Title: A Thousand Surprises
Synopsis[AU, crackfic, slash and femslash Angua explains to Sally how things work in Ankh-Morpork.
Pairings: Er... Well, you'll see. Call it Sally/Angua. To start.
Rating: T for themes
A/N: A weird idea that my muse (harlot that she is) attacked me late at night with. As PTerry himself said, it all happens somewhere. Think of this as a bizarro-world, one of those improbable little alternate realities that has to exist somewhere.
"...Are you flirting with me?" Angua asked point-blank with Detritus-like tact.
"No-oo... oh, okay. Yes," Sally admitted, cursing her species' innate libidinous drives.
"That's a relief," Angua sighed. "I thought it was just me." She pushed the vampire up against the nearest wall and kissed her deeply.
"Mm... Mmm... M-Wait," Sally gasped. "I thought you and Carrot..."
"He owes me," she said with a shrug. "After what he and Vimes did..."
"Wait... Carrot and the Commander? But he's married! Doesn't Lady Sybil get mad?"
"Only when she doesn't get to watch. Besides, she's pretty used to it after all the times he and the Patrician--"
"Lord Vetinari? There are those rumors about him and his clerk, and sometimes that postmaster guy, but..."
"So?"
"Are they true?"
"For a given value of truth. I mean, he's not exactly the settling-down type, is he?"
"Wow," Sally sighed bemusedly. "They told me this was the city of a thousand surprises, but this is just..."
The werewolf's eyes glinted dangerously. "Oh, that's nothing. You should hear what goes on up at the University--"
Quickly, Sally leaned forward and covered Angua's rumor-stained lips with her own before her mind expanded so far it snapped.