Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.
Summary: Sakura was just minding her own business when guys randomly came up to her asking for her hand in marriage, wanting to be her boyfriend, and declaring their love for her. But which one will succeed in capturing her heart?
A/N: It's edited! So hopefully it'll be better! And I don't have the sequel anymore, I deleted it because it sucked. :) I'll rewrite later in the near future.
It's in no one's pov!
Konoha
8:00 A.M
Saturday
Sakura Haruno was on her day off. And she was in a very happy mood. 'Nothing can ruin my mood today!' She thought cheerily.
Sadly for her, the peace was disrupted by one certain knuckle-headed blonde ninja.
"SAKURA- CHAN!~" Naruto came in dramatically into her cozy little apartment through the window with a tumble and flourish. The broken glass from the window rained down on the carpet.
"NAARRRUUUUTOOOOO!" Sakura glared menacingly at said person. She was throughly pissed. Naruto later swore that he saw the flames of hell behind her. Geez, that woman has problems.
"What did I say about coming through the window?" Her Medusa hair disappeared as Sakura looked at Naruto calmly. 'Must be that time of the month.'
"No coming through the window without saying anything?"
"Precisely." With a content smile, Sakura spun on her heel to get the dusting pan and forced it into Naruto's hands. "Clean it." Without question he obliged. 'Scary.'
The self- proclaimed future hokage gave the pinkette a sad pout coupled with the infamous puppy eyes as he cleaned up the mess. Sakura wasn't fooled. She took his left ear and forced his head to face the carpet. "You're so mean... Sakura-chan." "Hmmph!"
This wasn't good. Naruto needed his teammate's help. "Please don't be mad! I need your help asking Hinata-chan out..." He had the puppy eyes turned on full max. Akamaru had nothing on Naruto.
Sakura's heart stopped. As a girl, she couldn't refuse anything so cute. 'His eyes are so blue, so big... Oh no! It's watering! Awwww~ KYA!' Sakura melted under Naruto's gaze. No female alive could resist him when he did that.
"So will you help me? Puh- leaseeee?" Naruto pleaded, stretching out the 'e'. His hands were clasped together. "Fine." With an inaudible sigh she continued, " Why don't we take a walk together and plan it out?"
"OKAY! THANK YOU! THANK YOU SAKURA- CHAN!"
"Put a sock in it, Naruto."
"Sakura-chan... You meanie."
"... Kiss her on the cheek. But do it fast. Neji's a stalker, he'll likely be following Hinata to make sure you aren't doing anything bad. So after you kiss her, caught her. Give her to Neji, and run."
Sakura paused and stopped walking to make sure Naruto got all of it down.
"This sounds complicated!" Sakura whacked him up on the head before continuing.
"It's all for Hinata, Naruto. Remember how she nearly killed herself trying to save you~" Naruto continued scribbling notes in a notebook.
"I think I got all of this now." Sakura snatched the notebook from Naruto and peered into its contents. "Why is there a picture of a crudely- drawn duck here?"
"Uhh..."
"Never mind." Sakura sighed as Naruto held his drawing up to the light, admiring it.
"SAKURA- SAN!~" Rock Lee came running up to them. Oh great, this was gonna be interesting.
"SAKURA-SAN! I have finally come to my senses. I realized that I love you oh-so-very-much! I would do anything for you! Your YOUTHfulness radiants like the sun on Kohona! It would please me more than anytime if you would accept a date from me!" He started flexing his muscles. Which were very large from working out constantly. Sakura's mouth went dry. "Oh Lee! Umm... I don't think I'm quite in the mood for a relationship yet..."
"What?" Naruto started snickering. "You just got REJECTED, Bushy Brows!" Naruto was enveloped in a fit of girly giggles.
"Shut up Naruto! Lee is a very nice person!" With a backhanded slap from Sakura, Naruto sobered up. "Ouch! Sakura-chan..."
"That is fine Sakura-san! I shall practice my youthful poem for you when you are ready to go out with me!" A blinding white smile later, Lee was gone.
"GAHH! MY EYES! THEY BUUURRN!" It was Sakura's turn to laugh.
The duo walked long enough to reach Team Seven's training grounds. It was puntured with many holes from Sakura's hits.
"Let's spar Sakura-chan!" Without much of a warning, Naruto was up high in the air with a clone as they began to create a rasengan. "RASE-"
"Excuse me to interupt, but may I speak to you Haruno?" "Sure thing Wedgie!" "Alone." "Sure thing Neji-san." Naruto was deflated like a dead balloon as he watched Neji lead Sakura away behind a tree. 'That's not gonna stop me! I'm gonna see what Wedgie wants from Sakura! Maybe I could take him out long enough to steal a REAL kiss from Hinata.' Naruto rubbed his hands together gleefully as he lept atop of the tree shading the two figures below.
"Look Haru-" "Please, call me Sakura. Haruno makes me feel weird." "Yes, Sakura. May I ask your hand in marriage?"
"Ew. No. You're weird. What kind of guy has longer and prettier hair than Ino-pig?"
Naruto couldn't take it. It was too much for the blonde prankster. "BWAH HA HA HAHA! YOU GOT REJECTED TOO, WEDGIE!" Naruto fell out of the branch clutching his stomach.
"It's not that funny, Naruto."
"Yes it is! He can't be real!"
"I do believe that I am quite real."
Naruto made a face.
"I will be leaving now Sakura. But although I am hurt by your comment, I still wish to court you. Think about my offer, Haruno."
And the prideful Hyuuga was gone in a puff of smoke. Naruto was still cracking up, pointing to the spot where Neji once was five seconds ago. "You're hopeless, Naruto."
Suddenly, Sasuke dropped out of a branch while Naruto was still laughing. "Sakura. I don't like you fraternizing with these idiots. You belong with me and me only."
The pink-haired girl narrowed her eyes evilly at the Uchiha.
"What do you want? Gonna knock me out on a bench again?" Sakura had never quite gotten over that. "Look Sakura. I know what I did was wrong. But if you could give me a chance. i could make your life much more pleasurable." He said seductively.
Sakura gave a big shudder, hanging out with Orchimaru for 2 and 1/2 could really mess up a person.
"Whoa, whoa, WHOA. Stop it, you CANNOT be doing this too." Naruto wagged at finger at Sasuke, as one would do to a bad puppy who ate all the cake.
Sasuke scowled at Naruto. "You can't tell me what to do, baka. Sakura, we can make many Uchiha babies and revive my clan. With your status as the Hokage's apprentice and mine as the Uchiha survivor, we were be the talk of the ninja world. As an addition, your talent at chakra control and medic skills would greatly benefit my clan."
If possibly, Sakura glared at Sasuke harder. "So you're just gonna use me as a baby- maker huh? No regard for my feelings? You're a horrible person Sasuke!" She huffed. "Let's leave the sexually- deprived, chicken headed emo homo alone, Naruto." Tugging at her friend's hand, she promised to treat him at Ichiraku's as they left the Uchiha in the dust.
"Gee, Sakura. You're so uptight. It's just Sasuke, we all knew how much of a dick he is."
"I know, but it just pisses me off that he can only see me that way." Sakura slammed her left fist into her right hand, "He should burn in he-"
"Naruto. Sakura *Yawn*" "Hey guys!" Shikamaru and Chouji had come over and took up seats next to Sakura and Naruto. "I've been starving for ramen all day! And Shikamaru needs to tell Sakura something." Chouji added mischeviously.
"Eh? What is it Shikamaru-kun?" Sakura and Shikamaru had become quite close since last year when they went on a B- ranked mission together to the Land of Rain.
"Sakura, I really lik- No, I l-love you. *Sigh* Confessing is such a drag." Shikamaru drooped his head as Naruto and Chouji gleefully slurped down ramen.
Sakura's emerald eyes widened to the size of dinner plates. "Whaaa?"
"*Yawn* It means that I love you, Sakura. I hope that someday in the near future, we will be married." Shikamaru stood up and dragged Choujo out of the ramen stand despite the big-boned boy's protests.
"DAMMIT SHIKAMARU I WASN'T DONE! I'LL ROLL YOU OVER IF YOU DON'TLET GO! RAMEN!"
Naruto and Sakura both looked at each other. "That was weird."
"I don't care. More ramen for me then!" Naruto said happily as he dug into Chouji's unfinished ramen.
"Eeww..."
Then Shino entered. He took the spot Shikamaru once sat in and turned to face Sakura.
"You shall be my bug bride." And walked away. An angry tic mark appeared on Sakura's forehead.
'WHAT. THE. HELL.'
It was about 3 in the afternoon right now. Sakura and Naruto were talking about sparring, jutsus, how to get Naruto on a date with Hinata, and eventually the topic led to guys pining after our favorite cherry blossom.
"What is the deal with everyone? I mean, I know you're hot, but why?" Naruto flapped his arms around wildly. Sakura just looked sorta uncomfortable with her borther- figure calling her hot.
"I don't know Naruto, I like it. Makes me feel wanted." She smiled. Then a big bounding ball of fur jumped up into her arms. "Oh!" It was Akamaru, licking her face delightfully.
"OI! Wait up Akamaru you stupid dog! Don't leave your daddy!" Kiba came up running to them. "Akamaru don't do that!" Kiba scolded. But Akamaru just barked at Kiba and snuggled deeper into Sakura's arms.
"How could you call him stupid?" Sakura started kicking Kiba while holding Akamaru. And Naruto did too. It looked fun.
"Owww..."
"I think we should stop."
"Why? It's kinda fun!"
"Naruto..."
"Oh fine."
Kiba suddenly stood up straight (they kicked him until he was on the ground, such bullies) and brushed off any dirt on his jacket.
"Ahem. Well I just wanted to say that, I'm a great guy. With the dogs and ladies. I think you should be my girlfriend. Its obviously that Akamaru likes you too... Even more than me." Kiba frowned at his dog then gave Sakura a smoldering smile.
"What do you say?"
"Well I'LL say that Sakura already has a bo-" Sakura cut off Naruto by slapping her hand over his mouth. Kiba looked confused. "What?"
Sakura gave a nervous titter to the dog- boy. "Nothing, nothing. He's just being a baka. Right Naruto-baka?"
"Mmmph..."
"Alright, Sakura- chan!" Naruto yelled as Kiba left to walk Akamaru. "There has been weird things that are trying to date you. First, there was Bushy Brows, Wedgie, Ass-gay, Pineapple- head, Buggie, and now Dog boy. Whose next? Fatty?"
"I'M NOT FAT DAMMIT! JUST PLEASANTLY PLUMP!"A distant yell screamed.
"Er... Plumpy."
Sakura shrugged. "I really don't know what's going on."
All of a sudden, Kakashi popped up. "Hello kids. Out on a date, I see?" Sakura glared before roundhouse kicking him to the ground. "We are not on a date! Thats disgusting!"
While Naruto protested, "I'm not that bad!" This was ignored. "Anyways, Tsunade wants you. I guess Naruto can tag along as well." Then with a faint 'pop' Kakashi was gone from the ground, probably to go read his dirty little books. "ROAD TRIP!" Naruto shouted, while doing a happy dance around Sakura.
An eerie shadow of three turned up behind them.
"Sakura Haruno. Be a puppet and we will live an eternity together." Sakura whipped her head around. "Sasori? I thought I killed you!" "Ah, but puppets live forever." He said with a flourish.
"LIAR! He got resurrected by leader, yeah!" A blond guy yelled. He looked like the male counterpart of Ino. Which Sakura found strange. "Forget Sasori, yeah! You belong with me! After we make love, I will blow us up. For art is in a fleeting moment, yeah!"
'What. The. Fuck? Do I even know him?'
"What? Make love? How dare you!" Itachi swooped down to Sakura. Naruto whispered loudly to Sakura, "What do they mean by make love?" This didn't go unnoticed by Itachi.
"Why don't we demonstrate it for the little one? I love you more than all of this idiots." Itachi pulled Sakura to him. "My foolish little brother and the others don't deserve you." Sakura flushed a deep shade of pink, against her will. "Gerrefme." She muttered against Itachi's body. "Listen to Sakura- chan!" Naruto yanked Sakura off Itachi. "We'll see you at Tsunade's then!" The clay artist waved at them before disappearing.
"What the hell was that about?" Sakura questioned. "I don't know. Why was Akatsuki there? All these creepos keep showing up. I'm just glad Orochimaru didn't appear." "Sssspeak for yoursssself..."
"EEEKKK!" Naruto let out a high- pitched squeal as he jumped into Sakura's arms. Thank the lord she was strong. "RUNNN!" And the two sprinted, (Technically, Sakura did. She was carrying Naruto.) away from the pedophile to Tsunade's office.
After dumping Naruto on the ground, Sakura fixed her apperance and checked the time. 4:00 p.m Time sure flies. And briskly knocked on the door. "Enter." And the two friends walked in together. A busty Tsunade sat at her desk looking slightly tipsy. "These guys want you to pick out a boyfriend from one of them. No idea why, but they all insisted on it. "
All lined up next to each other were all the guys that declared their love to Sakura that day. All in order in which they confessed. Sakura's eyes bugged out. Naruto had another laugh attack with tears streaming out of his eyes. Jiraya was also there. Muttering something about this being a genius plot to use in the next Icha Icha Series.
"Go on ahead and state why you would be good for Sakura." Tsunade waved them on. "This should be good." Laughed Naruto.
"Sakura- san. I love you very much, since I laid my eyes on you. My youth combined with your youth would be SUPER YOUTH! Gai sensei would be so proud if he saw me right now! Confessing to my love! The springtime of youth shines in you Sakura! MARRY ME! I LOVE YOU!" Sakura's eyebrow twitched from this loud statement. Annoying.
"As I said before, we would be a good couple being powerful ninja as the Hokage's apprentice and the Hyuga prodigy. It was fate who brought us together and it was fate that will make you mine forever." Neji said seriously. Naruto let out a few laughs before Neji glared. And I must say, that without any pupils it is rather scary. Neji is scary.
"How troublesome. I don't like competition. But, since I love Sakura, I'll win her heart. Sakura, we are both smart and know a thing or two about medical ingredients." Sakura smiled a bit at that. "And after I proposed to you, we'll get married and have two boys." Sakura stopped smiling. Is this really Shikamaru?
"I love you Sakura. And since we are both sexy people, everyone will be jealous of our relationship. I'm hot and you know it. I'm also an Uchiha. Uchihas always get what they want. You are more than just part of my plan to restore my clan, but a hot bride. And most importantly, you'll get rid of the fangirls." This guy is never going to become my boyfriend.
"You're mine. I'm the strong but silent type. I was one of the few to make past the first chunin exam. My bugs will be more than delighted to have you in the family. No one else should have you except me." "I don't belong to you!" "Yes you do." Shino's definitely out.
"Puppet, you shouldn't be subjected to this torture. Come with me and we'll make a getaway together and live forever as human puppets." Deidara wanted to interject, but Tsunade stopped him. "We can also make puppet babies, if you know what I mean." He gave Sakura a killer smirk. "Killing me makes you that much more attractive to you, my puppet." Sakura gaped openly. NO WAY IN HELL.
"Sakura, yeah! Forget Sasori! Chose me, yeah! Living in the moment is waaaay better than living forever, yeah. You and I both know that you love me more. I know you will also make the right choice, yeah." "Umm... But I-" "Shush. Words can't describe your feelings. I know... yeah." I was going to say that I didn't know him...
"TOBI IS A GOOD BOY! TOBI LOVES SEMPAI!" "WTH?" Who is he?
"And lastly-" "But not least." "Shut up. Here's Itachi." Tsunade pointed at the person. "Sakura, my little cherry blossom. My love for you is like a thousand fire jutsus." Naruto and Sakura sniggered at this, but Itachi ignored it. " You should choose me, the guy who risked everything for the sake of his village and little brother. Although he is foolish. We will have a happy life together as refuges." No thanks. I don't want to be on the run until I die!
"And that's it... Who will you choose as your boyfriend?" Tsunade looked uninterested as she filed her fingernails.
Sakura took in a deep breath and looked at all of them. "I'm sorry guys, but I already have a boyfriend. That's why I rejected all of your advances. Naruto and I were the only ones who knew that I had a boyfriend and who he is."
Naruto whispered to Sasuke, "That's why she doesn't want me to go through her window without saying anythign!" The stoic Uchiha rolled his eyes.
"Who is it Sakura-san?"
"Gaara." Sakura said in a small voice.
"THE KAZEKAGE?" Basically everyone in the room shouted, except the cool ones and Naruto. :)
Suddenly, in a whirlwind of sand, Gaara appeared. "Gar- Gar!" Sakura pounced on him as he pulled her into a heated make- out session. Before he did so, he muttered 'MINE' and death glared at all the guys in the room. Except Naruto and Jiraya.
"Ewwww... That's disgusting Gaara."
A stream of sand started slithering up into Naruto's jumpsuit. "EEK! I'M SORRY GAARA!" He cowered and the sand stopped moving.
"So that's Forehead's boyfriend? WOW." Ino and Hinata knocked down the door. "We heard about guys fighting over Forehead, so we came over to investigate!" Hinata nodded as if to confirm it.
Seeing Hinata, Naruto ran over to her and asked, "Will you go out on a date with me?" The girl Hyuuga promptly fainted on the spot.
Sakura broke away long enough from Gaara to hiss, "You were supposed to do that at the Hyuuga compound! And give her a rose!" She didn't see anything else as Gaara pulled her back into his embrace.
Neji started to emit a dangerous aura around him. "Get. The. Hell. Away. From. Hinata- Sama." He said through gritted teeth. "Oh shit. Imma go run now." "NAAAAAAAAARRRRRRUUTTOOOOOOO!"
"What a happy ending." Tsunade said to no one in particular. "You said it." Jiraya agreed.
"I'm going to murder him..." Came across all the guy's thoughts as they watched with envy at Gaara. The guys started putting their heads together to plot his 'accidental' death.
"SOMEONE! ANYONE! HELP! HINATA!" Hinata woke up just in time to hear her name being called by her beloved. "I-I'm c-co-m-ming N-Naruto- kun! NEJI! STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM MY BOYFRIEND YOU BASTARD!"
The End.
A/N: I could've done a lot better, but I tried. It was kinda rushed in some parts. :) Review Please!