1
Edward
It's been months. How many, I cannot really say. I've lost all track of time. That seems to happen when one doesn't count ones life in years. So, for all I knew, it could have been years.
I'd always regretted my decision to leave Bella. I would constantly reassure myself that I did it to protect her, that it was for her own good. But I could never come to terms with what I did. The look on her face when I left her, it…it tore me up inside. I knew she wouldn't be strong enough to handle it. And I figured everything was okay because Alice hadn't told me she had seen anything otherwise.
I went about my day-to-day business. But I found myself thinking of Bella a lot as of late. I wanted to know if she was happy. Or, and most of all, if she was still living. I wouldn't bear to be able to live with myself if I heard that she had killed herself. But I don't think she would do that. She would never abandon Charlie like that . And her mother…well, let's just say that when her mother would find out, it is probably safe to say that there would be another funeral Charlie would have to attend shortly after.
I would like to think that she somehow moved on with her life. That she's still at home taking care of Charlie and staying out of trouble. Poor girl probably doesn't have any friends anymore. At least she won't be hanging around with Jacob Black. He was Bella's best friend. I never did like him. He liked Bella. Was in love with her, is more like. When we started dating he stopped hanging around. So I highly doubt they're still friends.
But I just had to know. And there was only one person to whom I could ask. The only question, is will she tell me?
I had given much thought as to how I would ask her and what I should ask her. Or even if I should ask. I found her outside, gazing out into the distance. She knew I was coming. She had heard me. Not physically, but mentally. I walked out to her and stood just behind her.
"You have something to ask me?" Her voice sounded like she was off in some other place.
"Yes," I replied. "If I ask, will you give me an honest answer?"
She remained still with her back to me. "You know I will."
I walked the remaining distance till I was standing next to her. Looking out to where her eyes were looking, I asked her the question I had been dying, and yet dreading, to know the answer to.
"I know I probably shouldn't be asking this. But it's been nagging at my mind as of late." I looked down at the ground and licked my lips. "Tell me, is Bella happy?"
I noticed a change in her demeanor. I could tell she didn't want to answer.
"Alice, you said you would tell me the truth."
She looked down at her feet. "I did. I know." She turned and looked at me, a warm gentleness in her golden eyes. She took a deep breath. "I've been having visions of her all along. I told Carlisle, but he and I agreed that I shouldn't tell you because it was too soon. He said not to tell you unless you asked. And since you're asking…yes, she is happy. In all of my visions, she's smiling and laughing." The warm gentleness in her eyes turned to a look of judgment. "Edward, don't looked so stunned. You had to have known that she would move on. What did you think that she would do? Mourn your loss for the rest of her life? Don't be so vain." She turned around and walked back towards the house.
I know that what she had said about me was no less than the truth. And I guess I knew, in the back of my mind, that she would move on. But, in my heart, I selfishly hoped she wouldn't.
If vampires could sleep, I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have been able to. I puzzled over and thought about what Alice told me. I tried to picture Bella being happy without me. I just couldn't. The look on her face when I left was engrained on my mind for all eternity. So, Bella was happy. Okay, I could accept that. Right? I had to see it for myself. I had to go see her. But I had to be subtle. I had to make sure that no one saw me…or sensed that I was there. I had to be subtle, or there could be dire consequences.