Fifty years have passed since then.

Fifty years since he left.

Fifty years since I have seen him or smelt him or talked to him.

Fifty years since I died.

Fifty years since I was born.

Fifty years alone.

Fifty years of pain, suffering, mourning, and more pain.

Edward was right.

The life of a vampire isn't what it's cracked up to be.

You are probably wondering what-how- I got to be like this.

FLASHBACK………….

I ran out to the cliff down in La Push and cried. No one had come to get me out of that forest after he left me. I had lain there, cold and damp. . For days, for hours I sat there, I didn't know. But as I crawled away from my house and from Charlie, I found myself in La Push. So I went to the beach where Jacob told me that wretched story and found our cliff. And this wasn't the first time he left. After the fight with the newborn vampires, he left again. He thought it would be better that way.

After a day or two-literally-of endless crying-I went back to Charlie. When he opened the door, I couldn't help but to burst down into tears. He pulled me into the house, gave me food and something hot to drink. He turned a CD on and I cried some more.

It was his lullaby. When Charlie said he could turn it off I told him to keep it on. I wanted to hear it, perhaps for the last time.

"Bella…" he began sitting next to me.

"Charlie…there is something I need to tell you…"

"Not now…you're hurt and cold…"

"Charlie…I have to tell you what really has been going on in my life, ever since we moved here." There was no point in holding it in now. He was gone.

And so I had begun my story…and it took but a mere hour or so.

When I was done, Charlie was crying too.

"I promise…I will protect you from this Victoria monster. Whatever it takes, Bella, I will make you safe."

…………………………..End flashback

I ran through the woods that were so familiar to me. My thoughts were whirling around that day…so full of pain.

I haven't seen the Cullens since. Maybe I don't want to see the Cullens. I don't know. My unbeating heart—I can't trust it anymore, you know.

……………………………….Flashback

I was out on the cliff again, this time with Charlie. We were talking and laughing. It was happy. He thought I had given up on Edward. But really…my heart was still yearning to see him.

Charlie, I forgot to mention, knew about werewolves too. He kept fidgeting in his seat.

We had wool blankets around us and in our numb hands we held a cup of hot chocolate…well…he had coffee. I never really found any interest in coffee. It was gross.

Charlie got a message from his fellow police people, telling him he had to leave early. He told me to meet him at the house and that it was just an accident on the border.

I agreed, telling him that I would be home to make dinner.

My mistake…

…Because I never came home to make dinner...

When he had left I was still sitting there in my lawn chair, pin pointing white caps in the cold harsh waters for no reason other than pure boredom.

And yet…though I knew I was alone…I felt like I was being watched…like I was being tracked.

……………..end flashback

I sniffed deeply. There…his scent again. I ran farther into the forest. This time, I thought as I brandished my dagger, gleaming topaz and sparkling like diamonds in the faint light, I will win.

……………………………flashback

I kept looking over my shoulder. Nothing was there, I would tell myself. No one is there.

But still…that feeling.

When the sun began to set behind the gray water, I began to pack my lawn chair and bag. I threw it into my old truck. Right as I was about to get in and start the engine, I heard a noise.

It was like wind…but faster. It screamed dimly in my ear, whistling, almost. I heard it again when I turned my back. It's probably just the wind I thought as shivers crawled my back.

"Just the wind" I whispered again.

"Oh no Bella, it was much more than just a wind. "

Fear crawled up and down my spine. How I knew that voice, I didn't want to know. But my brain had already made that register.

I turned around and gulped. There, my nightmare stood right in front of me. Waiting for me…watching me with those red eyes and gleaming teeth.

"I'm so glad I get to see you Bella. After all, it's been too long." The figure came forward and stroked my cheeks, letting his nails scrape my hair.

"You smell even better you know." He whispered. "Better than my last mate, Victoria; yes, you remember her." The vampire took a step closer to me.

I wanted to scream, wanted to run, but I was immobilized. Stupid fear.

……………….end flashback

My running came to a halt when I reached the point his scent ended.

"Come out, come out, wherever you are." I growled.

"Oh, but I'm everywhere Bella. Don't you understand? No matter what, I will always be ten paces in front of you, ten years of speed and experience ahead of you, ten paces ahead in the game." He growled from the shadows.

I whirled around, my red eyes glistening in hatred.

"And I will always be ten times stronger." I hissed. "So come out!" I screeched.

"'Tis the price of being a newborn," he whispered, coming out of the darkness.

I growled, "I'm not a newborn," And I took a step towards him.

"Oh, but to me you are, Bella. To me, you are."

……………….flashback

"You look frightened. Come, let me sooth you."

"Get away from me!" I muttered.

"Stubborn as a mule, like old times I must say." he said, getting closer to me.

"Get away from me," I repeated, "Or Edward will--" I cut myself off. Of course he wouldn't.

"That's right, your Edward. Well, let me tell you now…Edward or any of the Cullens aren't here to save you. It's just me and you, Bella. Me and you."

……………….end flashback

We circled each other, each one snarling.

"I see you still have the dagger I gave you fifty years ago." He whispered.

"Why wouldn't I keep the thing that transported me to this world? Bound to eternity?" I asked as I lunged forward a foot or two.

"Oh, I don't know…hard feelings?" He mocked, lunging forward too.

"Oh and tell me Bella!" He yelled his eyes wide as if he were playing a game of keep-away.

"Do you miss Edward?"

………………..flashback

I tried to run…honest I did.

"So…what are you just going to kill me now?"

"Oh no, killing you wouldn't be half as fun without Edward to see you die. No Bella, I'm going to change you. You will hunt for me when the transformation is complete and still be unable to kill me…you want to know why Bella? Because I will always be able to evade you."

"Edward will not look for me. He left again. He thought that if he left I would be—" I couldn't finish the sentence.

"Safe?" He asked, mocking again.

"Oh no Bella, you will never be safe. Now while I'm around, tracking you," He whispered into my ear, his teeth grazing it gently. His arm trailed up and down my wrist until it landed on my ring.

"Poor Bella…he left and didn't even take you with him. And after he made such a promise, too." His arm went back up my arm and grasped my neck.

With a deep breath I heard his whisper, "How I have longed for this day, Bella, so….long"

And with that, his head went down to my neck and his teeth sliced into me. But that wasn't all. He then pulled something out of his pocket and stabbed my heart. He stayed like that for a while.

And then he stood, not a foot away from my screaming body, withering on the ground.

"Your blood tasted even better than I thought it would." He whispered, bending down, holding the knife that stabbed my heart.

"This knife is cursed. It will always hold some of your blood and until it is shattered, you and I will always be connected. No matter what, I will be able to find you. I will know where you are…what you are doing at any given moment. All I have to do is touch it." And he let his finger touch the tip of the topaz knife.

I felt a searing pain at the area where he stabbed me.

Then he was gone. And the wing whistled past me.

Thank God I had told Charlie about James.

………………….end flashback

"Yes," I whispered, "Yes I miss Edward!" I finished, and I lunged.