complex built over it.

It was like a patient doctor ratio of one to ten in there. Everybody needs you at the same instance.

[Flash Cut of patients seen in the waiting room dressed up as baby birds in a giant nest, yelling out madly to mother bird JD.

"Chirp, Oww! I need a doctor!"

"Painkillers, I want painkillers, Chirp!"

"Chirp chirp, we need medical attention NOW!"

JD mother bird has a large band aid in his mouth instead of a worm, and can't decide which baby patient bird to give it to first.]

It's hard to maintain a reassuring, friendly doctor/patient relationship in Emergency Room situations sometimes. Mainly because half the people who arrive are unconscious or nearly dead, waiting for you to make their heart monitor surge with the jagged lines of life again. I never knew I could be so blasé speaking about death, but that's the cold reality of being a doctor. For every wonderful moment you see a patient live or cure them of their illness, there's a few that don't make it. You grieve in your own bizarre professional way and move on. Because you can't allow yourself to go over the 'what ifs' of the situation. Having said that, I still get slightly upset sometimes. I'm still human…a very manly human…full of masculine emotions.

*****************

After what seems like an eternity in the Emergency Room things have gotten somewhat less hectic. So I take a chance and head towards the Canteen for lunch.

Hmm, what delicacies are in store for me today? Let's see, I think that swirling pot of grey water is soup, those shrivelled red intestine looking things are hot dogs, I'm guessing that weird looking mass of meat is…some sort of meat? Aardvark maybe.

Okay, pre-packaged food it is!

Oh good, there's Carla and Turk. I'll sit with them.

"So I was like totally in her pants!"

Oh good God, Todd the hand slapper is with them. Maybe I can make a quick getaway if I just…

"JD! Hey over here!" Turk's waving me over.

Dammit.

"Oh hi guys. Didn't see you there."

Don't make eye contact with Todd. Don't make eye contact with Todd. Ooh, there's a nickel on the floor!

"JD dude! You got a pretty big banana there on your tray. We all know what you're trying to hint at man!"

"That I'm potassium deficient?"

I confused him…I think I got myself out of a fiver! Go me, go me, it's my birthday…

"Oh, oh I see what you did there buddy! Good one, high-five!"

Sigh. I hold my hand up ready for the smack down.

[Flash Cut of Todd with a gigantic hand high-fiving JD in slow motion, but with a lot of force. JD's hand snaps off his wrist and goes flying into the grey soup.

"At least it might taste better now…"]

*****************

Back to it.

A bit of diagnosing here, a stich or two there. I'm really getting the hang of this doctor thing now. Why is my patient looking at me in fear? Whoops, must have said that last part out aloud. Not too comforting for them when I say stuff like 'doctor thing'.

"It's okay Mrs Green don't worry, I'm extremely qualified."

I finish terrifying my elderly patient (good one JD) and look up just in time to see the Janitor staring at me through the window. He's miming strangling gestures at me. Help. And I thought ordinary mimes were scary.

"JD! Hey JD, I need to talk to you."

Elliott's calling me over to the front desk looking stressed, which is a nice change from hyperactively stressed.

"Elliott. What can me and my manly biceps do for you?"

"Shut-up, this is serious. You know what I was thinking just then?"

"Why is abbreviation such a long word?"

"Jaaaaay-D!"

"Okay, sorry. What were you thinking?"

"What if something happened to me? What if one day I was making my way to the Hospital then all of a sudden BOOM! I get hit by a bus and get amnesia. I couldn't be a doctor anymore. What would I do? It's all I know how to do!"

Now you may think this conversation is really weird. But it's Elliott we're talking about. She thrives on adding stress and worry to her day. It's like chocolate for her. I notice a patient chart in her hands.

"Elliott, have you just treated someone who may have amnesia?"

"No…well maybe, yeah."

"You've got to stop worrying so much. You don't need to stress yourself out all the time over things that may never happen."

"But how do you know that? This patient didn't wake up this morning and think 'hey wouldn't it be great to lose my mind today?'"

"Elliott, breathe. No one knows what's going to happen to them in the future. And I promise if you ever actually get amnesia for some absurd reason, your brain would probably have a nice relaxing vacation."

She looks at me and smiles. I think some of my mumbo-jumbo sunk in!

"Thanks JD. I know you're right, I just worry over dumb things sometimes don't I."

"Yeah, but don't mention it."

[Flash Cut of JD hanging a psychiatry diploma on the wall, and standing back looking at it proudly]

I amaze myself sometimes.

"Your advice stunk Scooter."

GAH!

[Diploma falls off the wall and shatters on the floor]

Stupid Janitor.

*****************

Oh joy. Here comes Dr Kelso, the man every good Satan worshipper should fear.

"Hey there Sport, you're going to do a job for me."

I hate that word now. 'Sport'. Every time I hear it I involuntarily shudder, which is pretty annoying when you watch a lot of it on TV. I look like I have a nervous tic.

"Ah, actually Dr Kelso, Dr Cox wanted me to do some things for him this afternoon and…"

"Oh I'm sorry Sport, my mistake. I didn't realise Dr Cox ran this Hospital now. Maybe I'll just go and sit down, twiddle my thumbs and wait for him to give me something to do. How's that?"

JD none, sarcasm one.

"What do you want me to do?"

He gives me some orders to run around and take care of some of his 'important' patients while he shows some stuffy big-wigs around the Hospital. Fun.

I walk back to the front desk and see Carla. She looks up.

"Hi Bambi."

"Carla, the person I most wanted to see! You're looking mighty pretty today."

"Aw, thank you sweetie. Now let's stop pretending I'm a straw and tell me why you're sucking up."

She's good.

"Kelso's just given me about a million patients to see and I need you to keep Dr Cox off my trail because he's already asked me to help him this afternoon…and now I can't."

"Bambi, when are you going to stand up for yourself against Dr Kelso? You can't keep letting him get the better of you."

"I know. But he's just so…demanding."

[Flash Cut of Dr Kelso as a puppeteer making JD the puppet dance around the Hospital wing by his strings.

"You WILL do as I say! I am in control of everything! Dance puppet boy. Dance!"

"Yes Sir! And if I'm lucky, someday I'll be a real boy!"]

"So will you help me?"

"Of course. But don't be making a habit of it alright?"

I'm about to sprint off when someone thumps me in the back.

"Oh sorry about that Scoots, didn't see you there."

Sure. The smirk on your face makes that seem so sincere.

*****************

My feet are aching and I think I'm getting a headache. It's nearly the end of my shift though and if I had enough energy I'd try a smile. Somehow I managed to keep Dr Kelso and Dr Cox happy enough today (Thank you Carla), so there wasn't the big show down I was expecting.

Speaking of Dr Cox, he's just tapped me on the shoulder.

"Uh, Newbie. As much as you may want to announce your lack of hygiene to the world. It might pay to do it somewhere else."

Huh?

"I'm really tired, so I'm not really following you there."

He rips something off the back of my uniform. Somebody stuck a piece of paper on my back with the words 'I STINK!' on it.

"Besides, we can already smell you a mile off." He laughs really loudly and walks away.

Fantastic. I've been a walking sign all day. And I know just who the culprit is too. It's not too difficult to notice the Janitor smiling evilly at me.

I hate him.

*****************

Another end to another day. I head towards the door for home, and pause to let it really sink in. No matter how much I bitch and groan, I really do love my job. And the people here are like my surrogate family. There's Turk who's like my brother.

[Flash Cut of Turk stepping into a enormous frame for a family portrait]

Carla, who's like my mom. Elliott who's like my crazy half sister who always tries too many things at once.

[Carla and Elliott step into the frame. Elliott makes sure she's in front]

There's Todd the brother-in-law that nobody can stand. Dr Cox my somewhat scary dad figure. Dr Kelso the uncle who always complains about everything in the world. And the Janitor is like a frightening distant cousin.

[Todd, Dr Cox, Dr Kelso and the Janitor step into the frame]

Then of course there's me.

[JD steps into the frame and there's a flash of the camera going off as the portrait is taken]

I have one freakin' mixed up family life.

I walk outside and head straight home to bed. Tomorrow will be another busy day.

(Hopefully with less urine…)

The End