Watershed

Summary: This had to be what Alec felt when everyone pressured him not to become what he would be. Drabble-Kiera. Post 02x09.

Warning: Drabble.

Set: After 02x09, Seconds.

Disclaimer: Standards apply.

After all went down – after the tracking and the cornering, the abducting and the torturing and the shooting and the chase, after the holding at gunpoint and Carlos' arrival, after pleas and promises and hesitation so thick she couldn't breathe – after the end of it all Kiera played back the memories recorded on her CMR. Carlos next to her was silent, somehow sensing that she needed his presence but not his spoken reassurances.

Alec.

Julien.

She replays it again, angles her vision and concentrates on their lips.

There is no destiny, only what we make now. –Thanks, brother.

Replay.

Two brothers in a hospital corridor.

She focusses on their eyes.

Replay.

An embrace.

She calculates the strength of their arms, the honesty in their features. The true emotions in their eyes.

Calculate scenario from given parameters.

What if: What if this had been the moment in which Julien decided not to let anyone rule his destiny? What if this was the second in which he promised himself not to have suffered in vain? What if that second, in this hospital corridor in Vancouver in 2013, an idea of the future had been born that rooted on hate and fury and would lead to the deaths of tens of thousands? What if, in the blink of a second, Julien had died and Theseus had been born?

In that case, Kiera had saved thousands of innocent people.

Replay.

Julien. On the ground, dripping wet. Shivering, weeping. Trembling in fear at the sight of her gun pointed at his head.

Calculate scenario from known variables.

What if: What if this had been the moment in which Julien decided not to let anyone rule his destiny? What if this was the second in which he promised himself not to have suffered in vain? What if that second, in this hospital corridor in Vancouver in 2013, an idea of the future had been born that would lead to a better world, a world led by a man who knew what ugliness hid behind human beings' facades and who tried his best to save innocents from it? What if, in the blink of a second, Julien had died and a savior had been born?

In that case, Kiera had condemned thousands of innocent people.

Replay.

Betrayal on Julien's face. Accusations. Alec's expression – surprise, disbelief, hopelessness – Julien's hateful words.

Calculate most probable outcome.

Error. Statistics invariant. Not enough space on random access memory.

What does your heart say, Kiera?

There is no destiny but the one we make. And oh the betrayal she can read on Alec's face, hear in his voice, the fear in Julien's trembling shoulders-

So this was the crossroads, this was her personal watershed. This was where Kiera Cameron had saved the future. This was where she had made sure everything would turn out exactly the way she knew it. This was where the results of her actions meant she could go home one day and she would have her husband back and her child and her life and nothing would have changed. This was it. This was what could have been the turning point in history, the point when everything changed for the better. This was the moment Alec Sadler Sr. had tried to create, this was what Kagame had tried to make them see, this was what everyone had tried to achieve. And Kiera had, too, and she had failed.

It has to be that simple.

Except that nothing ever was simple, especially not this.

She dropped her head into her hands, too stunned to even weep.

Don't do this, Kiera. She had done it.

Replay.

Alec.

Julien.

There has to be another way.

She had made sure everything would be exactly the way it had already happened before. Julien would become Theseus and thousands would follow him. Alec would build up SadTech and thousands would hate him. Thousands would revolt and thousands would fight and thousands would die. Kiera had stood at the watershed, at the place where everything could have changed, and she had only made the circle that was time continue on exactly the way she had known it would happen. It belied everything she had fought for, everything she was. How was she supposed to continue on like this?

Carlos was looking at her. She could feel his concerned gaze, like a ghost of the touch of his hand on her skin. He was there - and yet so far, far away.

She didn't need to close her eyes to see the events unfold in front of her again and again.

Replay.

For the first time in her life, she hated her perfect memory.