So...a very long time ago I signed up for the F Yeah Darcy Lewis 50 Reasons challenge and picked 'Break Up Sex'. I wrote some of it. Then I left it. I wrote some more of it. And I left it. But finally, actual years later, I have finished it.
This means it's AU for The Dark World, because that film hadn't come out when I started writing it. Yeah, it's been that long.
Without further ado...
Something Worth Remembering
The message arrived on a Tuesday morning, midway through breakfast and completely out of the blue. The tap on the window made Darcy drop her toast to the counter with a shriek-the apartment she shared with Loki was on the fourteenth floor.
He didn't even flinch, calmly replacing his teacup. "The window doesn't open," he said, "stupid bird." The last was muttered, and Darcy followed his gaze to the raven hovering expectantly on the other side of the glass. "You're going to have to go elsewhere!" But the glazing was designed to keep the sounds of the city out, so the bird couldn't hear him. Or maybe it didn't understand him.
The fact that Darcy was even contemplating a raven being able to understand Loki's words was a sign of how weird her world had become.
In the end, Loki vanished the glass with a frustrated wave of his hand, and the raven hopped through, settling onto the counter and holding one leg out. Darcy shrieked again at the blast of cold air entering through the missing window, jogging off to her bedroom for warmer clothes than her scanty jammies.
She called it her bedroom, but it didn't have a bed in it anymore. She bunked in with Loki permanently now, and her room had become more of a giant wardrobe. She got a rail and a chest of drawers; Loki hogged the rest of the space, but in a way she only had herself to blame. After all, she refused to let him buy her nicer clothes, and she liked his array of fancy suits so never complained when he came home with a new outfit.
When she emerged, the raven was gone, the glass had returned, and Loki was sat ramrod straight on their couch, a roll of parchment in his hand. Even from across the room she could see the spiky lettering, meaning the message had come from Asgard. The raven was probably one of Odin's own, Oogie and Boogie or whatever they were called.
"Not good?" she asked, tossing the remnants of her cold toast in the trash. Sometimes when Loki got like this, full of coiled up energy that signified he was suppressing emotions-wound so tight it was only a matter of time until he snapped-it was best to get the hell out of the way. That was why she shuffled towards the door, surreptitiously shoving her shoes on and hooking her bag around her wrist.
"I've been pardoned," he replied, still not tearing his gaze away from the fancy letters.
"What?" she replied, distracted. Where were her keys-wait, what had he just said?
"For my part in defeating Thanos and restoring order to the Nine Realms, I have been pardoned for all crimes. Including high treason. Odin believes I have proved my actions were the work of a highly-skilled double agent, working to bring Thanos' schemes apart from the inside."
That was a total crock, and even Odin knew it, but if anything was going to prove to Loki that the Allfather did actually love him in his own unique way, she guessed this was it. And he had earned it, putting his life on the line repeatedly to undo the damage he'd once caused to Manhattan.
"This is great, right? This is what you wanted!"
"Indeed. I have been given reprieve to see my lady mother, as I've wanted for so long."
Oh. Oh. There dropped the other shoe, a pointed stiletto falling past and missing her skin by inches. Loki was returning to Asgard.
"Yay," she replied, forcing false brightness into her voice. "This is awesome news. Listen, I have a thing and I'm sure you have lots to plan so-" She said the last words backing out of the apartment, keeping the smile glued to her face even when the door was shut, all the way along the hallway, and into the elevator.
Her reflection in the elevator walls told her she wasn't fooling anyone. She dropped the smile and blinked back tears.
She'd known this would happen, sooner or later. Maybe not the pardoning thing, but it was always inevitable Loki would leave Earth behind, whether he was carted away in chains to face justice in Asgard, or just grew bored and ran off to find another realm to conquer. It wasn't like they'd made any grand declarations to each other, and the few times the L word had crept its way into her mouth, she'd swallowed it down, all too aware of who she was dealing with.
But she'd let him get under her skin, with sweet words and sweeter tongue, forgetting this was a temporary thing and getting caught up in his pretence that she meant more to him than someone to keep the bed warm.
He was going to leave a hole in her life, one that another guy couldn't fill. Loki wasn't just her lover, but her friend. He got her jokes, encouraged the dirty ones, and had made an effort to learn about pop culture so he could follow her babbling. He'd pushed her to finish her studies and take them further, even auditing the occasional PoliSci class to see if Midgard had anything new to teach him. He got her, in a way most people didn't, and sometimes she thought she got him too, proud to bring out the prankster buried under the mountain of daddy issues and dynastic drama.
And she'd never tell him this to his face, because his ego was already impossible to handle, but nobody was ever going to match up to him in the bedroom.
Darcy wandered aimlessly around the neighborhood, sustaining herself on takeaway coffee and food from street carts, the usual catcalling and unwanted flirting curtailed by her miserable expression. It wasn't that Loki would be going back to Asgard forever, she tried to reason, but when he was there he'd remember that he didn't much like humans, and the women of Asgard all had long legs, super stamina and a lifespan she couldn't compete with. He'd forget there was a reason to come back at all, and all Darcy would get was second hand stories from Thor about Loki's latest exploits. Third hand stories, from Jane, most likely.
Gradually the pity-party for one solidified into something more concrete. She needed to get out of New York. The apartment would feel empty with only her in it-and paying the rent on her own would become an impossibility. Besides, Jane didn't need her around anymore, not when she had all those fancy labs and assistants at Stark Tower. Darcy should ask Natasha and Pepper for contacts in D.C., and then actually put her degrees to some use.
She fired off a few texts and headed back to the apartment, her mood lifted. Sure, this was denial, but she could cloak herself in it until they'd both moved on. Dealing with her heartbreak would be more bearable when it was mitigated by the thrill of a new city and a new job.
The hallway was free of smoke or the scents of any chemicals, which meant Loki's reaction after she left couldn't have been too dramatic. She opened the door and poked her head around, making sure she wasn't about to step onto the splintered remnants of the kitchen island or into a portal to a hell dimension. (Once was enough, and it wasn't like Loki's adoptive daughter had seemed particularly fond of Darcy when they met).
Instead, she found emptiness. It wasn't what she'd been hoping for: if she didn't have this conversation a.s.a.p. she might get lost in maudlin thoughts again, but there was no sign of His Lordship anywhere. She dumped her stuff on the counter and headed for the shower she'd skipped in the morning.
The apartment was still silent when she emerged half an hour later, every inch of her scrubbed, shaved and slathered in lotion. She was determined that before he left, she was going to make him remember her, even centuries from now. When someone asked him why he'd dallied with a mere mortal, he'd respond with a fond smile and a knowing glint in his eye.
Only maybe she was already too late. Maybe the silence was a sign he'd slipped away in her absence, left a Dear John on the bedside cabinet, or not even bothered at all-
"Darcy?"
"JESUS!"
"Wrong deity, I'm afraid."
"How many times do I have to tell you not to sneak up on me!"
He cocked an eyebrow at her, gesturing to his reclining position on the sofa. "I wasn't aware that being present in a room you are entering counted as sneaking." He eyed her with interest, in particular the robe she had wrapped up in before she headed into the living room. It was black silk and very short-his idea of a Christmas gift. She'd commented that buying things for his own enjoyment was cheating when she unwrapped it.
"Any particular occasion?" he asked, licking his lips as she stepped towards him. The hem only just covered the curve of her ass, and despite how tightly she'd wrapped the sash around her waist, the robe gaped at the top, flashing most of her cleavage.
She shook her head. The plan had been to wait for him on the sofa herself, a welcome sight when he returned to the apartment. Instead, she had to switch to plan B: straddling him.
Catching Loki off guard was a rare treat, and she watched him swallow as she lowered herself into his lap, pushing the papers he was holding aside.
"Are you wearing anything under there?" he enquired, his detached tone undermined by the way his gaze was fixed on the robe's neckline. He ran cool fingers up one thigh, pausing at her hip. "Because it didn't appear to be the case…"
No, she'd given him quite the show as she'd slung one leg over him. "I am wearing something." From this angle it wouldn't appear so, other than her girls defying gravity in a way they couldn't do without support. "I think you'll find it very interesting," she promised, keeping her voice low, ghosting her hands up her torso to let the material shift and gape further. "But if you're busy…"
He caught her around the waist as she moved to clamber away, one firm arm pinning her to him. "Nothing that can't wait."
"Good." She smiled and leaned in to kiss him, but he decided to take charge, fingers slipping down from her hip and onto slick flesh. His eyes flashed with smug satisfaction as she gasped and rocked against him.
"Aren't you a delight?" he murmured. "If you could only see yourself like this-all that lovely skin on display, and the flush you wear so beautifully."
"Oh, you ain't seen nothing yet," she replied with a cocky grin, which turned into a moan and a lip bite as he slid two fingers inside her, thumb teasing but not touching where she wanted it.
"Is that so?" One hand-the important hand-stilled, and while she was distracted grinding her hips down onto it, he gave the sash of the robe a hard tug. The fabric spilled open around her. "Oh. Oh my."
It wasn't quite the speechless effect she'd hoped for, but the expression on his face was worth it, even if he still wasn't moving his godforsaken fingers.
"You like?" she asked, stroking one hand down his torso, coming to rest in the region of his lap. She could feel exactly how much he liked it.
"Did I call you a delight? No, no, you are exquisite."
She beamed, tossing her hair back and arching her back so he got the full effect. It also conveniently put the girls at mouth height, which wasn't an offer Loki was going to refuse.
Turned out investing in an emerald green underbust corset was a brilliant idea.
Things sped up from there, Loki feasting at her boobs like a starved man while she rode his hand, all the while attempting to unbutton his shirt. It was a frantic tangle, made harder as Loki worked his way upwards, leaving open-mouthed kisses on her neck and jaw. Eventually he reached her mouth, meeting her eyes as he captured it with his own. The sudden burst of intimacy had her spasming around him, the orgasm sharp and sweet.
She let the kiss linger before pulling away, extricating herself from his lap. She tugged the robe completely off and tossed it aside, before grabbing Loki by the hand and pulling him to his feet too.
"Trust me when I say I'm about to make one of your dreams come true," she said as she sank to her knees, making quick work of unzipping his pants and freeing his cock. She gave it an experimental stroke and grinned up at him.
"Darcy, while you are most skilled at this particular task, I no longer dream about you wrapping your sweet lips around my-" he paused as she did exactly that "-my...not when I have memories to work with instead."
She rolled her eyes and concentrated on getting him good and wet, although it was fun to tease him: running her tongue over him before taking all of it into her mouth for a moment, then retreating.
She couldn't see his expression for the moment. He'd tipped his head back, so from this angle all she had was a view of the firm planes of his torso, framed by his open shirt, and the long column of his neck. She suspected-but had never confirmed-that he hid his face on purpose sometimes, so she couldn't really see the emotions crossing it. If there was one thing Loki hated, it as someone seeing him vulnerable, even if that vulnerability was just him enjoying himself.
Didn't matter. She had a sure-fire why of getting him to look down.
"Oh, it's not that," she replied after one last, long pass of her mouth down his shaft. She rose higher on her knees, gripping him firmly in her hand and adjusting her position so she was closer to him. "You may want to look down for this."
He didn't, not until the tops of her breasts brushed the underside of his cock. Then he peered down at Darcy as she manoeuvred so he was nestled in her cleavage. She flashed him an impish grin.
"Oh, you wicked, wicked creature," he said, with no small amount of delight.
Finding a rhythm took some effort; the angle was awkward, but Loki seemed happy to thrust away, while she wrapped a hand around the base of his shaft and stroked the skin which didn't reach. The other hand, she slid between her own legs, her fingers feeling inadequate after Loki's but better than the scant friction that came with rubbing her thighs together.
And friction was an issue, but Darcy was happy to solve that problem re-slicking Loki's cock with her mouth at regular intervals. He was moving slowly, apparently eager to draw the experience out, but she couldn't remember ever seeing him more blissed-out. Having Darcy on her knees-well, that would be a bonus for him. All his happy things in one fun package.
She knew he was close when his thrusts came faster, erratic and choppy, and she took a chance at licking across his tip even while he moved. He cursed in Asgardian and buried his fingers in her hair, begging her to keep doing it. She did her best, the constant motion making it a tricky thing, and she received a chin full of spunk for her effort, her startled movement away letting the rest spill on to her neck and chest.
"A little warning!"
Loki just stared down at her, a sheen of sweat on his face and torso, pupils blown and face relaxed. "My apologies," he offered, but the lazy smile that followed told Darcy he wasn't really. "That was quite something."
"I hope it was memorable." She shifted back onto her haunches, ready to rise, but his hand still in her hair stilled her.
"It was that and more," he confirmed, voice soft. For a moment an emotion crossed his features, a peek at something she'd glimpsed before but he always did his best to hide from her. It reminded Darcy of why she was doing this, and why it would hurt so much to see him go. For all the imbalance in their relationship, there was still so much potential that would now never be explored.
"I'm glad," she replied, for once letting the mask she felt required to wear around him drop. She hoped she could see everything she felt in that moment, not least the wistfulness for what could never be, but also the hope that his future path would be kinder to him than the past. "I need to clean off."
Liquid was sliding south on her skin, and the corset was dry clean only. There were some stains she didn't to have to explain to a dry-cleaner.
When she returned from the bathroom, this time wrapped in her normal, fuzzier, robe, Loki was waiting for her. He was propped up the door jamb, expression pensive.
"You said there was no occasion for the, er, pleasant surprise, and yet I do not believe that's entirely true. Why today?"
"Thought I'd better wear that thing while I had the chance. I spent enough money on it." She figured she was doing a good impression of nonchalant as she brushed past him, heading to the kitchen.
He followed her. "Ah. Because I am going to Asgard."
"Exactly. It was meant to be a surprise for Valentine's, but since you won't be here I thought it was now or never."
"Never?"
"I figured you'd like to see it before you left."
"I see."
"I mean, you're going, aren't you? You don't ignore a summons from the Allfather, and you definitely don't pass up the chance to go home…" She was babbling now, her mouth bypassing her brain as his short answers spurred her to keep talking while she went through the motions of pouring herself a glass of water.
"You are so eager to be rid of me?"
His words-no, not just his words, the tone of them, the quiet distress, made her pause, but it didn't shut her mouth.
"No, I just thought-I mean, you've wanted this for a long time, and it's your mom, so I figured you'd be going as soon as you could and hey, that's cool because she's lovely and Asgard has to be better than here, right?"
"Darcy...while I will be returning to Asgard, it won't be permanent."
She turned to face him. "Huh?"
"I still have amends to make in other realms, particularly here, and there's plenty to return to on Midgard, wouldn't you say?"
"I don't know." Because she really didn't. He seemed to be urging her on to some revelation with his eyes alone, which was a little unnerving and also impractical because she couldn't read minds. "Do you mean me?"
"Of course I mean you."
"Oh. I know we're a thing but I didn't think we were a Thing and-"
"We cohabit, do we not?"
"Yes."
"That's a sign of serious commitment in Asgard. Truly, it's unheard of out of wedlock."
She found herself blinking at him, trying to grasp at whatever it was he was trying to say. "Well, it's not like you ever told me you love me, so I wasn't reading anything into it, I promise."
He made a noise of frustration. "I have said as much, many times over! Ég elska þik-what more do you want?"
She recognised the phrase, something he'd muttered countless times in the throes of passion. She'd assumed it was a benediction to whatever gods Loki believed in, or some particularly creative cursing. "Um...English. How was I supposed to understand that?"
He growled, but the tips of his ears had turned pink, a sure sign of uncertainty. The tension broke in her, a giggle rising.
"Say it again," she demanded.
He sighed. "Ég elska þik."
"No, in English."
Another sigh, one that barely masked his insecurity under a veneer of annoyance. "Very well: I love you."
"So you really are staying?"
"Yes. The idea is that I will act as a diplomat between the realms."
"Good. Because we obviously need to work on your communication skills. Repeat after me: I love Darcy Lewis and I will always remember to say it to her in a language she understands."
"Don't test me."
"Alright, alright. For what it's worth, I love you too."
The words were a great weight off her tongue, but that was nothing compared to the shift in Loki's expression when she'd said them.
"It's worth a great deal indeed."