Skywards
Long ago, the first time I appreciated the celestial sphere above, I was fascinated with how the stars could predict the future, or so my grandmother told me. I never did understand most of what she told me, until that sky that only she knew and told me of was gone.
After that, when I would look into the sky it would feel so lonely.
Later, when I would slowly raise my chin and shift my eyes beyond the clouds, to the two moons and I would be overcome with homesickness, so intense that it made me... want to cry.
Now, as I gaze into space on a star lit night, I think about the people of the planet that sits behind the dark side moon, and I feel a longing for them. Or really, just one of them. Because it wasn't a dream, it wasn't a vision, it was all just too real....
As a toddler, I had no need to look into the sky, I was too concerned with what was happening around me to do much else.
As a young boy, forced to grow up too fast in too short a time, I would thrust my chin upwards and my eyes would rake the sky looking for any sort of reassurance or guidance. Finding none, I would drop my eyes back to the ground as fast as they had come up and trust my instincts.
As a young man, I had no reason to gaze into the heavens at any time of day anymore. I was busy as a prince, soon to be a king, and had no time to do such a frivolous thing. I had to train, to study and to learn to rule with a fair hand.
As a man, (by the standards of my planet, not the one that hung in our sky) I still did not allow my eyes to wander upwards unless absolutely necessary. This changed when I suddenly found myself on the blue moon that hung in our sky, suddenly the sky became important because it told me where I was.
Finally as a man made more wise by experience, I find my eyes attempting to bore holes into the moon peeking out from behind the gray pock-marked one. I wonder where she is and if she misses me like I miss her....
Idiot. I truly was one. We were only given a few passing chances to talk to each other, and I could never manage to get the words out to tell him that I loved him. I used to laugh at comics where the heroine couldn't say it to her love interest, but now I've found out how hard it is to get out those three tiny words. Maybe he didn't feel the same....
We would see images of each other in the day, and only a few hurried words could be said by one party. At night, we could talk in dreams, but they were horribly blurry, and we couldn't touch each other. Surely that would make it easier, I think.
And the setting of these dreams is just too surreal, we are floating about in space, with the stars and planets revolving around us. There is so much to look at, so much to take in! We didn't always meet there at the same time, and our time together was limited too. We both have to be asleep for one, and then both of us have to dream, there is only so much a lone pendant can do.
I don't have the pendant anymore he wears it all of the time. That means he has to feel some sort of affection towards me, right? Our love can, no it does, span two skies, it shines across the heavens! I believe in this, it is my only hope for us to be together. I believe in him.
We never broach the subject of "US". I'm just too afraid that she would not want to really "see" me again. Or even worse, that she would rather see Allen again. No, NO! I know she is not in love with Allen, or else she would still be here, and as horrible as the thought is, married to him.
Between her and I, would could barely scrape up enough maturity to keep going during the Fated War. After these years, at least I have reached an age with enough maturity to come to terms with the fact that I love her, and that I will probably never love anyone else. At least in the way that I love her.
I wonder if I told her, (that they were pushing me to find a wife now, and that she was the only one who I would want as a wife), what she would say. My fantasies range from her being overjoyed, to being awkward, to rejecting me. Sometimes it feels like what I am doing is like crying in the rain, everything is hidden so well by the environment that we have no control over, for better or worse.
What I would give to be able to hold her again! To finally kiss her, because we never did, because we were too shy. I cannot bring her here without telling her, and I cannot go there without a proper warning. She has never mentioned either, but then again neither have I. I just want to be by her side, see what she looks like after all of this time...!
I am hopeless. It cannot be a "true" love if neither party has ever voiced it. Sure, I dreamt of her saying that she was in love with me when I dueled with Allen in the Fated War, but I am certain it was a dream. She would have said something to me otherwise, or would she have been too shy? Her actions spoke of her love for me then. That I am certain of.
One day...
...I will lift my my eyes towards the sky....
...and wish with all my heart...
...to be together...
...once again.
A/N: 1st fanfiction, I suck at grammar, thank god for spell check and I'm a rather pessimistic person. Also, I do not like to indent. Now that we have that out of the way: read it, tell me what you think even if its just "thiz sux ballz" or something, and tell me if there are any blaring mistakes... Repetition and parallels in the story are intended. Commas are my lovers. I don't like to write dialogue that is spoken aloud. Kinda pisses me off that they speak in turns, and I'm the one writing it. No names... Prologue or one-shot? = Irritating damn question. But I'm needy =(. And I refuse to post anything less than 1,000 words. It's 12:30 in the morning. What is with writing late at night.... Oh yeah, and I'm embarrassed to upload something because I feel I'm inadequate compared to the marvelous writers on this site. Despite the fact that I'm a lazy reviewer. I'm trying to get better. Sora, out!
PS. Edited through a second time. (Thanks Suils Saifir for pointing out the error in the first sentence.)