Dean was feeling so lonely.
It was Christmas Eve and he was all alone. Well, technically Sam was here, but his brother had gone to bed hours ago. They had rented an efficiency unit, a small splurge for the holidays. Sam had taken the one bedroom when Dean insisted. He would sleep on the pull-out sofa bed.
Dean had his bottle of jack for company, and sat in front of the TV while "It's a Wonderful Life" played with the sound off. Clarence the guardian angel was taking George around town, showing him how life would be if he had never existed. Dean smirked, remembering that Meg had given Castiel that nickname. He took another slug from his bottle. The warmth of the liquor spread from his chest out to his limbs. He splayed on the couch in his boxers and t-shirt, glad for the privacy the efficiency provided. Not that it was anything that Sam hadn't seen before, but Dean didn't want to worry about his balls peeking out in front of his brother.
Dean glanced over at the Christmas tree in the corner that Sam had been adamant about getting. They had picked it up at the tree lot across the street. It was a sad looking remnant, more Charlie Brown tree than not, but Dean found himself enjoying it when they decorated the tree with the cheap ornaments Sam had picked up from the drugstore next door. Sam was such an overgrown kid, and Dean couldn't help but smile at his enthusiasm. Certainly they hadn't had many happy Christmases growing up, and the presents were always small. This year, Dean had gotten Sam a leather bound edition of "The Lord of the Rings" that included illustrations by Alan Lee. Sam had given his brother a new knife, with Dean's initials inscribed in gold letters on the hilt. They had even drank eggnog after they finished the tree, with Dean spiking his liberally with the jack.
At this point, Dean was halfway done with bottle and feeling groggy. He stared at the screen, watching the movie and feeling lonelier than ever. He thought about Castiel, who was his guardian angel in a way. He wondered if angels even celebrated Christmas. Dean zoned out watching the movie; he fell asleep for a bit, waking up with a start and wiping the drool from the corner of his mouth. He woke up in time for the ending.
"Every time a bell rings, an angel gets its wings." Dean said out loud, providing the words for silent Zuzu Bailey on the screen.
"Actually, that's incorrect. Angels have wings from the moment of their creation." A gravelly voice intoned.
Dean started and turned around. Castiel stood behind the couch, dressed in his trench coat, blue tie backwards and top shirt button undone.
"Jesus, Cas! You scared me!" Dean exclaimed. Dean grabbed the blanket and pulled it over himself. "What are you doing here? And what did I say about popping in unannounced?"
"Sorry, Dean." Castiel held out his hands in supplication. "I lost my cell phone."
Dean sighed with exasperation. "Seriously? Again?"
Castiel nodded, looking so contrite that Dean felt sorry for him.
"It's ok, Cas. I'll give you one of my extra ones." Dean sighed. "Why are you here anyways?"
"I sensed you...thinking of me." Castiel explained. Dean reddened.
"Uh..really? Uh, there was a movie on, and one of the characters reminded me of you. That's all." Dean was flustered. Castiel just regarded him with a head tilt and his usual serious and almost mournful expression.
"That's right. You don't understand that reference." Dean muttered. "There's an angel, and he helps this guy realize that he's important." He found he didn't want to mention that Meg had nicknamed him after that angel. He felt an unexpected twinge of jealousy remembering the time Castiel had kissed the demon.
"Like me with you?" Castiel asked, his eyes wide and innocent.
"Sure, kinda. Yeah. You did save me." Dean shrugged.
Castiel nodded. He continued standing behind the couch and looking at Dean. Dean took a swig from his bottle.
"Come here and sit down. You're creeping me out standing there and watching me." Dean said with exasperation. He scrubbed his face, his stubble scraping his palm. He was sure he looked a mess after falling asleep on the couch. Castiel walked over to the couch and Dean pulled his legs in so there was space. Castiel sat down, still wearing his coat.
One of those ridiculous Yule log things came on the TV and they both started at the image of the flickering fireplace for a moment.
"I don't understand the purpose of this program." Castiel said.
"I don't know either, Cas. If you don't have a fireplace anyhow, why would you want to stare at one on TV?" Dean replied. He took another swallow from the bottle.
"You are imbibing a lot of alcohol." Castiel observed.
"Leave me alone, Cas. It's Christmas. I'm feeling sad. This dulls the pain."
Dean said defensively. He set the bottle back on the floor and turned away.
"I sensed you were sad...that's why I came." Castiel said simply. The words tugged at Dean's heart; it had been so long since anyone had wanted to take care of him. He was always taking care of everyone else.
"Thank you, Cas." Dean said softly, looking at Castiel. "Really. It means a lot to me."
"You're welcome, Dean." Castiel replied, giving a smile.
Dean wished Castiel would relax. He looked so stiff sitting on the edge of the sofa, still wearing his coat. Dean shifted so he was closer to Castiel. They both stared at the fireplace on TV again. Dean turned to look at Castiel, and Castiel turned at the same time. Their eyes caught. Dean couldn't look away. Castiel's gaze was always so intense.
"Cas.." Dean murmured. "Merry Christmas."
"I don't celebrate-" Castiel began, and Dean leaned forward and cut him off with a kiss. Castiel made a surprised noise under Dean's lips. Dean broke the kiss.
"Sorry, Cas." Dean blushed. "I must be drunker than I thought…"
"It's ok, Dean. I- I didn't mind." Castiel said, still looking at Dean. He reached over and put a hand behind Dean's head, and pulled him in for another kiss. Dean melted; he hadn't been touched this way in so long. He sighed against Castiel's lips. Castiel pulled away, and stared at Dean again, his blue eyes dark. Dean wanted him to keep kissing him.
"Don't stop, Cas." Dean said huskily. He leaned in and grabbed Castiel's tie, forcing the angel forward. Dean kissed him again, harder and more insistent this time. Castiel pressed back, and then opened his mouth. Dean pushed his tongue in, tasting Castiel. Castiel groaned, and Dean felt his cock twitch at the sound. He broke the kiss, and started tugging at Castiel's coat. Castiel looked irresistible; his mouth red and moistened from Dean's kisses, his hair disheveled, and his eyes wide with desire.
"You kissed me like the pizza man kissed the babysitter." Castiel remarked.
"Mmmhmm." Dean agreed, shoving the sleeves of the coat off of Castiel's arms. "A little help, Cas?" Dean asked. Castiel stood and removed his coat the rest of the way. Dean stood too and started loosening Castiel's tie.
"But the babysitter was female. How-" Castiel said seriously.
"Shhh." Dean shushed Castiel, pulling the tie off the angel. He started working at Castiel's shirt buttons. Castiel just stood and watched as Dean removed his clothes. Dean got Castiel down to his undershirt and briefs. He stepped back and admired the angel's physique, which was always hidden under so many layers, Dean forgot it was there.
"Dean," Castiel said, his eyes flicking downward. Dean glanced down and saw that his hard cock was poking out through the opening in his boxers.
"Oh.." Dean grinned. "Yeah, it's happy to see you." Castiel looked confused. Dean stepped back towards Castiel and wrapped his arms around the angel, and covered Castiel's mouth with his own. Castiel made the sweetest sounds as Dean kissed him. Dean grabbed Castiel's hand and put it on his cock, pressing himself against the angel's palm.
"Oh." Castiel gasped against Dean's lips, taking the hint and grasping Dean's length in his hand. Dean moaned at the touch. He couldn't remember the last time someone else had touched his cock. Dean reached between them and eased his fingers under the waistband of Castiel's briefs. Castiel was semi-hard and Dean enclosed the angel's cock in his hand easily. Castiel whimpered as Dean started stroking and flicking the head of his cock with his thumb.
"Mmm. You feel so good, Cas." Dean whispered hotly into Castiel's ear. He bent his head and sucked hard on Castiel's neck. Castiel smelled so good. Like soap and musk and something that Dean couldn't define. It must be an angel thing. Castiel moaned as Dean continued to work him, and Dean rutted against Castiel's hand, which had stilled once Dean had started touching him. Dean pushed Castiel's hand away and then knelt in front of him. He tugged Castiel's briefs down to his feet, and Castiel stepped out of them obligingly. Dean groaned at the sight of Castiel's rigid cock, admiring the thick vein that ran along the shaft, and the head glistening with precum. He grabbed Castiel's hips and pulled Castiel toward himself. Dean swallowed Castiel's cock whole, and Castiel made an anguished sound. Dean pulled off.
"Shhh, not too loud, angel. Sammy's asleep in the other room." Dean chided. Castiel nodded, biting his lip. Dean slid his mouth over Castiel's shaft again, and this time Castiel threaded his hands in Dean's hair, gritting his teeth to stifle his loud moan. Dean swirled his tongue around Castiel's cock, along the shaft and pressing the tip of his tongue into the slit. Castiel started increasing in volume again, his gasps and whimpers filling the room. Dean slid his mouth off of Castiel again.
"I told you to keep it down." Dean admonished. "Naughty angel." Castiel bit his lip again and looking at Dean with desperation. Dean slid Castiel's cock between his lips again, and started bobbing up and down. Castiel grunted, letting loud sighs and gasps slip out, but keeping quiet otherwise. He tugged hard at Dean's hair, making Dean moan around his cock. Castiel started thrusting, hitting the back of Dean's throat. Dean gagged slightly, not expecting the sudden push deeper into his mouth. Castiel whimpered again.
"Oh..oh..Dean…" Castiel tried to speak softly, but his volume kept jumping up as Dean continued to suck him. "Dean…"
Dean could feel that Castiel was getting close, his movements more sloppy and urgent. Dean's jaw was aching but he kept going, determined to make Castiel come hard into his mouth.
"Dean!" Castiel yelped loudly. Dean looked up through his lashes at Castiel, and noted that Castiel's lip was curled and his breaths were coming more rapidly. He wanted to watch his angel blow his load, and kept his eyes on Castiel's face as he continued to move his mouth relentlessly.
Castiel let out a loud moan and then started bucking against Dean's face, swearing in Enochian. As his cum spurted down Dean's throat, his eyes glowed electric blue with grace for a moment. Dean thought he had never seen anything more beautiful and blasphemous than an angel orgasming. Castiel closed his eyes as he slow his movements, his breaths slowing and his hands relaxing on Dean's head. Dean swallowed every drop of cum; it tasted salty, but it also had an almost spicy flavor too- perhaps it was angelic? He released Castiel, who was spent and limp. Dean looked up at Castiel.
"How was it?" He smirked, licking his lips. Castiel scrubbed his face and sat back heavily on the couch.
"I don't even know how to describe it..I saw the babysitter doing this to the pizza man but, i had no idea…" Castiel panted, his eyes wild. "It was immensely..pleasurable. I understand why humans are always fornicating now…"
"Hah." Dean huffed a laugh. "We're lucky that Sam is a deep sleeper. And I'm not done with you yet, Cas."
Castiel's eyes widened. Dean smothered another laugh. He quickly stripped off his boxers and shirt, and then removed Castiel's undershirt. Dean moved so he knelt between Castiel's legs where the angel sat on the couch. He ran his hands along Castiel's thighs gently. Castiel watched while slumped back on the couch pillows. Dean pushed Castiel's legs apart and then hooked one of Castiel's leg on each shoulder. Dean sucked on his fingers and then probed lightly around Castiel's hole. Dean gently pushed one finger against the opening, and when Castiel didn't protest, he pushed in deeper. Castiel sucked in a breath. Dean moved it in and out slowly, and then added another finger after a few minutes. Castiel whimpered, looking down at Dean with wild eyes. Dean smiled, continuing to thrust his fingers in and out, increasing the pace and scissoring his fingers to spread Castiel wide.
"I think you're ready enough, Cas." Dean groaned, his cock even harder after playing with Castiel's hole.
"Yes, Dean. I want…I want you." Castiel whined. Dean got up carefully with Castiel's legs still hooked on his shoulders, and pressed Castiel further into the couch. He eased his knees onto the couch on either side of Castiel's hips. He grasped his cock and slicked it with saliva.
"Are you sure, Cas?" Dean asked breathlessly, knowing he would stop if Castiel said so, but also knowing it would be one of the hardest things he would ever have to do if Castiel refused him.
"Yes, Dean." Castiel answered, and then Dean was positioning himself and pressing his cock into Castiel gently. Castiel moaned, pressing his legs down on Dean to urge him in more. Dean took his time, not wanting to hurt Castiel. Finally, Dean was fully seated, and he closed his eyes and gritted his teeth, feeling like he was already ready to blow his load. He opened his eyes and stared into Castiel's blue ones. They were full of lust and trust, and what Dean thought might be love. Dean leaned down to kiss Castiel tenderly. Then he sat back up and started moving in and out of Castiel, making both of them gasp at the sensation.
"Fuck, you are so tight, Cas." Dean moaned, increasing his pace. Castiel whimpered in response, pressing his hips up against Dean. "Damn, I'm not going to last very long."
"Dean.." Castiel panted, his hands stroking Dean's sides. He grunted as Dean pumped hard and fast into him. Castiel found himself hardening again and he gasped in surprise when Dean angled his cock slightly and pressed hard against his walls.
"Mmm. I think I found your prostate." Dean smiled. "I'm gonna make you scream, angel." Castiel nodded and moaned. Dean kept pounding Castiel, but he knew he was going to break soon. "Are you almost there, baby? I want you to come with me. I wanna see your eyes light up…literally, while I shoot my load deep inside you."
"Yes..yes, Dean." Castiel managed. The trust in Castiel's eyes was almost painful for Dean to see. He felt like such a fuck-up. He had let Castiel down before, but yet Castiel still wanted him and believed in him. Dean shook off the thoughts, concentrating on the hot pressure of Castiel's walls.
"I'm going to come, Cas." Dean gritted. "You better hurry up…" Castiel nodded, and it was enough to send Dean over the edge.
"Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Oh fuck…" Dean yelled, forgetting about Sam sleeping in the other room. He slammed his hips against Castiel, spurting his load deep inside Castiel.
"Dean! Oh Dean! Dean!" Castiel shouted, his eyes flaring with pale blue light. Dean could feel Castiel's walls clenching around his cock while he finished emptying himself. Dean collapsed on top of Castiel, his cock still inside, and held him tightly.
"Cas…you were amazing…" Dean murmured, and he pressed kisses all over Castiel's face. Castiel blushed. He wiggled his legs, trying to free them from where they were pinned under Dean's weight.
"Oh sorry, Cas." Dean helped Castiel, move his legs out, and in the process his limp cock slipped out. They both gasped at the loss. Dean gently maneuvered Castiel so that they could both lie down on the couch. Dean wrapped his arms around Castiel pulling the angel's body flush against his own.
"Dean..I love you.." Castiel said, almost nonchalantly, as Dean held him close and nosed his hair. Dean coughed in surprise.
"Cas…" Dean was taken aback. "I…"
"It's ok, Dean." Castiel continued. "You don't have to say it back. I know you do."
"Oh.." Dean said, and then shrugged inwardly. "Sure. Uh, thanks."
The fireplace was still broadcasting on the TV, and Dean found himself drowsing as lay there with Castiel staring at the TV.
"Merry Christmas, Dean." Castiel murmured.
"Merry Christmas, Cas." Dean answered sleepily. He slipped into blissful sleep.
…
"Wake up, Dean! It's Christmas!" Sam said cheerfully. "And it's snowing!"
Dean woke up and found that he was clothed again and clean, with a blanket covering him. He yawned and stretched.
"Hey Sammy. Merry Christmas." Dean answered. Sam pounced on Dean, slamming a breath out of his brother when he landed. "Oof! Ouch, you big oaf!"
Sam laughed and got up. "Let's go outside, let's go outside!" He tugged at Dean's hand.
"Ok, ok, just let me go to the bathroom." Dean said placatingly. Sam's enthusiasm was contagious though, and Dean smiled. Sam went to the kitchen and sipped at a mug of coffee.
"Ok, there's coffee waiting for you here too. And donuts." Sam said. Dean rolled off the couch and went to the bathroom. He felt happy, but also sad that Castiel had left before he woke up. He supposed it would have been awkward if Sam had found Castiel here in the morning. He went to the bathroom and looked at himself in the mirror. His hair was spiking in all directions and his mouth was still a bit swollen from last night. Dean splashed water on his face, wincing at the frigid temperature. He took a long piss, still thinking about Castiel and what had happened last night. He washed his hands, and then looked back in the mirror. Castiel stared back from behind his reflection.
"Christ! You gotta stop doing that." Dean yelped. He turned to face Castiel. Castiel kissed him. Dean broke the kiss breathlessly. "You do know Sam is up, right?"
"He knows I'm here." Castiel replied. He kissed Dean again, pushing him against the edge of the sink. Dean was tempted to deepen the kiss, but he forced himself to push Castiel away.
"Not while Sammy's in the other room!" Dean protested.
"He was in the other room last night." Castiel stated.
"Yes, but he was asleep!" Dean moved past Castiel and pushed the door open. Castiel followed as Dean walked back in the kitchen and living area.
"Hey Cas." Sam smirked. "Hey Dean." He held a cup of coffee out to Dean, who grabbed it and glared at Sam. Dean could tell by the expression on Sam's face that his brother knew about him and Cas.
"Hi Sam." Castiel nodded.
"Hey, it's not my fault that angels kiss and tell." Sam grinned. He clapped Castiel on the shoulder. "So which one of you is the babysitter and which one is the pizza man?"
"What? You are so dead, Sammy." Dean sputtered, he lunged for Sam who danced away easily. Sam laughed and ran out the door. Dean and Castiel followed, and they tumbled into the snow. Dean tackled Sam, shoving snow down the back of his shirt, and then he tackled Castiel, kissing him roughly. Sam stood over them, smiling.
"I'm happy for you both." Sam said. He dropped an armful of snow on both of them. "Merry Christmas!"
Dean jumped off of Castiel and chased after Sam. Castiel stood and brushed the snow off his coat. He watched as the two brothers rolled in the snow, laughing. He walked over to where they lay on their backs, moving their arms and legs.
"We're making snow angels, Cas!" Dean laughed at the angel's look of confusion. He sat up and tugged at Castiel's hand, pulling him down. Sam took the opportunity to drop another load of snow on the two of them, and dashed away again. Dean swore, but he was still smiling. He stood up and pulled Castiel up. "Let's get him, Cas!"
As Dean and Cas ran after Sam, finally dousing him with handfuls of snow, Dean felt a burst of genuine happiness bubble up.
Dean was no longer feeling lonely.