This is just a random thing I came up with for no apparent reason? No really, I was cooking eggs…..I mean what does that have to do with this? NOTHIN! Lol

A/N~ Any misspelled or grammar errors in the letters are there on purpose. If you spot them anywhere else, then it's an error and I would appreciate it if you would point them out for me.

Let me know how it goes

Letter #One

Dear Ass-Face,

I sincerely hope you crawl in a whole and die, you stupid bastard. Fuck you, fuck your family, fuck yourself, fuck your friends, and fuck it all. Have a terrible fucking life and go rot in a fucking whole.

Sincerely,

Naruto you bitch.

"Naruto…..this sucks."

"What?! I worked on that all day!"

"You worked on this all day? Dude, I've wiped my ass with better letters than this."

"I didn't even know you wiped your ass now."

"You're the one who failed kindergarten, look you didn't even spell hole right."

"FUCK YOU FAGGOT!"

"Alright that's enough." Interrupted an exasperated teacher from above the pair of arguing students, it was the middle of class but everyone was busy mingling around in their seats as they chattered about various dull topics that didn't nearly catch his attention as much as this, "Let me see the letter."

"Uhhhh…" Naruto held the letter close to his chest, trying to push it down into his shirt, but his teacher swiped the paper before he could even think about it. He watched in horror as Mr. Hatake scanned the words line for line; beside him Kiba's eyes flickered around praying to the powers that be to save him from an ass-whipping.

"This is terrible." Kakashi concluded, setting the paper down, reaching behind him he pulled up a nearby chair to their desk and pulled out the pen from his pants pocket, he began circling and underlying with heated passion. "This is for Sasuke right? I've heard you yell at him in the halls a few times with more passion than this. Naruto, when you write you need to clearly convey your thoughts to the reader. That means more description, better vocabulary, and spelling is always important."

"Well, what do you want me to do about it?" Naruto groaned, pulling the paper back towards him with a frown. "Writing is hard."

"Why are you writing in the first place?" inquired Kakashi, taking in the sudden quick look of sadness that flashed on Kiba's face for a brief moment.

"Well, I'm moving a few months…..and I just want to stick it to him." Naruto explained as the words on the page seemed to swirl with the red ink of his teacher's corrective pen until they swirled into the bastard's image, glaring from the page he pointed at him with a pointed challenge. "I really want to stick it to him."

Kakashi examined his student's glaring face, sighing as he leaned back with his feet perching on the desk in front of him, "I'll tell you what Naruto, if you can write a letter that impresses me before you leave, then I will replace every bad grade in the grade book that you have with nearly perfect marks. I'll help you write something for him."

"What?!" simultaneously roared Naruto and Kiba, Kakashi only chuckled. "Is that even possible?"

"Well….there is a danger to it." The teacher answered, "But I don't really need to be an English teacher, and I have plenty of money from my books."

"Well then why do you bother to hang around this place?" Kiba answered with a shrug, gesturing around to people, "Don't tell me it's the wonderful opportunity to expand the minds of your loving students."

Once again, Kakashi only chuckled, his eyes drifting to the wall next to him where the faint yell of a furious Iruka could be heard from the other side. "I have my reasons…so are you in or not?"

Naruto thought about it, good grades was something he couldn't pass up and would Kakashi even get caught? He had to admit his teacher was crafty. "Fine, I'll do it."

Smiling, his teacher only said one thing. "Beautiful."

Sasuke;

English; it was the last period of the day, and Sasuke was already so bored. All everyone ever did in this class was sit around and chat about ridiculous things, and their teacher just sat at his desk with his feet up and his nose in a book. What a joke.

The bell rang, freeing him finally, "Sasuke stay behind for a minute."

He considered just leaving anyway, but Kakashi was persistent just like freaking Sakura. If the teacher wanted to have a chat with him, then it was an absolute guarantee it was going to happen no matter what. Sasuke remembered when he challenged the teacher at the beginning of the year and ignored him, the guy showed up at his house with a pie and a smile that could only be seen in his eyes, effectively warming his way into the house by his pure skill of sweet-talking.

Grudgingly, Sasuke resisted the urge to slouch over and instead confidently strode over with his back held straight up and his dignity intact. Standing in front of the white-haired male, he only stared at the turning pages of the book, not bothering to make any form of contact as he spoke. "I have a proposition for you."

"Hn." What proposition could Kakashi possibly offer? There wasn't anything in the world the teacher could provide for his goals in the future, if it weren't for the insistence of the school and his parental figures, Sasuke Uchia wouldn't be here.

"Well Sasuke, I just thought you might be interested to know that you didn't do so well on your major grade essay." With one hand and his eye still scanning the pages of his book, Kakashi opened a drawer and revealed a familiar set of papers. "You know the one worth practically your whole grade."

A green smiley face mocked him next to a bright red 34, gritting his teeth he could only glare at Kakashi who flipped another page. Finally, the one eye poking out from behind the weird mask peered at him with a bored expression, "As a teacher, I just thought I might celebrate your imperfections just as much as your successes. This is a great opportunity for you to grow some more Sasuke, and learn that you too can misinterpret the true concepts being asked. You failed to properly answer the point, and you also failed to use a variety of sentence structures with a heightened sense of vocabulary. It was dull, tasteless, and boring."

The paper crumbled under the pressure of his fingers as he continued to glare at the glowing teacher; how could he not have answered the question properly? It was simple; analyze the abilities of perception. What was so hard about that? It was more of an opinion question than something that could be answered outright, and even then there were sources to draw from.

"So Sasuke, I will give you an assignment to make up for it, another sort of paper to replace this grade." With a smile Kakashi set the book into his lap and simply stared at the anger radiating off his student. "I want you to write me a letter, well not me really, how should I put this? I want you to write a letter to Naruto Uzumaki, about anything that you want. Show me the letter and then give it to him within the month. Then Sasuke, you'll have your grade."

"Write a letter to Naruto?" he was dead, this was definitely hell. How was a letter to the Dobe of all Dobe's supposed to amount to anything, knowing Kakashi he can't write just anything either.

"I know about your relationship with him, it's a poor one without any real explanation. You owe him that at least." Was all Kakashi replied, and with that Sasuke turned with a much brisker walk, slamming his way through the door as his way of accepting the proposal.

How could Sasuke have known that there was an innocent mistake on his prompt? How could he have known that everyone else had a prompt reading; analyze the abilities of your own perception? How could he have known his teacher would make such a mistake?

Or maybe, for the teacher at least, there was no mistake at all.

Dear Dobe,

….

Sasuke groaned into his keyboard, eyeing the screen. What was there to write? Kakashi, that asshole, he just enjoys these games of his. Writing a letter to Naruto isn't the problem, but writing a letter that would impress Kakashi; that was a problem.

Maybe he should start out differently.

Deleting his frustration until only "Dear" was left on the page, he had to get the juices flowing; he had to think of something, anything.

Dear Naruto,

You are….

Naruto was what? Annoying, disturbing, pathetic, retarded, and an ultimately all around disgusting person; that seemed like a wide range of vocabulary for Kakashi to read at least, but it would fail to impress him.

Dear Naruto,

You are….I have to write you this letter because Kakashi is an idiot, who failed me because he has sick….

No, no that wouldn't work. Kakashi might even giggle while reading that, and Sasuke did not want to please his teacher. Instead he resolved to delete everything until he reached "You are…" what could he say? And more importantly, what did Kakashi want him to say?

All questions he shouldn't have really been asking.

THE END no just kidding, but review~! Also I haven't given up on any other stories I'm just being incredibly lazy