1647 EST
Virginia Shoreline
The wind blew off the Atlantic with a bit of a bite. She rested her chin on her raised knees as she watched the waves roll in to crash onto the shore. Kind of reminded of her life at the moment. It just rolled on, flowing effortlessly without a care in the world, until it crashed into something or preferably someone. And it knocked her and swirled her about until she had no idea which way was up.
Mac had confided in Harm about her medical scare during the Admiral's retirement party and invitingly thrust her problems onto Harm's shoulders. Wasn't that what she always done? Mac always thought his shoulders were broad enough to handle her problems as well as his.
But, now Mac wasn't so sure.
It wasn't fair to Harm. Or to her. It wasn't fair to hold that fucking promiseover his head when she had no idea if she could even produce children. Harm deserved to be happy, deserved to have a family someday, if he so inclined. What he didn't deserve was to be held back by some promise that probably didn't even exist anymore.
The story of her life. Everything she dreamed of seemed to be just out of her grasp.
Son of a bitch! Mac wished to be a mother. To carry Harm's baby and have a life with him. Impossible dreams. Sure, there was the adoption method. Who would grant her child when she had no inclination of when or where she could be shipped next? Mac definitely wasn't an ideal candidate.
She pushed herself to her feet and went after Harm. She had to tell him. Had to tell him that she wasn't good for him anymore. That she wasn't what he needed. "Harm, stop, please." Mac's voice rang out across the beach.
Harm stopped mid-stride and turned to face her. Maybe she finally came to her senses and wanted to talk.
"I have something to tell you."
That tone of voice from her was never good. "Let's have a seat," he motioned to the beach.
They sat down together and looked out at the water. For a few minutes, neither one talked, not wanting to break the mood.
"Mac, what's the matter?"
Mac swallowed the huge lump in her throat before responding. "Harm, I'm letting you out of the deal. You don't need to think you owe me that anymore."
He snarled, "It's Webb isn't it? You want to be with him?"
"No, it's not Webb," she said quickly. "He and I are finished. It's about my status."
"Status?" Harm said confusingly, but then realized what she meant and he quickly added, "Mac, don't worry about it. We'll work through it together."
"Harm, I don't know if I can ever have children. The doctor isn't even sure. It's not fair to you."
He faced her and tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear. The simple, yet intimate, gesture tugged at Mac's heartstrings. "I'll be by your side. I'm not going to leave you."
A sad smile graced her face. "I know, and that's why I'm going to leave you."
Leaving? Mac's leaving? Harm tried to breathe, but it hitched in his throat. Harm managed to croak out, "You're leaving?"
"Not literally."
A big 'whoosh'exited Harm's mouth.
"But, what I'm going is giving you my blessing to move with someone else."
Harm breathed, "Mac…"
She stopped the rest of his words with her fingertips. "Ssh. We both know that I'm not what you need." Her voice cracked, but Mac kept her composure,
"Now, what I'm going to do is walk away and you're not going to come after me."
Harm shook his head at her statement. In a way, Mac knew that would be his reaction.
She felt the tears track down her cheeks. This was harder than she thought. "I don't want you to cry, because it would only make it harder. I love you, always, Harm."
Mac quickly got to her feet and started down the beach. Harm had the sudden urge to run after her, but told himself no. This was what Mac wanted, even if it hurt like hell. As he watched her figure blend in with the sun until he couldn't see her, did the tears finally fall from his eyes.
The End