Luna and Hermione walked around Hogwarts together. It was a rather interesting trip, considering that everywhere you looked there were guys kissing.
Hermione sighed.
"Look, there's Harry and Snape."
Luna always sounded like she was sighing.
"At least they look happy. Neville's over there watching Dean and Seamus."
"Well, of course; Neville's in love with Seamus. And Dumbledore is making out with Grindelwald. Where did he even come from?"
"Daddy believes he was never really dead."
Hermione mumbled something about conspiracy theories and looked around again.
"Draco and Blaise are kissing."
Luna smiled slightly.
"Not for long. Draco's been watching Harry and Snape all day."
"Blaise has Theodore. They'll be fine."
Both of them started at Voldemort suddenly appearing, but his scariness was diminished by the fact that the first thing he did was make out with Dumbledore, closely followed by Snape and Harry. All three looked shocked, but kissed back.
"Oh, look, Voldemort and Grindelwald are leaving."
Hermione snorted.
"Ron's over there with Neville. He could do so much better."
"Like Harry. He's always watching him."
"Too bad Harry and Snape are hopelessly in love."
"Not too much to let Remus in."
Remus, who up until this point had been making out with Sirius, kissed both Snape and Harry. He was pushed out by Sirius.
"Hmm…Sirius and Harry. Aren't they related?"
"Technically."
"Daddy has a theory that Sirius and James Potter were actually long lost brothers."
Hermione ignored Luna.
James Potter somehow showed up.
"Okay, this is getting weird."
Luna clapped her hands.
"Daddy said he was wasn't really dead."
"Did he say that he would kiss Harry and Professor Snape?"
Remus and Sirius decided to join the fun.
Hermione laughed.
"This is so insane. What is going on?"
"Daddy has a theory that we're all products of a greater being, but she wrote an unsatisfactory ending, so amateur writers write things like Harry and Snape kissing."
"That's crazy."
"No, there's real evidence for this. Why else would Sirius be kissing Remus?"
"Maybe they were actually together? They fit so well."
"But none of these pairings make any sense, so crazy people have to be writing them. It's quite entertaining, really."
"Well, then why are no girls kissing?"
"Daddy thinks that the creators must all be female."
Hermione thought, and couldn't come up with a way to refute this statement.
Luna giggled, and kissed Hermione passionately.
(AN: Oh, wow. This was such a crack fic. I wrote it, so doesn't that make it strange? I hope it made someone laugh. Please read/review! I also have a question for my readers. Does any one have a link to the article or video when JK Rowling told everyone that Dumbledore was gay? I'd love to see it.)