Me: Okay so this is my first oneshot!
Tye: And a far warning...it sucks!
Me: Does not OAO
Tye: Ellie-chan own's nothing besides the plot!
Okay so here I was, minding my own business and drinking my Starbucks (which Ino randomly decided I deserved today…anyone else getting suspicious over here?), when Ino decided that it was time for me to get a boyfriend.
"Sakura, are you a lesbian? Cuz if you are, I'm going to have to take precautions in this friendship. I mean don't get me wrong, I love you, but I have Shika-kun and I don't swing that way." Ino ranted on.
I knew the free Coffee wasn't a good sign.
"Ino-pig! What the hell?"
Okay that came out a little to loud. Great, now the old people in the corners looking at me funny. Perfect just perfect.
"Can we just not talk about this?" I whispered urgently.
"Well I wanna know why you don't have a boyfriend yet. All you do is work at the hospital! How boring is that!" Ino huffed.
"Oh Kami-sama, why me?" I muttered to myself as I walked out the door leaving the blonde-haired woman before anymore stupid questions are asked.
"Sakura! What the- sorry, sorry- Ah! My Coffee! Eek! Your paying for that mister! This is a new pair of - Sakura! I'll bill you later, you bitch. Wait for me!" Leave it to Ino to create a nice little mess when she leaves.
Turning my head around, I scrunched up my nose. "Ino, you can't do anything right can you?" I muttered.
"Sakura! Look out for the…never mind it's to late." Ino muttered the last part to herself.
Now I'll give you a hint. I'm lying on my ass and my coffee is spilled on the floor. Yep you guessed it. I'm on the ground and my ass fucking hurts.
I look up and glare.
"Watch were the fuck your going, pal. Your sure as hell gonna run your ass up to Starbucks and get my fucking-" Oh yeah I was pissed.
"Sakura?" the man in front of me tried to help me up.
"Naruto? What the hell? Why are you here? I thought you were doing the whole travel the world, gain world domination thing?" I asked.
Unfortunately, as you can see, I know the baka. He and I went through High School together. Him trying to convince me to date him and me punching him across the face. (Ah! Good times…O_O)
"Naw, I decided to go to college instead, I'm going into government. So what have you've been up to?" Naruto gave his signature smile. You know the one that makes his left eye twitch after awhile and looks like his cheeks are going to crack.
"I'm actually working as a doctor here." I smiled back. (Hmm, I wonder when it's going to start twitching.)
"Cool." Looking over his shoulder, Naruto beckoned someone over. (Not just someone but a hot ass someone. Note to self get said someone's phone number.) "Hey, Sasuke-teme! Get your ass over here! Sasuke this is a friend of mine from High School." Sending me a wink at the friend comment. (He's dead. *-*)
"Hi, I'm Sakura Haruno. Nice to meet you." I smiled at him warmly. (Okay maybe a little obsessive like. I wonder what he looks like under those clothes. Bad thoughts Sakura!)
"Hn." was all he said. As in he started walking away all he said!
Well he was walking away until Naruto slapped him upside the head. (I decided I'll kill Naruto later. I'm starting to understand why I hanged out with him in High School.)
"How dare you treat, My Sakura-chan that way!" (Or maybe not, I'll start working on the cover-up story.)
"What the fuck, dope?" He can speak!
Oh shit, I said that out loud didn't I. Well that kinda explains why they stopped fighting and are staring at me like that.
"Hehe. I mean, look at the time. I got to go. Ino!" Leave it to the boar to ditch me! I can't really say I'm surprised though. That's it in the morning I'm making bacon. Take that bitch! ( Your Piggy-chan ain't got nothing on me!)
"Sakura-chan! Wait, you don't have a watch on!" Naruto shouted.
"It's not you it's me! Wait, that came out wrong!" I shouted in the air.
"Haruno-san. You dropped your wallet."
"You can call me Sakura." I answered automatically.
Unknown to me, I forgot to run and Naruto has stopping issues so…yeah I'm back on the ground. Maybe I should just skip my shift at the hospital today and just crawl into bed.
"Sakura-chan, your muttering your thoughts again." Naruto's voice puffed out.
Oh no, my worse nightmare has come true, my thoughts aren't safe. This is usually the scene were we ask our self….what would Jack Sparrow do? (Gotta love Johnny Depp.)
"Naruto just leave her. She's obviously insane." Naruto's friend that is referred to as "Sasuke-teme" rudely suggested. (Make a death plan for this "Sasuke-teme" now on to-do list.)
"Shut the fuck up you sex hoe you! Oh, I said that out loud….can I have my wallet now. Please." I'm screwed.
"Can I um…have a piece of paper and a pen please?" I whispered. (Yeah, give them the puppy eyes…it always works!)
"Sakura, you're my hero!" And now I'm getting jumped by Naruto. Just freakin' great. And I bet Ino's with her fucking "Shika-kun" while I'm stuck with a brainless idiot and a emotionally constipated asshole! (I've been cussing a lot today, maybe I should make an appointment with me physiatrist?)
"Ew! Get it off me! Get it off me!" Maybe that was a little harsh. Well it certainly isn't putting him down since he's, you know, still on me. (Not in the intercourse way either! Although if it was "Sasuke-teme" I wouldn't mind. Bad Sakura, keep those thoughts way!)
"I need a MAN!" I shout all of a sudden. Talk about embarrassing.
At least it got Naruto to stop. Heh, maybe I should pull a Houdini and disappear. (Who am I kidding I can't make anything disappear besides my food. That's pretty sad. Maybe I'll give my physiatrist a call today.)
How awkward is it to just be standing there frozen after that. Cause that was what we pretty much were doing. That and having this 'WTF' look on our faces. (Ah! The humiliation….I think I'll go cry in a corner now.)
"I'm just gonna…you know, go away now." I whispered. (Pa-the-tic! I'm so changing my identity now….and relocating to the South Pole at least Santa would welcome me with open arms….or was it the North Pole. I'll have to ask the when I get to the airport.)
"This is so stupid! Arg, exchange numbers with me and I'll pay you back for your Coffee the dope spilled."
To say I was shocked was a major understatement. Naruto looked just as shocked as I was what "Sasuke-teme" said and I think he was possibly scared too. (I can never tell with that boy)
"Sasuke, that's the most I've ever heard you speak to a girl besides your mom!" And Naruto just ruined the moment.
"You live with your mom!" Don't misunderstand me, I mean every man is a momma's boy deep down but this guy looks more of a rebel than a mamma's boy. (Actually that's kinda sexy. O_O Bad thoughts! Who knew I was such a perv.!)
"No! I do not live with my mother. I just visit often that's all." he muttered. (HAHAHAHA he's blushing! Kawaii!)
"Often? Psh, man, you visit like every freakin' day!" Naruto yelled to the world.
"Hn." Seriously, who grunts as a response. Oh yeah Sasuke does. (Nice comeback sweetheart, really I feel for you.)
"So behind all that sexy, manly, and all over sex appeal, you're a sensitive, emotional mamma's boy. Your just to cute!" I had to squeal, it was a fan-girl-squealy-jump-that-man's-bones kinda moment. (Of course he barely let me hug him for a second….jerk.)
"Whatever." he said under his breath.
"Sasuke and Sakura sitting I a tree K-I-… um…R-A-M-E-N!" and cue unmanly Naruto giggles. (O_O WTF. I'm just feeling sorry for the woman to marry that.)
"Naruto, I'm going to kill you!" Sasuke and I (not joking the to of us, as in together, as in at the same time) yelled.
Naruto's resistance was futile. Yep that's right, we locked him a closet. Of course after all the punches and kicks, we thrown some instant ramen in there for him. But his hands and feet were tied up so…I don't know how that worked out. (CHA! Suck on that Batch! Okay that was mean I'm sorry. Please forgive wittle Sakuwa-chan. Work the puppy eyes. Work them!)
"It's pleasure working with you Sasuke-kun." I smiled evilly. Which earned me a smexy smirk. (Oh yeah bow down.)
"Pleasure is all mine…Sakura-chan." Sasuke-kun's voice was like velvet.
"I think I'm in love with you!" I blurt out in response.
Then the most amazing thing happened.
Sasuke-kun laughed.
"How about I come by your place and pick you up tomorrow for dinner?" he smiled at me. (I think I'm going to faint…Deep breathes Sakura. In. Out. In. Out. BAD THOUGHTS!)
"Um..o..." I think that came out more of a slur of letters than an actual word.
"I'll stop by your place at six then." He's smile grew wider. And it wasn't like Naruto's twitchy, stretchy smile. It was more of a glittery vampire (reminder stop reading and watching Twilight) kinda smile that makes the sun look like a burnt out light bulb. (Which reminds me, I need to put a new light bulb in my dinning room.)
I think my day just got ten times better. (Lies! It's more like infinity times better. I think I'm turning into a drama queen. I've been hanging around Ino to much. I'm in the mood for cake now.)
After I gave him my cell phone number and my house address, we had to (Sadly) part ways.
Ino is so not going to believe this at all. Although I think I'm going to leave the whole "I need a man…blah blah…Sasuke's a sex god part out".
And you know what else. I'm late for my hospital shift but that's okay cause….HOLY SHIT! I'M LATE TSUNADE IS GOING TO MURDER ME!
(Note to self…..write your will on your way to the hospital.)
Me: Yay! It's done!
Tye: About time too. I thought the readers were going to die!
Me: QoQ Really! I don't believe you!
Tye: Really.
Me: *walks into corner and sulks*
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