"Get lost idiot! No one wants to be friends with an anti-social wreck like you!" is what most kids in school tell me.
I approach them, they run away.
I try talking, they stop listening.
I become invisible, they spread rumours.
I live a life that is both lonely and humiliating. I cry for the pain that lurches around my body. I pity myself for the bad luck in my sunken life.
But it's not all bad. As I have two best friends: Jiga; and Ido.
Whenever I'm alone, they'll always come to me to support me.
Jiga has a cheerful personality but is quite shy. She has long, soft, angelic hair that goes down to her knees and wears a hair clip in the shape of two wings.
Whenever I'm sad, she'll always come to me and use any method of comforting. Her talents are always of a top standard and she is a very elegant yet organized girl as well. We have never seen her upset before and so when the day comes, she'll probably get over it in seconds.
Her manners are good and she'd always lecture us about these good manners. She'd even go as far as to tell us fables.
I have a bit of a feeling for her, but I don't want to creep her out. She is like a sister to me.
Ido has a carefree personality but lives a rather rowdy lifestyle. He has short, spiky, wicked hair that will never stand still.
Whenever I'm sad, he'd always come over and tell me what I should really do to solve the problem. His ideas are practical, but sometimes dangerous. He is very lazy and so Jiga has to clean up after him.
He's an animal-like person with eyes that look like cats. They are creepy but cool at the same time. He likes to get caught up in many fights over trivial matters and has a short-temper.
I am afraid of him, but I don't mind him at all. He is like a brother to me.
I have parents but they are too busy with their fake lives to care for me. They have probably forgotten that they even have a child.
They are married but even so, they go out everyday to find new people so they raise more affairs at each other. They are okay with this but I'm not.
They're disgusting and childish. I wish I never had them as my parents.
Child-line is futile as well. Even when they come, a big scene is made so that it looks like I'm the one at fault when they switch masks to look like loving Samaritans which is, of course, a lie.
Even so, I still have my two best friends.
I go to a public school but it's just a rubbish heap that will never be cleaned. I probably won't be able to get a future from this stinking landfill.
I have trouble thinking in class as the other kids would be smirking at me and throwing paper onto my head. They make up lies so that teachers would shout at me.
They're unfair and immoral. I wish I never got placed into this school.
Councillors are futile as well. Even when they come, the principal will always send them back as reputation is the most important thing to him.
Even so, I still have my two best friends.
Today, I had a lesson of Mathematics; English; and Home Economics.
I normally have 4 lessons a day, but some stupid kids got me into trouble hence making me miss out on Gym, which is quite a relief.
"Today's dodge-ball. At least I won't be hit frequently by them" was a thought I devised during isolation.
Even so, I still have to attend isolation during lunchtime for the next fortnight.
That's going to really leave a stain on my record.
At the start of the day, I managed to learn some things for the exam. During the lesson, I thought I heard my name being talked about. But I didn't really care as it's no news to me. Then there were a few cases where paper balls were chucked at me. The teacher realised I 'made' a mess. I had to clean up the classroom whilst everyone else stared in disgust and delight.
English was slightly boring and some of the kids started giggling. I almost fell asleep and the kids blamed me for giggling in my half-awake state. I was sent out and the class laughed some more. Two heavy buckets of water was given to me for my punishment, time seemed long but at least I don't have to see their faces.
Home Economics was slightly painful. We made scones and I burnt my hand countless times. I tripped over a couple of times from pots on the floor and hit my head once on the table, but I'm fine now. I left my scones to cook and I turned away for a moment. The sound of ovens opening were heard all over the classroom. I checked to see if they were done. I looked in my oven and there was nothing there but a cooking tray. The teacher concluded that I was doing nothing productive and so sent me into isolation for "not using school property correctly."
Past days were like this. Some were worse though.
Sometimes I do wish that Jiga and Ido attends the school I go to. I was told that Jiga is home-tutored and Ido gets grounded a lot for fighting people. I can't see them as often as I'd like to but at least we do see each other from time to time.
I've never been around their place but I don't think their parents would appreciate me intruding their property.
Currently, I'm in my bedroom with my two best friends.
"How was school today?" A caring Jiga asks me.
"It was normal, I guess," I quietly answer.
"Did you beat up some god-damn kids like I told you to?" A violent Ido interrupts.
Jiga comes in to flick Ido on the forehead.
"Ow!" Ido reacts.
"Stop teaching bad stuff! It's not good to always fight," Jiga argues.
Ido sighs. "Fine, fine," He grumps.
"Thank you for caring," I try smile at the two.
"You're welcome," They both reply.
I look outside the window as the scorching sun stares into the streets. It looks as though the streets are empty due to the heat. It seems like the perfect time to have an outing.
I make a big sigh in fear of contacting someone I don't want to see.
"Do you want to go out?" Jiga wonders.
I shake my head without confidence. I don't want to go out but I really do.
"Are you scared of those kids?" Ido wonders.
My head nods vigorously up and down as I look into the empty streets.
Jiga and Ido both get up at the same time with eager. "Let's all go out together!" They both suggest.
"We're here with you so don't worry about the kids," Jiga adds.
My face lifts, facing their faces as the window reflection gleams onto my bright face. "Y-yes!" I nervously but excitedly answer.
I put on a pair of thin socks, a sleeveless jacket, a breezy cap, and my favourite shoes.
We make our way out to the streets that was like a battlefield. No escape, no turning back, no innocence. "This will be thrilling!" I thought to myself in joy.
This is the first time I've ever properly been out with both Jiga and Ido. They've been too busy but today, I can finally experience life with them.
The street is long, the sun rages. We make our way down the street where no souls can be seen. "It's too hot to be out," Jiga hypothesises.
"At least it's not too bad for us," I calmly sigh.
"I wanted to beat up some people today," Ido anticipated.
Jiga and I both stare at him in blankness but shock. He looks, turns away, and carries on walking. "Hurry up slow-pokes!" He laughs as he starts sprinting without us.
"W-wait up!" Jiga shouts in fury.
We run after him and he stops in front of a park to catch his breath. "I need…water!" He pleads as he weakly wobbles to the miraculous vending machine.
He makes it to the vending machine and looks back. "Jiga~" Ido begs.
"Okay, okay." She takes some loose change out of her pocket and gives it to Ido.
Ido decides to choose an orangeade. Before the orangeade came out, a stone comes flying and hits me on the head. "Ow!" I respond, rubbing the area that got hit and looking to see what was thrown at me.
"Are you alright!?" Jiga panics.
"I'm alright, it didn't hurt too much," I reply.
"OI KIDS! GET OVER HERE!" Ido shouts as he rampages to the group of kids that are starting to run.
"I-Ido! Come back here right this instant!" Jiga screams at the violent Ido.
I see him coming over, clenching one of the kids.
"L-l-let me go!" The Kid orders.
"Did you throw the stone?" Ido's dark face goes closer to the Kid's face.
The Kid's face becomes horrified. "Y-y-yes! I did it!" The Kid answers.
"Why did you do it?" Ido's face becomes darker as he interrogates the kid further.
"N-n-n-no one likes a mental kid like you!" The Kid directs at me.
"Y-y-y-you're so different to all of us that it's so much fun to make fun of! You're so crazy that it makes us laugh!" The Kid smiles as he laughs in a sadistic tone.
"WHY YOU!" Ido smashes the Kid to the ground with full force.
"Stop this Ido!" Jiga comes in to break the violence.
Jiga pushes Ido away from the Kid and the Kid makes a brisk escape.
"Why did you let him go!?" Ido rages.
"You can't solve problems by always fighting!" Jiga argues.
There is a sudden pause and they both face downwards into the dry floor. They both then divert their faces to me with empathy. "I'm sorry it came out this way." Jiga frowns.
"I-it's fine, probably..." I grief.
We make our way back to my house as Ido swallows his soft drink and Jiga looking at the ground.
"But it would've been good to beat him up. Serves him right," Jiga realises.
"I was probably too harsh on that kid," Ido apologises.
They make up and giggle. I too giggled.
They ended up having a conversation about how they should be like each other.
My mind became blank. I wasn't able to feel my conscience. I feel my head spinning around in circles, the blue sky is slowly fading black. My body becomes painful inside. I can see Jiga and Ido pace off without me. My sight slowly closes. My breathing becomes faster as my body starts to fall flat on the rough surface of the ground. I didn't know what this meant. My hand tried reaching them.
I thought I died.
I woke up in shock and with heavy breathing. I notice that I'm on my bed. The weather outside became worse. "Wasn't it sunny earlier ago?" I thought to myself as I see the tempest outside and hear the roaring wind swirl in the grey sky.
Something didn't feel right.
I rushed downstairs and I see in the living room, two bodies of those laid on the ground. Jiga and Ido laid there...deceased.
My eyes widened, pupils shrunk. My breathing becomes worse, wheezing in fear. My posture fixated at an angle. I feel the room expanding, laughing, as I see them there with their eyes opened like dolls.
"I was expecting you," An ominous, sharp voice is heard.
"Wh-who are y-you?" I question by impulse.
I see a silhouette come closer from the shadows up ahead. The figure steps into the light. Mouth smiling; eyes anticipating; arms folded. This was merely a scene of murder, but the figure is unexpected. The figure was...me.
"I am you," The imposter spoke.
"I don't like this! Who are you and why did you kill them!?" I question forcefully.
"I did tell you, I am you. And I didn't kill them, they self-destructed" It replied humbly.
"W-what do you mean?" I become curious.
"They are both a part of us," It spoke with a serious tone.
"Their job is done. I have to take them away from you before we all go into madness," It explains.
"Why would we go insane?" I wonder.
"If they keep going on like this...they will lose their purpose," It speaks in grave regret.
"Purpose?" I become confused.
"These two are a part of us, they are simply but the good and the bad. Whereas you, on the other hand, are the being that links all of us. At the moment, we are both of the same state. We are both the conscience that makes up all of this. All the events leading up to now was all your doing. These two hold all of your actions. What they do is what you're doing," It explains.
"So, the kids Ido beat up was equally my doing?" I wondered.
"Yes," It replies briskly.
"The reason why everyone hated you is because of Jiga and Ido. You have split personalities that make you a nuisance to all those around you. Even your parents couldn't handle their mistake which was you. That is the sole cause of their affairs," It adds.
"Your mind should be clearer now, we should go back to our normal lives and see our reality right before our eyes," My other self concludes.
This other self of me crouches down to take Jiga and Ido away. My other self faces away from me as it grows wings. "Don't leave me!" I blurt out.
"Why should we wait for you?" It asks.
"I don't want Jiga and Ido taken away from me! I don't know what to do after they're gone," I frown.
"Don't always ask help, help yourself. We can't always help you to stand on your two feet. Show me some courage and do it," It lectured at me.
I take into account the words he told me. "Will I be able to see you again?" I ask.
"We will see each other one day. But now is not the time." The angelic figure of me flies away.
My thoughts become clearer as I know what I'm meant to do.
I see it off as my eyesight falls. I faint onto the imaginary floor.
I woke up in shock and with neutral breathing. I notice that I'm on my bed. The weather outside shines with the joyous sun smiling at me.
"Am I forgetting something?" I wonder to myself as I stare into my organized room.
I walk downstairs and notice a delicious aroma coming from the kitchen.
"You're awake quite early," I am greeted by father who's reading the newspaper at the table.
"G-good mornin'," I reply timidly.
"Good morning. Here's breakfast," Mother comes out of the kitchen with a plate of pancakes and waffles drizzles in maple syrup.
"Th-thank you mother," I eagerly speak with nervousness.
I sit down at the table and start eating the sweet, warming breakfast.
Although the day has been fine so far, I still feel that I'm forgetting something important.
I finish the breakfast and go to my room to get ready for school. I put on my uniform and whilst buttoning up my shirt, I noticed that one of my drawers is slightly opened.
I open the drawer and find a hairpin in the shape of wings and a fizzing orangeade next to it.
I start to remember what happened. All the flashbacks are starting to get to me. I remember.
I remember all those events before today existed, I smile at the two items and I put the hair clip in a deep part of my blazer and the orangeade into my bag. "Thank you," I said to the two that gave me courage.
"Are you awake yet!? We'll leave without you!" Someone outside shouts at my window.
I look outside the window and I notice the kid, from the park who threw the stone at me, is waving at me in optimism with the other lot of friends. But now thinking, he is also my best friend in this altered universe.
"I'll be there quickly!" I rush to leave and start the bright day.
We may be crying by ourselves from our unjust decisions and confused emotions.
We must face all of our problems by ourself or we are only looking to see fake answers.
We will always feel aloof in our lives and that shouldn't stop us from looking at the lonesome reality.
We are courageous, we are independent, we are logical.
Even so, I am lucky to have experienced having two best friends that are Jiga and Ido.
