Spring is the roughest. The turning of the leaves, the new growth, the sound of the birds singing their praises of a new birth and a new morn. Martha was taken from me five springs ago and I fight time as it tries to erase the little details and memories of her. Forgetting her would be my biggest failure as a man. The guilt of living, though, is lessening. It helps now that Cady and I spend some Sundays together and go visit her mom. Mostly, we just sit, telling Martha about all of Cady's accomplishments and spending time together. Martha would be very pleased with both of us and in turn it pleases me.

Bit by bit, Cady and Henry have hinted that I get back on with living and begin dating again but I avoid their hints and Henry's suggestions of double-dating. I remind Henry that we didn't double-date as gangly sophomores in high school and I'm not about to start now. I tried to ask Vic out a couple of months ago but that didn't go so well. I couldn't get the words out stumbled all over myself. It ended up sounding like an order instead of a question so I segued and dropped it. Vic, if she noticed, never said a word about it and that's how it's been. We make it through our day-to-day routine. On occasion, I hear the chides of the local fella's about working with a beautiful deputy but it doesn't happen too often. I think they are more scared if Vic found out about their smack talking than anything I could say but I suspect the look I throw them speaks for my thoughts and they usually shut up.

Vic strides into my office through the door as she knocks, "Hey Walt…..

"It's customary to wait for an answer when the door is closed and you knock."

"Oh really, well there's no one in here. What are you doing in here all by yourself?" Vic snickers at me and I know it's useless. Now I have both her and Ruby gliding in whenever they want to.

"What do you want?"

"Damn, who woke up on the wrong side of the bed today?"

I want to tell her it took me about two years to figure out I should sleep in the middle since losing Martha. That way there wasn't my side or her side just the middle. I stare at her waiting for the reason for the invasion.

"Walt, I was hoping I could take tomorrow off for a nice three day weekend. You know my last one didn't work out so well and I was kinda hoping not to be taken hostage this time."

I want to ask her what she's doing or who she is going with and for a very brief moment a hint of jealousy, that I am not accustomed to, rises to my lips but I ignore it.

"okay"

"okay"

I don't know if she wants me to protest or comment on her mention of Chance and the night that changed everything for us.

"Thanks". She turns on her heels and heads out. I stand to my feet but I don't know why. What the hell am I going to say? I have no right to ask. Vic goes back to her desk and I can see her texting on her cell phone. Well, it's confirmed,she has plans.

This is going to be a long weekend.

I retreat into the sanctuary of my office and slide out of my private door. I steer the Bullet on the open road and know instinctively where to go. Sitting on the beautiful hillside soaking in the burgeoning rays of sun warming my bones I finally ask Martha for permission. I head back home and get a head start on finishing the bookcase for the living room. I've kept my promise to Cady and have finished the roof, the porch and the shower. She can't help but comment when she comes over but I don't mind because it means she visits me more often.

The groans from my hunger pains grow so I figure the Red Pony it is for dinner. I saddle up to a stool and Henry brings me the dinner special.

"I see you are not the only one from your department who has graced me with their presence this evening." He nods peering over my shoulder.

I glance over and see Vic, decidedly dressed to kill and decidedly not dressed like a deputy, having dinner with Ted Womack, a local realtor. Again, my stomach falls out from under me as my heart stops. The same sinking feeling I felt this afternoon. I turn back to Henry and try to chew the bit of food in my mouth.

"Well, are you not going to say anything?"

"Nope."