Cascore's Note: Hello everyone, and welcome to a short fanfiction I suddenly thought of on my walk back from school. It's based off a joke I heard from Dane Cook, and I thought it'd be fun to make a story about the joke involving Mario and Bowser, possibly two of the most stressed arch-enemies in video game history (in my opinion). So please, read on, and I hope you enjoy the story.
Disclaimer: Characters and locations used for this story are property of Nintendo, and the underlying joke is property of Dane Cook.
"Mario's Stress"
It was another lazy day at the Mario Brothers household. The birds were chirping peacefully, the skies were blue as ever, and everything worked perfectly in tune to make the day that much more relaxing.
Luigi had just finished setting out breakfast, a feast of scrambled eggs, french toast, bacon, sausage, sliced mushrooms, orange juice, and milk. The meal was spanned out over the circular wooden table within the kitchen, and both brothers sat down on either side, ready to down the food before them.
Neither had bothered to change out of their pajamas and night caps yet, as the morning was still new and they didn't plan to go into town for a few hours. Mario wore a red and white striped pajama suit with a red cap while Luigi wore a similar suit, but with green instead.
"Man Luigi, you're getting pretty good at cooking," Mario complimented, chowing down on his french toast eagerly.
"Thanks bro," Luigi said happily, holding off on biting a piece of the bacon. "I threw in some cinnamon for the toast today; thought it might add an extra little kick to it."
"It definitely did," Mario replied, his mouth almost full with toast. He took the fork he was holding and pointed it at the container of maple syrup near Luigi. "Could you pass the syrup please?"
"Sure," Luigi said, setting his bacon down after taking a bite of it. He reached over to the syrup and handed it across the table to Mario.
"Thanks," Mario said, taking the syrup eagerly and drowning his toast with it. He then took another bite of the newly covered toast and dropped his fork immediately. "This syrup rocks!"
"Really?" Luigi said, reaching for the syrup and taking a look at it. "Oh yeah, I remember mixing a little bit of Jammin' Jelly in here."
"Ah, no wonder it tastes so good," Mario commented. He soon stopped to think for a second before raising an eyebrow at his brother. "Wait a minute, where'd you get Jammin' Jelly from? That stuff's not easy to find."
"I had to look around," Luigi said nonchalantly, taking a bite of his scrambled eggs. "I really wanted to experiment with some, but it took a few days to track down someone who sold them by the jar."
"How much was it?" Mario asked, looking back at his food as he introduced a bit of bacon to his mouth. Luigi swallowed roughly, banged a fist against his chest, and coughed a little.
"Uh..." he said, looking reluctant to answer. This caught Mario's attention, who soon looked back at Luigi, becoming a bit concerned.
"How much was it Luigi?" he asked more seriously. Luigi cleared his throat and looked at the table, rather ashamed.
"Um...five..." he began slowly. Mario leaned in a little, waiting for his answer eagerly.
"Five...coins?" Mario said, trying to finish Luigi's sentence. He hoped he was right, but Luigi shook his head slowly. "Five...hundred?" Mario guessed again. Luigi looked up at his brother, appearing even more ashamed than before. Mario stood up from his seat, partially leaning over the table toward his brother, looking anxious and angry at the same time. "How much did you pay Luigi?" Mario asked again, almost yelling.
"Five...thousand coins," Luigi muttered, dropping his head, waiting for the verbal thrashing that was sure to come.
Mario smacked an open palm on the table, causing the contents on top to jump and shake slightly.
"Five thousand coins!?" Mario yelled, unable to believe his ears. "You seriously spent five thousand coins on a jar of Jammin' Jelly just to experiment with!? Ugh, I can't believe this!"
He let out a sigh to calm himself down a bit. Luigi already knew he didn't make the best decision by purchasing the jelly, and Mario really couldn't stay angry with his brother, not after everything they'd been through together. Soon, Mario made himself believe the five thousands coins wasn't a big deal, and soon he sat back down.
"It's okay Luigi," he sighed, returning to his meal. "We can always make the money back." Luigi looked back at his brother, still holding his look of shame.
"I'm really sorry bro," he apologized. Mario simply waved a hand, dismissing the issue in an instant.
–
As the day wore on, dark clouds slowly rolled in. Luigi had just finished drying the laundry on the line in the front yard as the first drop of rain fell and struck him on the nose. Quickly folding the load of clothes into his laundry basket, he hurried indoors before the rain got worse.
It was noon, and the brothers had changed into their everyday clothes, planning to go into town soon. However, the oncoming rain stood as a possible hindrance to the trip. Mario gazed out the window as Luigi placed their clothes in the proper drawers of their dresser.
"Looks like we might not be going to town today," Mario said, catching his brother's attention. Luigi tucked away one more shirt before taking a break and joining his brother at the window.
"Yeah, it's coming down pretty hard out there," he commented as the rain grew much heavier than it was just minutes ago. Luigi went back to finish up his chore. "Peach can wait another day for us to come by. I'm sure she'll understand we couldn't visit today."
Barely a second passed after Luigi made the statement that Mario spotted a figure approaching the household from the air. It looked to be a yellow-shelled Parakoopa, wearing a leather helmet with a pair of goggles built in. It carried a mail bag at its side, attached to it by a strap reaching around its shoulder. Mario immediately recognized it to be Parakarry.
Parakarry landed on the front patio and knocked on the door three times. Luigi looked over as Mario took a step to the side and opened the door for the mail carrier.
"Hello Mario," Parakarry said brightly, despite being drenched with rainwater.
"Hey Parakarry," Mario said, stepping to the side. "Come on in."
Parakarry stepped into the house, resting his wet work shoes on the welcome mat within to avoid getting the floor wet. "Thank you Mario, I appreciate it." He turned and closed the door behind him softly.
"I came by today to give you this letter from Toadsworth," Parakarry said, reaching into his mail bag and retrieving the letter.
"Oh great, that can't be good," Luigi said, finishing up his chore and joining the two at the door as Parakarry gave the letter to Mario. He opened it up and began reading silently. "What's it say bro?" Luigi asked, looking over to view the letter as best he could.
"Nothing much," Mario said, having read through it already. He folded the letter back up and replaced it in the envelope. "It just says that the dinner in the castle has to be postponed. That's about it."
"Ah, that reminds me, there's a second part to that letter," Parakarry mentioned, digging in his bag once more. Mario raised an eyebrow at him.
"A second part?" he asked as Parakarry handed him the new letter. He opened it up and read through it silently, Luigi looking over to get a view of it as well. Both brothers sighed at once, and Mario folded and replaced the letter back into its envelope. "Should have expected that," Mario muttered, slightly irritated. "The dinner's postponed because Bowser kidnapped Peach again."
"That's great," Luigi said sarcastically.
"That Princess Peach sure does get kidnapped often doesn't she?" Parakarry said, smiling and chuckling nervously. "You'd think that, by now, the folks up in the castle would have set up some kind of defensive measures to better prevent that from happening."
"Yeah, well...it keeps things interesting I guess," Mario said unconvincingly. "Thanks for bringing us the message Parakarry, especially in weather like this."
"Well, as the motto goes, 'Rain, sleet, snow or hail, we deliver what you mail!'" Parakarry recited happily. "With that, I should probably head back out. It was nice seeing you two again."
"Ditto," Luigi said.
"Take care Parakarry," Mario said.
Parakarry opened the door and stepped out quickly, closing it behind him as soon as he was through it. Once Parakarry was gone, Mario turned and unceremoniously dropped the letters onto the dining table with a deep sigh. He then fell into one of the chairs and rested his head on a closed fist. Luigi noted his brother's bad mood and went to his side.
"You alright bro?" he asked, pulling the chair from the opposite side of the table next to Mario. Mario glanced at him from the side of his eye and let out another sigh.
"I'm just starting to get a little sick of it, you know?" he said, looking at the table instead of Luigi. "I mean, this happens all the time. Bowser kidnaps Peach, I have to go rescue her, I end up defeating Bowser, I get about a month off, then it happens all over again. It's just getting a little old, and it's stressful. It's not like Bowser makes it easy for me."
Luigi desperately wanted to argue the fact that they both work together to rescue Peach, but he held his tongue, knowing that it was usually Mario that actually did the bulk of the work most of the time. He also didn't want to upset his brother any more, especially after the confession that morning.
"This has been a slow month for us as far as work, we don't have very much money left...apparently," Mario said, verbally stabbing Luigi through the heart. Luigi was rather surprised he'd be so malicious at the moment as to bring that point up again. "And now I need to go off and rescue Peach yet again. It just makes me want to..."
"Cry?" Luigi said, attempting to finish Mario's sentence. Mario looked over at him rather astonished for a moment before shaking his head quickly.
"Where did that—no I don't want to cry," Mario said quickly, and rather defensively. Luigi merely shrugged.
"There's no shame in crying bro," Luigi said simply. "It's a good emotional release really. I cry every time I feel overwhelmed and I always feel a lot better afterwards." Mario didn't have trouble believing him; Luigi's been known to be a bit of a crybaby. But his words did spark a bit of interest in him.
"Sometimes, all you really need is a good cry," Luigi finished up, standing from his seat and replacing it at its previous position. He then went into the bedroom to continue reading a book he'd been working through for the past few weeks.
Mario sat at the table for a few minutes, contemplating Luigi's speech. Maybe his little brother was right. Maybe a good cry was all he needed to just let all his feelings out.
He got up and walked over to the window next to the front door and gazed out once again. The rain was coming down so thick that he could barely see into the front yard. He leaned against the sill and watched it, thinking about letting himself break down and cry. Just once. To try it out.
"Nah, not right now," he muttered to himself. "Maybe one day though. One day, I'll just let it all out."