Author: Godess_jessie

Title: The Passengers

Cain was completely exhausted as he made his way back to his quarters in the castle. Having just finished a training run with some new Tin Man recruits he was looking forward to doing nothing more than crawling into bed and sleeping the night away. He slipped into his quarters, starting to strip down, wanting nothing more than a shower and bed, but in his current state even the shower was looking less and less likely.

He'd just started to pull off his shirt when a light moan drew his attention to the bed behind him. Turning slowly toward the sound he was shocked to find DG smiling back at him mischievously, resting comfortably within his sheets.

"DG, what are you doing here?" Cain asked in defeat, his fatigue showing in his eyes as he tossed his shirt into the hamper.

She merely smiled at him in response as she sat up in the bed, letting the blankets fall enough to show her bare shoulders and leaving him to wonder whether she was wearing very little or nothing at all beneath them.

"I came to see my Tin Man," she said in a low seductive tone and watched Cain's features relax visibly at her words.

"If they catch you in here again I will be in a lot of trouble." Cain said as he exhaled, a smile slowly spreading across his lips.

"Mmm…but isn't it worth the risk?" She asked as she knelt on the bed, letting the blanket fall from her revealing her completely nude body.

DG smiled watching him catch his bottom lip with his teeth in desire, his eyes wandering over her form longingly.

"For you, baby? It's worth anything and ieverything,/i" he purred as he walked to the bed. The instant their bodies met he leaned down to kiss her hungry mouth, lightly at first, but soon enough the kiss had deepened. She held him close to her bare body, crying out into his mouth at the feeling of her aching breast pressing against his warm chest.

Oh, how she iwanted/i him. She wanted him so badly it stole her breath and judging by the bulge that was forming in his pants she could tell he wanted her, as well.

Cain made quick work of removing his pants, stepping out of them and returning to her in an instant. She smiled up at him coyly as she began stroking his Pelvic Paladin.

"Tell me, Cain…what do you want to do to me?" She asked, giving his shaft a few more strokes.

He pressed his mouth to hear ear, growling, "I want to drive my meat train in your darkened tunnel and unload passengers in your subway of desire."

DG was panting now. "Oh God, yes baby. I want that too. Oh God, Cain! Please, impale me with your meat train!" She cried.

Cain was happy to follow his princess' wishes. He moved in and impaled her with his meat train.

DG was screaming in ecstasy, enjoying every second of the ride. "Oh God, Cain! Drive that train harder, faster. Make it an express train. I want your passengers inside me now."

"Your wish is my command." He said, driving her home.

And then DG came, over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over.

"Wow that was the bed sex I ever had." DG said as Cain collapsed on top of her.

And they fell asleep in each other's arms.

The end.

bunderlinecenterBADGIRL'S BETA NOTES: /b/underline

This crack!fic has been brought to you by the incomparably ibrilliant/b mind of Godess_jessie. You've just been played.

If you are sitting there thinking anything negative about this story the comedy obviously went right over your head.

You may forward any harsh reviews to me at or, since I value your criticism so much, feel free to call me at b215-618-1505 /bto speak your piece.

For those of you that are snorting and laughing your asses off, join the club! I mean, come on! Isn't this thing bawesome? /bHa-ha

Please remember the rules of the fandom, "If You Read It, Feed It"! Let's keep our authors going with reviews; they're what keep the fics coming. Be sure to spread the word and share the laugh ;) /center

A/N: I have a friend, Nathan, who always makes these funny comments like "Wouldn't it be funny if…." I would laugh and be like "Maybe." Then Jen wanted me to write a Cain/DG after I just said I never do it, for there is just way too many good ones out there and I'm never one to do what everyone else does. ^_^ So I decided to write a "Nathan inspired" Crack!fic instead. Never was going to post it until I showed it to BG, (see message is bellow) and she forced me to post it. So here it is, hope you enjoyed it.