Title: Sideways
Author: Ev vy
Rating: G
Pairings: J/D
Category: Vignette
Spoilers: none
Warnings: none
Beta:the ever lovely Kres
"Sideways"
Sam sometimes needs to think about people in terms of their defining qualities. So she defines people and realises that they are unique in her world. Or maybe not only in hers. And sometimes she defines people in terms of their indispensable attributes. But she realises that they are indispensable only for her, because she needs them to focus on boundaries. Or maybe they are a handy excuse not to feel sad that, although she'd like to, she will never cross those boundaries. Even if others before her have.
Daniel needs his glasses. They are a barrier between him and the rest of the world. He needs them to be protected from the world as much as the world needs protection from Daniel. It used to be easy to get lost in the honesty that was Daniel. But she remembers that Ascended Daniel wore no glasses and maybe that's why he's different now. More contained. But it's still easier to think that Daniel needs his glasses.
The General needs his uniform. When Sam first saw him in his civvies she couldn't quite place the man. She didn't feel comfortable, because it didn't define him clearly. The uniform makes it easier not to think about possibilities. She concentrates on the soldier and the civilian ceases to exist. And it's easier to remember that civilian Jack doesn't have a place in civilian Sam's world. Not this one, at least.
But Sam doesn't need a supercomputer to know that there are places and moments when Daniel doesn't need his glasses and the General looks just right in his civvies. She remembers some of these moments, and it makes her angry that she didn't take her chances. On the other hand, maybe it is better that those chances were taken for her and she no longer needs to think about crossing the boundaries.
She might not even notice them if the sun didn't shine directly into her eyes and she turned her head, because the light hurt. Daniel and the General were sitting at the back of the café and she wanted to hurry in and join them. But she stopped when she saw Daniel readjust his glasses and the General reach with his hand and take the glasses off.
He put them on his own nose and Daniel smiled this almost full but a little embarrassed smile which he always wore when he was pleased with something or someone. Daniel wore the smile for Jack. She wanted to barge in and scream. And cry. But she did nothing. Just stared for a while longer until she thought she looked weird enough standing there and gaping at the café window.