A/N: WHEEE! MY FIRST CHRISTMAS-Y FIC! WHOOOOO! *ahem* Just a little something I came up with while listening to Christmas songs on the radio.
Disclaimer: I don't own IZ, the Chipmunks, a hula-hoop, or a cattle prod (I wish I DID though, I'd be zapping people left and right ^_^).
Yuletide Torture: CHIPMUNK STYLE
By Fifi
Gaz:This has GOT to be the dumbest thing I've ever done.
Dib:There should be a law against this kinda thing.
Zim:Filthy human and her strange form of Chris-mas torture.
GIR:Heeheehee, I'm ina dress! ^-^
Zim:Quiet GIR!
*** Zim, Dib, Gaz, and GIR find themselves standing in, what appears to be, a music studio of some sort. They are all dressed quite strangely (strange for them anyway). Zim, Gaz, and GIR are dressed in somewhat matching sweater/dress outfits that go down to their sneaker clad feet. Gaz's sweater/dress is blue, GIR's is green, and Zim's is red with a large yellow "A" on the front and he is also wearing a red baseball cap.***
Gaz:I can't believe she's making us wear these stupid things.
Zim:It's humiliating!!
Dib:Hey! At least you guys don't have to dress like freaking Mr. Rogers!
*** Instead of his usual black trench-coat attire, poor Dib is decked out in a rather festive sweater vest and slacks.***
Fifi:*walking up to them* Aww, c'mon you guys! I think you look great!
Zim:Of course YOU think that. You're the one who dressed us up like this in the first place!
Fifi:Heheheheh, yeah… SO! You guys ready?
GIR:I'M READY!!
Zim:No you're not!! *to Fifi* WHY exactly are we doing this?
Fifi:Because it's Christmas-y!! ^-^
Zim:…. Yeah. But why are WE the ones who must sing?
Fifi:Because this song requires high, squeaky voices. And you, GIR, and Gaz have high, squeaky voices. Ergo, you three must sing. u_u
Gaz:This is so stupid! How come Dib doesn't have to sing?!
Dib:Hey!!
Fifi:Because: 1. Dib doesn't have a high, squeaky voice, 2. I feel that he better fit's the "Dave" persona, & 3. Dib just flat out can't sing.
Dib:0.
Gaz:But Simon's the one who wears glasses, and Dib wears glasses--
Dib:Whose side are you on Gaz?!
Fifi:*tapping her chin in thought* Hmmm… You know, you gotta point there.
*** And with that she quickly strides over to Dib and snatches off his glasses.***
Dib:Hey!!
*** Ignoring him, she goes over to Gaz and smashes the glasses onto her face.***
Gaz:HEY!!
Fifi:There! Now all is right with the world!
***Fifi quickly hands them their lyric sheets then rushes over to the stereo.***
Gaz:This is so stupid! I can hardly even SEE with these glasses on!!
Dib:I'm not doing much better over here Gaz. Besides, it could be worse. You COULD be Alvin. *glances at Zim*
Zim:*staring quizzically at his lyric sheet* …. What is a "hula-hoop"?
GIR:Yay! We's gonna sing like the Monkey's!
Dib:That's Chipmunks GIR.
GIR:I like po-ta-to chips. ^-^
Dib, Gaz, & Zim:0_o
Fifi:SILENCE!! LET THE SQUEAKY, HIGH-PITCHED, CHRISTMAS-Y, SOOPER ANNOYING FOR YOU GUYS BUT VERY ENTERTAINING FOR ME,TORTURE BEGIN!! *pushes play on the stereo*
***As the song begins, the four reluctantly look to their lyric sheets; Dib and Gaz have to squint at their papers to make out the words.***
Dib *not at all happy*:*sigh* Alright you Chipmunks, ready to sing your song?
Gaz *trying no to loose her lunch*:I'll say we are. *gags*
GIR *actually into it*:Yeah! You bet! ^-^
Dib:Okay Simon?
Gaz:*growls* Okay.
Dib:0_o Umm… Okay Theodore?
GIR:OKAY! ^-^
Dib:Okay Alvin…? Alvin…? ALVIN!!
Zim:_ OKAY!!
Zim, Gaz, and GIR *singing*:
Christmas, Christmas time is near
Time for toys and time for cheer
We've been good but we can't last
Hurry Christmas, hurry fast
Want a plane that loop-de-loops
Zim:
Me, I want a hula-hoop!
Zim, Gaz, and GIR:
We can hardly stand the wait
Please Christmas don't be late!
***As the music plays on, the demented quartet whisper amongst themselves.***
Dib:Why is the music Italian all of a sudden?
Gaz:Yeah. I mean, what are we? The Soprano's?
Zim:Of course we are sopranos, Dib-sister. That is why the FILTHY Turtle-Beast chose US to sing.
GIR:I like the spaghetti music! ^_^
Zim:Quiet GIR!!
Fifi:0_ Hey! Less talk-y, more sing-y! Don't make me get out the cattle prod!
Zim, Dib, and Gaz:O_O;;;
GIR:YAY! The Sparkle-Stick, WHOO!!
Zim, Dib, and Gaz:QUIET GIR!!
Dib *quickly fumbling with his lyric sheet*: Ahem… Uh, okay fellas, get ready. That was very good Simon.
Gaz *grinding her teeth*:_ Naturally.
Dib:Very good, Theodore.
GIR:*giggles insanely*
Dib:Alvin, you were a little flat. Watch it… uh Alvin…? Alvin…? ALVIN!!
Zim:Okay!!
Zim, Gaz, and GIR *singing again*:
Want a plane that loop-de-loops
Zim:
I still want a hula-hoop!
Zim, Gaz, and GIR:
We can hardly stand the wait!
Please Christmas don't be late!
***As the song ends, Dib, Zim, and Gaz all breath a sigh of relief.***
Gaz:Thank God that's over.
Dib:Yeah, you said it.
Zim:Zim never wants to experience anything like that ever again.
GIR:WHOO! That was fun!
Zim, Dib, and Gaz:0. QUIET GIR!!
Fifi:You guys, THAT was amazing! Truly terrific! Bravo!
***Zim, Dib, and Gaz all glare at her as if mentally willing her to burst into flames, while GIR takes this moment to try and eat one of his sneakers.***
Fifi:You were so good, in fact… *evil grin* That I think an ENCORE is in order! *quickly presses replay on the stereo*
Zim, Dib, and Gaz:O_O;;; NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
GIR:^_^ YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!
Zim, Dib, and Gaz:_ QUIET GIR!!!
*** As everybody, except for GIR, miserably proceeds to sing through the song once more, Fifi stands back and admires her depraved handy-work.***
Fifi:*sigh* God bless us, everyone.
End.
AN: Ehehehehehehe! I'ma lil' meany! Anywhosits, read and review -- BUT NO FLAMES! Anyone who flames this will be magically transformed into the Grinch.