Disclaimer: I don't own anything.
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Two Heads Are Better Than One (Until You Have None)
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Chapter 1
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When Sasuke first wakes up on the thin mattress in the dark, dungeon-esque hole in the ground he's been taken to, he is fairly certain he is going to die. That obviously he's been kidnapped somehow after foolishly falling asleep on the subway after a series of late night shifts at the bakery job he took up after classes and he is going to have all his organs removed before they chop him into tiny little pieces for the fishes.
And then he meets Orochimaru. Just the sight of the other man with his oddly pale skin, in-human yellow eyes, and freakishly tongue is enough to make Sasuke scream, high and piercing so it echos through the stone room. Orochimaru stretches his mouth into something that might have been a smile once and told someone Sasuke cannot see, "I like this one."
So his time in this world begins. He's still not entirely sure why Orochimaru doesn't kill him off in the beginning (something that seems highly probable and expected of the snake man) and instead chooses to train him. While Uchiha seems to know something Sasuke is more likely to get answers out of a particularly chatty rock.
(Actually…a talking rock probably wouldn't surprise him at this point. Talking animals, the ability to destroy mountains, breath fire, move faster than a car, and survive a variety of injuries that would leave any normal person dead or at least paralyzed; Sasuke figures he could just about handle anything at this point.)
At first he refuses. How could they ask him to kill anything, let alone a person? He's a vegetarian for Christ sake! His father once took him hunting and he threw up out of nerves when he's told to shoot (Itachi took the shot, of course.) At first Orochimaru tries to starve him into compliance—a usual tactic apparently—but Sasuke is an Uchiha. Uchiha's don't fold to something as simple as hunger (or fear) no matter how hungry he is. (And if he has to remind himself almost constantly of that fact as the days drag on and on and on in that awful, dank cell they've thrown him into, then that is okay. Even Itachi would have struggled here.) After a week they ask again and he grits his teeth and refuses out of the pure willpower and spite.
Then Kabuto steps in.
There is something wrong with the man. Sasuke is certain it is something in his smile, how it just seems a little…off. Not to mention his aura that stuck to anything and everything like slime. Not even Orochimaru's aura—sickly, festering, and…dying as it is—is as disturbing as Kabuto's. But still, Kabuto brings food and Sasuke is almost certain if Kabuto wanted to kill him, he'd kill him whether Sasuke ate the food or not.
So as he eats and Kabuto tries to use reason. "Even if you manage to leave, how will you survive? Missing-nin and thieves litter the country side," Kabuto states, "How do you expect to protect yourself without the ability to defend yourself?"
Sasuke laughs, "We both know that isn't why Orochimaru wants me to learn." He's heard the screams at night (or what passes for night down here). Orochimaru wants him for something. Doing what he wants couldn't lead to anything good.
Kabuto seems amused, but Sasuke can't tell for sure. And he is certain of all the people he has met in this world, Kabuto is the most dangerous for all that he plays subservient. "That doesn't change the fact that you're helpless like this. What are you going to do when Orochimaru-sama no longer finds you interesting?"
Sasuke shrugs, "I'll cross that bridge when I need to."
After he leaves, Sasuke spends twelve hours trying to remove the gunky-aura from his clothes. It doesn't work.
...
At some point, they start feeding him. Small amounts. Light soups and something like oatmeal. He doesn't know why. Nothing changes as far as he knows. Orochimaru is still terrifying. Kabuto is still disgusting. Sasuke hasn't given an inch. And then he met Uchiha. It is like looking at a mirror. A blood covered, rather terrifying mirror with blood red eyes instead of the steady black and short, wild hair where Sasuke has chosen to wear his long like most of his cousins. But the face is the same. The same nose and jaw that he takes from his mother. The same thin lips from his father. And the same confidence and posture that has carried Sasuke through life—self assured, confidence bordering on arrogant.
Uchiha glares.
"Yo," Sasuke smiles, waves, and refuses to take the bait after a few minutes of tense silence.
His counterpart glares harder. But his aura remains warm, reaching out to him like a small child would reach out to something shiny: cautious and curious. When Sasuke starts seeing the strange clouds that surrounds the people in this world, he simply assumes he's hallucinating, gone mad from either the hunger or the lack of sunlight. But then he learns he can touch them, change them, pull and tug until a small piece sits in his hand.
The first time he did this Orochimaru slapped him hard enough to throw him against the wall, the pain more paralyzing thanks to the shock of being hit than the effect (he'd felt that later). "What did you do?" he'd hissed, stepping into Sasuke's personal space.
Sasuke couldn't breathe. He could barely move. The fear he'd felt in that moment had kept him pressed up against the wall, the stone cool against his smarting cheek and the grit against his knees grounding enough. He'd held out his hand, the ball of cool grey and green aura sitting in his open palm. "I…I was just…."
Orochimaru looked at his open hand and then at him, eye's narrowed. "Explain."
And so Sasuke does because what else could he do. Uchiha later tell him he shouldn't have, but at the time he hadn't known better. The more he talked, the less angry Orochimaru became until his aura had settled around Sasuke like a fog.
"Fascinating," Orochimaru grinned and it is more terrifying than his smile.
Sasuke doesn't remember what happened next. And he thinks that's for the best. When he wakes, it is on a hospital bed with a series of tubes and machines hooked into his arms and chest. It is then that Orochimaru first asks him to train. Sasuke refuses.
And now here they are.
"So why you in here?" Sasuke asks, reaching out his own hand to poke at the first warm aura he has felt in this world. It wavers and his counterpart takes an audible breath. "Hard drug use, debt, or I'm actually as psychopathic as the Kabuto in this world?"
His counterpart hums softly and unlocks the door. There is a series of keys hanging from his waist. Jailer, Sasuke thinks. And frowns, his counterpart works here, has power ?
Sasuke shakes the chains around his wrist pointedly. Uchiha unlocks them, takes his wrist and pulls him out of the cage without saying a word.
"Are we leaving?" Sasuke has to ask. Because he doesn't want to believe that a version of himself could do what the snake man asks him to. Kill or be killed, Kabuto warned him. Sasuke has chosen to be killed, it seems. Not because he is a martyr but because he knows he has no other choice. Murder…murder is not something he can even consider.
Figures it wouldn't be the same in this world. "No," his counterpart says, looking at him. His eyes are still red. But now Sasuke can make out the strange comma-shaped pupils that dominat the red.
"Why are you here?" Sasuke asks again after several moments of silence as they glided from one hallway to another until they find themselves in front of a door. The same symbol on his counterpart's shirt is engraved into the door. When it opens, Sasuke isn't surprised to see a bedroom.
His counterpart pauses before turning around to finally look him in the eyes. The commas seem to be spinning, "Is your family alive?"
Sasuke narrows his eyes, "Is that a threat?"
Uchiha shakes his head and smirks as if he is amused. But his aura takes on a distinct blue shade that Sasuke has come to connect with grief. "Mine isn't."
And then the world fades away.
...
When he wakes up, he is crying. It takes all his energy—what little he has—to turn himself over the edge of the bed so he can throw up without fear of drowning. When he is done, he feels the bed dip and a pair of warm hands move him as if he is no heavier than a rag doll. "Why?" Sasuke cries recognizing that warm, white aura (Chakra, Orochimaru has insisted.) "I didn't…"
Uchiha runs a cool cloth over his forehead and takes a moment to wipe the tears from his cheeks. "You asked why," Uchiha says as if it is the simplest thing in the world. As if he hasn't forced Sasuke to witness the murder of his entire family. Massacre, his mind supplies and Sasuke sobs, thick and heavy. Wiped out. The last ones, Sasuke thinks. And yes, Sasuke can see why he is here running from it all, searching for power to make sure it can never, ever happen again. The last ones, he thinks and it feels like shackles.
But…no…not the last ones. And he remembers the grief on his precious brother's face before he cuts their mother down and cries even harder. When he is calm enough and Uchiha has helped him sit up, he refuses, "Itachi would never do that."
Uchiha breathes hard, his knuckles are paper white where he grips Sasuke's arms. "I showed you."
"I know," Sasuke says, "But Itachi…we know Itachi," Sasuke swallows hard, "You really think Itachi managed to do all that? Our Itachi?! Overbaring, overprotective. Cold and an asshole sometimes. But not…" He breaths deep, "We know better."
Uchiha looks away, "We turned out different in this world."
"Not that differently," Sasuke insists, "It can't… He's Itachi…." And he thinks about the tears he'd seen in Itachi's eyes, the tears this Sasuke must have seen, "He was crying."
"So he's not heartless," Uchiha says after a moment. "But it is his sword, his hands."
"You really think it's that simple?" Sasuke asks.
Uchiha looks away and slowly shakes his head. "But what else can I think?" And there is grief in his voice. His chakra sinks pulls in tight, wrapping around him like a cocoon.
"Do you know why?" Sasuke asks and he thinks about Itachi asking them to hate him and it doesn't fit. It doesn't work. When Uchiha says nothing, Sasuke pushes, "Have you tired asking him?"
...
Two days later, he is moved to his own room, is given a bath and told by a man who seems to melt out of the wall that he will be eating dinner with the lord of the house from now on. Sasuke just wants to sleep. But it is rare if what he wants matters these days.
It becomes normal after that to have dinner with Orochimaru, Kabuto, and Uchiha after a day of being locked up in his room. He doesn't know what they want. He doesn't really care. He spends most days listless, others dedicated to combing through the variety of memories Uchiha has left him looking for clues. Not Itachi, he thinks because he has to. Because he knows his brother, his Aniki (who always, always takes the shot whenever they go hunting and that thought alone sends Sasuke to the bathroom to throw up what little he'd eaten that day) and he knows just as he knows that somewhere out there the sun is rising and setting even though he cannot see it (might never see it again at this rate) that his brother could never have done what he Uchiha insists he did. Not if he had another choice. There must be a reason.
And then one day Sasuke wakes up and knows he has to find answers. Knows he can't continue like this, rotting away in this pit. Knows he has to save his counterpart from doing something unthinkable before it is too late.
(Fratricide, his mind whispers and Sasuke shivers.)
He thinks about everything he has learned about this world in the time he has spent here (and how long has it been, how many days? And he doesn't think about his family waiting for him to call because he promised his mother he would when he got home from work. He doesn't.) That dinner he says "I accept." At the confusion, he explains, "I accept your offer for…training." Orochimaru looks like he has won some sort of game. Kabuto smiles. Uchiha looks away. And Sasuke knows he has just about signed away his soul and can't bring himself to regret it.
Not yet.
...
Watching others spar reminded Sasuke how wrong this world is. Blades clashed and he learns not to flinch. Days when he is tired enough not to think by the time he crawls back to his room become a blessing. Screams of war become as normal as screams of excitement. Joy as common as rage.
Time becomes even more meaningless.
Uchiha corners him at some point, asks him why he is doing this and Sasuke smiles. "For you, of course." As if there could by any other answer. He has a purpose now. To find answers, to save Uchiha. Maybe that is why he has been dragged into this world. He hopes it is. And he doesn't think about his own family probably wondering where he is, worrying because in that world they are alive enough to worry.
Uchiha doesn't seem to like that answer. But that is okay. From what Sasuke has observed there isn't much Uchiha seemed to enjoy other than fighting.
The first time he gets to see the sun it is because he manages to land a hit on Kabuto. He is shocked enough not to block or dodge when Kabuto hits back. He ends up in the hospital, Kabuto as his doctor, Uchiha acting as his nurse until he tells the other to go to bed. They share. It's not odd for them to share a bed these days. Sasuke thinks Uchiha misses human contact. No… Sasuke knows he does.
The sun burns his eyes at first. But the feeling of the wind and heat on his skin is more than worth it. The visit only lasts a few minutes and the whole time Kabuto is staring at him, expecting…something. But Sasuke just curls up in a particularly nice patch of sunlight and refuses to move until he is told to.
After that Orochimaru returns from wherever he went and they start teaching him about auras—Chakra, Kabuto corrects and Sasuke shrugs. Uchiha usually sits in on these lessons, keeping a careful watch and stepping in at times when one of Orochimaru's scientists get a little too excited. The theory is fascinating in the way it seems more like magic than science, but Sasuke supposes in this fantastical world that would only be normal.
When he learns that touching chakra is akin to touching a soul, he tries not to blush. When he learned that snatching away a portion is akin to stealing away life, he is horrified. "I'm sorry," he tells Orochimaru because even now he doesn't want to kill even as he is trained to do so. And he thinks this world is too easy to die in.
Later that day, Uchiha askes Sasuke to tell him what he sees and Sasuke says white and warm and kind and Uchiha avoids him for three days. When he comes back, he spends the night in Sasuke's bed and his chakra settles over Sasuke like a hug.
...
The next time they go outside it's because there are invaders. Sasuke and Uchiha are not allowed to engage. They are not told who is invading but Uchiha says "Konoha" with a sort of longing and hatred that makes Sasuke want to cry. But that is nothing new. He is often close to tears these days.
"Why can't we go home?" Sasuke asks.
Uchiha sighs and pulls Sasuke in for a hug. His chakra pulses and Sasuke is reminded hauntingly of his own brother. He still doesn't know what goes on his counterpart's head for all that they're the same person but he's sure Uchiha cares for him just as he cares for Uchiha. "I can't get strong enough there," Uchiha tries to explain.
And Sasuke understands. Here even he has become strong. Strong enough to kill, to hurt. But not strong enough to protect and Sasuke says as much.
"I don't want to protect," Uchiha insists but Sasuke knows better. He has read his soul. "I am here to avenge."
"That's not true," Sasuke says. Around them are sounds of war, of blade against blade and screams of pain. He tries not to flinch.
So Uchiha tries, "If I return, they'll throw me in jail."
"They wouldn't be here if that is true," Sasuke says. And then he tries, "We can't find answers here."
Uchiha doesn't respond for a moment. There are chakra singles coming closer to their hiding space and Kabuto is looking at them from a safe distance away. His chakra still oozes but it no longer disgusts Sasuke in the same way. Now it just makes him pity. He wonders if Kabuto has ever cared for anyone but himself. Even Orochimaru…he sees the way the man's chakra has warmed. He cares for Sasuke in a strange, possessive way. He cares for Uchiha even more. And Sasuke wonders if even the snake man can be saved. He adds them to the growing list.
"What do you want to do?" Uchiha asks.
Sasuke looks away and towards the approaching chakra singles. They're engaged with oto-nin at the moment, flaring and dimming as they fights. He thinks he might have a plan. "Let me go."
Uchiha does not look surprised, "You think Orochimaru will just let you go?"
"He will if he's busy chasing you," Sasuke insists.
"No one will believe you're me," Uchiha says and Sasuke shrugs.
"They'll believe what they believe and I'll look for answers as I can." Sasuke insists. At some point they have turned fifteen, Sasuke thinks. They're fifteen and a war is being fought for them. Uchiha has grown out his hair so it sits at the same length as Sasuke's and it is like looking at a very sad reflection. A chakra signal flares and fades. "People are dying," Sasuke says and he doesn't know why he feels so numb.
"Do you trust me?" Sasuke presses and Uchiha nods without delay. They are the same and yet they are different. Sasuke has become stronger here. But now he needs to become strong enough to protect Uchiha and Itachi. "Then run. Let Orochimaru chase you. Look for your brother because we have questions that need answering and let me go to Konoha to look for clues.
Uchiha does not answer. But his sharigan bleeds into reality and Sasuke steps away. "Take care of yourself," Sasuke says.
Uchiha turns to Kabuto and draws his sword. "Worry about yourself," he smirks and Kabuto doesn't even have the decency to look surprised.
As their blades crash, Sasuke runs away.
...
Sasuke finds a Konoha-nin and saves their life. He doesn't kill, of course not. But he knocks out the oto-nins and helps the Konoha-nin to his feet. He has white hair and Sasuke thinks, stress. This world is stressful enough after all.
"Sasuke," they say and Sasuke nods.
"Why are you here?" Sasuke asks.
The konoha-nin takes a moment to find his voice. People are dying, Sasuke thinks, and they are having a conversation. He still feels strangely numb. He wants to go home. "Orochimaru is Konoha's debt."
"He's not here," Sasuke says and it's the truth, "He left when we felt your signature close to the border." "We" really means Sasuke because Sasuke told Orochimaru as soon as he could that there is an armed force coming and it is enough time for the snake man to sneak away, enough time for Uchiha and him to hide. He thinks the snake man cares for them because his soul reads that way. Sasuke thinks he cares for Orochimaru too.
He tells the konoha-nin none of this.
In his left eye, a sharingan spins and Sasuke says instead, "Kakashi-sensei, I'm tired." Because Uchiha has told him about the only other man in Konoha with a sharingan and how he trusts him. Somewhere another man dies and Sasuke feels tears in the corner of his eye.
Kakashi Hatake flinches as if he is struck and holds out his hand. "Come home, Sasuke."
Sasuke smiles, "Thank you."
...
(Sasuke is asleep at his back. Only two injured. One dead. When Tsunade sent the team of ten for a recon mission along Sound's borders, no one expects the army they find. One death is an acceptable loss. But a loss is a loss and it is felt throughout the camp as they make it back to one of Konoha's safe houses for treatment and rest.
Sasuke has been asleep since they left the battle field. He'd said they'd sensed them. No, Kakashi thinks, He'd said "we." But still he left, left Oto and Sound and Orochimaru of his own free will and that will count for something.
"How is he?" Genma asks and Kakashi shrugs. There are nurses and they are taking Sasuke—still asleep—somewhere.
"This makes things complicated," Kakashi says instead. Genma agrees
"Who will tell Tsunade?" Genma asks.
Kakashi shrugs.
"Will you take him to the hospital or IT?"
Kakashi shrugs.
Genma sighs, slips away and leaves Kakashi to his thoughts. Because Kakashi has never thought Sasuke would take his hand. Has never thought Sasuke would thank him. Has never thought he'd see the boy c-cry. (And here Kakashi's thoughts stop, loop back, and get stuck again on the thought of tears in a young boy so like what he was that he can barely breath through the pain and heartache and knowledge that he has failed…again.)
(But Sasuke is coming home of his own free will and that must count for something.)
When the nurse return it's to tell him of the starvation and stress that plagues his student and Kakashi despairs. Everything is far too complicated now.)
...
Sasuke is in awe as they step through the gates, taking it all in. Beautiful, he thinks. Konoha is beautiful in its simplicity. A mighty city hidden behind thick trees and a stone gate. Red and gold all over. He tells Kakashi this and Kakashi hums. Sasuke likes to think he's agreeing.
It hasn't been hard to play dumb, to let them think what they want of what happened to him in Sound. Torture, they have said, forgotten memories. Let them fill in the blanks they want. When Kakashi brings him first to the hospital and then to the Hokage, Sasuke let's them poke and prod. Sasuke likes Kakashi. Likes the silent, white-haired man who is Uchiha's teacher until Orochimaru stepped in (until Uchiha left this beautiful, peaceful city behind for a world that has taught him only how to slaughter.) Outside their small bubble of Jounin and Sasuke, he sees others gasp and chatter. Murmurs and unapologetic stares follow him through the city. And Sasuke closes his eyes and ears to it all. Instead, he reaches over gracelessly to weave his fingers with Kakashi's and let himself be lead through this golden city.
Peace looks good in this world. How he has missed peace.
Kakashi speaks to the Hokage in whispers as Sasuke allows his mind to wander. He hopes Uchiha is okay, safe and running like he'd told him. Let Orochimaru follow, Sasuke thinks,let Kabuto keep playing whatever game he means to.
"Uchiha," the Hokage snaps and Sasuke finally turns lazy eyes to look at her. She is beautiful and her chakra crackles with untold strength. It flares bright green and yet, for all its power, it emits the same warmth and kindness that characterizes Uchiha. He finds himself relaxing.
"Yes, Hokage-sama," Sasuke says.
The Hokage's eyes narrow and she shares a telling glance with Kakashi before looking back at him. "Why did you return?"
From the way Kakashi tenses, Sasuke imagines this is not originally what the Hokage had been saying. Sasuke shrugs, "I wanted to come home."
This catches them both off guard and Sasuke goes back to starring out the window. It is not a lie. They speak some more and Kakashi takes him by the hand and leads him away and out again into this beautiful peaceful city. Sasuke thinks, Why couldn't this whole world be like this? And he thinks, How could Uchiha ever leave this behind? So he tells Kakashi, "I'm sorry I left."
And Kakashi says, "I'm sorry I let you go."
And Sasuke nods. Accepts it just as Kakashi has accepted his apologies. When he meets Uchiha next Sasuke will tell him how much his sensei misses him and hopes that will be enough for Uchiha to stay.
...
Sasuke is not surprised when Kakashi leads him to a cell. He has expected it because it would have been too easy otherwise. When the balding, scarred man and the tired-looking blond man enter the room Sasuke smiles in greeting.
The bald man asks questions and the blond man observes. Sasukes answers as truthfully as he can. Sasuke imagines it is going well. It is only when the blond man makes a series of hand signs and Sasuke sees his chakra lash out does he react, instinctually pulling and twisting at the lemon-yellow chakra that surrounds the man until it is contained. It is only when three men wearing white masks enter the room that Sasuke realizes both he and the blond man are screaming. The lemon-yellow chakra is fading and Sasuke lets go, releases the chakra he has stolen and sends it back to the blond man as quickly as he can until he is the only one screaming.
There is a man restraining his hands and another with a knife at his throat. The third and the bald man are assisting the blond man to his feet. "I'm sorry," Sasuke says when he can control himself and his voice is rough. His throat hurts. "I'm so, so sorry."
The blond man stares at him in something like fear and something like curiosity before Sasuke is alone. He rests his head on the table and cries himself to sleep.
...
When he wakes there are drawings on his arms that move to his chest before finishing along his hipbones. Thick black lines are like veins connect them and Sasuke touches them cautiously. They do not smear, but they do not feel like a tattoo.
A woman in a white dress enters the room soon after he wakes and asks him how he feels. Her chakra is a shining red and orange. It is neither cool nor warm. Neither inviting nor uninviting. But there is strength like a forest fire. She asks him to mimic her as her hands move in a flurry of signs that he recognizes (snakeratmonkeyhare) only because Kabuto has drilled it in. When nothing happens he tries again, confused. Her expression remains the same but her chakra drops to her shoulders and floods outwards like a cap where before it had settled tight around her face and arms. He tries again and when nothing happens he notices a lack of warmth that usually accompanies the hand signals.
He looks again at the drawings on his arms and feels fear settle along the back of his neck. Kill or be killed, Kabuto had told him. Once Sasuke had chosen death. That is then. Now he has a purpose. How can he complete his mission if he cannot defend?
(Never kill. Not yet. Please not ever.)
...
When Kakashi returns for him, Sasuke asks about the blond man's health and Kakashi tells him everything is going to be okay. It is not very reassuring. On their way to wherever Kakashi is leading him next, they run into a beautiful, pink haired woman and Sasuke cannot help but stare.
"Sasuke," she whispers and Sasuke wishes he knew her name. Instead he turns to Kakashi.
Kakashi clears his throat awkwardly, "Sasuke, this is Sakura," he says, "You used to be teammates." There is a story there.
Sasuke combs through the memories Uchiha has told him and left him and finds himself lacking. "I thought my teammate was Naruto," he says. When he looks back, the woman looks distressed. He moves forward and takes her hand in an attempt to comfort her, "I'm sorry. I don't remember things very well, recently. But I'd like us to be friends again."
The woman squeaks some form of agreement and rips her hand away as if he'd burnt her. Perhaps they had not been on good terms and that is why Uchiha hadn't mentioned her. "I have a shift at the hospital," she says so fast it comes out more like "Ihaveashiftatthehopsital." And then she is gone.
Kakashi sighs.
Sasuke watches her go until he cannot see her any longer. "Kakashi-sensei, where is Naruto?"
Kakashi looks at Sasuke for a moment and then looks away. Leaving his question unanswered.
...
When Sasuke is five, his brother taught him how to skip rocks across a lake near their elementary school. Sasuke had just started and already he'd been terribly bored with his lessons. When he'd told Itachi this, Itachi had looked sad. But still Sasuke enjoyed school. He enjoyed hanging out with the friends he'd made in his first week there. Benjamin, he'd told Itachi, is his best friend because the boy had helped him snuggle a frog in after recess. They hadn't gotten caught.
It is there that Itachi met Benjamin for the first time. Already six years old (only six months older than Sasuke) because he'd started school a little later because he had trouble pronouncing his r's and w's, the blond is taller and broader than Sasuke and had no trouble lifting Sasuke up and spinning them around in a hug as Sasuke had shrieked for his brother to save him from hyperactive blonds.
Only when he'd finally been placed down and gotten enough breath to introduce his new friend to Itachi does Sasuke notice how impossible sad Itachi had looked. "Aniki?" Sasuke had asked in their mother tongue.
Itachi shook his head, tried to smile, said it is nice to meet him, and began teaching Benjamin how to skip rocks. It is only later that Sasuke would hear Itachi mumble under his breath, "Of course they found each other."
Looking now at the blond haired boy before him, Sasuke feels he understands why his brother had been so impossible sad. Because he knows this boy with his bright blue eyes and ridiculous grin. He knows the way he likes his coffee in the morning and the way he likes to greet Sasuke before they start school. Sasuke knows how clammy his hands had felt the first time he'd asked Sasuke out and he knows what his morning breath tastes like. Sasuke knows all these things about Naruto Uzumaki because he knows all those things about Benjamin Namikaze, the wild, beautiful blond-haired boy who'd helped Sasuke smuggle a frog in after recess and became his best friend and, years later, his boyfriend.
Of course, he says none of this. And when Kakashi slowly touches his arm after several moments of tense silence after Naruto burst his way into Kakashi's apartment just before breakfast, Sasuke couldn't help but start crying.
...
(Naruto is still shaking several minutes after Kakashi-sensei finally manages to calm Sasuke. "What happened to him?" Naruto has to ask because…because of all the things he'd expected when he finally met Sasuke again (harsh words and harsher fists) , tears had been the furthest from his mind.
Kakashi says nothing for a few moments as he calmly settles Sasuke down on the sofa and pulls a paw-print covered blanket over the sleeping boy. "His memories are hazy, interrogation…isn't effective, and we have no idea what's happened in Sound, not really."
Naruto frowns. He steps closer and looks down at the sleeping boy in front of him. "Why did he cry?"
Kakashi sighs, "We don't know. He hasn't done that in a while."
Naruto thinks he hates Orochimaru a little more than he used and he hadn't thought that was possible.)
...
The next morning, Sasuke apologies to Naruto because there is nothing else to do and asks if they can start over again.
"I'm Sasuke," Sasuke tries and holds out his hand.
Naruto stares at him as if he's never seen him before and Sasuke feels himself wavering. Benjamin. Benjamin. Benji. Ben. Sasuke thinks, Here you are. I've missed you. I love you. I love you. I love you. Finally, Naruto takes his hand and pulls him into a hug. Sasuke blinks tears away.
"Teme," Naruto snarls, pulls away and lifts his fist as if he's going to punch Sasuke and Sasuke holds up two hands, fingers spread, and smiles. "You…don't fucking do that again."
Sasuke laughs, "Fair."
He pretends that he doesn't see Naruto and Kakashi share looks of… confusion? behind his back as he turns away and asks about lunch. Let them think what they want. Let them fill in the blanks. Somewhere out there Uchiha is letting Orochimaru chase him from one side of the continent to the next. And Sasuke has a purpose.
He pushes thoughts of love and his true home far away and focuses. He has a family here to protect. Everything else can come later.
...
(Somewhere along the border of Frost and Cloud, Uchiha Sasuke pauses for a rest. For the moment, he is alone. But he does not know for sure and not for the first time longs for his twin's presence. Twin because for all that they are the same they are not. Pacifism and kindness and hope have no place in his world and yet…
I listened to him, didn't I? Sasuke thinks ruefully, Here I am with Orochimaru's nin on my tail and my brother's trail just warm enough to keep following.
"I'm coming for you, Aniki," Sasuke promises to the wind and he hopes somehow his brother hears him, "And this time things will be different.")
A/N: Thanks for reading. Please tell me what you think. I needed to get this out of my system.
Edit: So! I have decided to continue this story. After receiving such immediate and positive feedback, I feel like it would be stupid to deprive both me and you of the next chapter. I cannot commit to constant updates. I do have a chapter almost complete simply because work was really slow this week, but that will not always be the case.
Thank you for all your feedback! And I hope you enjoy the next chapter.
...
Also! The reason Uchiha isn't punch-my-arm-through-my-best-friend-crazy right now is thanks to Sasuke. I still believe Sasuke went to Orochimaru not just because he wanted power but because he wanted power to stop terrible things from happening to himself and those around him (aka He was a scared, traumatized child who never received the care he needed). And as he gained more and more power through battles, he lost that sense of morality and justice and protecting the weaker man that drove him in the first place leading to...Shippuden!Sasuke.
But with Sasuke there Uchiha finds a semblance of family and that need to protect family that we see when Uchiha protected Team 7 starts to show it's face again bringing him back from that edge. Uchiha also sees a gentleness in Sasuke that he didn't think could exists and longs for that in himself even though he "knows" gentleness and mercy have no place in his world. That's why he grew his hair out long to emulate Sasuke on some level.
Does that make sense?