Disclaimer: *dial tone* Hi, this is Emilia! I'm not home right now because I'm off doing things that are much more important, like serving 10-20 years in jail because I said I owned Digimon. If you still want to leave me a message, leave a message after the music. *beeeeeeeep!* * "Break Up" starts to play*
Well how 'bout that? I'm back from my vacation to hell- and with bronchitis even! That's what I get for going Cross country skiing in below 0 degree weather when the lowest I'm used to is like 58… but Newayz, Who's glad to see me? Who's glad ta see me?? *counts heads* Cool! I'm glad to see you too! Yeah I know most lots of you are screaming "Emilia! Where the heck's the rest of 'Jogress Two Hearts Until They're One'????" And so I'm gonna scream back "I'm workin on it! Promise!" -_-v Okay, so what else… what else… oh! This fic is an entry for El Juno's "Random Fic contest". She is, BTW, a kensuke-ish daiken luver like moi, so go smother her with praise! The Wannabe Queen of Daiken/Kensuke commands you! *cough* okaaay… gomen, my medication…it makes me crazy… buuuut on with da fic!
Lost in your dreams
---Takeru's POV---
I turn, my eyes sore from crying, my face sore from rubbing it with my sweaty palm, my heart sore from too much. Hikari buries her face into my sleeve, her tears soaking through, pressing into my skin. Why did this happen? Miyako…
We all thought you would grow out of it; out of your fairytale dream. But even Snow White can't wait forever for her prince to come, especially when her prince doesn't want a princess. And you were a princess Miyako, just like Mimi was, but you couldn't be his knight in shining armor.
I can't help but wonder what he's thinking right now- if he regrets keeping it a secret for so long, if he wishes he could've gone after you that night at the party.
We all thought you knew about them, Miyako. We really did. Maybe you were just too blinded by your desires that you weren't ready. But you didn't need to run out like that Miya-chan. You could have talked to me, or Hikari, or Taichi or even Iori! We were all there, at the party and there for you since the beginning.
It didn't have to happen like this, really. We- forget them! I thought you knew about them! It's tearing me apart, Miyako, tearing my heart that you would do that; that you would make us all sit, surrounded by white lilies and incense, tears in our eyes, burning our cheeks as we struggle not to break down and be carried away in hysterics. I didn't have to be like this Miyako! I thought you knew about them…
---Hikari's POV---
I never knew losing my best friend could hurt so much; you won't come back to us in an egg, will you? No, I didn't think so. I choke back a strangled cry and squeeze Takeru's arm harder. He looks down at me with streaming red eyes and struggles to smile. Always the bringer of hope, ne? Hope… I'm suddenly reminded of the digimentals, our digimentals. Mine was light and yours, Miyako, they were love and purity.
You always seemed so pure Miyako; so full of love and cheerfulness. But your love… Miyako, it was doomed before it even happened. He didn't need your love Miyako. He had kindness, which held a love of it's own. Oh, Miyako…
You could have come to any of us. Takeru; he could have given you hope. Iori; he would've listened to you and held you until you stopped crying. Me; I would be your friend like I always have been; the crest of light wouldn't do much in this situation.
I still remember those nights when you would bring over Hawkmon and spend the night. He used to murmur in his sleep, "Miyako will be happy someday. She'll marry Ken and they'll be the perfect couple! They'll have monkeys, and little monkeys, and, OOH! Froot Loops birds! I'll just follow my nose- where ever it goes!" Heh, do you remember that, Miyako? Of course you don't… that last thoughts in your head probably weren't anywhere near that, were they?
It all seemed to happen so fast Miyako. Why didn't you tell em what was wrong? You looked so beautiful that night in you dress; it matched your hair. But instead of talking with me all night like you usually did, all you said to me was "Hey Hikari!", "Have you seen…you know… yeah, duh! K-E-N!", and "Oh! I'll be right back!". A hour later, you pushed me into the punch table.
Miyako… why? Why do I have to see you like this? You always told me your dreams, they were beautiful. I wanted your dreams Miyako. But now no one, not even you can have them.
Takeru said you knew. Iori said you knew. We all thought you knew about them Miyako. Now I wish you never had.
---Iori's POV---
You were my walking angel on Earth, Miyako. You lit up all our lives and now… now someone's held a glass over the flame whispering "Shall we put out the light? But once it is out, I cannot give it vital breath again.". Oh Miyako, I'm sorry it happened like this, so sorry. If I had known, I wouldn't have told you where they were, really! Maybe if you had waited a while longer, you could have accepted it.
I hate this so much; sitting here on a hard chair, tears running from my eyes like a mountain stream. Me, the responsible, the sincere and composed one is crying for my friend. Sora whispered to me that I could go see you, but I can't. It would be like trying to ignite a wet paper bag. These thoughts make my hearts twist, Miyako. Twist more than usual.
I remember that dance we all went to once. You asked him to dance and he politely turned you down. You walked away, smiling. Then I saw you, looking at your reflection in a glass of punch. "Why did he say no?" You kept whispering, your tears making minuscule ripples in the red liquid. "There's something wrong with me, I know it! I'm ugly! I'm creepy! I'm creepy and disgusting! No wonder he hates me!" Miyako, no one's creepy on the inside. Some people are lost, and some are hurting, and some are afraid. But none of them are creepy, including you.
We all convinced you that you weren't ugly. You were beautiful. Mimi even gave you a facial to make you feel better, remember? Why couldn't you stop and let her give you another one that night Miyako? It would have helped you, really.
You waltzed up to me, all smiles, so confident and excited. "Iori, have you seen, you know… yeah ya do! Come on! How could you not? K-E-N! Have you seen him?" You ran your tongue over your red lips and smiled as I smiled. He had gone off with Daisuke to find something in his room. You pranced away, on top of the world. Then I realized something; that smile on your face, your hungry eyes, your love-struck grin- didn't you know?
Miyako, I tried to catch up to you, really I did. But I lost you in the crowds. I had no idea Ken could fit so many people into his house.
Miyako, I'm sorry. I feel like it's my fault. I thought you knew about them, really I did. Takeru said you knew, Hikari said you knew. I didn't' want this to happen. I didn't want the light to never again be given vital breath.
--- Daisuke's POV ---
I'm still waiting to run out of tears. That time hasn't come yet. Miyako, why did you…? How did you manage to…? Did you love him for all that time? Not that I would've let you have him, but Miyako, you should have said something! Hikari told me about your dreams, how you would sit at the window, watching clouds, whispering "Oh that one looks like Chibimon. And that one looks like Patamon. And that skinny one looks like a match. No, Patamon, setting people on fire is wrong. Hee hee, you're silly, Patamon!" And how at night, you would toss and turn on her floor, muttering to yourself until she woke up and looked down at you from her bed.
She said you would whisper that you loved him. My him, Miyako? The one at my side right now? You loved him… but he loved me and vise versa.
How long were you blind to it all Miyako? You might've loved him, but it was a bitter, diffused love. You soul was too shattered by your insistent devotion.
Miyako, Iori and Hikari told me what happened during the party. They told me what happened while I was in his room with him. He had taken me in his arms on the dance floor a.k.a. the living room, holding me close to him as we danced. Suddenly, he began to sing softly in my ear "Only you, forever and ever. Yours forever, to death do us part. I could hold you forever, I could love you forever. Can? Be yours till forever and ever…". I went limp, Miyako. His breath is so warm, so soft and his voice is so low, it drifts through my ears like the smoke that rises from the sticks of incense at your alter; in thin, graceful ribbons that sway to their own private dance
I saw you, out of the corner of my eye, talking to Hikari. That was it, then I let Ken catch me to his silken lips. How could I resist him, Miyako? I never had before and I wasn't about to now. He led me back to his room, although I was already familiar with the directions. My clothes easily found themselves in a pile on the ground next to his as he pulled me against him, our burning lips devouring each other. His mouth, pulling, biting, licking every inch of my skin- Miyako it was an ecstasy we indulge in regularly.
I didn't know you were looking for him, Miyako. He didn't know either. All we knew was each other as his hands slowly began to work away at me, finding the all too familiar points in me that made me cry his name like a child of four.
We had no clue Miyako… no clue. We thought you'd heard from the others about us. Takeru said you knew, Hikari said you knew, Iori said that they said that you knew. Miyako… oh Miyako… your dreams turned to a nightmare and that turned to nothing.
--- Ken's POV ---
Everyone keeps staring at me here at Daisuke's side. Always the composed one, I can't really cry. A few of your friends, ones I never met before, glare at me. Miyako, I still can't believe it. I thought your crush went away years ago. Maybe Daisuke and I kept it a secret for too long, that's why you never caught on. But Miyako, you had too much faith that I would open my eyes and see you.
I opened my eyes every morning Miyako and I saw you lots of times, but you were who you were; Miyako. Even seeing you laying there,, so pale, unmoving, you're just Miyako. I think they expect me to walk up to your body and lay a rose on you, whispering that it was a mistake and I really loved you. I think you'd probably expect me to do it too. Well I'm sorry. I can't. I don't love you Miyako, I never had and I never will.
Miyako, that night at my party; what were you hoping would happen? What were you planning to do when you found me? Hikari said you asked her where I was, then you asked Iori. What were you planning to do? Just find me?
Well you found me all right- naked, laying on my beloved Daisuke, covered in sweat, covered in liquid as his chest heaved beneath me, my sexually driven pleasure still partly in him as tears ran from his beautiful eyes. I ran my hand along his stomach, down his leg, whispering "Daisuke, I love you forever angel.". Then, we heard your gasp and I looked to see you, your shadow in the doorway, staring, a look of disbelief in your large eyes as you eyed our bodies together on my bed.
It was so quiet for such a brief moment as you waited for me to sputter "Wait! I can explain!" But it never came for you, so you screamed "No! I wasn't supposed to happen like this!" And you stormed out. By the way, thank you for leaving the door wide open so all the guests could see what Daisuke and I had been up to…
Hikari says she asked you what was wrong, but you pushed her into the punch table. They say Yamato tried to calm you down, but you punched him in the lip. Then, you ran out the door, into your car; the one that you always complained needed new brakes. Koushiro went after you on Daisuke's motorcycle. He said he had never seen a car glide so gracefully off a bridge. It looked like it knew where to go already. Unfortunately, it took you with it.
Now I've got to sit here, with people glaring, staring at me as I sit, tearless, looking at your lifeless body with Daisuke by my side. They all said you were a beautiful person, and I don't deny you that. You could have had any boy you wanted- or any girl at that matter. But you wanted me. And not being able to have me was something you couldn't handle, wasn't it? You had too many dreams, too much faith that I'd love you back.
Funny, I thought you knew about Daisuke and me. Everyone else did. Takeru, Hikari, Iori, Taichi, Yamato, Koushiro, Mimi, Sora, Jyou… they all knew. How many lies and dreams did you use to block it away? Miyako…poor poor Miyako….
You were lost to us before you even died.
OWARI
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Ja minna! n_n