Who Wants To Live Forever?
I still remember that day so long ago. The day when Piccolo slipped away and tried to destroy the Androids all by himself.
"Hold down the fort while I'm gone, kid." He'd told me when he thought I was asleep. "Stay here until I get back."
He didn't come back.
I waited for....hours? Days? Sorry, I just don't remember clearly how long.
I still felt his power. Just a weak flicker on the edge of consciousness. When this went on for ages without change, I knew he'd lost the battle. I said goodbye to mother and struck out on my own. Seeking the only person left that still understood me.
The whole city was a wasteland. Once-majestic buildings lay in rubble. Dust covered everything. At one time you couldn't see more than half a mile, such was the amount of civilization. Now I saw the ocean as a pale blue line against the gray horizon. Deceivingly calm.
"PICCOLO?!" I screamed for my master with a voice not yet changed by maturity. The shrill scream he hated hearing out in the valley so long ago.
No reply came.
Then I noticed something below. Purple blood spotted the ground. Large, half-clotted spatters situated close together. He shouldn't have been far.
There's no time for us
There's no place for us
I followed the trail to a mountain of debris that used to be the television station. The antenna was unmistakable.
Piccolo was sprawled out on his back across two metal beams, sans his cape and turban. The entire front of his gi was soaked in his blood and a large puddle formed a violet halo around him. It ran in rivulets off the beams, coagulating into blackening puddles on the ground. Even from my high altitude I made out the gaping hole in his torso.
What is this thing that builds our dreams,
yet slips away from us?
I moved nearer for a better view. My teacher's head was turned to the side and tilted back, making his thick neck appear long and graceful, his face surprisingly undamaged. His prominent eyebrow ridges rested in a natural frown, shadowing his closed eyes. He no longer wore a sneer that wrinkled his teardrop nose, and his jaw was completely relaxed. A stinking crust surrounded his lower lip and cheek. Vomited water, probably days old. I also smelled urine, old and stale, mixed with the blood and vomitus. Such was the length of time he'd been laying there alone. Despite all this he looked strangely beautiful, though I didn't know it then. An emerald bird wounded by a hunter's rifle.
I tore my pantleg off and soaked it with water from my canteen. I reached out and gently cleaned the foul-smelling substance from his face.
Who wants to live forever?
Who wants to live forever....?
Oooh...
Piccolo inhaled sharply at my touch. Glassy eyes blacker than the night flew open, fixing on me. He gazed at me with such pain. So much he wanted to tell me, yet never would. I didn't know it then, but he had a severe closed-head injury. A piece of his skull rested right where his speech center used to be. He'd never speak or move his right side ever again. The Androids had done the worst thing possible - they left him to die helpless. To watch as they pillaged and destroyed.
"Piccolo, just hang on!" I forced myself to remain calm just like he taught me. "I'm going to pack your wound and take you back to Capsule Corporation. They'll fix you up again." Then I got to work, tearing my cape apart, wadding it up and stuffing it into the disgusting wound in Piccolo's stomach.
He moaned as I worked. His face drew up in agony. But this had to be done.
Ten minutes later found me flying fast with Piccolo on my back. I had to smile when, upon arriving, he tried to fight the medical staff called out to attend him.
More waiting. Hoping. Grieving.
There's no chance for us
It's all decided for us
The details surrounding what the nurse told me later are still sketchy. I know she said something about the head injury and that Piccolo wouldn't ever walk or speak again. I felt like someone blasted me through the heart.
"You stinking liar," I bristled at the woman.
Bulma came in, I have no clue when. She was just suddenly there beside me. I never sensed her coming. "Gohan, I'm really sorry, but she's telling the truth. I saw the scans myself. Most of his left hemisphere was destroyed." She laid a hand softly on my shoulder. Her eyes shone with pity. Pity for me. "He isn't in any more pain. We've stopped the bleeding from his torso. Would you like to see him?"
Of course I did, I didn't have to say so. Bulma pointed down the hall that smelled like disinfectant and let me go alone. She knew I'd prefer solitude.
This world has only one sweet moment
set aside for us...
Piccolo was stretched out across a stark white bed, surrounded by IV stands, monitors and equipment. He had metal cups attached to his chest which lead to machines monitoring his heartbeat, blood pressure and oxygen saturation. Two long, coiled tubes joined into one and entered his throat, attached to a machine that forced his lungs to breathe. White gauze bandages and heavy padding were wrapped tightly around his stomach. Spots of blood still oozed through.
Pain knotted deep within my chest like a fist. I stood there in the doorway amidst hisses, clicks and beeps, studying how gently the pillow cradled my teacher's bald green head. The way his pointed ears created folds in the fabric, the way his antennae drooped to his face and the manner in which his lips surrounded the tube pushed deep into his trachea.
Even like that, he still looked imposing. But not strong, not in that condition. Not under all those machines.
Who wants to live forever?
Who wants to live forever?
Oooh...
I approached his right side. "Piccolo?"
Onyx orbs opened. Still clear and alert. I almost heard him grunt wordlessly to me. That sound he always made was his way of asking 'what do you want now?'.
"They said you have a severe head injury. You won't be able to walk or talk again...those parts of your brain were destroyed."
He blinked at me. Somehow I knew he still understood me even though he wasn't able to say so.
"But I heard the nurses talking and...once the swelling in your brain heals, you can come off the vent and continue living..."
A large, cool hand slid over mine and pressed down. Again, I almost heard him, this time saying my name in that stern tone that meant 'shut up so I can talk'.
Who dares to love forever?
Oh oo woah, when love must die...
I gazed into Piccolo's eyes and saw nothing but sorrow. And that was when I realized...this wasn't life to him. Existing and living were two very different things. He didn't want to spend the rest of his life as a useless cripple. What he was asking of me...I backed away against the wall with tears pouring down my face. No agony compared to the slow knife digging through my soul. Piccolo shed a single tear. One tear for the entire life he'll never live.
"But I still need you, Piccolo!" I cried, "You can still advise me...Bulma can make a computer that speaks for you and build a chair for you to get around with! Even if you can't fight, you can still be our tactician, right? Your life isn't over."
Yes it is, his eyes said.
"Piccolo!" I bordered on sobbing like the crybaby I used to be all those long years ago. Hot lumps welled in my throat and overflowed into my eyes. I stumbled forward and wept into his broad chest. Surrounded by his eternally dusty, outdoor scent. How would I ever say goodbye to the one that showed me I was more than a whiny little child?
Piccolo gave me that same stern look he showed whenever I'd annoyed him. But he still rested a hand in my hair. Forever my teacher, my best friend...and my comforter. I loved him as all three. Doing what he asked me to would be the ultimate act of my love for him - granting him peace.
I grasped his paralyzed hand and drew it to my cheek. For a long while I stayed there, nuzzling his smooth, leathery palm. My tears soaked his hand and chest. I poured my heart out to him. Telling him everything I knew, how I felt and how much pain this caused me. I told him about all my failures, triumphs, hopes and wishes. Piccolo listened silently. His good arm stayed firmly around me, fingers combing my rebellious hair. Both of us knew the moment our contact ceased, it would be time. I didn't want it to end. I feared life without him there to call upon when I needed help.
Despite all the hardship, Piccolo was giving me solace when he needed it more. Perhaps comforting me gave him comfort as well. Or maybe he was taking all my pain for me...prepared to drag it away into eternity.
Finally the warm hand slid from my hair. I tried desperately to hang on to him. Piccolo caught my chin between bent thumb and forefinger. He forced my head up and stared at me through fierce black eyes. Silently berating me for carrying on too long. Then his gaze flickered to the ventilator machine.
My whole body shook with dread. I almost threw up. But Piccolo's smoldering eyes, shining like dark gems under a stern brow, gave me courage.
I studied the machine and all its flickering dials. It had an alarm, which I located and turned off. I did the same for the heart monitor so it wouldn't send the code team rushing in. Just one little button held Piccolo's entire fate. A fate I now held.
"This is it..."
Piccolo closed his uncrippled hand into a fist, then lifted his thumb. The corners of his eyes crinkled, showing a tear-filled smile. He always smiled with his eyes, rarely with his lips. I felt my throat choke upon seeing his expression. How selfish I was! Here he was happy for his impending freedom and all I wanted was to keep him with me.
I closed my eyes and depressed the button. The ventilator wound down to stillness, leaving the room silent except for the beeping monitor by the bed. I reached forward and extracted the tubing from Piccolo's throat. I wanted to see his whole face while he was still alive...just one more time.
Nothing happened for almost a full minute. Piccolo stared into my eyes. I gazed into his. He started to struggle. His neck retracted into his shoulders. His lips pulled back and exposed his menacing fangs. His eyes opened wide. The blood vessels within them ruptured, splashing the whites with reddish-purple. I heard the heart monitor speed up.
Somehow I watched all this without showing any pain. I just watched him fight for air with lungs incapable of breathing alone.
But touch my tears with your lips
Touch my world with your fingertips
Piccolo went beyond pain, the struggle left his expression. He stretched a hand out and touched my face. Everything he knew, everything he was and would be surged through my brain. His whole life, and then a growing light creeping over his consciousness.
I clutched his wrist, holding his hand in place. "P-Piccolo..."
Piccolo's liquid black eyes pleaded with me to remember him. He won't let go until he's sure he'll live on in me.
"I promise," I said, staring fiercely into his eyes. That was the only time in my life when I actually held back my emotions. He would've wanted that.
His lips pulled into a faint smile. A glowing veil came up between our minds. The hand pressed firmly against my cheek rapidly lost tension. Piccolo's endlessly deep eyes, still fierce and strong, slowly glazed over. I heard three slow beeps from the monitor. Then a steady tone. A sound that haunted me forever. The tears trembling in Piccolo's eyes escaped onto his face. One rolled over his nose and the other dripped down across his ear. My own tears found freedom, pooling against his fingertips.
And we can have forever
And we can love forever
Forever is our today
Piccolo...the one who made me what I am. My teacher. My best friend. My surrogate father...was gone from me forever. Watching him die tore a new hole in my soul. His life was mine, and now it was over. In that moment where I felt more pain than I'd ever experienced in my life...I didn't cry. I had tears on my face, but I wasn't actually crying. I'd forgotten how to feel.
I reached over and gently closed Piccolo's eyes. My hand lingered on his cheek, his face felt softer than I imagined. The frown always knitting his brow relaxed. He still smiled slightly. When I examined his entire expression, I saw why.
Who wants to live forever?
Who wants to live forever?
Forever is our today
He finally had the peace he longed for.
Who waits forever anyway?
Still trapped in unfeeling, I settled my head on Piccolo's chest and held his hand tight to my cheek. No heartbeat. No breath. Just stillness. Piccolo found peace...I just discovered a living Hell.