Summary: The ending scene in Season five's episode 'Lost and Found', with a distinctly Jibbs end. Jenny is not ill in this story.
Rating: T
Disclaimer: I don't own anything.
Leroy Jethro Gibbs watched as Carson ran to his father and his step mother, embracing them in joy the moment they turned to look in his direction as they exited the elevator, the short separation having brought no end of fear and sadness to the three family members, especially the father, who had been in danger of being sent to prison for a crime he hadn't committed. The case had been solved, with Carson's theft of Jenny's phone surprisingly being what led them to getting the cooperation from his father to help close the case. Now the boy's father was free to come back to civilisation and pick him up from NCIS, take him and his wife home and live without the fear his family will be taken away from him.
It had been a relatively short case, but Carson's childish manner and innocence had made them all feel connected with him in a way, and the team had noticed a strange similarity between the boy and their very own Special Agent Tony DiNozzo, as the both of them were constantly quoting films and generally behaving in a juvenile manner. In fact no, Carson had at times seemed more mature than DiNozzo, who despite his physical age, still retained the mind of a teenager. Ironically it was DiNozzo who was the only one who couldn't, or wouldn't, see the similarities between himself and the ten year old Carson. They were all sad to see him go, and they knew better than to tell the child they would see him again, but the parting was still sad.
Jethro looked away from the tearful reunion, glancing up to the balcony overlooking the bullpen, knowing that Jenny would be there to see off her temporary young house guest, even if she only did so from afar, and he was right. She was leaning on the railing, smiling as she watched Carson being enveloped in a group hug from both of his parents, the jovial voices carrying up to her on the floor above, but the smile was a bittersweet one which didn't reach her eyes. She saw him looking and turned her gaze to him, her smile widening for a moment, showing him her real contentment at seeing the happy family until she looked away, back at Carson. The sadness crept back into her expression then, her smile becoming less sincere and more of a shield from the truth that she was visibly just now admitting to herself.
If she was ever going to have a child, it would have to be now, or never. Perhaps she had come to that conclusion last night, perhaps that was why she had invited him to stay with her, or maybe it was just the fact he had not come to her home in anger, as was the case more and more these days. She had probably relaxed into the easy camaraderie that had settled between them just like he had, and he'd enjoyed it, the reminder that underneath the Director, Jenny was still a woman and she was still his friend.
He looked away from her and back at Carson, a wide smile breaking out on his own face as the young boy waved at him, saying goodbye with a huge cheeky grin plastered on his face. Gibbs nodded to the boy's father and then watched the family walk away, back into the elevator. Another case closed with a positive outcome for all involved, except the murderer of course. He glanced back up at Jenny, only to see her retreating form walking away from where she had been leaning, and disappearing back into her office.
Gibbs sighed and walked to his desk, sitting behind it and looking at his computer, ready now to finish writing up his report on the case, his team already with their heads glued to their screens and fingers flying over their keyboards as they anticipated his order to do the same. He began writing, but found his attention wandering to the night before, when he had put the final nail in the coffin, so to speak.
Carson had stolen Jenny's phone, called him, and asked him to go over to her house, which had surprised him at first. He hadn't thought that Carson would come to him to talk since they had had so little contact, but then he was the team leader, so he probably should have expected him to. He hadn't gone over right away though, not wanting Carson to think he was at his beck and call, and unsure as to what his reception from Jenny would be.
As it had turned out, she had smiled as she opened her front door and invited him in, even though he had arrived unannounced, which she had been grumpy about in the past. Her tone had been light and teasing and a mischievous glint had been present in her eyes as she had spoken with him, but her comment about him being good with children was probably the last playful thing she would say to him now.
"Goodnight boss." McGee said dropping a file on top of his desk as he passed it, and abruptly pulling Gibbs from his thoughts. Jethro realised with a start that he had been staring at his computer, doing nothing, while his team had all finished their paperwork and left.
He sighed and stretched, rubbing his hands over his face tiredly and casting his gaze up at the door leading to Jenny's office. He hadn't noticed her leave yet, but then he hadn't exactly been paying attention to anything but his thoughts for the last hour. She would avoid him anyway; she had taken a big risk by asking him in a roundabout way to stay the night, and he had shot her down with a smirk on his face. He cringed internally at how cruel and abrupt he had been, and what made him feel worse was that she had just accepted it with a resigned smile.
He looked up at her office again worriedly; maybe he shouldn't have been so final in his choice of words, maybe he really had destroyed the last shred of hope, the final chance that they'd had of being together again. Was it too late to mend that bridge? Or would she just pretend it had never happened? Although he was reluctant to trust her with his heart again, he didn't want to lose her friendship as he had with every other woman he had dated or married.
She was the only one who he could honestly say had been in a relationship with him, and could still tease, talk to and joke with him after it ended without being superficial. A woman like Jenny was hard to find, and the fact was it had been very difficult to turn her down, but he had done it for her. She probably didn't see it that way, she just saw the rejection, but he had been looking out for her.
He was a hot blooded male who was not usually stupid enough to pass up a sure thing, but if he had stayed, and he would have if Carson hadn't been there, she would have resented him for taking advantage of her while she was in a broody mood. The morning light would have brought all of the reasons she had run away from him before, nine years ago, crashing back and they would have been left with an awkward mess.
It had been both lucky and unfortunate that Carson was there, and he was both relieved and annoyed at the fact he had narrowly avoided sleeping with her just because of the effect that Carson's presence in her house had had on her. She had been unconsciously nesting; the presence of the child bringing to life the longing for her own, and then he had stopped by. He wasn't being egotistical, but the fact that she had been with him before made him the ideal candidate to father her child.
Gibbs leaned back in his chair and scrubbed his hands over his face again, knowing he wasn't going to get his report finished if he couldn't keep his mind off of her. He loved her though, and he did want to be with her, but he wanted any decisions about relationships and children to be made in the light of day, away from outside influences and with genuine feelings, not because he was the only man around that was interested. He rolled his eyes at himself and amended that thought, a lot of men were interested, but apparently she couldn't trust them, or just didn't want to have a child with any of them.
He jerked forward out of his reclining position, his last thought making a cold feeling of dread settle in his stomach. He recalled the miserable look on her face as she had watched Carson hug his parents, and the false smile she had given him when she had caught him watching her, and his gut rolled in unease. She hadn't trusted any other man but him, and he had refused her, he had rejected her out of hand without even a great deal of consideration. He had sullied her trust in a vicious manner without regard for what his words would do to her and now she was resigning herself to accepting she would never be a mother.
He was standing and rounding his desk before he registered the movement, his legs carrying him up the stairs and into Cynthia's office as if they had minds of their own. He noticed that Cynthia was not in, she must have gone home already and the urgency to see Jenny almost left him, but she had stayed behind many times before. He reached for Jenny's office door and turned the handle but found that the door was locked. She had sneaked past him and left after all, at what time he had no idea. He grunted in annoyance and prepared to go to get his things and drive to her house when his mind finally caught up with him and he froze where he was.
What was he doing? Was he rushing off to see Jenny so he could ask if he could sleep with her now her house was empty? Was he really going to offer to have a child with her? He needed to go home and think through what exactly he was wanting from her very carefully, or he would just make things worse. Maybe in the morning he wouldn't feel so guilty about what he had said to her, perhaps he would wake up and wonder what the hell he had been thinking.
One thing was for sure though, it was a very lucky thing that Jenny was not here, or he would have made some kind of offer that he wasn't entirely sure he could carry through on, and if any of what he hoped for had even a possibility of happening, it was dependent upon whether Jenny even wanted to speak to him outside of the office anymore. Jenny didn't forgive easily, everyone knew that after the last year of her obsession with La Grenouille, but she had always forgiven him for the things he did or said. Would his luck hold out?
A.N.: This is not going to be updated quite as often as my other stories as I am stretching my available writing time as it is. It won't be that long between updates, it just won't be every week so it won't be on my profile update schedule. Thanks for reading!