Disclaimer: These characters are the creative property of LJ Smith, Stephenie Meyer and The CW. No copyright infringement is intended.

Katherine Pierce strolled proudly into the first shabby restaurant she found. It was run down, dimly lit and uninteresting - but she wasn't here for pleasure. She smirked in distaste at the middle aged man ogling her behind the counter - and every other man in the room for that matter, along with their judgmental, glaring wives. She scanned the room with hawk like eyes until she spotted just the man she'd been looking for.

The Sherriff was sat, pathetically, on his own, devouring a large steak pie. She sauntered up to him; head smugly held high and plonked herself into the seat opposite him. Charlie Swan looked up in astonishment to the stunning woman sitting opposite him. All his instincts were screaming at him to run, to get out of there…but he just gawked unashamedly at the beautiful girl, paralysed in her presence. Katherine, for once, didn't care much for manipulating the man; instead she got straight to business.

"Tell me the whereabouts of The Cullen's," she demanded simply, easily influencing the man with her vampire compulsion. The stupid people in this town lived, to her knowledge, right down the road from vampires and not one of them had any idea about vervain. This is all too easy she thought to herself wickedly. After he proceeded to babble uselessly, Katherine impatiently ordered the man to draw directions on a napkin. With a flick of her long curly hair, she'd left as swiftly as she'd arrived. Fortunately for the citizens of Forks she'd had quite a meal before she'd arrived in the dreadful town.

She walked at near the speed of light to the Cullen's house without haste. She hadn't bothered with a car; it would be too inconspicuous. She stopped in the bushes outside the large modern house. Now, she thought to herself sceptically, how am I going to get in, as a vampire who needs to be invited…? Her sly, scheming mind ticked, devising various Plan A's and Plan B's… but none of them were quite cunning enough, none of them up to her standards. I wonder if compulsion works on these weak vampires…

Suddenly a twig snapped behind her, interrupting her thoughts. Katherine spun round rapidly, only to see an innocent hare hopping by. Lucky you I'm not Stefan right now, she thought, giggling to herself. She turned back around to continue her plotting, only to be confronted with possibly the most beautiful Azul eyes she'd ever see. Damon Salvatore stood pompously, staring down on her. How dare he?

"What the hell are you doing here?" she hissed.

"Oh dearest Katherine," he said sarcastically "I thought you'd be happy to see me!" He flashed a 100 kilowatt smile, which disappeared from his face so quickly she wondered if it had even been there at all. A scowl was the reply she gave the handsome man. He rolled his eyes irritably. "I'm not one to beat about the bush," he joked, making reference to their surroundings "so I'll just get straight to the point. What the hell do you think you're doing here?"

"None of your business," she replied bluntly, and with her trademark playful giggle, she pushed her ex-lover aside like a bored child who had just been given their least favourite toy. But, annoyingly, his ignorant face was in front of hers again before she could stalk off.

"Now, now, Katherine, there's no need to be rude."

"Go away, Damon," she moaned

"See, I would love to. No, really I would; I can't stand your self absorbed bitchy little ass. However, my brother seems to think you're up to something, and by-Joe, as it would appear, he was right!" he said, his voice seething with fake enthusiasm. Damon stood in front of Katherine stubbornly, using those piercing blue eyes to weaken her.

Katherine smiled sweetly up at him, fluttering her eyelashes. "Oh, Damon. You caught me."

If I do this right, then the naïve fool should do my work for me, she thought deviously.

"I'm not here to play games Katherine," Damon retorted impatiently. The stupid girl thought she could still manipulate him? Ha! That ship had sailed long ago. "Just tell me what you're doing here. Forks is a small town. The only thing this place has going for it is all that Twilight crap, and that's fiction. I understand that despite the fact that you are admittedly a fantastic, scheming old hag, you have the mentality of a little girl. Having said that, even for you Katherine, this is-"

"Oh stop, Damon, before you embarrass yourself," Katherine interrupted with annoyance "you sound like your brother, trying to figure out my plots. It's a pity you're not like Stefan in more ways. Maybe I'd love you then," she spat spitefully, eying his reaction. Damon's face looked angry enough from the blow to his pride and feelings. Maybe he'll get out of my way now.

Damon breathed in and out deeply, regaining his calm. "One more time Katherine, what are you doing here?"

Katherine's brain ticked and whirred as she considered her options. To tell Damon, or to not tell Damon…

"So, this Twilight crap," she said finally "what if it's true?"

Damon looked at her expressionlessly. He looked almost bored, in fact. "It's not real, Katherine. They sparkle. Not to mention that, if it were true, I think the world would know about it."

"Don't be an idiot. A witch hides their house, so nobody knows it's here apart from dear Bella Swan's daddy. The romantic Edward is real, the clumsy Bella is real, and their human-vampire hybrid daughter, Renesmee, is sure as hell real. I don't know about you but I can hear their idle chit chat from out here," Katherine professed; achieving the privilege of leaving the usually witty Damon retort-less. Now he concentrated, he could admittedly hear voices from inside the house talking about Renesmee's impressive growth rate. He frowned in confusion. He was obviously battling between his ego and his desire to ask questions. Katherine was enjoying his discomfort far too much to put him out of his misery and explain of her own accord, so she waited smugly until Damon finally asked:

"How do you know this? What does it have to do with you anyway?"

"It has absolutely nothing to do with me Damon, however Klaus found me and I've become forced to do his bidding in order to stay alive," she spat angrily.

"Ah, the great runner Katherine finally caught," he teased "Well, what's Klaus got to do with it?"

"Who knows?" she replied shortly "I imagine it's something to do with the hybrid though. And, now you know about it, you're going to help me."

"Help you?" Damon scoffed, "I doubt that. Helping you is helping Klaus. I hate Klaus. Therefore, not helping you."

He smiled briefly and turned to leave. Katherine grabbed the back of his shirt and spun him round like a puppet, reminding Damon that as his elder, she was much stronger than him.

"You're going to help me whether you like it or not, Damon Salvatore. Otherwise I shall have fun handing you over to those wolves that live down by the beach after I've beaten you to a pulp."

Thanks for reading! The first chapter is quite serious but I'm hoping some banter will happen when Damon meets the Cullens (especially Emmett) I'd origionally intended to just write a funny little thing about how Damon would mock the Cullens if he ever met them after I rewatched some of Season 1 and saw the scene when he's with Caroline and he flicks through one of the Twilight books, but I didn't make a plan for the story and Katherine was the first thing person that popped into my head and I just started typing. I guess I don't really like starting in the middle of a story; I'd find it too weird to just randomly start writing about Damon sitting in a room chatting with the Cullens. I have no idea where this is going to go as of yet, but I definitly want to try and write some humour, if I can anyway. I don't really know if I'm funny enough to write humour but fuck it I'll give it a go, why not. Congrats if you're still reading this note because I just became aware I'm rambling. So thanks hehe :) R&R pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease xx