it didn't even hurt
one second standing
laughing
the next discorporate
doesn't feel like it
feels wider awake than eternity
harry running
screaming
"how does it feel to be a godfather, padfoot"
nearly curtains for him now too
grab him
he's so tiny
no i shouldn't hold him
he'll break
moony
good old moony
best of us all really
best of a sorry lot
clever padfoot
where has your cleverness gotten you now
dark
like soot
like snivellus' oil-slick hair
like night
like dementors' o-round mouths
like black
no stars but one
brightest in the black sky
no how
no when
no why
could be tumbling
could be streaking like a long-haired comet
could be stuck stock still like a beetle pinned to a black card
no up
no here
no down
no there
no in
no out
no anywhere
big guilty scared black eyes in a white face
caught him doing god knows what with kreacher
kick the elf
hit the brother
eating rats in a cave for harry
laughing my arse off with james behind peter's back
he was so proud to be a rat
rats are dog food
so how did he end up eating us all
little white hands furtively smoothing down james' black hair
"it's always so messy, you prat"
little soft strokes
did she think he didn't know then
hands held his universe
always comes down to that in the end
her little white hands hold all the power
she's a pinpoint of fire in the dark that stretches and stretches
she pulled us all into her orbit
gravity well like a white dwarf
even remus looked
and hid behind his book
and looked
and turned away and didn't look
spent years and years not looking
clever lupin
but he still went round and round her too
just another moon
"say hello to your new brother, sirius"
don't need another
will have james already
in ten years or so
prongs and his lily
stag and his doe
stag's gone
african wizards knew her three thousand years ago
dogon tribe
little white hands pulling sirius into her orbit
into the centre of the sky
doe's gone
now dog's gone
doggone
maybe 8.6 light-years gone by now
wherever now is
god
i loved her too
"let me do it, padfoot"
never thought to ask where had he grown a pair all of a sudden
just relieved it wouldn't be me
even for her
for him
fire in heart
(water for limbs)
serpent family breeds serpent offspring
but not this one no never
"gryffindor"
little white hands reaching
angel voice laughing
"come on, you can do it, not far now"
dog-paddling
last
few
white hands
white light
I'm home.