I
am a Digidestined thus I am who I am
By
Celestra (AKA Les)
Lets
get down to business. This is a fanfic about the Digidestined. You might think
it's dumb. But we are all entitled to our opinion. Well, except Les, because
her opinion, along with her warped sense of humor, could destroy the world. *Snaps
up* Yes. The business. This captures whom the real kids behind the heroism
of the Digidestined are, and the point I'm trying to make! (Yokata,
you're not helping!) In any case, it's what the 01 Digidestined think of each
other. No, not romance, in general. I wrote this after reading Kyra's 'I am
Matt'. I think it is kind of depressing, with wallowing in emotions, trying to
find themselves throughout the physical and emotional place the Digiworld can
be . . .Yet there are quite a few funny comments they make for being so
depressed. (Les walks in) Pay no attention to Celestra. She had too much sugar
this morning. And there is no Kari or Elanna.
(Tai's POV (point-of-view)
I slid down into a
sitting position, my back against a tree. I was tired. I know, I know, I'm
supposed to be the leader with never-ending energy, but I am human. Or so I
thought. Maybe I wasn't because no normal human could grow hair like mine.
I glanced around
and saw TK. Matt was so protective over him. I don't know why. Well, I do.
They're brothers. And TK was special; I had to admit. And no one (even me)
could let him get hurt. Maybe because of his youthful innocence. Wish I had
some youthful innocence. Or maybe not, because I'm not like TK.
I saw Sora, with a
faraway look in her eyes. Miss Protector. I won't admit it, but I have a lot of
respect for someone as loving but not loving in her way, which is better. Seems
to me like she's everyone's big sister. Not that I mind. Much. Sometimes she
annoys me, telling me to stop being reckless. Sometimes I even listen. I really
surprise myself. I'm not like her at all. That's not who I am. And she is there
to stop me fighting with Matt.
Matt. He's one
dude who can't seem to stop fighting. But really, I know he's sensitive. We've
been friends for a long time, though we don't show it. We learn things about
each other. He knows I'm not a complete jerk. Most times, anyways. Personally,
I think he's cool. But as I continue to say, he is very protective. And
that harmonica! It bugs me! And what bugs me even more is that he's playing it
right now. Aw, good. He's stopped. But anyway, that's his way of letting out
steam. His other way is taking it out on me. But he's a good friend. But he's
not who I am. I should find myself before I lose myself. Or my way.
Author's Note:
Not true! His harmonica is kewl!
Then, there's Joe.
Now Joe, he's a different case. A basket case, more likely. But he's not a
loser. He's not a winner from what I can see, but he's not a loser. What he is
is reliable. And cautious. And klutzy, to mention it, but he's a good friend.
Sorry to say, he doesn't always act his age. Not that I'm complaining. He is.
But he can be courageous, if needed. Needless to say, that's still not me.
And there was
Mimi, talking with Palmon, trying to teach her how to bargain, no doubt. But
before, when we came here, whenever she spoke, she was complaining. Needless to
say, she has changed. She is definitely more sincere. I suppose she's learned
that whining won't get her out of messes. She seems to have adapted. Though
sometimes, not too well. I am not like her, and in any case, I'm glad. I'm not
going into any details; I might barf in my brain. I don't think that's
possible. I'll have to ask Izzy.
Author's Note:
I don't hate Mimi!
Izzy. Now he's a
different story altogether. In any case, you might I resent him just a little.
He's a really nice kid and all that, not a bad soccer player for a kid that is
always on a computer, but he and his grades are a little too smart. I think
he's an alien gathering all the knowledge, and is just waiting till I'm in the
middle of an exciting soccer game and he'll start reporting school facts.
Nooooooo! That could kill me. But Izzy isn't like that. But, I feel bad about
his parents' thing. Yet, I still can't find me.
I've seemed to
lose myself. I don't know who I am. I mean, I know who the others are,
but I don't know who I am. Either that or I've forgotten. Yet, now I can
remember something about me a little more clearly . . . Never mind. I know who
I am.
I am a
Digidestined. I am who I am, and I am Tai.
(Joe's POV)
I was tired. Must
be hangover from the last fight. I never thought I'd get hangovers from
anything except complaining or allergies. Mind you, that's not really me. Most
of the time, it is. But that's not the true me. Yet I've lost myself and don't
know whom the real me am. Maybe the others can help me without knowing it. I
seem to need a lot of help.
I glanced at Tai,
who was leaning against a tree, with a faraway look in his eyes as he gazed at
each and every one of us. Maybe he was also trying to find himself. Ha! I know
who he is. Tai. I just don't know who I am. Tai, the impetuous
leader, and the one I'll probably never be like. But inside, if know he's a
good guy. But sometimes he makes me feel like such a coward; probably because
he has the Crest of Courage. I know for sure I'm not like him.
I saw Mimi ask
Izzy something. Mimi was, well, ditzy. Not to be rude because I like her,
because she seems to be like me. But she used to complain more then me. But
that was before. Now she's so sincere, maybe because of her crest. But she
seems to have realized that no amount of complaining will save the world. Maybe
I should learn from her and only complain once in awhile. And I know I won't
find myself with her.
And she was
talking with Izzy. Izzy. Izzy was a genius, and that's putting it mildly. He
has the super-brain of the century. No, the millennium! But seriously, I don't
think anybody could be as smart as him. Well, maybe that Ken guy. (^_^)
Interesting. He always carries that laptop with him. But I shouldn't
talk; I carry around a medicine bag. In any case, I won't find myself through
Izzy. Though he might find me with that laptop of his.
A little ways off,
TK was talking endlessly with Patamon, maybe explaining what exactly was so
important about the . . . from Patamon's expression, the survival of the
snack-machine race. TK was a cute kid with a lively imagination, I could give
him that. One thing is that TK seems to respect me. Or maybe he just respected
all the kids, even me. Or maybe he thought I had an imaginary kid-blasting
weapon in my bag. I noticed that as soon as Matt sat down, TK jumped into his
lap. I don't jump, and I'm sure TK's personality is not close to mine.
Matt. The cool
one. I know for sure I'm not like him; he's cool; I'm not; he's smooth; I'm
clumsy; he's got girls all over him; I don't. He's like ice; hard and smooth to
the touch. I know about his parents' separation; he's built a sort of wall
around himself and became icy. It must hurt a lot; he can hardly be with his
brother.
I turned my gaze
to Sora; the protector, the one who supposedly loves us all; who will protect
us (lovingly) all. Even me. Not that I'm ungrateful, the complete opposite. It
feels nice; looking out for the group but with someone helping. And she
respects the fact that I'm 'cautious'. Hysterical would be more likely. Not me.
Being like Sora, I mean.
I can't find
myself. I probably left me back in the real world. I feel so helpless, lonely
and empty without myself, despite my friends' presence. I looked down to my
crest suddenly, and I felt a sort of private burst of understanding light
within myself, because I finally remembered, realized, I am a Digidestined, I
am who I am, and I am Joe.
(Mimi's
POV)
I am so confused.
I am confused about this 'Digidestined' thing, about saving both worlds, about
digimon, and how to take care of Palmon. If I were brainy like Izzy, I would
maybe be able to handle it. But the fact, the real deal, is that I've seemed to
lose myself.
Izzy, the
brainiac, the super-brain, the computer genius. No doubt, he could probably
find who I forgot I am on his computer, but this is something I have to
do. I have to find myself. Izzy is perfect. He has perfect grades, he's sort of
popular, and his family is perfect. Almost. Not me. I'm not a brainiac.
I took a glance at
TK, running amok and playing under his brother's watchful eye, after getting
out of his brother's lap. TK was cute and everything, but I know I won't find
myself using him. I mean, come on! I can't be that carefree; I've got my hair
and nails and clothes and popularity to worry about! And I can't wear the color
green, even if it does hue my crest. But he seems to have a sort of youthful
innocence that makes you forget about worrying about anything. And he's
hopeful; reflecting on his crest without knowing it.
Under his
brother's watchful eye. That meant Matt. Matt, the 'cool one'. Matt's more then
what meets the eye, I've learnt. He and TK were separated when he was young, and
that seems to have affected him deeply. He is very sensitive, though.
Saying Matt is 'sensitive' is like saying chili sauce is 'warm'. But he still
is a really good friend. He just doesn't like to show it. I don't think I'm
like him.
I gazed at Sora, someone
I really got along with. My protector, it seems, everyone's protector. I
mean, she's like a motherly friend. Sora is easy to talk with, even though at
times, she is a tomboy. At least I can talk to a girl. As for my confused mind,
I'm not like or anything at all like Sora. But if I csn't find myself,
maybe I can be her.
Joe was near Sora,
looking sicker then usual. Now Joe is a different case. A bad case of the flu,
seeing how sick and green he is at the moment. Now I'm not running around
saying that he's gonna faint or anything, I don't run, I walk, and people can
see for themselves. Joe, actually, is pretty nice. Very reliable, but
over-cautious. And klutzy, too. I'm not trying to add insult to injury, but I
can't help it. It's in my personality. Or is it? I don't know. Yet.
Sitting with his
back against a tree, I saw Tai, who appeared to be deep in thought. That's a
first. Tai is more of a get-up-and-go-andget-his-butt-kicked-without-giving-a-first-or-second-thought
guy then a –lets-think-this-through-first-before-we-all-get-our-butts-whooped
guy. It strikes me odd that he is the leader, except that the fact remains that
leaders are always courageous and impetuous. Not to mention dependable and
hard-headed. More like hard-haired.
And me? As my
continually confused mind wanders over this puzzling idea, I suddenly realize
who I really and truly am.
I am a
Digidestined. I am who I am, and I am Mimi.
(Izzy's POV)
I am not
enjoying myself as much as usual. Then reason for that is my laptop isn't
working anymore; not for the last few minutes, anyway. And Tentomon, the only
one who really understands me, is the one off getting food. Also, there is
something bothering me. I don't remember who I am. All I remember is who the
others are, and how to work my laptop.
I saw TK out of
the corner of my eye, seeming less carefree then usual. He seemed to be in
thought, even as he played. He seemed so serious for a boy so young. I don't
think I am like TK . . . Who could be so carefree; not even worrying about
computers? With TK at his present age and being so innocent and carefree, it
reminds me when I was like that, but I learned about my parents...
I snuck a look at
Matt, who was watching TK in a depressed way. He looked like he was also in
deep thought. Seems to me that I'm seeing everybody in deep thought. For Matt,
deep thought was more natural; he thinks a lot, but when he talks, he seems to
either joke or fight. Matt was, no doubt about it, cool. At least, I think so,
the way he dresses and acts. I'm not like him. I couldn't be. I never will be
and never have, in my opinion. Maybe someone else thinks I'm like him, but
that's their lunacy, not mine.
I then gazed at
Sora, our big sister and protector. Sora is really the only one I've told about
my parents, but they heard any ways. (No romance there. Sora gets Tai.)
I don't mind, they won't tease me. Sora is a loving motherly figure, and as I
said, like a big sister looking out for her siblings. Except we're not her
siblings; we're her friends. Needless to say, I'm not very good with people, so
that crosses out if I am like Sora.
I turned my gaze
to Joe. Joe is different compared to Sora, well, maybe some idiot might think
they're twins or something, but that is idiocy. Joe is, well, I hate to say
this about such a good friend, but Joe is a hyperventilater, not to mention
clumsy. But really, he is a great friend. Who is reliable and we are all able
to confide our trust in him. Needless to say, I'm not like him, and not nearly
as clumsy as him, not to add any insult.
Then there was
Tai, looking tired as he leaned against a tree. Brave and courageous, and
almost fearless leader. The only things he is afraid of are homework, teachers,
girls (of mushy type), and makeup. I sort of look up to him, we all do, even
Matt, but sometimes we don't show it as much as we should. His courage has
strengthened us all in many ways. Not in knowledge, though. Sometimes he has
led me to believe that a hamster possesses more knowledge then him. No insult
to him, as he's one of my best friends. But I am not like him. Not with his
knowledge, anyway.
My gaze wandered
over to Mimi, who was laughing, but looking serious all the same. Mimi used to
complain A LOT, but she has changed. Now, she is very sincere, and when I go on
my computer, she doesn't mind as much, at least she doesn't *seem* to mind as
much; she doesn't show it. She doesn't whine anymore, she must've learned that
no amount of whining will save the worlds for her. And I definitely am not like
her.
And yet, I still
have no clue who I am. I know who the others are, but I am a mystery to myself.
But that night, I found out about my parents. My present parents called me 'Izzy',
and 'Koushiro'. And now, I finally remember who I am. I am a Digidestined. I am
who I am, and I am Izzy.
(Matt's POV)
Author's Note:
The plot of Matt's point-of-view was mostly written by Kyra. The
plot of it, but some of the other stuff was written strictly by me.
I down against a
tree, watching TK, yet seeming to enjoy myself. Or it seemed like that if
someone saw me. I can sort of put a mask over my face, hiding my true feelings.
Nobody could know how I felt, unless they experienced why do right now. I lost
myself. I doubt that happened to the others, but as I gaze at them, they seem
deep in thought, as if also trying to find themselves. Odd.
As I watched TK, I
thought some more. I was depressed for many reasons, losing myself and TK being
the chief reasons. I was scared for him. What if he got hurt? If he did, mom
would kill me, yet I know in my heart that I will protect him in order so that
horrible event won't come to pass. But seriously, I really am scared for
him. If TK was to get hurt, in my opinion, that would be worse if I got hurt.
At least, if I knew not one single thing wouldn't happen to him, I could worry
about myself, and concentrate on keeping me alive and well.
I then gazed at Sora.
Miss Mother. Miss Protector. I don't show it, but I do respect her. I
know that there is someone who would look out for me, even though she is
still looking out for the rest of the group. I feel somehow a little better.
She takes care of everyone, but I won't let her take care of TK if I am away. I
won't be away for him. Never. I still do trust her with my life, just not TK's.
I'm worrying too much, at the moment.
I saw Joe. Joe is
a different case. Diarrhea, I'd say at the moment; he looks like he'll puke.
But what I mean is, he looks out for the group like Sora, but differently. Way
differently. But he isn't a complete loser, just cause he carries a medic bag
around and looks like one. But when we first got here, all he was concerned
about was going home. Now he seems to have adjusted. With the groups' help, of
course.
There was Tai, leaning
against a tree, like me, looking serious as he pondered, maybe about losing
himself throughout the Digiworld, also. It seems he came up with a solution,
because his face is all bright, and now he is talking endlessly with Agumon.
Tai is a proven leader, though I don't show it. He is strong and
dependable, that's good. I'm too wrapped up with thinking and playing the
harmonica and TK to be a leader. Tai calls me the 'cool one'. Interesting.
Out of the corner
of my eye, I saw Mimi, laughing, as Izzy gazed at her, too. He looked away
suddenly. Mimi seems to have grown used to the Digiworld, like Joe. Before, and
sometimes now, she was complaining. As in every second. Now, it's more like at
least twice every day. Of course, for her to realize not to complain every
second, she must've learnt that she won't save the worlds by complaining about
it.
A little off from
the group, Izzy typed feverishly at his computer. Only a minute before, though,
his eyes had been dull. He seems to have solved his problem, whatever it was. I
sort of resent Izzy. Nothing personal, but man! He's got the best grades in school!
And I'm still struggling through my best subject! And his parents
are pretty nice. Izzy is nice, but sort of in a distant way.
And me? I'm trying
to explore myself to see who I am. Who I could be, by looking at the others.
Either I don't know anymore, I never did and pretended, or it's lost. But it can't
be lost. It's me. Me. That helps. I know. I am a Digidestined. I am who I am, and
I am Matt.
( Sora's POV)
Hm. I feel lost
and empty. I feel alone, despite the fact I'm surrounded by my friends. I was
depressed. Maybe because my friends were looking depressed, or maybe because of
my new, empty feeling. The thing is, I am lost. I've lost myself, my identity, who
I really am. I am empty, because I miss the feeling of knowing who I am.
I sighed and gazed
at Joe, wandering who I am and if I couldn't recognize myself, would I at least
recognize the others? But I recognized Joe. The one who seemed to help me watch
over the others. Though he seems dorky, he's a reliable friend, and helps me
with my sort of role of being a sort of big sister or mother to the group. Joe
helps. Or maybe it's the other way around, and I help him.
Tai looked exhausted.
Sometimes I think that the group expects too much of him, and without knowing it,
they add more to his work and without knowing it, he does it. They work him too
hard, poor guy. He was talking with Agumon. He seems to have his strength back as
the determined, dependable and strong leader he always was.
And Mimi. Mimi
seems to need me, to talk to, about stuff that bothers her and being surrounded
by boys and digimon. I can feel her pain, as she doesn't want to fight and she has
had digi-friends who have been deleted. However, she used to complain and cry.
She's adjusted. Good for her! I'm very happy for her! But still, why can't I be
happy, even if I am trying to remember who I am?
A little off, I saw
Izzy. Even if he is really smart, it's terrible about his parents. If he gets teased,
I feel terrible, because they don't know the ordeal he's been through. Poor
guy. And it happened to such a nice kid. He's nice, but sort of distantly. I
don't know much about him, though. Everybody says I know the most about him.
And I still feel bad about it.
I saw TK out of
the corner of my eye. I gazed at him, taking in every inch of him. I love that
little boy. Matt loves him like a brother, but I love as only a friend could.
He once told me that when he was around me or vice versa, he didn't miss his
mom as much. Also, he told me when I sing, it reminds him of when his mom sung lullabies
to him, and that when I smile, it yet again reminds him of his mom. It seems I'm
almost like a replacement for her.
And Matt, his
brother, who would protect TK with his life. Matt is like ice, I think. Inside,
like an iceberg, there is beauty, but in his case, it's feelings. He has
feelings, and he's very sensitive. Sometimes too sensitive, and in this case, he
punches Tai's face in. An iceberg's glacial beauty, if it would show in Matt, would
be in his eyes, that seemed so cold. But still, he's a good friend, despite any
coldness of his.
There. I went over
each Digidestined, but I can't find myself in any of them. I feel as if I don't
belong. But I do. Or else I wouldn't be a Digidestined. That's it! I know. It's
been hidden in names, in me. I am a Digidestined. I am who I am, and I am Sora.
( TK's POV)
I felt different. Not
a sort of giddy different, a difference in myself. But, that's part of the
problem. I can't find myself, and I'm not even nine! A lot of big people stuff
is happening to me. Like coming to a new world and meeting Patamon. But that
took place so long ago. But this a new feeling. The feeling of the loss of the
presence of myself. Maybe Matt can help. Maybe they all can.
So I looked over
at Matt. My brother. He's always there for me, always there to take my hand if
I'm scared or go in front of me to protect me, like he so often does. Sometimes
I get mad at him for making me feel like a baby, but I know he doesn't mean to.
He's the best big brother in the world! Except when he got mad at Tai. I don't like
it when he fights with him.
I looked at Sora.
Sora is like my mom, or at least my big sister. When my mom is gone but I'm with
Sora, I don't miss her as much. My mom, I mean. Sora is really nice, and
whenever Matt and Tai are fighting, Sora steps in and makes them stop. At
least, she tries to make them stop. It doesn't always work.
I looked at Joe. Joe
is nice, but he worries too much. But he helps and is kinda like Sora.
Sometimes I wonder what's in his bag though . . . Once I thought it was a
kid-blasting gun, but Joe isn't like that. He even saved me when Matt couldn't.
Joe also trie to stop Matt and Tai from fighting. Once, he even got involved,
and decided to climb a mountain. People say that he is a coward, but he really is
brave. Most times, anyway.
And there was Tai,
sometimes my brother Matt's enemy, but not really. But I really, really hate it
when they fight. They yell so loud. He's nice too, and kind of like a
replacement for when Matt is gone. But no one can replace Matt as my brother.
Tai is dependable, and he saved me from Demidevimon, that bowling ball with
wings who worked for Myotismon.
I saw Mimi,
too. She's really sweet. But she was a
little greedy when we first got here about the food, but I realize now that she
was just hungry, like the rest of us. She's really sincere. I knew she wouldn't
throw Tai and Joe in jail with those Gekomon and Otamamon. They told me about
it. Mimi also kind of reminds me of mom. I like her singing, but not the
singing that she sang in the sewers.
A little ways off,
was Izzy. Izzy is a hard worker. He's short, like me, so when we walk a lot or
something and I see him panting or something, I know how he feels. And when he
sees me tired or something like that, he knows how I feel. Izzy is super-smart.
Maybe he can be a super-hero or something like that and shoot out knowledge at
enemy digimon? That would be so cool!
I can't find
myself. I've lost myself. I lose a lot of things because I'm small. It's a lot
of work being a Digidestined and saving the world and all that, but surely they
don't think I can do anything? But I think I know. I know who I'm not, but . .
. Yes! I've figured out! I am a Digidestined. I am who I am, and I am TK
