A Brain Explosion for Those of You Who ALSO Cannot Wait for the Anticipated Continuation of iOMG
(Also known as ABETYWACWAC, you know, for convenience)
(Spencer's voice coupled with a cool transitiony thing): Prev-olosity on iCarlaaaay!
(Scenes from iOMG for the people who SERIOUSLY forgot that episode… weirdos…)
*Freddie showing Carly the laptop*
Carly: Sam's in love?
*Freddie nods in the "well I guess so" way he did*
(flash to Carly and Sam's little argument)
Carly: Don't you want a nice boyfriend?
(sort of a cut as it shows Sam's thoughtful face then back to Carly)
Carly: I just want you to be happy.
(now to the famous scene which we've all re-watched a bazillion times… or some of us I guess, didn't mean to segregate those who didn't)
Freddie: I know (blah blah blah) but you never know what might happen if you don't-
*INTERUPTED AWESOMELY*
(Pans over to Carly's be-shocked face as we have already seen)
(NOW FOR MY MUSINGS! Hope it keeps your brains a-buzzin'!)
(Inside the school, Carly is backing away from the window slowly and shakily. Spencer comes angry-marching up wild-eyed)
Spencer: CARLY MARGRET SHAY!
*Carly jumps and screams with fright, then snaps into action. She uses both hands to push the protesting Spencer out of the room*
Carly (shouting in a way that isn't too loud but doubly intense): Not here! They're having a moment or something!
Spencer (pointing back at Carly accusingly as he is being ushered out): There are some things we must discus. You- hey- YOU LISTEN TO ME LITTLE MISSY!
Carly: Cork-it! And my middle name isn't Margret!
Spencer: Of course! I knew that… Simone…?"
*They exit*
*Sam comes through the door rather quickly, stops, swivels for a moment to make sure Freddie isn't following her, then inhales-exhales deeply*
Sam (muttering under her breath and shaking her head): Holy chiz.
*Hearing movement, Sam darts out the door. Freddie now enters the room. He has his hand in his hair and a wild expression similar to the one recently-electrocuted-Spencer had*
Freddie: Holy chiz.
(CHANGE OF SCENE!)
(In area where Freddie/Brad/Sam had their experiment. Gibby has somehow migrated over here and is talking with Brad who is a little uncomfortable.)
Brad: I hear you, I hear you… I guess I just never considered using fudge for that.
*Brad grimaces slightly*
Gibby (leaning forward): Give it to me straight, you in or out?
Brad: I'm just a little iffy on this… it doesn't sound very… healthy.
Gibby: But I'm not going to eat it!
Brad: I meant mentally unhealthy.
(They are interrupted as Freddie comes over. Brad jumps at the chance for a change in topic.)
Brad: Oh, hey Freddie! Did you ever find Sam?
(Freddie's eyes flash widely at Brad and Freddie shrivels a little)
Freddie (high pitched): no no- (clears throat)- No. I- I didn't.
Brad (giving Gibby a quick uneasy glance as the boy creeps closer to him): Okay, well I'll let you know if I see her.
Freddie (slightly high-pitched again, not really looking at Brad anymore): Yeah, nothing's changed!
*Brad is leaning away from Gibby as he reaches towards him, placing a piece of paper in Brad's front pocket*
Gibby: I'll just leave you my card. Call when you're ready to make history.
*Gibby exits*
*Brad cracks a relieved smile and moves over to Freddie who is sitting on a table*
Brad: Speaking of Sam-
Freddie: Who's thinking of Sam? I'm not thinking of Sam!
Brad (politely and obliviously): I said speaking.
Freddie: oh.
Brad: Anyway, speaking of Sam, I thought I should clue you in on what happened.
Freddie: Happened? I already told you nothing's happened! God!
Brad (misunderstanding): Yeah, I know… please don't be upset. I love being on iCarly, and I appreciate all you guys have done for me, but… I'm sorry. I just don't like Sam that way. And she doesn't feel that way about me either.
Freddie: What?
Brad: The whole "setup" you and Carly arranged, well, it actually made things a little uncomfortable.
Freddie (familiar with the word, dwells on the meaning): Uncomfortable…
Brad: Not that she isn't a great girl!
*Freddie just stares at Brad*
Brad: She's really cool.
Freddie (echoes): Cool.
Brad: And fun.
Freddie (shrugging): Fun.
Brad: And she is definitely attractive, but-
Freddie (happy the conversation is taking a turn): But?
Brad: But it just isn't right. I'm sorry man.
*Brad puts a hand on distraught-Freddie's shoulder for a second and walks out*
(CHANGE OF SCENE!)
(In classroom with stimulus chamber, Spencer is not inside but instead finishing up a long speech none-of-which Carly has listened to. She is staring at Sam stubbornly. Sam is eating the snacks she liberated from the food-cart like there's no tomorrow.)
Spencer: Then you must agree, it is a gross over-sight of my personal rights as a human-Spencer…
*Carly leans her head forward a little to try and get a better view of Sam's face*
Spencer: -Which is why I'm suing you.
*Carly hears this and turns to him*
Carly: You're suing?
Spencer: Yeah, that's a word! And it isn't a pig-call, no, it's legit legal jargon.
Carly (seeing the ridiculousness): Okay, sure, right. And how are you going to go about suing us?
Spencer (chuckling): Oh, child… (stops chuckling) I'm just suing you.
*Carly raises an impatient eyebrow*
Spencer: I've already spoken to Gibby and I believe he has something to tell you!
*Gibby enters boldly and plants himself in front of Carly*
Gibby: I'm wooing you.
*Spencer quickly whispers in his ear*
Gibby (flustered): Suing! I'm suing you.
*Spencer nods approvingly*
Carly (astonished): For what?
Gibby: Awh-umm- Spence?
*Gibby turns to Spencer. Spencer steps up*
Spencer: For emotional manipulation leading to the committing of acts otherwise absurd to the subject. Gibby is suffering from extreme guilt and it's all YOUR fault!
Carly (rolling her eyes, no longer playing along): Alright-
*Carly gets up and grabs both of them by an ear*
Carly: -let's go!
*They exit, Sam swallows and stands up, also heading for the door, when Freddie walks in and almost runs into her. Both back away a few feet.*
Freddie (startled): Oh. I- um
Sam (said while passing behind him, not making eye-contact): Sorry.
Freddie: It's cool.
*Sam walks out and Freddie staggers over to a wall and intentionally hits his head on it twice. He then twists around and looks up at the ceiling in troubled thought.*
*Carly comes back in, yelling behind her*
Carly: And you two are not coming out until you learn not to sue friends!
Freddie (confused): Where did you put them?
Carly (noticing his presence): Oh just in the- wait. Not important!
Freddie: Huh?
Carly (stepping closer to nudge him suggestively): Not important compared…
*Freddie continues to watch her baffled-like*
Carly (leaning forward, trying to coax something out of him): …to…
Freddie: To what? What's going on?
Carly (giving up with a huff and putting her hands on her hips): Is there anything you would like to tell me?
Freddie (smirking slightly): Spencer approached me about suing you, but I said no.
Carly: Anything else?
*There is a lingering pause*
Freddie (now wary, speaking in hushed-tones): …what do you know?
Carly (answering seriously): Only what I saw.
Freddie (testing): …what happened?
Carly (now a smidge uncomfortable): You… and Sam, engaging in… lip-ular activity.
Freddie (straightens out, moving away from her slightly): Okay… (turning his head to the side and closer to her once more) And… and it did happen, right?
Carly (now her turn to lean away): What do you mean?
Freddie (scratching his head): I'm just having trouble grasping the concept.
Carly (grimacing): Well I can't help you grasp anything, but… yeah it happened. I have the heart-attack to prove it.
*Freddie examines Carly's reaction*
Carly: I mean, at first I was like "Whah-dwhaa?" but them I was like "ooh-mmm" but THEN I was like "HUH-BWAH?" but then, I guess, I kind of accepted it.
Freddie: I… don't know what you just said.
Carly (rolling her eyes and smiling): You have my approval Freddie! (taking him by the shoulders) You may date my best friend!
*Freddie moves out of Carly's grip*
Freddie: I don't think anyone is going to be dating anyone else.
Carly (with a confused and withering smile): Why not?
Freddie: She told me to pretend it never happened.
*Carly wide-eyed*
(CHANGE OF SCENE!)
(In hallway, Gibby and Spencer are sandwiched in between a farming presentation and a galaxy study project that have been pushed together. They are tied up with rope from the farm-one and have tin-foil from the space-one covering their mouths. They are unnoticed by Sam who is getting a drink from the fountain.)
(Sam finishes her drink. Brad enters.)
Brad: Hey, Sam!
Sam (not in the mood to exchange peasantries): Oh, hey-there… Brad.
Brad: Um, I was wondering, and I figured you be the one to know- when are they opening the new taco joint down town?
Sam: Monday. But the back door lock isn't secure and the freezer is already stocked. I recommend the chili-enchiladas.
Brad (nodding): Thanks.
Sam: No prob.
Brad (with a thought delightful to him): I'm glad we can be just friends like this.
Sam (turning to him, an edge in the way she speaks to him): What do you mean?
Brad (unnoticing): Just how we can forget the whole incident and go back to normal.
*Sam is suddenly rage-ful. She turns on him, balling his shirt up in both of her fists and pushing him against the lockers. Brad is paralyzed with fright.*
Sam: You take that back!
*Carly enters at a jog, having heard the commotion. Freddie is coming up behind her.*
Carly: Sam! Put the boy down!
Freddie (helping): The fudge! Remember the fudge!
Sam (gripping tighter as Brad whimpers, closing his eyes): He was egging me on!
Carly: No Sam, bad!
*Sam growls*
Carly: Lower him.
*Sam begins to let go of Brad. He relaxes his shoulders*
Carly: Just a little more...
*Brad is released, he runs away with long quick strides*
Gibby (spitting out the tin-foil from his mouth): Been there my friend!
Spencer (doing the same): Welcome to iCarly!
*Carly marches up to Sam*
Carly (scolding, pointing in Brad's direction of flee): Sam! How are we supposed to find another intern as good as him?
Sam (looking down): Maybe he won't quit…
Carly: You just caused him serious emotional damage!
Spencer: You could sue!
Carly (pointing at him): Zip your lid.
*Carly looks back at Sam*
Carly (now considerate): Why did you do that?
*Sam instinctively and unthinkingly glances over at Freddie, who is still standing behind Carly. Carly follows her line of vision and understands.*
Carly (crosses her arms, contemplating putting them in the stimulus chamber together but decides to go another route): The lock-in isn't supposed to end for another hour and a half, but Sam could pick the lock… (she looks at both her friends, putting an arm around each of their shoulders and pulling them towards her) Let's go to the Groovy Smoothie.
Sam (with happiness): They have new breakfast smoothies.
Freddie: That sounds disgusting.
Sam: You sound disgusting.
Carly (smiling): Okay, you two! (in funny gravely-andventurer-voice) We go!
Freddie (copying voice): We go!
Sam (also playing along): We go!
*They exit*
*Spencer and Gibby eye each other worriedly, still stuck in the ropes*
Gibby: These knots are insane.
Spencer: Carly used to be a girl scout.
*pause, Gibby sighs*
Gibby (in voice they used): We no-go?
Spencer (looks at him studying-ly): Has anyone ever told you that you look like a potato?
(END OF FAKE EPISODE!)
Wha-da-ya think? I know there is no chance for basically any of that to happen, but it was good for me to get it out of my system and jam it down yours!
Hoping I didn't completely waste your time,
Mixwe