Disclaimer: I don't own Batman or any of its characters.
Title: golden apple of eris's eye
Summary: Sequel to "my dear atlas has a heavy heart". The Joker always looked after Batwoman. She is, after all, his girl.
Rating: T
Warnings: Potentially disturbing imagery, violence
Author's Notes: Batman and the Joker's relationship is always something very complex and I thought I try to tackle a take on their relationship if we have a Batwoman instead. I had a little fun using what would have been sweet gestures from anyone else but because this was the Joker, it ended up twisted and creepy.
" Why did you do it?"
Commissioner Gordon's voice was low and commanding, even from behind the thick glass wall. The Joker twisted his head around. The angle to which he cocked his head to the side made the two cops behind Gordon shift uncomfortably. " Do what?" he lazily asked.
The light above made the dark circles under Gordon's eyes appear more shadowed. " Why did you order a hit on Harvey Dent using Victor Zsasz?"
That was why there was all that commotion near the elevators earlier. He had guessed Zsasz would make his move soon but not as quickly as that. Props to ol' Zsasz for pulling it off so well. And somehow involving a piece of paper, a paperclip and a hair brush. A nice joke if the Joker ever heard of one.
" Not like you to not talk," Gordon observed.
" I didn't tell Zsasz to kill Harvey boy," he giggled. Which was the truth. He never said the words "kill" or "to take care of" to Zsasz. He simply told the man that Dent had been responsible for "claiming" one of his kills and however Zsasz reacted after that was entirely up to him.
Gordon's incredulous expression revealed he did not believe the Joker.
It didn't matter to the Joker. All that mattered was that Dent received his message loud and clear. The Joker did not take it well when news came to his ears that a bullet had been put into Batwoman's head by Dent. The streets were quiet for a few nights with some believing that was the death of Batwoman.
But unfortunately for them, Batwoman returned no less than a week later and already single-handedly demolished Dent's gangs, looking no worse for wear. There were rumours rapidly spreading in the criminal underground that Batwoman had risen from the grave or that she was already an undead to begin with.
Dent had been a fool for thinking a bullet was enough to stop Batwoman. And he was even more of a fool for thinking he could escape back to Arkham without punishment.
The Joker had admired many things about Batwoman but none as much as Batwoman's brain. There was something impressive about her brain, so quick and complex, able to decipher his every action and plan, setting her apart from other punitive humans.
He would love nothing more than to take and pick her brain apart, see it open, raw and bleeding before knitting and stitching it back closed. He had lyrically waxed on how much he loved that delicate little organ that was Batwoman's brain and what he would love to do to it if he ever got his hands on it, much to the disgust and revulsion of his fellow inmates.
For Dent to come so close to injure such a beautiful and fascinating thing that happened to belong to Batwoman was utterly unacceptable. So the Joker roughed him up good and gave him – along with every other inmate with ears and eyes and a processing brain – a warning.
That they better keep their hands off the Joker's property.
~.~.~
There were fewer things in the world that the Joker appreciated and admired more than a powerful man on his knees.
And add it the fact it was Superman himself, it was just desserts for the Joker.
" It's puzzling to me, Supes," he said, playfully bouncing a kryptonite rock up and down in his hand. " How a woman like Batwoman would prefer your – ahem, strong presence, when all I see is a pitiful person so easily kneeling before me. I wonder just what Batwoman sees in you."
The glare in Superman's eyes might have been called daunting but the Joker was used to Batwoman's far more impressive glower. " What do you want, Joker?" he sharply asked.
" For you and Batwoman to get a divorce."
It was worth saying those words just to see Superman's eyes comically bulge out in a mixture of confusion and disbelief. The Joker was unable to deny that Batwoman and Superman did share a close relationship, even among other superheros. It made him bitterly aware Batwoman was paying more attention to someone else other than him.
" I could kill you now," he conversationally said. " Make you disappear. Eliminate the competition, so to speak. Think of all things I could tell Batwoman about you. Make her realize she never belonged to you."
" Batwoman does not belong to me," Superman quietly admitted.
He could have crowed in delight. " Thank you!" he smirked. " I always knew Batwoman could see that I was the better –"
Those freakishly blue eyes bore into the Joker's. " But she does not belong to you either."
Superman's bluntly honest words was like a dash of cold water slapping the Joker's face.
But it didn't stop him from stomping on that perfectly chiseled face in a childish rage.
~.~.~
He did not think too much about it until Harley had called Batwoman "fat" as a means of a distraction in their latest confrontation. Batwoman being Batwoman was hardly fazed as she tackled Harley to the ground.
(The ensuing cat fight was a delight regardless)
No one with a pair of functional eyes would ever call Batwoman obese and overweight. In fact, any man would admire how well-toned and fit Batwoman's body was, a pinnacle of human perfection of a body if there ever was one. In fact, the Joker had come to realize how thin Batwoman had become.
Her cheeks were more sallow and withdrawn than usual. While her strength and ability to toss thugs twice her size like rag dolls had not changed, the Joker was able to detect a slight exhaustion weighing over her shoulders.
Now that was something that was unacceptable and cannot continue.
So, the Joker booked a "reservation" at one of Gotham's finest restaurants. And how happily the restaurant owner and staff complied at the gentle persuasion of him, Harley and his goons. The musicians played a soft melody in the background. The food was set (the one nervous waiter who wasted a plate of food by dropping it was promptly "fired") and ready for consuming.
And soon enough, the guest of honour arrived.
" Batsy!" the Joker trilled, spreading his arms wide in greeting. " How wonderful of you to finally show up. The food was beginning to grow cold. I was thinking I was being stood up on our date."
From the shadows, he could tell that Batwoman arched an eyebrow. " Kidnapping and holding an entire restaurant hostage is your idea of a date?" she dryly asked.
" I only offer the best to my girl," the Joker grinned.
~.~.~.
Despite her otherwise stoic presence, the Joker could tell that Batwoman was torn between being pleased that at least Poison Ivy was captured but at the same time, she appeared displeased that the Joker was the one to bring in Poison Ivy.
" Why the red ribbon?" she finally asked.
" Because it matches your pretty lips, darling." Batwoman always did have a captivating mouth, even if for majority of the time it was turned upside down in a scowl or grimace. The Joker found it most alluring when it was smeared with red, whether with lipstick, paint or with blood.
When Batwoman's frown deepened, he gave her the helpful hint. " It's for our anniversary."
Even if her outward appearance did not appear to change, he could tell she was genuinely bemused. How endearing. " Anniversary?"
He adjusted his tie pompously. " Why Batsy, I'm disappointed that you of all people forgot about the day we first met. It was love at first sight."
It really was. How she appeared from the depths of the shadows, like a vengeful ghost. How she broke bones and smashed teeth with power and precision. How she slammed him against the wall, leaving him beaten and bleeding and all warm and tingling inside.
Never had a person invoked such emotion and thought and desire in him. Batwoman was uniquely special in that she was able to arouse his obsession, consuming him into further madness and insanity, every single time they encountered one another. No other living being came close to making the Joker feel so alive.
" Once you've finished your declaration of love to Batwoman, will you remove that hideous bow from my head?" Poison Ivy snarled, snapping the Joker from his musings.
He then looked at Poison Ivy, taking note of her low-cut, skintight leotard. " I'll throw in her outfit for you for free," he cheekily added, earning an infuriated kick from Poison Ivy and a punch across the face from Batwoman.
It was worth it to imagine what Batwoman would look like, dressed so scantily.
~.~.~
While he was still fuming with the discovery that Batwoman was pregnant and possibly screwing around with Superman, the Joker now had other pressing matters to think about.
He would have never thought in a million years that Batwoman was pregnant. The very idea of being pregnant ruined the infallible, undefeated concept that was Batwoman. It made Batwoman appear so vulnerable and so human. It was repugnant and disappointing.
There was no mistaking the swell of her abdomen as the weeks went by, even if Batwoman managed to conceal it well from most wandering eyes. It made her slower, more cautious and less efficient.
Some grunts tried to take advantage of this. Tried to attack Batwoman's abdomen directly. Tried to get her where it would hurt the most.
Now, the Joker had no stranger to hurting children but something about them trying to hurt Batwoman's unborn baby made him enraged. The baby might not be of his blood but the Joker already saw the baby as his. Like how Batwoman was already his.
So he sent out a warning. The last guy who attempted to kick Batwoman's abdomen before Robin intervened found his girlfriend strung up and hung out to dry. It was not long before everyone in the criminal underground heard about the bloody words written on her bedroom wall.
The rest were wise enough to heed the Joker's message.
~.~.~
Batwoman, for a lack of a better word, was glowing.
Of course, she was just as dangerous, deadly and straight to business as usual. And yet, the Joker could see that she was horribly and disgustingly happy underneath her stoical visage.
At first, he suspected it might have to do with the child she was carrying (the mystery of who the father was still galled the Joker) and that the child had been successfully delivered. Most people would be delighted to have brought life into this world, even if Batwoman was not most people.
But no, this was something else. Something just beyond the tip of his finger. Something more.
At last, the thought of the baby's real father getting together with Batwoman crossed the Joker's mind.
It frankly made him want to vomit. After everything he had done for Batwoman, this was how she repaid him? By running back into the arms of another man.
It was utterly unacceptable that Batwoman had a man on the side. It galled the Joker that she preferred someone else compared to him. What did this guy have that the Joker didn't? Good looks? Money? A strong desire to end the world? It was not as if the Joker did not possess those qualities and traits and more.
Perhaps Batwoman was brainwashed and forced to be in love with this man. Yes, that must be it. Batwoman, for all her logic and reasoning, must realize she was most compatible with the Joker and no other.
His rage now turned to this nameless man who did this to his precious Batwoman. How dare they corrupt her and try to turn her against him?
Once the Joker found out who it was exactly, he would wish he was never born.