Behind The Demeanor...
Nobody was supposed to know... Nobody was supposed to find out... This day wasn't supposed to happen... But I can't control everything, now can I? I hate not being able to put everything back together, to make everything okay. I'm so used to being in control, making things go my way (most of the time). However, no one could prevent or control the Prophecy which was entitled to me even before I was born. Nothing could change it... Nothing could stop it... That's just how it was.
When I stood on that cliff, overlooking the ruins, with Slade clutching my arm so tight, I saw what I was destined to do; what was part of me. Before that day, I took every liberty to prevent– to prevail– what was to be fulfilled. I meditated, I kept my emotions in check, I read the ancient scrolls... But nothing could prepare me for what was to be the next chapter of my life.
You don't know– no one knows– what I had to go through back in Azarath when my Father brought chaos. I saw my loved ones sliced with one reptilian blow, there eyes becoming duller, their world fading; my world. So I ran. I hate to admit that I'm scared of anything, but my Father is a whole different issue. An abusive parent if not even a scratch on the raw, brutal demon that my Father is. I fled to Earth, the only place that my Father could not follow me. Religious factors come into play when it is the only place where there is Holy Water. But there was one place that he could haunt me.
My mind– a desolate place it is.. But you would expect that of a half-demon child. For months he would torture me. My chakra burned of fire, my head throbbed, his heartbeat echoed in my ears... I was on the brink of ending it all, but I knew that's what he wanted. When I die, he can rule. I'm the only thing that can stop him. I'm his only tool to get him into the mortal world. If I die, he could surly find another way in. But I didn't die, so I endured the torture of his presence.
The anniversary of my birth is not a thing to celebrate. In my past years, it only told me that I was one step closer to the Prophecy, the thing that was eating me alive. The thing that kept me up at night, the thing that haunted my mind, my body, my soul and my spirit. So, when my 15th birthday rolled around, I stayed secluded to the others. I did not want them to see, to feel, to hear my destiny. I did not want their golden hearts punctured. They were my friends, my family, my life. I knew, that if I had told them what was to become of me and the world, they would try to help; the last thing I wanted anyone to do.
I was scared. Yes, the almighty Raven who showed no emotion was scared. I do not hide it now. It is a chapter in my life that is important to me now. The minute hand ticked slowly, my heart skipped so many beats, I am surprised that it didn't even stop. Every second, every minute, every hour and every day was sacred. My time was so sacred at the end. I took mental pictures of every smile of my friends, every personality, every action, every breath. My connection runs so deep within them. They have become my family, and I have become theirs. You can see why I did not want them near the danger that was slowly befalling on the world.
Pain. Absolute and furious pain. Mental, emotional, physical, spiritual... Every "-al" you can name in the book. As I saw the tattoos, my birthmarks that had been covered for so many years, I knew that it was only a matter of time before it would be over. I knew no one could do anything. Everyone thought they could, but I knew better. My hair grew longer, my fingers; more slender. The wretched, red birthmarks swirled and turned on every inch of my flesh. Yes, they would fade away.. No one would know what was there. But the problem was that I knew. I knew that they were there, throbbing under my demeanor. I knew that they were now and forever a part of me. One piece of the bloody puzzle..
I don't know how long it lasted. One..maybe two weeks.. Time never seemed to be on my side. For days, I didn't know what date it was, what time it was... I didn't eat, I didn't sleep.. I couldn't focus on anything but those slitting, red eyes. My Father's eyes. My eyes. My..true eyes.. As the days dragged on like a million years, I could feel his rage becoming more and more stronger underneath my delicate, pale skin. My temper rose, my hair grew past my shoulders, my personality that everyone knew, vanished. I was him. He was me. We...were one.
I can still remember his voice, his roaring voice booming. It shook the Earth; my home. The skies turned to fire, the ground into lava. Everything seemed to fall apart. The tear marks that slid down my face are still there. I can still taste the salty, thick blood that had entered my throat and lungs. My voice is still hoarse from screaming...pleading.
Can it be that this is the end? The question flowed in and out of my mind as the blood caked onto my skin. Can it be that I, Raven of Azarath, will be the one to end the world? To end the human race? Forever?
His hand... Their hands, grabbing onto me for life support. The warmth of them are still resting on my shoulder. His eyes, their eyes, still shimmering with tears. Even now, after all of this time...
I do not know if this, right now, is the end. I do not know if everything will be alright. How am I, only a teenager, supposed to hold the world on my shoulders? To fight my Father, my demon blood? Something inside of me is growing, something that burns my heart. I fight it everyday, and have not lost yet. How long will it be before I lose? How long is this hell supposed to last? Questions like these go unanswered. They are heard, but not wanted. No one wants to hear that it might be over; that it might be the end for us all. The thing is, though, it does need to be heard, to be thought about. It cannot be ignored, it cannot be thought as imaginary. These questions are real. They need to be answered.
Will it end like this? Will all hell break lose and destroy life as we know it? Will my rage bring an entire world to its knees? Will I be the last one standing? Be the last one (dare I say it) laughing?
Is the impossible too impossible for the Titans?
I sit here, thinking... I wait for my answers.. I wait for someone to speak out, to not be afraid of reality. I wait, but there is no one ready. Everyone thinks there is time– time for everything. That there is time to be ready, to get ready. Time is not an option, my friends. It is long gone.
So I'll wait here for my answers as the world crumbles outside. I'll pretend nothing is happening and everything is fine. I'll just close and open my eyes and I'll be back in my room. It will all be a dream. A nightmare.
But my life is a nightmare. A monster at my heels, trying to grab me as I run through endless paths and halls. But, everyone wakes up at a certain point right? Well, for me, I never wake up. An endless dream, churning through the endless fire of hell, burning with the endless rage, boiling with the endless desire.
So, I'll wait. I'll wait for everyone to wake up. I'll wait for everyone's nightmare to be over. I'll sit here with my questions. I'll sit here waiting for my answers. I'll torture myself with the mental images of my friends. But I'll do it all for you, so you can get ready.
The question? Is the impossible too impossible for the Titans.
My answer? Silence...
XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXA/N: Just a little piece I wrote after I saw the episode 'Birthmark' and read spoilers for 'The Prophecy'. No spoilers are in here though. And don't worry, 'Insanity' will be up shortly with 'fall out of your chair' humor! I have not lost my touch!
Read and Review please! See ya soon!